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Weird shit and nothing else

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

TRUE STORIES ONLY.

So there was that time I almost ripped my labia off with a home waxing kit.

Yep.

'Bout snatched my own snatch off.

Then, because I didn't want to throw it away -- I figured might as well try the pits. Because who doesn't want bleeding armpits?  

Yep.


So... done any weird shit?


Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

I fucked my ex persons brains out  cross my heart and hope he dies, in hindsight, i would have let him, on set

I jest not. He had to have a five hour  50/50 op  to clip the bleed.

The, how did it happen in hospital was "on set" I had to explain it in detail, multiple times.

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Magdalena said:I fucked my ex persons brains out  cross my heart and hope he dies, in hindsight, i would have let him, on set

I jest not. He had to have a five hour  50/50 op  to clip the bleed.

The, how did it happen in hospital was "on set" I had to explain it in detail, multiple times.


Mags, wait, what? I need details woman, details! Clarify! Clarify! Did you give a man a stroke?! DID YOU?!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! OH MY  GOD!

YOU ARE A GODDESS! My sad labia is totally not in the same ballpark.

Northern_Soul
-Missy-
Tyrant of Words
England 33awards
Joined 10th Jan 2021
Forum Posts: 5957

I once had to go to casualty because I got superglue in my eye glueing magnets to (empty) snail shells for a craft project… ?

There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.

I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.

That was fairly weird. 🤢

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

Betty said:

Mags, wait, what? I need details woman, details! Clarify! Clarify! Did you give a man a stroke?! DID YOU?!

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! OH MY  GOD!

YOU ARE A GODDESS! My sad labia is totally not in the same ballpark.



It was a, Subarachnoid haemorrhage.  He wanted it tattooed on his arm, the pleb.
Details: As he hit euphoria,  he started foaming at the mouth and kind of fitting. I pushed him on the floor, he peed and was sick everywhere  then he stopped breathing.  I revived him while on the phone to emergency services   but he was paralysed from the neck down. The Ambulance people arrived then, worked on him for a bit and took him away.

I went to my mate's and we drank a bottle of Vodka


Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Magdalena said:


It was a, Subarachnoid haemorrhage.  He wanted it tattooed on his arm, the pleb.
Details: As he hit euphoria,  he started foaming at the mouth and kind of fitting. I pushed him on the floor, he peed and was sick everywhere  then he stopped breathing.  I revived him while on the phone to emergency services   but he was paralysed from the neck down. The Ambulance people arrived then, worked on him for a bit and took him away.

I went to my mate's and we drank a bottle of Vodka



I am going to hell for how hard I'm laughing at this.

Mags, you officially have The Golden Vagina -- able to give and take life. I'm in awe.

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

Northern_Soul said:I once had to go to casualty because I got superglue in my eye glueing magnets to (empty) snail shells for a craft project… ?

There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.

I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.

That was fairly weird. 🤢


🤢🤮🤮 I never want to go near McDonald's again, and I don't even eat their food.

Magdalena
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
Wales 62awards
Joined 21st Apr 2012
Forum Posts: 2993

Betty said:

I am going to hell for how hard I'm laughing at this.

Mags, you officially have The Golden Vagina -- able to give and take life. I'm in awe.




It's been closed for 15 years to recharge. 🙃

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Northern_Soul said:I once had to go to casualty because I got superglue in my eye glueing magnets to (empty) snail shells for a craft project… ?

There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.

I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.

That was fairly weird. 🤢


Yeah... yeah that's fairly weird. What actual shit?! I agree, McDs is like, uber gross. (But I will still eat the shit out of pack of nugs.)

Weirdest food moment:
My bestie brought me a pot roast in a crockpot, and I wasn't home for like... days. Maybe weeks. I work a LOT.

So I finally have a weekend and I'm like... huh... I should clean the fridge. Usually, that doesn't take long. Toss the take out boxes.

But the crockpot. It was like... rancid. Like... it smelled like five day old dead cat with a side of rotten cabbage.

I panicked. I didn't want it stinking up the garbage so...

Flushed it down the toilet.

A roast that turned. Potatoes. Carrots. Whole thing. Flushed.

That went well.

My entire bathroom, the hall, the house smelled like... death-ass for daaaayyyys after the flooding subsided.





Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Magdalena said:



It's been closed for 15 years to recharge. 🙃


GIRLFRIEND! For good reason! You can't just go wielding that thing willy-nilly!

With great power comes great responsibility.

(I'm totally in awe of your Golden Vag. Mine's kind of like, a dirty copper... maybe aluminum.)

poet Anonymous

Similar to Magdalena

I had an incident in my early 20’s

Me and a girl were flirting etc, etc
We ended up fucking behind the couch of a friends house,

She was screaming harder, harder
So I was like ok
Went harder
She started actual screaming
For about 5 seconds I thought I was “the man”

Til she kicked me in the face rolled over screaming and crying

My mate wakes up from a drunken coma thinking I was stabbing her to death

We get dressed drive to the hospital
She has a twisted pelvis,
so the doctor questions where the car is that we crashed,
Have the police been notified etc
Had to explain three times what happened so did she 😳

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Nevermindthegaps said:Similar to Magdalena

I had an incident in my early 20’s

Me and a girl were flirting etc, etc
We ended up fucking behind the couch of a friends house,

She was screaming harder, harder
So I was like ok
Went harder
She started actual screaming
For about 5 seconds I thought I was “the man”

Til she kicked me in the face rolled over screaming and crying

My mate wakes up from a drunken coma thinking I was stabbing her to death

We get dressed drive to the hospital
She has a twisted pelvis,
so the doctor questions where the car is that we crashed,
Have the police been notified etc
Had to explain three times what happened so did she 😳


Mothershit! NO!

REALLY?!

You and Mags officially need warning labels on your junk. Handle with caution. May cause death and displacement.


poet Anonymous

Betty said:

Mothershit! NO!

REALLY?!

You and Mags officially need warning labels on your junk. Handle with caution. May cause death and displacement.



I thought about getting

“Do you really want it harder”

Tattooed across my pelvis line, decided against it, because bragging about an almost permanent injury to someone’s a dick move

Betty
Dangerous Mind
United States 17awards
Joined 8th May 2012
Forum Posts: 475

Nevermindthegaps said:

I thought about getting

“Do you really want it harder”

Tattooed across my pelvis line, decided against it, because bragging about an almost permanent injury to someone’s a dick move


AND HE ENDS WITH A PUN!

A dick move... heh heh heh..

crimsin
Unveiling
Tyrant of Words
United States 123awards
Joined 25th Jan 2011
Forum Posts: 2645

I wanted to run away with the circus when I was sixteen
I followed a Moroccan acrobat to the next state
I think that's the strangest thing I've ever done....

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