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Weird shit and nothing else
Betty
Forum Posts: 511
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 511
TRUE STORIES ONLY.
So there was that time I almost ripped my labia off with a home waxing kit.
Yep.
'Bout snatched my own snatch off.
Then, because I didn't want to throw it away -- I figured might as well try the pits. Because who doesn't want bleeding armpits?
Yep.
So... done any weird shit?
So there was that time I almost ripped my labia off with a home waxing kit.
Yep.
'Bout snatched my own snatch off.
Then, because I didn't want to throw it away -- I figured might as well try the pits. Because who doesn't want bleeding armpits?
Yep.
So... done any weird shit?
Magdalena
Spartalena
Forum Posts: 3000
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 21st Apr 2012Forum Posts: 3000
I fucked my ex persons brains out cross my heart and hope he dies, in hindsight, i would have let him, on set
I jest not. He had to have a five hour 50/50 op to clip the bleed.
The, how did it happen in hospital was "on set" I had to explain it in detail, multiple times.
I jest not. He had to have a five hour 50/50 op to clip the bleed.
The, how did it happen in hospital was "on set" I had to explain it in detail, multiple times.
Betty
Forum Posts: 511
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 511
Magdalena said:I fucked my ex persons brains out cross my heart and hope he dies, in hindsight, i would have let him, on set
I jest not. He had to have a five hour 50/50 op to clip the bleed.
The, how did it happen in hospital was "on set" I had to explain it in detail, multiple times.
Mags, wait, what? I need details woman, details! Clarify! Clarify! Did you give a man a stroke?! DID YOU?!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! OH MY GOD!
YOU ARE A GODDESS! My sad labia is totally not in the same ballpark.
I jest not. He had to have a five hour 50/50 op to clip the bleed.
The, how did it happen in hospital was "on set" I had to explain it in detail, multiple times.
Mags, wait, what? I need details woman, details! Clarify! Clarify! Did you give a man a stroke?! DID YOU?!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! OH MY GOD!
YOU ARE A GODDESS! My sad labia is totally not in the same ballpark.
Anonymous
I once had to go to casualty because I got superglue in my eye glueing magnets to (empty) snail shells for a craft project… ?
There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.
I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.
That was fairly weird. 🤢
There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.
I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.
That was fairly weird. 🤢
Magdalena
Spartalena
Forum Posts: 3000
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
62
Joined 21st Apr 2012Forum Posts: 3000
Betty said:
Mags, wait, what? I need details woman, details! Clarify! Clarify! Did you give a man a stroke?! DID YOU?!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! OH MY GOD!
YOU ARE A GODDESS! My sad labia is totally not in the same ballpark.
It was a, Subarachnoid haemorrhage. He wanted it tattooed on his arm, the pleb.
Details: As he hit euphoria, he started foaming at the mouth and kind of fitting. I pushed him on the floor, he peed and was sick everywhere then he stopped breathing. I revived him while on the phone to emergency services but he was paralysed from the neck down. The Ambulance people arrived then, worked on him for a bit and took him away.
I went to my mate's and we drank a bottle of Vodka
Mags, wait, what? I need details woman, details! Clarify! Clarify! Did you give a man a stroke?! DID YOU?!
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! OH MY GOD!
YOU ARE A GODDESS! My sad labia is totally not in the same ballpark.
It was a, Subarachnoid haemorrhage. He wanted it tattooed on his arm, the pleb.
Details: As he hit euphoria, he started foaming at the mouth and kind of fitting. I pushed him on the floor, he peed and was sick everywhere then he stopped breathing. I revived him while on the phone to emergency services but he was paralysed from the neck down. The Ambulance people arrived then, worked on him for a bit and took him away.
I went to my mate's and we drank a bottle of Vodka
Betty
Forum Posts: 511
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 511
Magdalena said:
It was a, Subarachnoid haemorrhage. He wanted it tattooed on his arm, the pleb.
Details: As he hit euphoria, he started foaming at the mouth and kind of fitting. I pushed him on the floor, he peed and was sick everywhere then he stopped breathing. I revived him while on the phone to emergency services but he was paralysed from the neck down. The Ambulance people arrived then, worked on him for a bit and took him away.
I went to my mate's and we drank a bottle of Vodka
I am going to hell for how hard I'm laughing at this.
Mags, you officially have The Golden Vagina -- able to give and take life. I'm in awe.
It was a, Subarachnoid haemorrhage. He wanted it tattooed on his arm, the pleb.
Details: As he hit euphoria, he started foaming at the mouth and kind of fitting. I pushed him on the floor, he peed and was sick everywhere then he stopped breathing. I revived him while on the phone to emergency services but he was paralysed from the neck down. The Ambulance people arrived then, worked on him for a bit and took him away.
I went to my mate's and we drank a bottle of Vodka
I am going to hell for how hard I'm laughing at this.
Mags, you officially have The Golden Vagina -- able to give and take life. I'm in awe.
Magdalena
Spartalena
Forum Posts: 3000
Spartalena
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 21st Apr 2012Forum Posts: 3000
Northern_Soul said:I once had to go to casualty because I got superglue in my eye glueing magnets to (empty) snail shells for a craft project… ?
There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.
I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.
That was fairly weird. 🤢
🤢🤮🤮 I never want to go near McDonald's again, and I don't even eat their food.
There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.
I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.
That was fairly weird. 🤢
🤢🤮🤮 I never want to go near McDonald's again, and I don't even eat their food.
Betty
Forum Posts: 511
Tyrant of Words
27
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 511
Northern_Soul said:I once had to go to casualty because I got superglue in my eye glueing magnets to (empty) snail shells for a craft project… ?
