Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
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Screaming Scarecrows
Scarecrows speak a language that’s known for all to see
If you’re a flying crow you know, “Don’t mess around with me.”
I do not know how they sound, why or how this came to be
I only know it must be so, as you can see, the crows agree.
If you listen to my CD, of recorded scarecrow screams
It’ll chill your bloody bones, haunting midnight dreams
Crows will seek their refuge in trees and wooded seams
Then come back to investigate, their initial fear it seems
Listening to the screaming scarecrow through my ears of corn,
A haunting sound that...
If you’re a flying crow you know, “Don’t mess around with me.”
I do not know how they sound, why or how this came to be
I only know it must be so, as you can see, the crows agree.
If you listen to my CD, of recorded scarecrow screams
It’ll chill your bloody bones, haunting midnight dreams
Crows will seek their refuge in trees and wooded seams
Then come back to investigate, their initial fear it seems
Listening to the screaming scarecrow through my ears of corn,
A haunting sound that...
#funny
23 reads
0 Comments
hypolimnion hymn
My computer is malfunctioning again, and only the right hand keys are working. Apologies.*
i
in homophony:
nip nippily, nippy ninny;
honk honkily, homily hominy.
kink kinkily, kinky kin;
pink pinkly, pinky pin.
loop loopily, loony loon;
moo moonily, moony moon.
jump jumpily, junky junk;
pulp pulpily, punky punk.
ii
in polyphony:
minimum minion, illy illinium
opium opinion, pili pollinium.
oily noily, hoopy hoop;
jollily hollily, loopy loop.
jillion million, pipkin...
i
in homophony:
nip nippily, nippy ninny;
honk honkily, homily hominy.
kink kinkily, kinky kin;
pink pinkly, pinky pin.
loop loopily, loony loon;
moo moonily, moony moon.
jump jumpily, junky junk;
pulp pulpily, punky punk.
ii
in polyphony:
minimum minion, illy illinium
opium opinion, pili pollinium.
oily noily, hoopy hoop;
jollily hollily, loopy loop.
jillion million, pipkin...
#funny
#NaPoWriMo2024
29 reads
3 Comments
Mam'selle Villanelle
Shall we take a walk Mam'selle Villanelle,
away from the bustle of our village
across the meadows to some shady dell
far from gossip and the village church bell
and your Ma' brewing spells in her cottage,
shall we take a walk, Mam'selle Villanelle?
For curtains twitch and tongues wag where we dwell
hark' the village bell tolls for some marriage,
we'll be alone, dear, in my...shady dell.
Those bells are surely sounding love's death knell
hear that trundle of a baby carriage,
shall we walk...
away from the bustle of our village
across the meadows to some shady dell
far from gossip and the village church bell
and your Ma' brewing spells in her cottage,
shall we take a walk, Mam'selle Villanelle?
For curtains twitch and tongues wag where we dwell
hark' the village bell tolls for some marriage,
we'll be alone, dear, in my...shady dell.
Those bells are surely sounding love's death knell
hear that trundle of a baby carriage,
shall we walk...
#funny
#men
#villanelle
23 reads
0 Comments
Too Good To Be True
She was the hue of twilight in summer,
the hills rolled before her
like the sea before Moses.
The eternal goddess of my soul.
And then,
she spelled Thursday,
with an “F”
the hills rolled before her
like the sea before Moses.
The eternal goddess of my soul.
And then,
she spelled Thursday,
with an “F”
#funny
#love
#regret
33 reads
2 Comments
True Story
True Story
#childhood
#school
#funny
1058 reads
4 Comments
Clownish
Tears of a clown
Blood red droplets
Trickle down
On a deathly white face
The smile
Fixed, and somewhat surreal
With a nose
Like one of Santa's reindeer
(without the antlers)
Baggy trousers
Sagging ambitions
The reward sought for
A smile
But sometimes fear
As the smile
Becomes a grimace
A snarl
Accompanied by maniacal laughter
That echoes
As though from the pits of hell
Fearsome, and nightmarish
Then the inevitable scream
I run to escape
Then suddenly realise
That this...
