deepundergroundpoetry.com
Secret Doubt
The secret doubt
Swirls
In dark corners
Like my soft long hair
Curls around my bent neck
And strangles me
Swirls
In dark corners
Like my soft long hair
Curls around my bent neck
And strangles me
Published 22nd Dec 2013
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22nd Dec 2013 3:01am
A nice opening stanza, needs to be sustained though. When you have something like this, where you've started and are unsure on how to go any further you need to make sure you don't lose your theme and message in the mix of the imagery you're trying to create.
It continue with an extended noose metaphor of asphyxiation or similar. As though your "secret doubt" was constricting you, making things hard and being in the true fashion of the confessional poem, you should always include some emotion. Good luck and thank you (:
It continue with an extended noose metaphor of asphyxiation or similar. As though your "secret doubt" was constricting you, making things hard and being in the true fashion of the confessional poem, you should always include some emotion. Good luck and thank you (:
22nd Dec 2013 3:21am
Thanks so much for your comment. I will try to write a few more stanzas without losing the theme or mixing the imagery.
