Trapped

A horrible start in life
yet I still had hope
Now im an adult
Who can't find a way to cope  
 
Every minute of every day
I seem to fall apart  
progress doesnt matter
I end up right back at the start  
 
I care then I don't care
I try then i quit
As a child I dreamed of more in life
But it feels like this is it  
 
Cant get my mind together
So I'm stuck within this loop
Hard to make a choice
When you're guided by a group  
 
A crowd of voices in my head
Fighting to be heard
Trying to be the loudest
Means I cant hear every word  
 
Like a high school cafeteria  
A drone of background sound
I need a place to find some quiet
There is none to be found  
 
Im a prisoner in my head
To parts of me that I created
When I couldn't survive without them
But it's time that they vacated  
 
They're trapped at a space in time
They haven't ever grown  
Im trying to move on in life  
They won't leave me alone  
 
I have no strength to fight  
Im in the spectators seat
As day after fucking day
It plays out on repeat  
 
Im so grateful for these parts of me because they made it possible to live. But now these same parts are making it impossible to live.