Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
GP01
Gerardo P.
Gerardo P.
Poem Published
Today 6:27pm
Today 6:27pm
Detached
At some point his mind left
His body or
So he liked to believe.
Poor fool...
Locked inside the tiled stove.
'Do not disturb me, children!'
Unsupervised, bizarre games
Flourished.
His body or
So he liked to believe.
Poor fool...
Locked inside the tiled stove.
'Do not disturb me, children!'
Unsupervised, bizarre games
Flourished.
#dreams
#funny
#philosophical
1 read
0 Comments
Seed
Poem Published
Today 3:27pm
Today 3:27pm
Miracles Never Cease
Movie night at home
I take the bag of popcorn
Out of the microwave
Pinch the edges and pull
Watch the steam rise
Pour into a bowl
And there she was,
The Madonna,
Among the kernels
And the puffed starch
The mother of Jesus
In my bowl
I should have shrined it off
Charged admission to pilgrims
That would come from far and wide
But I had a movie to watch
And in truth,
As far as salt and butter was concerned,
She really didn’t wear it that well.
A picnic in the park
On a sunny Saturday ...
I take the bag of popcorn
Out of the microwave
Pinch the edges and pull
Watch the steam rise
Pour into a bowl
And there she was,
The Madonna,
Among the kernels
And the puffed starch
The mother of Jesus
In my bowl
I should have shrined it off
Charged admission to pilgrims
That would come from far and wide
But I had a movie to watch
And in truth,
As far as salt and butter was concerned,
She really didn’t wear it that well.
A picnic in the park
On a sunny Saturday ...
#funny
4 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
Today 10:47am
Today 10:47am
Attishoo!
during times of plague, i wonder if peeps said 'bless you' when someone sneezed! or (circa june 2015)
attishoo! attishoo! bless you
then we all dropped down dead
whilst ring-a-ring-a-roses
lay echoing in our head
a tissue a tissue
a tissue for my nose
don't want a ringing
around a bloody rose
next time someone sneezes
think of their diseases
as they fly through the air
instead of a blessing
a "fuck you!" seems fair
attishoo! attishoo! bless you
then we all dropped down dead
whilst ring-a-ring-a-roses
lay echoing in our head
a tissue a tissue
a tissue for my nose
don't want a ringing
around a bloody rose
next time someone sneezes
think of their diseases
as they fly through the air
instead of a blessing
a "fuck you!" seems fair
#funny
#illness
1 read
0 Comments
Scolar37
Scott Millar
Scott Millar
Poem Published
Yesterday 9:02pm
Yesterday 9:02pm
This Is Not A Poem
This Is Not A Poem
This might sound like a poem
But I promise you its not
It's just a collection of words
That I very nearly forgot...
They were lying scattered around
In a huge jumbled up collection
So I brought them over here
Obviously for their own protection..
Words like combobulate
And others like rudimental
Bombardier and persecuted
And sad ones like sentimental...
Why are they lying around I wondered?
Are they the start of something great?
Or are they just disregarded off cuts? ...
This might sound like a poem
But I promise you its not
It's just a collection of words
That I very nearly forgot...
They were lying scattered around
In a huge jumbled up collection
So I brought them over here
Obviously for their own protection..
Words like combobulate
And others like rudimental
Bombardier and persecuted
And sad ones like sentimental...
Why are they lying around I wondered?
Are they the start of something great?
Or are they just disregarded off cuts? ...
#funny
11 reads
0 Comments
Northern_Soul
-Missy-
-Missy-
Poem Published
Yesterday 10:15am
Yesterday 10:15am
I think you’ll find I am not a spill, Sir
Listen
I’m over the ‘s’ word
implying only
that these lines
were accidents
that this poem flowed
with purpose and grace,
filtering itself until pure
there’s no river here;
not even a damn pond
I don’t pour majestically
from babbling brooks of dreams,
paddling half-heartedly
in the shallow pools of cynicism
neither should I be compared
to dry rice
milk
a loose shit
on the way out—
I want my words
to strike the Earth
like a wet lamb ...
I’m over the ‘s’ word
implying only
that these lines
were accidents
that this poem flowed
with purpose and grace,
filtering itself until pure
there’s no river here;
not even a damn pond
I don’t pour majestically
from babbling brooks of dreams,
paddling half-heartedly
in the shallow pools of cynicism
neither should I be compared
to dry rice
milk
a loose shit
on the way out—
I want my words
to strike the Earth
like a wet lamb ...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#myself
#frustration
#WritingPoetry
44 reads
13 Comments
Solomon_Song
Poem Published
Yesterday 5:55am
Yesterday 5:55am
SEXY FUN WITH HOMOPHONES AND PUNCTUATION
Did the earth move for you two?
Did the earth move for you, too?
She likes to do the 'koala bear'.
She likes to do the 'koala' bare.
She bore me a son
She bore me, a son.
She was transfixed by my size.
She was transfixed by my sighs.
He would get hard, then we would make love.
He would get hard then, we would make love.
Did the earth move for you, too?
She likes to do the 'koala bear'.
She likes to do the 'koala' bare.
She bore me a son
She bore me, a son.
She was transfixed by my size.
She was transfixed by my sighs.
He would get hard, then we would make love.
He would get hard then, we would make love.
#sex
#funny
27 reads
5 Comments
Scolar37
Scott Millar
Scott Millar
Poem Published
19th Jan 2021 6:17pm
19th Jan 2021 6:17pm
Opportunity Knocks
Opportunity Knocks...
