Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
crowfly
Poem Published
Today 7:10pm
Today 7:10pm
Where She Is Today
I wonder where she is today
My vicious former love
She may be there in Hell to stay
Not in the arms of Lord above
She devoured all my heart
Each morsel down her throat
She ripped my fragile world apart
And then that smile became a gloat
If I seem angry, so be it
My memory does burn
I will endeavor not to keep it lit
Or wish her cremains in an urn.
My vicious former love
She may be there in Hell to stay
Not in the arms of Lord above
She devoured all my heart
Each morsel down her throat
She ripped my fragile world apart
And then that smile became a gloat
If I seem angry, so be it
My memory does burn
I will endeavor not to keep it lit
Or wish her cremains in an urn.
#anger
#funny
20 reads
12 Comments
DeathWarmedOver
Poem Published
Today 4:47am
Today 4:47am
The Crush
#love
#lust
#sex
#funny
#EatingDisorder
86 reads
1 Comment
Tardegrade
Poem Published
Yesterday 1:02pm
Yesterday 1:02pm
Spells like mean spirit
Load up on puns, and zing your friends
It's fun to play and then to win
ArienellJones and Snugglebuck
Oh no, I know just rhymed with fuck
Yelluw, JusTim_, Eerie, Yolo
How do, you know, how to, def flo?
I know, how low, I'd go, to know
Fellow, follow, Yelluw
With some wite-out, I'm less dangerous
Punderstanding, is less heinous
I'm with stupid... ignoramus
All alone...ow, rode the short bus
I'm mistreated, and Miss Tree-did, and mystery-dead, my Mist reeded
Yeah, hay
The worse puns what...
It's fun to play and then to win
ArienellJones and Snugglebuck
Oh no, I know just rhymed with fuck
Yelluw, JusTim_, Eerie, Yolo
How do, you know, how to, def flo?
I know, how low, I'd go, to know
Fellow, follow, Yelluw
With some wite-out, I'm less dangerous
Punderstanding, is less heinous
I'm with stupid... ignoramus
All alone...ow, rode the short bus
I'm mistreated, and Miss Tree-did, and mystery-dead, my Mist reeded
Yeah, hay
The worse puns what...
#parody
#funny
31 reads
7 Comments
PooSmoothie69
Poem Published
Yesterday 11:43am
Yesterday 11:43am
Give it a sniff
Come on mate,
Don’t be a bore,
Take a deep inhale,
and ask for more.
There’s a little bit of Bovril,
most of it’s just raw egg,
A slight twinge of death,
Some if it’s rotting veg’
I’m not asking you to like it,
I’m just asking you to have a wiff,
come on mate,
just give it a f*****g sniff.
Don’t be a bore,
Take a deep inhale,
and ask for more.
There’s a little bit of Bovril,
most of it’s just raw egg,
A slight twinge of death,
Some if it’s rotting veg’
I’m not asking you to like it,
I’m just asking you to have a wiff,
come on mate,
just give it a f*****g sniff.
#parody
#funny
4 reads
0 Comments
Naajir
Poem Published
21st Mar 2019 5:58pm
21st Mar 2019 5:58pm
Jerkology 101: A Red Pill For The Ladies
there he sits every night
eyes in a funky haze...glazed...
grazing over your poetry
he swears he can taste your pussy
through his laptop
he finally lost it when he read
one of your more explicit eroticas
even threw his skid marked undies at the screen
now he sits in a t-shirt and no drawers
with pen in one hand his penis in the other
jerking off to your vocabulary
scribbling juvenile incoherence
muttering your name in patterns...
eyes in a funky haze...glazed...
grazing over your poetry
he swears he can taste your pussy
through his laptop
he finally lost it when he read
one of your more explicit eroticas
even threw his skid marked undies at the screen
now he sits in a t-shirt and no drawers
with pen in one hand his penis in the other
jerking off to your vocabulary
scribbling juvenile incoherence
muttering your name in patterns...
