Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
David_Macleod
Poem Published
Today 3:03am
Today 3:03am
Limerick Ode To TODSKI
There once was a poet called Todski
whose mind was as quick as a jet-ski
opinions on crack
would take nothing back
no prisoners taken, no mercy
It's funny the people you miss
like Todski taking the piss
he was always upfront
and up for the hunt
my opinions usually dismissed
Todski to me was a prick
I'm sure he thought me a dick
personalities clashed
we mutually bashed
and got on each other's wick
Honest and straight to the point
his anger did not disappoint
would stick to his gun
and...
whose mind was as quick as a jet-ski
opinions on crack
would take nothing back
no prisoners taken, no mercy
It's funny the people you miss
like Todski taking the piss
he was always upfront
and up for the hunt
my opinions usually dismissed
Todski to me was a prick
I'm sure he thought me a dick
personalities clashed
we mutually bashed
and got on each other's wick
Honest and straight to the point
his anger did not disappoint
would stick to his gun
and...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#admiration
19 reads
7 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
Yesterday 7:01pm
Yesterday 7:01pm
Bigger Jars
After battles, the Indian squaws
Soon castrate all the captives, because
Captured Indian braves
In defeat, become slaves
When they forfeit their cocks and their balls!
For their honor, they stoically wait
In their bonds, heads held high, standing straight
But they lose self-respect
With their cocks teased erect
By the squaws, right before they castrate!
The squaws sing as they tease, mock, and maul
With a jar for each man’s cock and balls
But one brave’s massive size
Struck them mute, mesmerized
And he...
Soon castrate all the captives, because
Captured Indian braves
In defeat, become slaves
When they forfeit their cocks and their balls!
For their honor, they stoically wait
In their bonds, heads held high, standing straight
But they lose self-respect
With their cocks teased erect
By the squaws, right before they castrate!
The squaws sing as they tease, mock, and maul
With a jar for each man’s cock and balls
But one brave’s massive size
Struck them mute, mesmerized
And he...
#BDSM
#limerick
#funny
27 reads
2 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
Yesterday 4:56pm
Yesterday 4:56pm
Slip of the Tongue
Nice to eat you", he told her when he met her,
Pausing for a second as he shook her hand,
She was stunning and impeccably dressed,
The interview might not go according to plan.
"Nice to meat you", she responded with a smile,
(She knew her inflexion and what she meant)
Feeling a warmth trickling all over her body,
But now their subconscious began to vent.
"So tell me a little bit a butt yourself?" she asked,
Interested in him but not trying to make a pass,
"Ass you can see in my resume I studied economics,
I’m proud...
Pausing for a second as he shook her hand,
She was stunning and impeccably dressed,
The interview might not go according to plan.
"Nice to meat you", she responded with a smile,
(She knew her inflexion and what she meant)
Feeling a warmth trickling all over her body,
But now their subconscious began to vent.
"So tell me a little bit a butt yourself?" she asked,
Interested in him but not trying to make a pass,
"Ass you can see in my resume I studied economics,
I’m proud...
#erotic
#funny
82 reads
3 Comments
Tenderloin
Poem Published
Yesterday 4:00pm
Yesterday 4:00pm
The Man Cold
The last expansion
obscured by days
my usual ways
curtailed
body heeding
to constant sneezing
and sandpaper throat
Dosing lemon and honey
this altered drive
cruelly excised
marking an exclusion
wanting it back
to still interact
between broken coughs
Eyes to the page
hearing the purr
desperate to stir
this unwanted repose
does little to engage
where I so often stage
a solid salute
obscured by days
my usual ways
curtailed
body heeding
to constant sneezing
and sandpaper throat
Dosing lemon and honey
this altered drive
cruelly excised
marking an exclusion
wanting it back
to still interact
between broken coughs
Eyes to the page
hearing the purr
desperate to stir
this unwanted repose
does little to engage
where I so often stage
a solid salute
#men
#funny
#WritersBlock
20 reads
2 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
Yesterday 6:23am
Yesterday 6:23am
Bewitched: Marital Impasse
Bewitched: Marital Impasse
Sam says, “Listen, I know you’re
only Darrin’s wife on TV.
But, please, tell me
those steamy kisses are all fake.”
Actress says, “Smooching with him
is like doing it with my cousin.”
Sam replies, “Your cousin is a surfer dude
built like a locomotive. So that isn’t reassuring.”
In private his real wife, Samantha, asks:
“Those kisses look pretty passionate.
Do they ever turn Frenchie?”
Darrin says, “It is all for the ratings honey.
There is no more passion...
Sam says, “Listen, I know you’re
only Darrin’s wife on TV.
But, please, tell me
those steamy kisses are all fake.”
Actress says, “Smooching with him
is like doing it with my cousin.”
Sam replies, “Your cousin is a surfer dude
built like a locomotive. So that isn’t reassuring.”
In private his real wife, Samantha, asks:
“Those kisses look pretty passionate.
Do they ever turn Frenchie?”
Darrin says, “It is all for the ratings honey.
There is no more passion...
#women
#marriage
#parody
#funny
#feminism
15 reads
4 Comments
joeborg
Poem Published
20th Sep 2019 10:16am
20th Sep 2019 10:16am
no monday chill
I just need to come to terms
Before I start writing this verse,
Still to come back to myself
Put the weekend on the shelf,
What a struggle up the hill
Monday surely is no chill,
Heave to hold my head up straight
Though its heavy as a slate,
Think I ‘b better close my eyes
See this Monday what provides.
