Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#funny
funny seeking friendly advice poems. Friendly advice and comments have been requested for these poems.
ChocoLaaTTe
Poem Published
5th May 2024 8:41am
5th May 2024 8:41am
There's Chocolate in Heaven
Here lies ChocoLaaTTe
No big deal of a few molars
In the end we all rot the same
It's not because I ate too much
(chocolate)
Here I may lay
But in heaven
Most likely eating
(More chocolate)
No big deal of a few molars
In the end we all rot the same
It's not because I ate too much
(chocolate)
Here I may lay
But in heaven
Most likely eating
(More chocolate)
#dark
#funny
57 reads
8 Comments
Pinkdreams
Poem Published
5th May 2024 7:37am
5th May 2024 7:37am
The Phlebotomist's F You T-Shirt
I know the world has gotten more casual,
but a middle-aged stern-faced phlebotomist in a t-shirt?
This surprises me.
And not just any t-shirt.
This one is that dull brownish red color
sometimes referred to as oxblood
It features big, deep, gothic dripping letters
clearly spelling out the words
Fuck You
Her demeanor
matches the shirt
Her only words to me: Make a fist
And so I do..
Then she stabs me
Nothing
She stabs me again
Nothing
"Are...
but a middle-aged stern-faced phlebotomist in a t-shirt?
This surprises me.
And not just any t-shirt.
This one is that dull brownish red color
sometimes referred to as oxblood
It features big, deep, gothic dripping letters
clearly spelling out the words
Fuck You
Her demeanor
matches the shirt
Her only words to me: Make a fist
And so I do..
Then she stabs me
Nothing
She stabs me again
Nothing
"Are...
#evil
#funny
74 reads
13 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd May 2024 1:55pm
3rd May 2024 1:55pm
Out For A Duck
I
T
h
o
u
g
h
t
T
h
e
r
e
f
o
r
e
I quack!
by Jemia
T
h
o
u
g
h
t
T
h
e
r
e
f
o
r
e
I quack!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #satirical
#philosophical #satirical
24 reads
0 Comments
Pinkdreams
Poem Published
3rd May 2024 4:23am
3rd May 2024 4:23am
Senryju
never bat mitzvahed
I wish I could do it now
want gifts and money
Hot corned beef sandwich
rye bread with razor sharp crusts
schmear of good mustard
the real bagels are boiled
not just round bread with a hole
that's for the goyim
Jewish Meetup group
it's the unchosen people
best to just stay home
boring Hannukah
all good gifts saved for Christmas
extreme reformed Jews
i like Yiddish words
bissel kvetch meshuggeneh
mystery to most
very...
I wish I could do it now
want gifts and money
Hot corned beef sandwich
rye bread with razor sharp crusts
schmear of good mustard
the real bagels are boiled
not just round bread with a hole
that's for the goyim
Jewish Meetup group
it's the unchosen people
best to just stay home
boring Hannukah
all good gifts saved for Christmas
extreme reformed Jews
i like Yiddish words
bissel kvetch meshuggeneh
mystery to most
very...
#funny
#religion
50 reads
4 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st May 2024 7:22pm
1st May 2024 7:22pm
Dis, And Dat!
Dis, And Đạt
I solved it!
That thing about
Disinformation
It's a typo
And mispronounced
Dis-meaning 'this'
And information
As it is
There then follows
In my thinking
'Dat' information
Which means
That information
Which is of course different
To did information
Unless the dat
Came before the dis
It all becomes a bit chicken, and eggish
Maybe, just maybe
Ive been misinformed
About dis, and dat?
by Jemia
I solved it!
That thing about
Disinformation
It's a typo
And mispronounced
Dis-meaning 'this'
And information
As it is
There then follows
In my thinking
'Dat' information
Which means
That information
Which is of course different
To did information
Unless the dat
Came before the dis
It all becomes a bit chicken, and eggish
Maybe, just maybe
Ive been misinformed
About dis, and dat?
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
16 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
30th Apr 2024 00:58am
30th Apr 2024 00:58am
Wombatty
The life, and times of a Womblebat
Half Womble, half bat
Underground
Overground
And also the belfry
Womble, large hairy things
Yeti like
Bats, Small skinny things
Mouse like, with wings
How they came to mate
Is currently unknown
But it has been suggested
That a lone wolf Womble
Wandered into a local church
Drank a few bottles of communion wine
Then took a fancy
To a bat
And thus
After an unknown period of time
The first Wombat was born
No further information
Is currently available
All...
