Funny by Top Critiquers Poems
#funny
funny by top critiquers poems. Poems written by members who have given lots of feedback to other poets this month.
'merica
My one regret is the bloodline I derived from
I’m not a pedigree or a monkey’s uncle
My father is a penniless swami
My mother is a peace creep
We live up the river,
near a civil war battle ground
When there is a downwind,
the water has a polluted, toxic smell
A few years ago, I needed a pair of glasses
Never received them,
No insurance, no money!
My mother bitch slapped me a few times,
thinking that would help straighten my eyes out
Now I have short eyes!
Fuck, she’s dumb.
My brother, who is three years...
I’m not a pedigree or a monkey’s uncle
My father is a penniless swami
My mother is a peace creep
We live up the river,
near a civil war battle ground
When there is a downwind,
the water has a polluted, toxic smell
A few years ago, I needed a pair of glasses
Never received them,
No insurance, no money!
My mother bitch slapped me a few times,
thinking that would help straighten my eyes out
Now I have short eyes!
Fuck, she’s dumb.
My brother, who is three years...
#family
#Easter
#fiction
#funny
#poverty
50 reads
6 Comments
Dutch Oven
I hear, the gases that you keep…
When you’re fartin’ in your sleep”
(So Romantic)
She told me that this morning
(Yeah, she got jokes too)
Then she let me have it
The whole truth and nothing butt
Now I don’t feel ass charming
Here I thought
If I kept it quiet and not toot around her
I was keeping some kind of mystery
Turns out in my sleep my Annie has been a suffering
(Is she OK?)
Talk about Misery
“You’ve Dutch Oven’d me countless times”
She said with...
When you’re fartin’ in your sleep”
(So Romantic)
She told me that this morning
(Yeah, she got jokes too)
Then she let me have it
The whole truth and nothing butt
Now I don’t feel ass charming
Here I thought
If I kept it quiet and not toot around her
I was keeping some kind of mystery
Turns out in my sleep my Annie has been a suffering
(Is she OK?)
Talk about Misery
“You’ve Dutch Oven’d me countless times”
She said with...
#love
#wife
#funny
91 reads
9 Comments
Damnation
dying to the light
I sink a little lower than I was before
deep in the darkness is where I find myself
losing sight of reality feels good
slipping under the surface
I am finally understood
gripping madness laughs with me
my insanity proven it provokes the demon
silently approaching, a demoness with need
sinking her teeth into me
I taste the bedevilment of the moment
and get turned on
stimulating anarchy surges through my veins
and I corrupt a feeling
I love the untimely nature of my demise by her...
I sink a little lower than I was before
deep in the darkness is where I find myself
losing sight of reality feels good
slipping under the surface
I am finally understood
gripping madness laughs with me
my insanity proven it provokes the demon
silently approaching, a demoness with need
sinking her teeth into me
I taste the bedevilment of the moment
and get turned on
stimulating anarchy surges through my veins
and I corrupt a feeling
I love the untimely nature of my demise by her...
#lust
#dark
#funny #vampires
#funny #vampires
145 reads
6 Comments
Poor Man, Or Not
He had a nice life.
Yet wanted a wife.
To share all his ups and his downs.
No luck in the city
he went into the town,
and left only ever wearing a frown.
He searched to the north
and then to the south.
Leaving him, sadly, down in the mouth.
“Poor me” said the man,
“Life can’t be this lonely,
all I want is a woman before I end pronely.”
This time I’ll turn right
instead of the left
I’ll see a fair beauty anon and with heft.
Fair maiden! An angel.
Sparkling and sweet. ...
Yet wanted a wife.
To share all his ups and his downs.
No luck in the city
he went into the town,
and left only ever wearing a frown.
He searched to the north
and then to the south.
Leaving him, sadly, down in the mouth.
“Poor me” said the man,
“Life can’t be this lonely,
all I want is a woman before I end pronely.”
This time I’ll turn right
instead of the left
I’ll see a fair beauty anon and with heft.
Fair maiden! An angel.
Sparkling and sweet. ...
#funny
659 reads
35 Comments
fun
i am
tired
of being
serious
about being
serious
all of
my time,
where is
the fun,
the laughter,
can't you
see
the humor
in most of
our lives?
tired
of being
serious
about being
serious
all of
my time,
where is
the fun,
the laughter,
can't you
see
the humor
in most of
our lives?