Blood red droplets
Trickle down
On a deathly white face
The smile
Fixed, and somewhat surreal
With a nose
Like one of Santa's reindeer
(without the antlers)
Baggy trousers
Sagging ambitions
The reward sought for
A smile
But sometimes fear
As the smile
Becomes a grimace
A snarl
Accompanied by maniacal laughter
That echoes
As though from the pits of hell
Fearsome, and nightmarish
Then the inevitable scream
I run to escape
Then suddenly realise
That this...
#fear
#funny
#surreal
22 reads
0 Comments
Missed It By this Much
What is a deadline,
but an imaginary construct
devised by aristocracy.
to keep the peasants busy.
Personally I enjoy them.
I thrill at the pressure
of cutting them fine.
So much so
that I do it all the time.
Just for fun I’ll miss one.
Maybe intentionally stumble
and let it pass
Or procrastinate on purpose,
and hang back awhile
Just to show I’m humble…
like the rank and file.
But I do it with style
and Cheshire Cat smile
So, I did some etymology
On it’s sobering origin
Now, I think I’ll...
but an imaginary construct
devised by aristocracy.
to keep the peasants busy.
Personally I enjoy them.
I thrill at the pressure
of cutting them fine.
So much so
that I do it all the time.
Just for fun I’ll miss one.
Maybe intentionally stumble
and let it pass
Or procrastinate on purpose,
and hang back awhile
Just to show I’m humble…
like the rank and file.
But I do it with style
and Cheshire Cat smile
So, I did some etymology
On it’s sobering origin
Now, I think I’ll...
#funny
#happiness
#NaPoWriMo2024
#rhyming
#ThrillSeeking
42 reads
3 Comments
Tempting Mary
#funny
79 reads
11 Comments
A mile wide and an inch deep
A kaleidoscope refracting upon the panonrama
Causing immediate catastrophic deterioration
Of the optic sensory while creating rays of gamma
Intensifying and stupefying to a climax
Leading to temporary discomfort and irritation
Culminating with involuntary squinting attacks
What the fuck are you taking about?
The sun was in my eyes.
Causing immediate catastrophic deterioration
Of the optic sensory while creating rays of gamma
Intensifying and stupefying to a climax
Leading to temporary discomfort and irritation
Culminating with involuntary squinting attacks
What the fuck are you taking about?
The sun was in my eyes.
#funny
#satirical
57 reads
8 Comments
Hangover
Why did I not stay in my bed?
I went out instead
Now I recall why I did not stay
It reminded me of an epitaph of long ago days
I had oh so many
Too much to count
Suffering now
with this damn cotton mouth.
Who said the sun could rise
so bright in here
The last couple of days was
cloudy and fair.
Is your head supposed to beat like that
It was that last mixture of Honey Jack
I think my stomach wants to get in
rather, I want to throw out
What! I don't know.
Why did I shout.
I am just going...
I went out instead
Now I recall why I did not stay
It reminded me of an epitaph of long ago days
I had oh so many
Too much to count
Suffering now
with this damn cotton mouth.
Who said the sun could rise
so bright in here
The last couple of days was
cloudy and fair.
Is your head supposed to beat like that
It was that last mixture of Honey Jack
I think my stomach wants to get in
rather, I want to throw out
What! I don't know.
Why did I shout.
I am just going...
#funny
70 reads
4 Comments
Dragon Slayed
#funny
29 reads
12 Comments
Faerie's Visit
A whispered word
On a naughty breeze
Playful and joyful
Trying to please
Come to me
What did it say
I wanted to relax
On this sweet spring day
Come to me
There it was again
Insistent
Not to hard
Like an old friend
Come–To–Me
Louder it came
Drips with sweet
Molasses from
Sugar cane
I rose to my feet
Not...
On a naughty breeze
Playful and joyful
Trying to please
Come to me
What did it say
I wanted to relax
On this sweet spring day
Come to me
There it was again
Insistent
Not to hard
Like an old friend
Come–To–Me
Louder it came
Drips with sweet
Molasses from
Sugar cane
I rose to my feet
Not...
#funny
53 reads
11 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry