deepundergroundpoetry.com
black
black black black
every thing is darkened black
black black black
such a deathly color
black black black
makes a place to hide
black black black
hides in darkness
black black black
my whole world is black
black black black
follow me into it
black black black
darkness follow me
every thing is darkened black
black black black
such a deathly color
black black black
makes a place to hide
black black black
hides in darkness
black black black
my whole world is black
black black black
follow me into it
black black black
darkness follow me
Published 16th Mar 2011
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16th Mar 2011 11:31pm
I feel that this piece could use a little more substance. There are only 27 words that are not "black," and 23 which are. In addition, while repetition is an excellent stylistic tool, I think "black black black" every other line is a bit too much, and the reader may actually lose some of the impact of the lines in between.
17th Mar 2011 8:02pm
yah this is the only poem i've done with so much repition. i'm most likly not going to do another this way
