Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
talking_mirrors
Poem Published
Yesterday 00:50am
Yesterday 00:50am
American History
It’s okay to gang-up on someone and poke fun at their style, until they come back even stronger, and then claim ‘em to always hate, when all that person was doing was putting a hypocrite in their place.
Peace and prosperity to all; even though they’re taking secrets to the grave, and won’t have out in the open how they’ve fucked people over.
Peace and prosperity to all; even though they’re taking secrets to the grave, and won’t have out in the open how they’ve fucked people over.
#funny
#philosophical
10 reads
Scattered_Thoughts
ST
ST
Poem Published
Yesterday 6:58pm
Yesterday 6:58pm
None so blind
What I said was
“never saw it coming”
believing every word
Shell-shocked, brittle, broken
berating the blind eye
for not giving a heads up
before the shit-show started
Gallagher style
and me without a slicker
But wait ...what?
So who then purged
of empty space and matches
weeks, then days, before
the hammer fell
(on what, my head?)
Bitch, please.
Seems an apology owed
like the one received
for ...oh,nothing
because Denial?
Nailed it.
“never saw it coming”
believing every word
Shell-shocked, brittle, broken
berating the blind eye
for not giving a heads up
before the shit-show started
Gallagher style
and me without a slicker
But wait ...what?
So who then purged
of empty space and matches
weeks, then days, before
the hammer fell
(on what, my head?)
Bitch, please.
Seems an apology owed
like the one received
for ...oh,nothing
because Denial?
Nailed it.
#funny
#memories
12 reads
1 Comment
Naajir
Poem Published
Yesterday 2:31pm
Yesterday 2:31pm
Nerdy Chicks
#lust
#women
#science
#funny
#dirty
91 reads
4 Comments
Mikey
Poem Published
Yesterday 10:42am
Yesterday 10:42am
Whose in my Bag?
Long dead Fred,
said to his niece,
(more recently deceased)
whose toes are these?
they're to little to be me.
said to his niece,
(more recently deceased)
whose toes are these?
they're to little to be me.
#dark
#funny
11 reads
0 Comments
Naajir
Poem Published
19th Jul 2019 7:26pm
19th Jul 2019 7:26pm
Always More
a magnificent mind
a metaphorical tongue and
a masterful penis
what more
could a girl ask for?
more...of course
a metaphorical tongue and
a masterful penis
what more
could a girl ask for?
more...of course
#lust
#women
#sex
#funny
#TruthOfLife
87 reads
4 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
19th Jul 2019 5:32pm
19th Jul 2019 5:32pm
No Pants Subway Ride
People are bold for going out in the cold,
Showing their assets and assessories,
(Just go with it)
As they assess as much as they can,
Revealing all the titillating mysteries.
This asinine assonance assures me in as much,
(Or better yet is ascertains)
That assimilation in the masses is acceptable,
Even when assiduousness is set aside,
People assert their aspects as perceptible.
It takes assertive individuals to participate,
In this astonishing, astounding and sassy act,
Don’t assume but rather ask why this assembly,
What aspires...
Showing their assets and assessories,
(Just go with it)
As they assess as much as they can,
Revealing all the titillating mysteries.
This asinine assonance assures me in as much,
(Or better yet is ascertains)
That assimilation in the masses is acceptable,
Even when assiduousness is set aside,
People assert their aspects as perceptible.
It takes assertive individuals to participate,
In this astonishing, astounding and sassy act,
Don’t assume but rather ask why this assembly,
What aspires...
#funny
#WritingPoetry
21 reads
1 Comment
Ragnar
Poem Published
19th Jul 2019 1:50pm
19th Jul 2019 1:50pm
Gotta Love Kids
Conversation with my son this morning .....
Me: Check our that Moon buddy!
Logan: That's big !
Me: The cow jumped over the moon! Ha Hahaha!
That would be one heck of jump right!?
Logan: Cows can't jump so that's not even real.
Me: I know it's just a joke bud.
Logan: So, if I'm a baby cow and Ryder is a baby cow, you are a daddy cow, a bull and mom is mommy cow
Me: Ummmmm.....
Logan, hear me clearly on this one.... If you value your existence and your ability to be able to walk and breathe without any...
Me: Check our that Moon buddy!
Logan: That's big !
Me: The cow jumped over the moon! Ha Hahaha!
That would be one heck of jump right!?
Logan: Cows can't jump so that's not even real.
Me: I know it's just a joke bud.
Logan: So, if I'm a baby cow and Ryder is a baby cow, you are a daddy cow, a bull and mom is mommy cow
Me: Ummmmm.....
Logan, hear me clearly on this one.... If you value your existence and your ability to be able to walk and breathe without any...
