Funny by Top Critiquers Poems
#funny
funny by top critiquers poems. Poems written by members who have given lots of feedback to other poets this month.
DamianDeadLove
Poem Published
27th Nov 2024 8:22am
27th Nov 2024 8:22am
Thanksgiving At DeadLove Manor
Hello, my brothers and sisters who occupy this creative writing atmosphere. Where the poets/poetesses are known for their hospitality here at DU. Cast your mind with me, folks. I’m gonna try something a little different, you’re all invited to Thanksgiving Dinner here at DeadLove Manor.
A turkey with all the trimmings and every side dish your mind could imagine. A dessert table filled with pies of many fillings and flavors. Wait a minute! That’s traditional and all, but we’re writers damn it. We march to our own drum, we’re anything but predictable.
I say we...
A turkey with all the trimmings and every side dish your mind could imagine. A dessert table filled with pies of many fillings and flavors. Wait a minute! That’s traditional and all, but we’re writers damn it. We march to our own drum, we’re anything but predictable.
I say we...
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
#family
#funny #parody
#funny #parody
192 reads
30 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
1st Dec 2024 12:17pm
1st Dec 2024 12:17pm
Ronald "Satanic" McDonald
Looking for something to eat
Plenty of options, just like it should be
Pizza or burger, fried chicken or wings?
Let’s order McDonald’s, getting a few Big Macs for me
But something is wrong when they get to my door
Fast food chants, burning flames on the floor
Too scared to open, I look through my peephole
And Ronald's right there, looking more like a foe
Please sir don’t kill me, this country is free
And give me the burgers, I’ll cover the fee
Ronald looks at me “It’s $10’95”
Oh hell yeah brother! I’ll die for that price
...
Plenty of options, just like it should be
Pizza or burger, fried chicken or wings?
Let’s order McDonald’s, getting a few Big Macs for me
But something is wrong when they get to my door
Fast food chants, burning flames on the floor
Too scared to open, I look through my peephole
And Ronald's right there, looking more like a foe
Please sir don’t kill me, this country is free
And give me the burgers, I’ll cover the fee
Ronald looks at me “It’s $10’95”
Oh hell yeah brother! I’ll die for that price
...
#devil
#food
#funny
#parody
#satirical
68 reads
7 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
25th Aug 2024 3:00pm
25th Aug 2024 3:00pm
The Mafia Romance DUP Men
In being fare I needed you to see the Mafia Men characters. lol
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
#funny
52 reads
11 Comments
crimsin
Unveiling
Unveiling
Poem Published
13th Nov 2024 3:13pm
13th Nov 2024 3:13pm
boogie man
my love of boogers began when I was a small child
I would sneeze
and the snot would fly, big mucusy globs running down my face
usually blending with my tears
where asthma was a norm and my breathing constricted
they would let loose and I would eat them
disgusting I know but little did I know I was building immunity
the germs would attack and I would devour them
greenies being favored for their rich salty taste
sliding on down my face
I would often get in trouble for having such a messy nose
my dad insisted it was gross
...
I would sneeze
and the snot would fly, big mucusy globs running down my face
usually blending with my tears
where asthma was a norm and my breathing constricted
they would let loose and I would eat them
disgusting I know but little did I know I was building immunity
the germs would attack and I would devour them
greenies being favored for their rich salty taste
sliding on down my face
I would often get in trouble for having such a messy nose
my dad insisted it was gross
...
#funny
66 reads
0 Comments
Ahavati
Tams
Tams
Poem Published
18th May 2020 9:02pm
18th May 2020 9:02pm
bon appétit
bon appétit viz
#animals
#nature
#food
#funny
#LifeCycle
795 reads
24 Comments
PoetSpeak
Poem Published
11th Aug 2024 3:04pm
11th Aug 2024 3:04pm
Was tempted to put whipped cream on my oatmeal this morning
Try to eat healthy
Oatmeal 5 days a week
No sugar
Always organic fruit
Pumpkin seeds
For my aging prostate
Unsweetened almond milk
You know the drill
This morning however
Was eying the whipped cream
The low fat stuff with bad chemicals
The Irish Whiskey in my bar
Half a pound of fatty bacon
Undercooked and 3 eggs over easy
Whole Wheat toast and lots of butter
I know what you're thinking
He's a rogue
Rules are for others
Farts loudly in places of worship ...
Oatmeal 5 days a week
No sugar
Always organic fruit
Pumpkin seeds
For my aging prostate
Unsweetened almond milk
You know the drill
This morning however
Was eying the whipped cream
The low fat stuff with bad chemicals
The Irish Whiskey in my bar
Half a pound of fatty bacon
Undercooked and 3 eggs over easy
Whole Wheat toast and lots of butter
I know what you're thinking
He's a rogue
Rules are for others
Farts loudly in places of worship ...
#food
#funny
#healing
#men
#MentalHealth
160 reads
29 Comments
WillowsWhimsies
Poem Published
15th Nov 2024 9:40pm
15th Nov 2024 9:40pm
no joke...
listen...
