Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
JohnnyBlaze
Poem Published
Today 3:15pm
Today 3:15pm
[ Of Power And Rings ] Legacy
Monstrous minions
often mimic their masters;
are quite disasterous at being unique
though Free Willed despite
lowest form of which to speak
---wight venturing forth
from Barrow-downs at night
to the highest
---Witch-King of Angmar
Lord of the Nazgul
inspiring terrible fright
And let us not forget
the Dark Enemy, Sauron
who found it convenient
to impersonate Morgoth
until realization settled in
he was cheating himself
out of one nation
under his Eye
wreathed in fire
and...
often mimic their masters;
are quite disasterous at being unique
though Free Willed despite
lowest form of which to speak
---wight venturing forth
from Barrow-downs at night
to the highest
---Witch-King of Angmar
Lord of the Nazgul
inspiring terrible fright
And let us not forget
the Dark Enemy, Sauron
who found it convenient
to impersonate Morgoth
until realization settled in
he was cheating himself
out of one nation
under his Eye
wreathed in fire
and...
#funny
#NaPoWriMo2021
9 reads
2 Comments
Solomon_Song
Poem Published
Today 6:00am
Today 6:00am
COULD YOU CONTAIN...
#erotic
#rhyming
#funny #sensual
#funny #sensual
61 reads
0 Comments
PoetSpeak
Poem Published
11th Apr 2021 11:36pm
11th Apr 2021 11:36pm
Shower of Sin
I'm going to take a shower
Wash away my valley of sins
Might be in there for awhile
Why don't you join me
Make it a 2 for1
Good time saver too
You know what happens when you drop the soap
Get it on
Get it in
Pray for redemption
Clean up
Shampoo
With you
Like
BIG LIKE
Wash away my valley of sins
Might be in there for awhile
Why don't you join me
Make it a 2 for1
Good time saver too
You know what happens when you drop the soap
Get it on
Get it in
Pray for redemption
Clean up
Shampoo
With you
Like
BIG LIKE
#funny
#redemption
#morality
50 reads
16 Comments
Bluevelvete
Poem Published
11th Apr 2021 7:30pm
11th Apr 2021 7:30pm
a bit of spring cleaning. (a stream of consciousness extravaganza)
My brow furrows
I don't get it
(I never quite get it!.)
The promise of sunshine
of tomorrow's hopes
Always, it seems—
it's tomorrow.
When sometimes all I really need
is a little bit of today
There's timing
and how it's never right.
is it ever?
Friends, families
Those pressures
so uniquely difficult
putting upon
pressing down
and forever changing.
Hours spent trying to reconcile
Logistics and specifics,
it all equals less sleep ...
I don't get it
(I never quite get it!.)
The promise of sunshine
of tomorrow's hopes
Always, it seems—
it's tomorrow.
When sometimes all I really need
is a little bit of today
There's timing
and how it's never right.
is it ever?
Friends, families
Those pressures
so uniquely difficult
putting upon
pressing down
and forever changing.
Hours spent trying to reconcile
Logistics and specifics,
it all equals less sleep ...
#hope
#dark
#LifeStruggles
#funny
#StreamOfConsciousness
61 reads
24 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
11th Apr 2021 3:43pm
11th Apr 2021 3:43pm
The First Coo Coos Of Spring!
Yahoo! Pigeon poo
Who could ask for more?
Spending a lazy Sunday afternoon
Scrapings away galore
But this time they're not guilty
For the leaking's in the flat just below
Puddles on the BalconY
With nowhere to easily flow
So have cancelled out the Pigeon Pie
Despite their messy habits woe
But i may well go slightly Cuckoo
If my Balconies rivers don't flow
This is a true story
Of my plight
On this day 11th April
Spent scraping up Pigeon shi/poo!
by Jemia
Who could ask for more?
Spending a lazy Sunday afternoon
Scrapings away galore
But this time they're not guilty
For the leaking's in the flat just below
Puddles on the BalconY
With nowhere to easily flow
So have cancelled out the Pigeon Pie
Despite their messy habits woe
But i may well go slightly Cuckoo
If my Balconies rivers don't flow
This is a true story
Of my plight
On this day 11th April
Spent scraping up Pigeon shi/poo!
by Jemia
#birds
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
5 reads
0 Comments
James_A_Knight
Poem Published
11th Apr 2021 2:44pm
11th Apr 2021 2:44pm
Give them all a Gun
Give them all a gun
Show them how to have fun
Give a sick teenager a gun
Watch him become a man
Give a mother a gun
Let her protect her young
Give a senile old man a gun
Give a scared old woman a gun
Give a nun a gun
Give a broken teacher a gun
Let them teach with a loaded gun
Give a thief a gun
Give a chief a gun
Load it and cock it and shoot it and drop it
Give a idiot a gun
Give a genius a gun
Give a dog a gun
Let them all have a gun
Let them all have fun
Show them how to have fun
Give a sick teenager a gun
Watch him become a man
Give a mother a gun
Let her protect her young
Give a senile old man a gun
Give a scared old woman a gun
Give a nun a gun
Give a broken teacher a gun
Let them teach with a loaded gun
Give a thief a gun
Give a chief a gun
Load it and cock it and shoot it and drop it
Give a idiot a gun
Give a genius a gun
Give a dog a gun
Let them all have a gun
Let them all have fun
#dark
#GunControl
#funny
24 reads
1 Comment
Gahddess_Worship
Poem Published
10th Apr 2021 5:41am
10th Apr 2021 5:41am
Music Passion Four
Pop Rock
The dresser top radio blares
610 KFRC!
Morning! Up and at ‘em!
dad coaxes patiently.