There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.
I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.
That was fairly weird. 🤢
Yeah... yeah that's fairly weird. What actual shit?! I agree, McDs is like, uber gross. (But I will still eat the shit out of pack of nugs.)
Weirdest food moment:
My bestie brought me a pot roast in a crockpot, and I wasn't home for like... days. Maybe weeks. I work a LOT.
So I finally have a weekend and I'm like... huh... I should clean the fridge. Usually, that doesn't take long. Toss the take out boxes.
But the crockpot. It was like... rancid. Like... it smelled like five day old dead cat with a side of rotten cabbage.
I panicked. I didn't want it stinking up the garbage so...
Flushed it down the toilet.
A roast that turned. Potatoes. Carrots. Whole thing. Flushed.
That went well.
My entire bathroom, the hall, the house smelled like... death-ass for daaaayyyys after the flooding subsided.
There was also this time in McDonald’s when I ordered a chicken sandwich with no Mayo. So I bit into it, and low and behold, Mayo.
I took it back. They investigated. It wasn’t Mayo. It was a chicken cyst that had burst.
That was fairly weird. 🤢
Yeah... yeah that's fairly weird. What actual shit?! I agree, McDs is like, uber gross. (But I will still eat the shit out of pack of nugs.)
Weirdest food moment:
My bestie brought me a pot roast in a crockpot, and I wasn't home for like... days. Maybe weeks. I work a LOT.
So I finally have a weekend and I'm like... huh... I should clean the fridge. Usually, that doesn't take long. Toss the take out boxes.
But the crockpot. It was like... rancid. Like... it smelled like five day old dead cat with a side of rotten cabbage.
I panicked. I didn't want it stinking up the garbage so...
Flushed it down the toilet.
A roast that turned. Potatoes. Carrots. Whole thing. Flushed.
That went well.
My entire bathroom, the hall, the house smelled like... death-ass for daaaayyyys after the flooding subsided.
Betty
Forum Posts: 511
Tyrant of Words
27
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 511
Anonymous
Similar to Magdalena
I had an incident in my early 20’s
Me and a girl were flirting etc, etc
We ended up fucking behind the couch of a friends house,
She was screaming harder, harder
So I was like ok
Went harder
She started actual screaming
For about 5 seconds I thought I was “the man”
Til she kicked me in the face rolled over screaming and crying
My mate wakes up from a drunken coma thinking I was stabbing her to death
We get dressed drive to the hospital
She has a twisted pelvis,
so the doctor questions where the car is that we crashed,
Have the police been notified etc
Had to explain three times what happened so did she 😳
I had an incident in my early 20’s
Me and a girl were flirting etc, etc
We ended up fucking behind the couch of a friends house,
She was screaming harder, harder
So I was like ok
Went harder
She started actual screaming
For about 5 seconds I thought I was “the man”
Til she kicked me in the face rolled over screaming and crying
My mate wakes up from a drunken coma thinking I was stabbing her to death
We get dressed drive to the hospital
She has a twisted pelvis,
so the doctor questions where the car is that we crashed,
Have the police been notified etc
Had to explain three times what happened so did she 😳
Betty
Forum Posts: 511
Tyrant of Words
27
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 511
Nevermindthegaps said:Similar to Magdalena
I had an incident in my early 20’s
Me and a girl were flirting etc, etc
We ended up fucking behind the couch of a friends house,
She was screaming harder, harder
So I was like ok
Went harder
She started actual screaming
For about 5 seconds I thought I was “the man”
Til she kicked me in the face rolled over screaming and crying
My mate wakes up from a drunken coma thinking I was stabbing her to death
We get dressed drive to the hospital
She has a twisted pelvis,
so the doctor questions where the car is that we crashed,
Have the police been notified etc
Had to explain three times what happened so did she 😳
Mothershit! NO!
REALLY?!
You and Mags officially need warning labels on your junk. Handle with caution. May cause death and displacement.
I had an incident in my early 20’s
Me and a girl were flirting etc, etc
We ended up fucking behind the couch of a friends house,
She was screaming harder, harder
So I was like ok
Went harder
She started actual screaming
For about 5 seconds I thought I was “the man”
Til she kicked me in the face rolled over screaming and crying
My mate wakes up from a drunken coma thinking I was stabbing her to death
We get dressed drive to the hospital
She has a twisted pelvis,
so the doctor questions where the car is that we crashed,
Have the police been notified etc
Had to explain three times what happened so did she 😳
Mothershit! NO!
REALLY?!
You and Mags officially need warning labels on your junk. Handle with caution. May cause death and displacement.
Anonymous
Betty said:
Mothershit! NO!
REALLY?!
You and Mags officially need warning labels on your junk. Handle with caution. May cause death and displacement.
I thought about getting
“Do you really want it harder”
Tattooed across my pelvis line, decided against it, because bragging about an almost permanent injury to someone’s a dick move
Mothershit! NO!
REALLY?!
You and Mags officially need warning labels on your junk. Handle with caution. May cause death and displacement.
I thought about getting
“Do you really want it harder”
Tattooed across my pelvis line, decided against it, because bragging about an almost permanent injury to someone’s a dick move
Betty
Forum Posts: 511
Tyrant of Words
27
Joined 8th May 2012Forum Posts: 511
crimsin
Unveiling
Forum Posts: 2657
Unveiling
Tyrant of Words
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Joined 25th Jan 2011 Forum Posts: 2657
I wanted to run away with the circus when I was sixteen
I followed a Moroccan acrobat to the next state
I think that's the strangest thing I've ever done....
I followed a Moroccan acrobat to the next state
I think that's the strangest thing I've ever done....