This door is open but I darent go through it
For it isnt a door in a wall?
This door is a trap door
That if I enter I guess I will fall?
And its not very inviting,
Instead it poses a threat...
Not sure if I'm keen to see
With whom I'm gonna be met...
So I'll stay here on this side
For this side feels safe and secure..
Not every door that opens
Is an opportunity for sure!
This openings dark,
Theres no light shining through...
No sunshine encouraging me, ...
This door is open but I darent go through it
For it isnt a door in a wall?
This door is a trap door
That if I enter I guess I will fall?
And its not very inviting,
Instead it poses a threat...
Not sure if I'm keen to see
With whom I'm gonna be met...
So I'll stay here on this side
For this side feels safe and secure..
Not every door that opens
Is an opportunity for sure!
This openings dark,
Theres no light shining through...
No sunshine encouraging me, ...
#funny
8 reads
0 Comments
Scolar37
Scott Millar
Scott Millar
Poem Published
19th Jan 2021 8:58am
19th Jan 2021 8:58am
Angry Bird
Angry Bird
A duck was swimming past me
She wanted to reach the sea
But in her way lay many obstacles
And one of them was me,
Move out my way she whacked at me
I want to leave this cold land!
So I moved a few twigs, I moved a few branches,
But the duck she just snapped at my hand?
Dont you need any help? I yelled
I'm just trying to make your path clear,
So nothing can prevent you from flying off
And you can get right out of here!
I'm not an invalid the duck quickly replied
As she angrily went on her way, ...
A duck was swimming past me
She wanted to reach the sea
But in her way lay many obstacles
And one of them was me,
Move out my way she whacked at me
I want to leave this cold land!
So I moved a few twigs, I moved a few branches,
But the duck she just snapped at my hand?
Dont you need any help? I yelled
I'm just trying to make your path clear,
So nothing can prevent you from flying off
And you can get right out of here!
I'm not an invalid the duck quickly replied
As she angrily went on her way, ...
#funny
13 reads
2 Comments
Scolar37
Scott Millar
Scott Millar
Poem Published
19th Jan 2021 8:56am
19th Jan 2021 8:56am
The Broken Bicuit Repair Shop
The broken biscuit repair shop
I can't quite understand it?
The staff are all fingers and thumbs
Ok I get it, there's loads of work
In reconstructing broken crumbs
And yes I know it must be frustrating
Seperating the chocolate from the cream
But someone's got to do it!
It's a chocoholics dream.......!
Maybe if they weren't so fragile
Or if they were made of stronger stuff
There would be no broken biscuit repair shop
No crumbs in the pigs feeding trough...
The staff would be unemployed
There fingers...
I can't quite understand it?
The staff are all fingers and thumbs
Ok I get it, there's loads of work
In reconstructing broken crumbs
And yes I know it must be frustrating
Seperating the chocolate from the cream
But someone's got to do it!
It's a chocoholics dream.......!
Maybe if they weren't so fragile
Or if they were made of stronger stuff
There would be no broken biscuit repair shop
No crumbs in the pigs feeding trough...
The staff would be unemployed
There fingers...
#funny
10 reads
0 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
18th Jan 2021 8:37pm
18th Jan 2021 8:37pm
The Four Year Shitshow and The Great Toilet Paper Shortage: A Review *WARNING*
(An Editorial Commentary with Walter’s Alter Ego…
…Wally, sit your brown ass down and let me address this now
Dear reader, this is an EXTREME CONTENT WARNING and it’s a bit comic
So if you have a sensitive stomach or a vivid imagination
The sick shit I’m about to spit, it might just make you vomit
Got Damn that presidency was a complete and total clusterfuck
That administration was a revolving door for a four-year full on orgy
A bunch in that political party got rawdogged and cummed on
Those motherfuckers were so nasty, it even disgusted...
…Wally, sit your brown ass down and let me address this now
Dear reader, this is an EXTREME CONTENT WARNING and it’s a bit comic
So if you have a sensitive stomach or a vivid imagination
The sick shit I’m about to spit, it might just make you vomit
Got Damn that presidency was a complete and total clusterfuck
That administration was a revolving door for a four-year full on orgy
A bunch in that political party got rawdogged and cummed on
Those motherfuckers were so nasty, it even disgusted...
#anger
#corruption
#politics
#funny
#frustration
44 reads
10 Comments
eightmore
Poem Published
18th Jan 2021 6:56pm
18th Jan 2021 6:56pm
Monday Morning Meeting
#sex
#funny
52 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Jan 2021 5:25pm
17th Jan 2021 5:25pm
Knickers
Ive got frilly ones
lily ones
and downright silly ones
Holey ones
moley ones
and cheeky holy moley ones
Pink ones, blue ones
and not to
misconstrue ones
Purple ones
white ones
and some to give a fright ones
Red ones
in bed ones
and some on my head ones! (don't ask!)
After a few quick flickers
i counted 35 pairs of knickers
(some have still got their stickers)
And why are they called a pair?
when there is only one knicker there
it's not like socks........
lily ones
and downright silly ones
Holey ones
moley ones
and cheeky holy moley ones
Pink ones, blue ones
and not to
misconstrue ones
Purple ones
white ones
and some to give a fright ones
Red ones
in bed ones
and some on my head ones! (don't ask!)
After a few quick flickers
i counted 35 pairs of knickers
(some have still got their stickers)
And why are they called a pair?
when there is only one knicker there
it's not like socks........
#funny
#surreal
14 reads
2 Comments
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