#LifeStruggles
#funny
#dirty
74 reads
6 Comments
johnnyscarlotti
Poem Published
20th Mar 2019 11:53pm
20th Mar 2019 11:53pm
cooking class
#dark
#funny
27 reads
0 Comments
JusTim_
Poem Published
20th Mar 2019 9:04pm
20th Mar 2019 9:04pm
Happy Hour
~
Tim went to the doc with pain in his rear
walked with a limp and was "loaded" with fear
doc hemmed then he hawed
amazed what he saw
stashed deep in Tim's ass were two pints of beer
°
#limerick
#funny
34 reads
30 Comments
Greywolfman
Poem Published
20th Mar 2019 7:58pm
20th Mar 2019 7:58pm
Scene In A Bar
Now, some among you will wonder no doubt,
What this little verse could be all about.
The story I'll tell will make it all clear.
You've nothing to do, but to lend me an ear.
We'll use as our hero some guy in a bar.
You know the type, you needn't look far.
He's dressed to the nines, the latest in style.
He's calm, unobtrusive. You can spot him a mile.
He watches the scene. He looks at the mix.
He spots competition. He studies his picks.
You women all know your being inspected,
But your interest in men, you keep undetected. ...
What this little verse could be all about.
The story I'll tell will make it all clear.
You've nothing to do, but to lend me an ear.
We'll use as our hero some guy in a bar.
You know the type, you needn't look far.
He's dressed to the nines, the latest in style.
He's calm, unobtrusive. You can spot him a mile.
He watches the scene. He looks at the mix.
He spots competition. He studies his picks.
You women all know your being inspected,
But your interest in men, you keep undetected. ...
#lust
#funny
#sexy
28 reads
0 Comments
crowfly
Poem Published
20th Mar 2019 7:07pm
20th Mar 2019 7:07pm
Psychotic
He contemplates the carving knife
Just as she gets in the shower
His mother says to take her life
At this late and dreary hour
He gets into masquerade
Wearing the maternal clothes
Most restraint begins to fade
As latent aggression grows
But the beauty washes off her sins
And he then withholds the blade
His sense of decency begins
As he mimics a motel maid
He returns to mother dear
And lays her on the ancient bed
It has become precisely clear
That she...
Just as she gets in the shower
His mother says to take her life
At this late and dreary hour
He gets into masquerade
Wearing the maternal clothes
Most restraint begins to fade
As latent aggression grows
But the beauty washes off her sins
And he then withholds the blade
His sense of decency begins
As he mimics a motel maid
He returns to mother dear
And lays her on the ancient bed
It has become precisely clear
That she...
#scary
#funny
50 reads
15 Comments
JusTim_
Poem Published
20th Mar 2019 10:32am
20th Mar 2019 10:32am
A Little Levity and more
Painting by numbers always started with one, when I got to you I knew I was done
....screech.....stop right there...... remember I told you stop the cheesy rhyme...no you didn't...well I meant to
Humour has a way about things
lifting weights off our troubles
even if only for a moment in time
a relief, a comfort to alleviate pain
it borders on lunacy, I'm clearly insane
Man helping man in an hour of need
throwing fear to the wayside as well as his greed
Don't ever give up hope
as she sits on a shelf way up high ...
....screech.....stop right there...... remember I told you stop the cheesy rhyme...no you didn't...well I meant to
Humour has a way about things
lifting weights off our troubles
even if only for a moment in time
a relief, a comfort to alleviate pain
it borders on lunacy, I'm clearly insane
Man helping man in an hour of need
throwing fear to the wayside as well as his greed
Don't ever give up hope
as she sits on a shelf way up high ...
#love
#butterfly
#funny
#humankind
#myself
44 reads
12 Comments
Sky_dancer
Poem Published
20th Mar 2019 00:52am
20th Mar 2019 00:52am
How I Got Accidentally Stoned (A Comedy) PtI Prologue
#drugs
#funny
#confessional
52 reads
17 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
