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Weird shit and nothing else

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Magdalena said:🤣🤣 You're all nutty 🤪 in a fun way. Nothing taboo here, which makes it funnier.
Believe it or not, I used to be extremely shy. That's weird 🤣


Yeah, I call bullshit.

If I had the power of life and death in my cooter, Id be the most confident person on the planet.

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

Northern_Soul said:

Ive never thought of you as shy. Like. Ever.


I was the mousiest mouse of all mice.

Betty said:

Yeah, I call bullshit.

If I had the power of life and death in my cooter, Id be the most confident person on the planet.


Criss cross the w/holy vag. Until I started working in the gambling business at the sweet tender age of 18, I also became an Ann Summers rep and got into the world of sex toys

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Magdalena said:

Criss cross the w/holy vag. Until I started working in the gambling business at the sweet tender age of 18, I also became an Ann Summers rep and got into the world of sex toys


YAAAAASSS girl, now THAT is who I imagine you to be. A card, dealing, dildo selling, killer sex queen.

You're my hero. Will you sign my ass?

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

Betty said:

YAAAAASSS girl, now THAT is who I imagine you to be. A card, dealing, dildo selling, killer sex queen.

You're my hero. Will you sign my ass?


Ah, the only cards I've dealt, are the divination kind, a bit more potent.

I have a pen.

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Magdalena said:

Ah, the only cards I've dealt, are the divination kind, a bit more potent.

I have a pen.


I LIKEEE THE DARKEE.

TRUE story. (and where I got the inspiration) I signed a guy's ass on his bachelor party at a bar. He was drunk. I don't know what that happened.

Most of my stories end with... I don't know why that happened.

(drops trou, passes sharpie, bends over)
SIGN IT QUEEN!

I'm going to get it tattooed.


poet Anonymous

<< post removed >>
Northern_Soul
-Missy-
Tyrant of Words
England 33awards
Joined 10th Jan 2021
Forum Posts: 5957

Anonymous said:<< post removed >>

Im waiting for the day we fall asleep on the train and some cunt padlocks them together.

Inevitable. 🤣

poet Anonymous

<< post removed >>
Wafflenose
Ellie
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom 20awards
Joined 1st Aug 2021
Forum Posts: 1209

Just stumbled upon this thread and am loving it! Unfortunately, I'm boring and can't compete in the weird shit stakes, but it's fun reading everyone else's.

A few mildly amusing things that spring to mind:

I once walked in on one of my children's teachers having a wee. She'd forgotten to lock the door. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed. I was positively mortified.

At the age of 24, I was in a park, decided to have a swing in a baby swing (I was skinny then)... and got stuck.

I've had my tonsils out three times, and (weirdly) know someone else who has, too


Until the age of 15, I thought that drink driving involved driving along while clutching a Coke or similar, and couldn't work out what was so newsworthy about that.

Earlier this year, I dislocated my knee while I was demonstrating Yogic Flying to a child who is too young to remember the Natural Law Party. A couple of months later, I dislocated it again while showing someone else how I did it the first time. Whoops.

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Wafflenose said:Just stumbled upon this thread and am loving it! Unfortunately, I'm boring and can't compete in the weird shit stakes, but it's fun reading everyone else's.

A few mildly amusing things that spring to mind:

I once walked in on one of my children's teachers having a wee. She'd forgotten to lock the door. I'm not sure who was more embarrassed. I was positively mortified.

At the age of 24, I was in a park, decided to have a swing in a baby swing (I was skinny then)... and got stuck.

I've had my tonsils out three times, and (weirdly) know someone else who has, too


Until the age of 15, I thought that drink driving involved driving along while clutching a Coke or similar, and couldn't work out what was so newsworthy about that.

Earlier this year, I dislocated my knee while I was demonstrating Yogic Flying to a child who is too young to remember the Natural Law Party. A couple of months later, I dislocated it again while showing someone else how I did it the first time. Whoops.


(Those were pretty good. You get some
Honorable Mention points)

Oh you sweet, sweet darling. This is a gnarly group of shits, and I feel like we are going to corrupt you.

And Im here for that!

Come sit with Miss Betty. Lets chat! What color cape do you want for your twat?

Wafflenose
Ellie
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom 20awards
Joined 1st Aug 2021
Forum Posts: 1209

Ha ha, corrupt me if you like. I honestly am boring. 45 years old, one relationship, have been very drunk twice and don't really socialise!

I'll have a purple twat cape, please.

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Wafflenose said:Ha ha, corrupt me if you like. I honestly am boring. 45 years old, one relationship, have been very drunk twice and don't really socialise!

I'll have a purple twat cape, please.


Oh my. shitting . walruses. Its like. discovering the lost city of El Dorado. There are so many things to show you.

But first, have a twat cape. Its purple AND it has sparkles! Eep!

Ill invite you to the Betty Bar for the Morally Bankrupt later. Right now were just being casually weird.



Wafflenose
Ellie
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom 20awards
Joined 1st Aug 2021
Forum Posts: 1209

Squeeeee! Purple and sparkly! Thank you so much.

I did dye my hair every colour of the rainbow today.

MadameLavender
Guardian of Shadows
United States 88awards
Joined 17th Feb 2013
Forum Posts: 5610

Back to the lab!

Part of the lab where I work , is underground, with a couple of small windows near the ceiling to allow as a fire escape.  Before it was renovated, years ago, we used to have bees and hornets getting in through cracks around the windows, so to get rid of them, we made a game of it.

We kept a syringe and bottle of alcohol handy , and would target practice by squirting the bees with a blast of alcohol in the syringe.  They'd get drunk after getting blasted, then drop out of the air, midflight, then we'd finish them off by squashing them.

We , of course , kept score on how many bees, each of us killed, and got extra points if one landed on the bunsen burner flame & we didn't have to squash it.  🐝

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

MadameLavender said:Back to the lab!

Part of the lab where I work , is underground, with a couple of small windows near the ceiling to allow as a fire escape.  Before it was renovated, years ago, we used to have bees and hornets getting in through cracks around the windows, so to get rid of them, we made a game of it.

We kept a syringe and bottle of alcohol handy , and would target practice by squirting the bees with a blast of alcohol in the syringe.  They'd get drunk after getting blasted, then drop out of the air, midflight, then we'd finish them off by squashing them.

We , of course , kept score on how many bees, each of us killed, and got extra points if one landed on the bunsen burner flame & we didn't have to squash it.  🐝


I have never wanted to work in a lab. A&P was my least favorite class.

But fuckshit if listening to you doesnt make me reevaluate my life choices. You have shit, you have death, you have drunken bees. Like you win.

Also, Drunken Bees sounds like a badass name for a rock band.




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