Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
missjem56
Poem Published
Today 2:25am
Today 2:25am
Aiming To Please
I once
Knew a girl
Called
Siv
I asked
If she wanted
To play
She replied
"Yes please!"
"Thank you,
"S'il vous plait
Thankfully
She was
Merciful
by Jemia
Knew a girl
Called
Siv
I asked
If she wanted
To play
She replied
"Yes please!"
"Thank you,
"S'il vous plait
Thankfully
She was
Merciful
by Jemia
#relationships
#funny
#gratitude
7 reads
0 Comments
Kinkpoet
Poem Published
Yesterday 6:10pm
Yesterday 6:10pm
Things We All Doo (but rarely express) (or Thoughts On The Throne)
this witty
little ditty
emerged
while seated
on the
Open-Faced Throne
while moaning and
groaning
birthing
enormous steamy brown logs
my mind wandered
to this strange
concoction of words
this amalgamation
this abomination
it was starting
while farting
fragrant fecal vapors
then an inkling
while tinkling
amber droplets falling like crystals
into fouled waters
i apologize while burping
for...
little ditty
emerged
while seated
on the
Open-Faced Throne
while moaning and
groaning
birthing
enormous steamy brown logs
my mind wandered
to this strange
concoction of words
this amalgamation
this abomination
it was starting
while farting
fragrant fecal vapors
then an inkling
while tinkling
amber droplets falling like crystals
into fouled waters
i apologize while burping
for...
#LifeStruggles
#funny
38 reads
5 Comments
randyjohnson
Poem Published
Yesterday 4:18pm
Yesterday 4:18pm
Pink Hair
Wherever my neighbor goes, people stare.
They can't look away because of his neck and pink hair.
When he goes out in public, people constantly point and laugh.
It's because of his hair and because he has the neck of a giraffe.
His hair offends some men and they challenge him to fights.
My neighbor always wins because he claws, kicks and bites.
He's looking for another job because when he dyed his hair pink, he got fired.
He needs money to feed his 600 pound wife and he is desperate to be hired.
His obese wife eats so much food that the grocery stores...
They can't look away because of his neck and pink hair.
When he goes out in public, people constantly point and laugh.
It's because of his hair and because he has the neck of a giraffe.
His hair offends some men and they challenge him to fights.
My neighbor always wins because he claws, kicks and bites.
He's looking for another job because when he dyed his hair pink, he got fired.
He needs money to feed his 600 pound wife and he is desperate to be hired.
His obese wife eats so much food that the grocery stores...
#food
#fiction
#funny
20 reads
0 Comments
DaVinci_07
Leo
Leo
Poem Published
16th Oct 2021 11:29pm
16th Oct 2021 11:29pm
Spooky with a Booty
That time of year
When spooky can be naughty.
The only fright
losing my sight.
Fear, anxiety, horror, spine-chilling, nightmares
Not the reaction from
Lace, fishnets, push-up, low-cut, spandex and lipstick
Wow! look at that derriere!
That booty so nice
Oh, those lanterns
Memory for a jack
Pondering do they taste
like pumpkin spice.
What is spooky,
can the tiniest material
contain that firm booty
She without a care
sipping Halloween cocktails
I’m trying not to stare
...
When spooky can be naughty.
The only fright
losing my sight.
Fear, anxiety, horror, spine-chilling, nightmares
Not the reaction from
Lace, fishnets, push-up, low-cut, spandex and lipstick
Wow! look at that derriere!
That booty so nice
Oh, those lanterns
Memory for a jack
Pondering do they taste
like pumpkin spice.
What is spooky,
can the tiniest material
contain that firm booty
She without a care
sipping Halloween cocktails
I’m trying not to stare
...
