Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
Pete82
Poem Published
Today 8:21am
Today 8:21am
Here's The Recipe
PREP: 5 Minutes
COOK: 9 Months
SERVES: 2
INGREDIENTS
1 Male, preferably good looking
2 Tablespoons of sperm or a generous helping
1 Female, in season
1 Egg
METHOD...
Grab yourself
A set of scales
Two spoons of
Spunky males
Add in the
Ripe females
Give it a stir
It never fails
NEXT...
Pre-heat your oven
Take a seat
Stir halfway
From head to feet
Full term
Looks just right
Juices flow
Hand gripped tight
and...
COOK: 9 Months
SERVES: 2
INGREDIENTS
1 Male, preferably good looking
2 Tablespoons of sperm or a generous helping
1 Female, in season
1 Egg
METHOD...
Grab yourself
A set of scales
Two spoons of
Spunky males
Add in the
Ripe females
Give it a stir
It never fails
NEXT...
Pre-heat your oven
Take a seat
Stir halfway
From head to feet
Full term
Looks just right
Juices flow
Hand gripped tight
and...
#funny
10 reads
0 Comments
the5thRiddler
Poem Published
Today 7:42am
Today 7:42am
Gangsters talking too much, not enough killing
Took a whole crowd to make that “fuck you” more powerful?
But there’s a like for your mental illness, yet still doubt a fool
It’s best I don’t read everyone
they’re just a nuisance man
like a hero, I call him Superprank
But there’s a like for your mental illness, yet still doubt a fool
It’s best I don’t read everyone
they’re just a nuisance man
like a hero, I call him Superprank
#funny
11 reads
the5thRiddler
Poem Published
Yesterday 11:03pm
Yesterday 11:03pm
....
Not inspired by sentences of tits and pussy
neither like football, cars and beer
neither like football, cars and beer
#funny
10 reads
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
Yesterday 6:39pm
Yesterday 6:39pm
Corona Virus is a Crisis
Corona virus is a crisis?
Worse than Influenza-A?
Don’t trust the bias news folk buy us
Cable news and old cliches!
This ain’t the plague, make no mistake
Except, for what “They” make of it
While congress fakes are on the take
And hide the crimes that they commit
They shot the wad on pork and fraud
To make us think they care for us
As we applaud the news facade
Of scofflaws who are treasonous!
The swamp exposed—our world explodes!
They’ve mobilized the whole deep-state!
Trump struck a nerve, must be...
Worse than Influenza-A?
Don’t trust the bias news folk buy us
Cable news and old cliches!
This ain’t the plague, make no mistake
Except, for what “They” make of it
While congress fakes are on the take
And hide the crimes that they commit
They shot the wad on pork and fraud
To make us think they care for us
As we applaud the news facade
Of scofflaws who are treasonous!
The swamp exposed—our world explodes!
They’ve mobilized the whole deep-state!
Trump struck a nerve, must be...
#corruption
#politics
#funny #rebellion
#funny #rebellion
23 reads
0 Comments
brokentitanium
Poem Published
Yesterday 3:57am
Yesterday 3:57am
Hypochondriac
I feel a tickle in my chest –
Oh no! I better take a rest.
My stomach feels a little sore;
I better have one cookie more.
Is that a sniffle? Oh dear me!
It’s time to lie and watch TV.
A funny ache down in my back -
Best watch a movie, eat a snack.
Now, what if my sore knee’s a sign?!
I think I’ll sit here ‘til I’m fine.
My lips are chapped! I must be doomed!
Best stay here safely in my room.
I’m lonely and my hands are raw.
My plan for safety has one flaw;
If covid doesn’t come to kill,
Imagination surely will!
Oh no! I better take a rest.
My stomach feels a little sore;
I better have one cookie more.
Is that a sniffle? Oh dear me!
It’s time to lie and watch TV.
A funny ache down in my back -
Best watch a movie, eat a snack.
Now, what if my sore knee’s a sign?!
I think I’ll sit here ‘til I’m fine.
My lips are chapped! I must be doomed!
Best stay here safely in my room.
I’m lonely and my hands are raw.
My plan for safety has one flaw;
If covid doesn’t come to kill,
Imagination surely will!