Half Womble, half bat
Underground
Overground
And also the belfry
Womble, large hairy things
Yeti like
Bats, Small skinny things
Mouse like, with wings
How they came to mate
Is currently unknown
But it has been suggested
That a lone wolf Womble
Wandered into a local church
Drank a few bottles of communion wine
Then took a fancy
To a bat
And thus
After an unknown period of time
The first Wombat was born
No further information
Is currently available
All...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
29 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Apr 2024 2:17pm
29th Apr 2024 2:17pm
Wink Wink Wine
Eyelashes
so long
Seagulls could nest on them
Eyelashes
so wide
That dolphins could dive of them
Eyelashes
so thick
That they had the intelligence
To peel a grape, and turn it into wine!
by Jemia
so long
Seagulls could nest on them
Eyelashes
so wide
That dolphins could dive of them
Eyelashes
so thick
That they had the intelligence
To peel a grape, and turn it into wine!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#surreal
30 reads
0 Comments
adagio
Poem Published
28th Apr 2024 11:15pm
28th Apr 2024 11:15pm
In Cahoots
Small town, Cahoots, Mississippi. A burb near Tupelo. My shift was over. I, being a police officer, Rollin Field Jr. It was 2:30 AM. The temperature and humidity stifling. Driving my assigned cruiser into the gravel driveway of our tiny two-bedroom doublewide trailer bungalow. Parking behind a rusted old Volkswagen dune buggy. Hitting the blue lights to let Mimi, my wife, know to start the bacon. Bacon was a code word, meaning to put the Pop-Tarts in the toaster.
Opening the car door, the Queen of Rock, Tina Turner was screaming. "Big wheel keep on turnin'. Ooh, the...
Opening the car door, the Queen of Rock, Tina Turner was screaming. "Big wheel keep on turnin'. Ooh, the...
#erotic
#funny
131 reads
4 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Apr 2024 3:48pm
28th Apr 2024 3:48pm
Emma Pavlova
Emma Pavlova
Nearly always
Ran hot, and cold
She was lovely
And not very old
On her 90th birthday
She was given
A basket of fruit
She got fruity with a 70 year old
That she found quite cute
Their romance
Was short lived
As Emma moved to Spain
Her lover meanwhile
Dated a walnut
Somewhat nutty, and declared insane
Emma Pavlove, was always lovely
I delight every time i meet her
Although when i do
I can't resist
The temptation
Of wanting to eat her
She filled both...
Nearly always
Ran hot, and cold
She was lovely
And not very old
On her 90th birthday
She was given
A basket of fruit
She got fruity with a 70 year old
That she found quite cute
Their romance
Was short lived
As Emma moved to Spain
Her lover meanwhile
Dated a walnut
Somewhat nutty, and declared insane
Emma Pavlove, was always lovely
I delight every time i meet her
Although when i do
I can't resist
The temptation
Of wanting to eat her
She filled both...
#food
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#love
#surreal
21 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
27th Apr 2024 2:11pm
27th Apr 2024 2:11pm
Bats In The Belfry?
I awoke this morning
With a start
To a cacophony of croaking noises
And upon opening my eyes
Was shocked, and surprised
To find my bedroom
Full of frogs
Which seemed to of escaped
From a large cardboard box
It was at this moment
I had a dim realisation
And super awareness
That i was completely bomkers
In fact as mad
As a March hare....
by Jemia
With a start
To a cacophony of croaking noises
And upon opening my eyes
Was shocked, and surprised
To find my bedroom
Full of frogs
Which seemed to of escaped
From a large cardboard box
It was at this moment
I had a dim realisation
And super awareness
That i was completely bomkers
In fact as mad
As a March hare....
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
28 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
23rd Apr 2024 11:09am
23rd Apr 2024 11:09am
Mam'selle Villanelle
Shall we take a walk Mam'selle Villanelle,
away from the bustle of our village
across the meadows to some shady dell
far from gossip and the village church bell
and your Ma' brewing spells in her cottage,
shall we take a walk, Mam'selle Villanelle?
For curtains twitch and tongues wag where we dwell
hark' the village bell tolls for some marriage,
we'll be alone, dear, in my...shady dell.
Those bells are surely sounding love's death knell
hear that trundle of a baby carriage,
shall we walk...
away from the bustle of our village
across the meadows to some shady dell
far from gossip and the village church bell
and your Ma' brewing spells in her cottage,
shall we take a walk, Mam'selle Villanelle?
For curtains twitch and tongues wag where we dwell
hark' the village bell tolls for some marriage,
we'll be alone, dear, in my...shady dell.
Those bells are surely sounding love's death knell
hear that trundle of a baby carriage,
shall we walk...
#funny
#men
#villanelle
37 reads
0 Comments
Inkplay
Poem Published
22nd Apr 2024 8:57pm
22nd Apr 2024 8:57pm
Too Good To Be True
She was the hue of twilight in summer,
the hills rolled before her
like the sea before Moses.
The eternal goddess of my soul.
And then,
she spelled Thursday,
with an “F”
the hills rolled before her
like the sea before Moses.
The eternal goddess of my soul.
And then,
she spelled Thursday,
with an “F”
#funny
#love
#regret
43 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