“Ahhh do a little dance,
make a little love,
get down tonight”
ten year old self
sings along
It’s all about the upbeat mood
not the lyrics of the song
popular music was the way
I made it through
my grammar school day
Fanfare drum beats
sweet keyboard sounds
The Spinners pose my question
“Could it be I’m falling in love?”
belly tingles with the suggestion
Mary, my second grade sweetheart ...
The dresser top radio blares
610 KFRC!
Morning! Up and at ‘em!
dad coaxes patiently.
“Ahhh do a little dance,
make a little love,
get down tonight”
ten year old self
sings along
It’s all about the upbeat mood
not the lyrics of the song
popular music was the way
I made it through
my grammar school day
Fanfare drum beats
sweet keyboard sounds
The Spinners pose my question
“Could it be I’m falling in love?”
belly tingles with the suggestion
Mary, my second grade sweetheart ...
#happiness
#music
#funny
#passion
#NaPoWriMo2021
30 reads
2 Comments
SukiSpangles
Poem Published
9th Apr 2021 3:32pm
9th Apr 2021 3:32pm
Breaking News
so although he will not receive a telegram from the queen for reaching 100..
in 1988 the prince said this
“In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, to contribute something to solving overpopulation.”
time to put three masks on your face..
let the sycophantic poetry/tv news begin..
tributes will pour in..
in 1988 the prince said this
“In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, to contribute something to solving overpopulation.”
time to put three masks on your face..
let the sycophantic poetry/tv news begin..
tributes will pour in..
#power
#parody
#satirical
#funny
#humankind
17 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Apr 2021 1:33am
9th Apr 2021 1:33am
Dreams of Bowie!
another Bowie dream last night? we were mooching around old Londinium, with photographers everywhere, that were almost as interested in me, as they were David (we're on first name terms in dreamworld!) for some obscure reason, we ended up in a solicitors office, where they happened to have a small cocktail cabinet. where the solicitor was helping David do some secret research into something, neither she, nor David told me what? i popped out for a joint, and when i came back in, they both looked a bit frustrated, as they hadn't made any ground, there were piles of files, and paperwork...
#dreams
#funny
#surreal
14 reads
0 Comments
Penguinphile
Poem Published
7th Apr 2021 6:17pm
7th Apr 2021 6:17pm
End
Everything has an end...
only the sausage has two.
(A German Proverb)
And Dildos
only the sausage has two.
(A German Proverb)
And Dildos
#funny
#philosophical
22 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Apr 2021 5:48pm
7th Apr 2021 5:48pm
A Strange Tale, And An Even Stranger Tail (although curiously, there are no tales of tails?)
A Strange Tale, And An Even Stranger Tail
(although curiously, there are no tales of tails?)
in a land
far far far away
lived a little tiny, incey wincey
hoojamawatchamacallitthingamybob
that spent all day
prancing
to scared of heights
to climb trees
and burrowing down holes
gave him the heebeejeebees
and when out walking in rough grass
worried about tripping over clods and such like
he couldn't swim, or paddle
so was scared of the sea
even though he lived inland
he refused to fly
even though he had...
(although curiously, there are no tales of tails?)
in a land
far far far away
lived a little tiny, incey wincey
hoojamawatchamacallitthingamybob
that spent all day
prancing
to scared of heights
to climb trees
and burrowing down holes
gave him the heebeejeebees
and when out walking in rough grass
worried about tripping over clods and such like
he couldn't swim, or paddle
so was scared of the sea
even though he lived inland
he refused to fly
even though he had...
#dreams
#funny
#surreal
13 reads
0 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
6th Apr 2021 10:47pm
6th Apr 2021 10:47pm
Caffeine Chasity
Caffeine Chasity
“That caffeinated concoction
Left me jittery. At the risk
Of incurring your lambast
I’m going into caffeine abstinence.”
She replies, “Sounds like a Catholic
Means of insomnia control.”
“I am chaste when it comes to caffeine.”
“Only with caffeine?”
“Also with white bread.”
“Touche. But why don’t you
Put sugar in your coffee?”
“The sugar overwhelms the flavor
Of the coffee.”
“So does the milk you swamp it with.”
“The atmosphere of this place
Is all I need for sweetener.”
“What keeps ...
“That caffeinated concoction
Left me jittery. At the risk
Of incurring your lambast
I’m going into caffeine abstinence.”
She replies, “Sounds like a Catholic
Means of insomnia control.”
“I am chaste when it comes to caffeine.”
“Only with caffeine?”
“Also with white bread.”
“Touche. But why don’t you
Put sugar in your coffee?”
“The sugar overwhelms the flavor
Of the coffee.”
“So does the milk you swamp it with.”
“The atmosphere of this place
Is all I need for sweetener.”
“What keeps ...
#women
#men
#coffee
#funny
#crush
21 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