#lust
#Halloween
#funny #luck
#funny #luck
58 reads
7 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
16th Oct 2021 8:15pm
16th Oct 2021 8:15pm
Worth Her While
#BDSM
#rhyming
#funny
10 reads
5 Comments
Heart_of_Stone
Poem Published
16th Oct 2021 5:37pm
16th Oct 2021 5:37pm
Credit cards need love too
does it ever bother you that I'm insane
like there's something wrong inside my brain
it's just gotta be a drain
one moment I'm frozen tundra
the next, we're burning in fun-duh
how amazing you've lasted a week
first I'm meek
then I'm sleek
all the while I freak
maybe you just like my cheeks
have you ever just loved my cranium
I have more in my head than geraniums
there's deeper meaning than the gymnasium
let me show you with my uranium
but first take me shopping to the emporium
like there's something wrong inside my brain
it's just gotta be a drain
one moment I'm frozen tundra
the next, we're burning in fun-duh
how amazing you've lasted a week
first I'm meek
then I'm sleek
all the while I freak
maybe you just like my cheeks
have you ever just loved my cranium
I have more in my head than geraniums
there's deeper meaning than the gymnasium
let me show you with my uranium
but first take me shopping to the emporium
#love
#funny
#MentalHealth #consumerism
#MentalHealth #consumerism
30 reads
4 Comments
I_IS_ME
Poem Published
15th Oct 2021 7:16pm
15th Oct 2021 7:16pm
FSA
Have you ever been in a situation whereas you're the only one not in on the joke. Some time ago I had two close friends file for and receive a divorce. I was totally unprepared for this because in my mind they were the perfect couple. They had what I considered that glow, they shined when they were together. In some ways I was jealous of their relationship, but in others I was just happy for them. Somethings in life just aren't supposed to be, and evidently they weren't supposed to remain together, But my curiosity had been peaked, everytime that I asked someone why did they split up? People...
#funny
#ShortStory
24 reads
0 Comments
Bon_Mot
Poem Published
13th Oct 2021 5:49pm
13th Oct 2021 5:49pm
A kink in mid-magic show
#sex
#satirical
#funny
24 reads
3 Comments
Heart_of_Stone
Poem Published
13th Oct 2021 00:22am
13th Oct 2021 00:22am
Demons that purr
hiding from myself
like some pitiful elf
poor timid me
drinking herbal tea
filled with burning lava
maybe I need more kava
strutting my cojones
but they're just phon'ae's
and all that's left is meek
my fear does reek
the feral demon inside
is just a kitten that sighed
but stand aside
for my timid has died
my inner demons' now vetted
and demands to be petted
.
or else
like some pitiful elf
poor timid me
drinking herbal tea
filled with burning lava
maybe I need more kava
strutting my cojones
but they're just phon'ae's
and all that's left is meek
my fear does reek
the feral demon inside
is just a kitten that sighed
but stand aside
for my timid has died
my inner demons' now vetted
and demands to be petted
.
or else
#funny
#SelfDiscovery
#SelfWorth
51 reads
7 Comments
Bluevelvete
Poem Published
12th Oct 2021 11:01am
12th Oct 2021 11:01am
The obscurity of lavender wishes
Permanently damaged
that tender underbelly
of cosmic purity
rots away
diseased by a singular gesture
to a final wish
to blow up the ground
of multi-colored
or another
and then the night
breath is not predestined
but the way
of her mouth
and even more
then can be found
The very ones whose love
is withheld,
now are the only...
that tender underbelly
of cosmic purity
rots away
diseased by a singular gesture
to a final wish
to blow up the ground
of multi-colored
or another
and then the night
breath is not predestined
but the way
of her mouth
and even more
then can be found
The very ones whose love
is withheld,
now are the only...
#technology
#fate
#funny
#art
#surreal
68 reads
14 Comments
Casted_Runes
Turpin
Turpin
Poem Published
12th Oct 2021 10:57am
12th Oct 2021 10:57am
Queer Theology (I)
I’ve come to believe
that straight men with cute butts
are illusions of the father of lies,
like dinosaur bones,
and single mums.
that straight men with cute butts
are illusions of the father of lies,
like dinosaur bones,
and single mums.
#gay
#science
#religion #funny
#religion #funny
33 reads
2 Comments
Spanker
Poem Published
12th Oct 2021 1:37am
12th Oct 2021 1:37am
Basket
My old cane laundry basket
I’ve had for eons
And still in good nick
I gave it a gentle rub
And thanked it, as I do
I said, “Well-done old basket”
It said, “You’re the basket”
I agreed, just to keep the peace
I’ve had for eons
And still in good nick
I gave it a gentle rub
And thanked it, as I do
I said, “Well-done old basket”
It said, “You’re the basket”
I agreed, just to keep the peace
#kindness
#funny
#MentalHealth #gratitude
#MentalHealth #gratitude
24 reads
1 Comment
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