I got a few questions
been on my mind a minute
just keep building
so I'm gonna put them out there
see where it gets me
can't they come up with some kinda fix-a-flat
who do we see about that
cuz lately...
the girls aren't feeling as elevated
looking a bit tired
deflated
I want my bounce back
these days it seems like everything sags
& if I gotta pee
don't even look sideways at me
takes that trickle down effect...
to a whole other level
it's a serious situation
when the...
I got a few questions
been on my mind a minute
just keep building
so I'm gonna put them out there
see where it gets me
can't they come up with some kinda fix-a-flat
who do we see about that
cuz lately...
the girls aren't feeling as elevated
looking a bit tired
deflated
I want my bounce back
these days it seems like everything sags
& if I gotta pee
don't even look sideways at me
takes that trickle down effect...
to a whole other level
it's a serious situation
when the...
#aging
#frustration
#funny #women
#funny #women
150 reads
20 Comments
Solomon_Song
Poem Published
3rd Aug 2024 7:22am
3rd Aug 2024 7:22am
IN THE TUB
Don't you blub -
In the tub
at the club
give me rub
near my stub!
In the tub
at the club
give me rub
near my stub!
#erotic
#funny
#rhyming
153 reads
1 Comment
Pete_25
Poem Published
13th Dec 2024 8:34am
13th Dec 2024 8:34am
Supermarket Sweep
Never ending aisles
Oh grocery store
Two for one offers
Feed me it all
Baskets in bloom
Trollies a glee
Shopping list frenzy
Food spending spree
Shelf upon shelf
Line after line
Screaming bored children
Pass me the wine
Decision, decision
No thrill, top brand
Decision, collision
Octopus hand
Delivery option
Armchair, online
Shopping unpacked
Where is that wine?
Oh grocery store
Two for one offers
Feed me it all
Baskets in bloom
Trollies a glee
Shopping list frenzy
Food spending spree
Shelf upon shelf
Line after line
Screaming bored children
Pass me the wine
Decision, decision
No thrill, top brand
Decision, collision
Octopus hand
Delivery option
Armchair, online
Shopping unpacked
Where is that wine?
#consumerism
#funny
92 reads
16 Comments
Duende
Poem Published
6th Jul 2024 2:00pm
6th Jul 2024 2:00pm
Rigmaroles
he's the example
of whatsit to me
shitty solipsist
cocky pismire
a skullduggery
asshat with his
gelastic jalopy
quite bourgois
don't you think
flaccid britches
always down for
a lousy attempt
at shenanigans
-accismus style-
so gallivant chick
parades with your
hood wink dick &
egregious ways
as you fake your
brouhaha smiles
& flummoxed flare
your silly rigmaroles
won't get you anywhere
of whatsit to me
shitty solipsist
cocky pismire
a skullduggery
asshat with his
gelastic jalopy
quite bourgois
don't you think
flaccid britches
always down for
a lousy attempt
at shenanigans
-accismus style-
so gallivant chick
parades with your
hood wink dick &
egregious ways
as you fake your
brouhaha smiles
& flummoxed flare
your silly rigmaroles
won't get you anywhere
#funny
#power
238 reads
20 Comments
MidnightSonneteer
Poem Published
6th Jun 2022 1:08am
6th Jun 2022 1:08am
Creature Feature
Oh clarity, thy name is moon...
Probing the sky with golden light
From Szechuan to Saskatoon
On any carefree cloudless night
When coyote song is heard to croon
In between the bats in flight
After their sonar gets in tune
For an efficient insect bite
With mouths more like a fork than spoon
To the keen zookeeper's sight
Which will not be too picayune
If zoologists know how to write
Better than the standard baboon
Passing for a well read troglodyte
Who moonlights with a pet raccoon
Learning laws of copyright!
Probing the sky with golden light
From Szechuan to Saskatoon
On any carefree cloudless night
When coyote song is heard to croon
In between the bats in flight
After their sonar gets in tune
For an efficient insect bite
With mouths more like a fork than spoon
To the keen zookeeper's sight
Which will not be too picayune
If zoologists know how to write
Better than the standard baboon
Passing for a well read troglodyte
Who moonlights with a pet raccoon
Learning laws of copyright!
#funny
204 reads
2 Comments
Honoria
Poem Published
14th Feb 2021 9:12pm
14th Feb 2021 9:12pm
Poor Man, Or Not
He had a nice life.
Yet wanted a wife.
To share all his ups and his downs.
No luck in the city
he went into the town,
and left only ever wearing a frown.
He searched to the north
and then to the south.
Leaving him, sadly, down in the mouth.
“Poor me” said the man,
“Life can’t be this lonely,
all I want is a woman before I end pronely.”
This time I’ll turn right
instead of the left
I’ll see a fair beauty anon and with heft.
Fair maiden! An angel.
Sparkling and sweet. ...
Yet wanted a wife.
To share all his ups and his downs.
No luck in the city
he went into the town,
and left only ever wearing a frown.
He searched to the north
and then to the south.
Leaving him, sadly, down in the mouth.
“Poor me” said the man,
“Life can’t be this lonely,
all I want is a woman before I end pronely.”
This time I’ll turn right
instead of the left
I’ll see a fair beauty anon and with heft.
Fair maiden! An angel.
Sparkling and sweet. ...
#funny
731 reads
35 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny by Top Critiquers Poems