#anxiety
#funny
#illness
34 reads
12 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
4th Apr 2020 5:36pm
4th Apr 2020 5:36pm
Never Missed a Beat
quatern
My girlfriend never missed a beat
Nor ever tried to make amends
For taunting me with voice so sweet
She mocked my sex before her friends
To harshly criticize my loins
My girlfriend never missed a beat
For my machismo, to destroy
And pride of manhood, to defeat
With public gropes so indiscreet
She’d grab my crotch while people stared
My girlfriend never missed a beat
To then announce, “There’s not much there!”
With sexy sighs and coos galore
Satirical between the sheets
Her domination, I...
My girlfriend never missed a beat
Nor ever tried to make amends
For taunting me with voice so sweet
She mocked my sex before her friends
To harshly criticize my loins
My girlfriend never missed a beat
For my machismo, to destroy
And pride of manhood, to defeat
With public gropes so indiscreet
She’d grab my crotch while people stared
My girlfriend never missed a beat
To then announce, “There’s not much there!”
With sexy sighs and coos galore
Satirical between the sheets
Her domination, I...
#BDSM
#rhyming
#funny
50 reads
2 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
4th Apr 2020 3:58pm
4th Apr 2020 3:58pm
Band Camp
a story, in verse
It was band camp day one when my troubles begun
She played flute for a school way down south
And her “talents” were stunning, displayed in the sun
Flicking tongue and a cute puckered mouth
It was band camp day two when my lechery grew
As she marched in tight shorts and a halter
I imagined my “flute” was the one that she blew
And that night I began to sweet-talk her
It was band camp day three when she dressed to catch me
And she set me on fire like a match
With her skin-tight capris that were sheer...
It was band camp day one when my troubles begun
She played flute for a school way down south
And her “talents” were stunning, displayed in the sun
Flicking tongue and a cute puckered mouth
It was band camp day two when my lechery grew
As she marched in tight shorts and a halter
I imagined my “flute” was the one that she blew
And that night I began to sweet-talk her
It was band camp day three when she dressed to catch me
And she set me on fire like a match
With her skin-tight capris that were sheer...
#BDSM
#rhyming
#funny #revenge
#funny #revenge
42 reads
1 Comment
RexDurkin
Poem Published
4th Apr 2020 10:15am
4th Apr 2020 10:15am
Chill out Man
Do as I say,
Not assiduity
Not assiduity
#funny
#philosophical
#wisdom
16 reads
1 Comment
FromTheAsh
Poem Published
3rd Apr 2020 2:59pm
3rd Apr 2020 2:59pm
causing a disturbance
you know I love my cats
but for you they all scatter
in full recognition
they're in the presence of a true alpha
and that I become restless in your embrace
the gentle caresses to which they're accustomed
bestowed instead upon you
while I lavish your being
with all my energy
they watch
envious
as you experience my giving touch
saturating you in my love
tangling blankets & dampening sheets
fevered breathing
punctuated
by howls & moans
limbs akimbo
or gripping tight
until...
but for you they all scatter
in full recognition
they're in the presence of a true alpha
and that I become restless in your embrace
the gentle caresses to which they're accustomed
bestowed instead upon you
while I lavish your being
with all my energy
they watch
envious
as you experience my giving touch
saturating you in my love
tangling blankets & dampening sheets
fevered breathing
punctuated
by howls & moans
limbs akimbo
or gripping tight
until...
#cats
#funny
#lover
#passion
#NaPoWriMo2020
75 reads
5 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
3rd Apr 2020 00:55am
3rd Apr 2020 00:55am
Castratrix Work Song
#BDSM
#rhyming
#funny #revenge
#funny #revenge
76 reads
1 Comment
Pete82
Poem Published
1st Apr 2020 6:47am
1st Apr 2020 6:47am
Flush!
I've taken your shit
You take the piss
Bloody men...
You aim, still miss
Skiddy marks
And urine stains
Down the pan
Flushing chains
I've seen your arse
You blocked my passage
Condoms and wipes
Have caused me damage
Next time you visit
Give me a clean
Give it ten minutes
If HE has been!
You take the piss
Bloody men...
You aim, still miss
Skiddy marks
And urine stains
Down the pan
Flushing chains
I've seen your arse
You blocked my passage
Condoms and wipes
Have caused me damage
Next time you visit
Give me a clean
Give it ten minutes
If HE has been!
#satirical
#funny
26 reads
0 Comments
RexDurkin
Poem Published
30th Mar 2020 8:14pm
30th Mar 2020 8:14pm
Asphixi-wank
#sex
#porn
#funny #boredom
#funny #boredom
146 reads
0 Comments
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