#sadness
#funny
#confusion
72 reads
8 Comments
Forgive Me
For all things
I did say
Could say
Will probably say
Didn't mean to say
Said anyway
Will probably say again
Forgive me
Please
I did say
Could say
Will probably say
Didn't mean to say
Said anyway
Will probably say again
Forgive me
Please
#forgiveness
#funny
#TruthOfLife
#myself
#philosophical
350 reads
28 Comments
bon appétit
bon appétit viz
#animals
#nature
#food
#funny
#LifeCycle
735 reads
24 Comments
IF YOU USE TOYS
#sex
#erotic
#rhyming
#funny
#ThrillSeeking
230 reads
4 Comments
reconnecting ...
I think it might be time...
...to go find it...
...dig it out...
...and dust it off
it's a shame
...really...
it requires a lot of direction
much one sided effort
goes against my grain
not my preferred method of easing the ache
somehow it's always made me feel rather...
...lonely
like a table for one...
...in a romantic Cafe
I just feel so misplaced
but needs must...
...and they do...
now...
...where did I put those batteries?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
...to go find it...
...dig it out...
...and dust it off
it's a shame
...really...
it requires a lot of direction
much one sided effort
goes against my grain
not my preferred method of easing the ache
somehow it's always made me feel rather...
...lonely
like a table for one...
...in a romantic Cafe
I just feel so misplaced
but needs must...
...and they do...
now...
...where did I put those batteries?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
#funny
#confessional
106 reads
5 Comments
Deep Underground Community
(without fear or favour)
written in shared ink-stained dreams
shared where words dance in creative
woven tapestry of ethereal canvas
the unions of souls can be found
the whispered promises of love
entanglement in earthy passions
shared transcend the physical
as they are puffs of smoke
creative and heartfelt it may sound
they are born of mere words
for in deep underground
nothing is what they seem
surrender to the realm where poems reign
let us weave our tale verses entwine
creating...
written in shared ink-stained dreams
shared where words dance in creative
woven tapestry of ethereal canvas
the unions of souls can be found
the whispered promises of love
entanglement in earthy passions
shared transcend the physical
as they are puffs of smoke
creative and heartfelt it may sound
they are born of mere words
for in deep underground
nothing is what they seem
surrender to the realm where poems reign
let us weave our tale verses entwine
creating...
#funny
#WritingPoetry
#SelfReflection
61 reads
12 Comments
12 days of Christmas Violence
My true love gave
12 Christmas presents
for the 12 days of
Christmas she gave me
1 gun from hell
2 burning heads
3 heaven guns
4 katana swords
5 Golden bodies
6 screaming maidens
7 Wonders of the World
8 Freaks of the Night
9 Ninjas dancing
10 Court Jesters
11 Pipe Bombs
12 Rocket Launchers
So my true love has
Given me the World
12 Christmas presents
for the 12 days of
Christmas she gave me
1 gun from hell
2 burning heads
3 heaven guns
4 katana swords
5 Golden bodies
6 screaming maidens
7 Wonders of the World
8 Freaks of the Night
9 Ninjas dancing
10 Court Jesters
11 Pipe Bombs
12 Rocket Launchers
So my true love has
Given me the World
#murder
#violence
#Christmas
#music
#funny
410 reads
16 Comments
Creature Feature
Oh clarity, thy name is moon...
Probing the sky with golden light
From Szechuan to Saskatoon
On any carefree cloudless night
When coyote song is heard to croon
In between the bats in flight
After their sonar gets in tune
For an efficient insect bite
With mouths more like a fork than spoon
To the keen zookeeper's sight
Which will not be too picayune
If zoologists know how to write
Better than the standard baboon
Passing for a well read troglodyte
Who moonlights with a pet raccoon
Learning laws of copyright!
Probing the sky with golden light
From Szechuan to Saskatoon
On any carefree cloudless night
When coyote song is heard to croon
In between the bats in flight
After their sonar gets in tune
For an efficient insect bite
With mouths more like a fork than spoon
To the keen zookeeper's sight
Which will not be too picayune
If zoologists know how to write
Better than the standard baboon
Passing for a well read troglodyte
Who moonlights with a pet raccoon
Learning laws of copyright!
#funny
166 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny by Top Critiquers Poems