Before I start writing this verse,
Still to come back to myself
Put the weekend on the shelf,
What a struggle up the hill
Monday surely is no chill,
Heave to hold my head up straight
Though its heavy as a slate,
Think I ‘b better close my eyes
See this Monday what provides.
#inspirational
#parody
#satirical #funny
#satirical #funny
12 reads
0 Comments
cobralips
Poem Published
19th Sep 2019 10:54pm
19th Sep 2019 10:54pm
Sativa Diva
I inhale
I exhale
Smiling
Joy
Laughter
Snacking
Dancing
I inhale
I exhale
Past life memories
Bedtime stories
Immense ideas
All in my head
Eyes blood red
I inhale
I exhale
Introvert now extrovert
Load up Ableton
Omnisphere
Switch on that OB-6
And whatever else we got for this mix
I inhale
I exhale
Smiling
Joy
Laughter
Singing
Jamming
I inhale
I exhale
I forgot what else I was going to say…
I exhale
Smiling
Joy
Laughter
Snacking
Dancing
I inhale
I exhale
Past life memories
Bedtime stories
Immense ideas
All in my head
Eyes blood red
I inhale
I exhale
Introvert now extrovert
Load up Ableton
Omnisphere
Switch on that OB-6
And whatever else we got for this mix
I inhale
I exhale
Smiling
Joy
Laughter
Singing
Jamming
I inhale
I exhale
I forgot what else I was going to say…
#happiness
#inspirational
#music
#marijuana
#funny
22 reads
1 Comment
Tallen
earth_empath
earth_empath
Poem Published
19th Sep 2019 9:53pm
19th Sep 2019 9:53pm
Not Fishin’ for Platys or Pus(s)
I know for a fact
Minxie’s cast lines and hooks
I know it’s just that
looking for fish, letters
Books
Of or and about
Her and lines and sinker
catch those effin
Platys no push or fuss
No mammal
no no no pus
or puss like a cute kitten
wet and wanting
crack is the tuna
to sing a meow
& now I am certain
You understand
this
Platypus spill
cryptic and
wish
It was something else!!!
Laugh Minx (Minxy) ...
Minxie’s cast lines and hooks
I know it’s just that
looking for fish, letters
Books
Of or and about
Her and lines and sinker
catch those effin
Platys no push or fuss
No mammal
no no no pus
or puss like a cute kitten
wet and wanting
crack is the tuna
to sing a meow
& now I am certain
You understand
this
Platypus spill
cryptic and
wish
It was something else!!!
Laugh Minx (Minxy) ...
#friendship
#animals
#funny #fish
#funny #fish
63 reads
17 Comments
dkzksaxxas_DanielX
Poem Published
19th Sep 2019 1:30pm
19th Sep 2019 1:30pm
Terpsichore for The Lite of Life
The droppings of minor vices left'over from No Time At All
into the holy toilet like not so sweet dreamettes. Products
of our best anusy assholes, attempting
to fill wholly voids so beyond folks' comprehension.
Tires balded by hard roads and long rides, piled high
wit retro-fitted amnesia as to where they've been,
brings one to some revelation brings one to some revelation
revealing moments of intense regret of all that is typically human,
moments of intense regret
moments of
...
into the holy toilet like not so sweet dreamettes. Products
of our best anusy assholes, attempting
to fill wholly voids so beyond folks' comprehension.
Tires balded by hard roads and long rides, piled high
wit retro-fitted amnesia as to where they've been,
brings one to some revelation brings one to some revelation
revealing moments of intense regret of all that is typically human,
moments of intense regret
moments of
...
#anxiety
#death
#funny
#evolution
#rebellion
39 reads
0 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
19th Sep 2019 1:02pm
19th Sep 2019 1:02pm
Win
But I'm a winner
So I used the wooden spoon
to smack their arses!
So I used the wooden spoon
to smack their arses!
#haiku
#funny
#uplifting #senryu
#uplifting #senryu
18 reads
4 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
19th Sep 2019 9:53am
19th Sep 2019 9:53am
Loss
I'm such a failure
that at the loser contest
I came in last place
that at the loser contest
I came in last place
#haiku
#funny
#senryu
22 reads
2 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
19th Sep 2019 00:25am
19th Sep 2019 00:25am
Bewitched: An Alternate Universe
Bewitched: An Alternate Universe
“Oh girl, I’ve meddled with Darrin’s pride.
He’s mad because I came up with designs
for his lingerie ads when he was stumped.
I tried to pull the thorn out of his lion’s paw
by telling him I had a closer relationship
to my underwear than he did.
You know speaking of lingerie
We should have a pajama party for just us ladies.”
Girlfriend says, “Should we invite Darrin?”
Sam says, “Only if he agrees to model lingerie.”
Girlfriend says, “He’d have to wear a jockstrap
to prevent wardrobe...
“Oh girl, I’ve meddled with Darrin’s pride.
He’s mad because I came up with designs
for his lingerie ads when he was stumped.
I tried to pull the thorn out of his lion’s paw
by telling him I had a closer relationship
to my underwear than he did.
You know speaking of lingerie
We should have a pajama party for just us ladies.”
Girlfriend says, “Should we invite Darrin?”
Sam says, “Only if he agrees to model lingerie.”
Girlfriend says, “He’d have to wear a jockstrap
to prevent wardrobe...
#women
#marriage
#parody
#funny
#feminism
72 reads
2 Comments
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