#children
#funny
#fatherhood
25 reads
8 Comments
talking_mirrors
Poem Published
19th Jul 2019 10:25am
19th Jul 2019 10:25am
Dumbstruck
Apparently, this poet isn’t allowed to come out
and do a spoken word
Competitors looked at the “Anna Grin Horcrux” work
wishing I was plagiarist
but the fact remains I wrote the verse
I don’t mind solitude and just existing
as you know what “live” is spelt backwards
the same as “love”
But here I fly while you try
and pull me down to chain me up
I’m not a rapper
it was either level-up and practicing rhyming
like Eminem on paper, sense you prick?
That “prose” or just rhyme the only word
at the end of them...
and do a spoken word
Competitors looked at the “Anna Grin Horcrux” work
wishing I was plagiarist
but the fact remains I wrote the verse
I don’t mind solitude and just existing
as you know what “live” is spelt backwards
the same as “love”
But here I fly while you try
and pull me down to chain me up
I’m not a rapper
it was either level-up and practicing rhyming
like Eminem on paper, sense you prick?
That “prose” or just rhyme the only word
at the end of them...
#fire
#funny
#Britain
#nonfiction
#DeepUndergroundPoetry
28 reads
RexDurkin
Poem Published
19th Jul 2019 9:49am
19th Jul 2019 9:49am
A Gigolo Story
#love
#erotic
#funny
#dirty
#sexy
90 reads
2 Comments
Naajir
Poem Published
18th Jul 2019 6:33pm
18th Jul 2019 6:33pm
Royal Rumble
fuuuuck
this is some real live bullshit
got a bunch of poems
fussin and fightin in my head
looks like a goddamn food fight in
the cafeteria of my brain
throwin ideas all over the place
flinging whatever they think is gonna stick
to my cerebral walls
everybody tryin to skip the line yellin
ME FIRST...ME FIRST!!!
selfish as fuck
they got no chill...nor do they need any
cuz they all know my deepest secret
that i'm really
a closeted masochist
and i totally love it when art becomes
divinely torturous...
this is some real live bullshit
got a bunch of poems
fussin and fightin in my head
looks like a goddamn food fight in
the cafeteria of my brain
throwin ideas all over the place
flinging whatever they think is gonna stick
to my cerebral walls
everybody tryin to skip the line yellin
ME FIRST...ME FIRST!!!
selfish as fuck
they got no chill...nor do they need any
cuz they all know my deepest secret
that i'm really
a closeted masochist
and i totally love it when art becomes
divinely torturous...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
61 reads
7 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
18th Jul 2019 6:10pm
18th Jul 2019 6:10pm
Haunted
I don't believe in ghosts
but last night something strange occurred
I was lying in my bed
when all of a sudden I heard
A creepy voice whisper to me
In a tone that felt like ice
“Shoosh now little Rexy
This is gonna be nice”
That’s when I felt a long hard shaft
slapping me in the face
I cried “ Ah, leave me alone you feind
be gone from this place!”
'Twas then that I couldn't move
must have been a muscle spasm
Then I past out but when I awoke
my face was covered in ectoplasm
...
but last night something strange occurred
I was lying in my bed
when all of a sudden I heard
A creepy voice whisper to me
In a tone that felt like ice
“Shoosh now little Rexy
This is gonna be nice”
That’s when I felt a long hard shaft
slapping me in the face
I cried “ Ah, leave me alone you feind
be gone from this place!”
'Twas then that I couldn't move
must have been a muscle spasm
Then I past out but when I awoke
my face was covered in ectoplasm
...
#rhyming
#funny
#ghosts
#nightmares
#quatrain
31 reads
4 Comments
jenjames
Poem Published
18th Jul 2019 7:51am
18th Jul 2019 7:51am
Alone and Mad
I know you wish
I could just...
Fall in line
Keep my mouth shut
and
not speak my mind
And I would if I could
But,
Words sit on the tip of my tongue
And...
Maybe if my face wouldn't show my my emotions
You would have missed that
uninterested nod,
while you was pandering that
BULLSHIT
Maybe if I held back my opinions
when asked...
I wouldn't be in bed Alone
And you wouldn't have went home
Mad!
I could just...
Fall in line
Keep my mouth shut
and
not speak my mind
And I would if I could
But,
Words sit on the tip of my tongue
And...
Maybe if my face wouldn't show my my emotions
You would have missed that
uninterested nod,
while you was pandering that
BULLSHIT
Maybe if I held back my opinions
when asked...
I wouldn't be in bed Alone
And you wouldn't have went home
Mad!
#relationships
#LifeStruggles
#funny #honesty
#funny #honesty
68 reads
3 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
