deepundergroundpoetry.com
this is a dying poem
we can only hope
the mess
calling themselves
your parents, mentioned
that you're dying
yes, we all end up dead
some people
stay married through it
others don't
some do it
holding hands with love
others never experience
the emotion
there will be those
who dance through it
while many will
never have heard
the music
move their body
you'll find the types
who consume knowledge
and those
who couldn't care less
the ones whose names are
forever embedded in books
and the ones
who don't even appear
on grave stones
some people will pretend
it's not true
as their eyelids close, breathing
across time zones,
tropics, and the equator
if in their mess, they forgot
I'll be the messenger
that let's you know
you're dying
and the best you can hope for
is that you don't come back
to die it again
-once is surely enough
Written by
RevolutionAL
(Alistair Plint)
Published 10th May 2022
Author's Note
Been working on this one for a while. Some inspo for finishing it came after seeing the film, The Professor.
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 14
reading list entries 11
comments 21
reads 554
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. this is a dying poem
10th May 2022 1:17pm
Considering it's the one thing that truly unifies us, it's curious that it's also the thing we tend not to accept...
I love the way this unfolds, how you hit us with the fact right up front and then gently bring us back around to it at the end. And all the variations of life in the middle... well, all our troubles seem a bit irrelevant, don't they, since we all end up in the same state in the end...
I find it comforting.
Thanks for a good dose of perspective this morning.
❤️k
I love the way this unfolds, how you hit us with the fact right up front and then gently bring us back around to it at the end. And all the variations of life in the middle... well, all our troubles seem a bit irrelevant, don't they, since we all end up in the same state in the end...
I find it comforting.
Thanks for a good dose of perspective this morning.
❤️k
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
11th May 2022 9:52am
Hello
Thank you for the glorious magic of connection. I love connection!
It's always warming to the soul.
I'm grateful to you for taking the time to read it, but more so for saying the words you said. I'm pleased it brought comfort. I think the metaphor here was seen that way in the writing of it.
Thank uou for being the stellar writer / reader / commentator that you are and of course for RL. A blessing!
Blue Skies at you
Al
Thank you for the glorious magic of connection. I love connection!
It's always warming to the soul.
I'm grateful to you for taking the time to read it, but more so for saying the words you said. I'm pleased it brought comfort. I think the metaphor here was seen that way in the writing of it.
Thank uou for being the stellar writer / reader / commentator that you are and of course for RL. A blessing!
Blue Skies at you
Al
Re. this is a dying poem
10th May 2022 3:19pm
I really like the way your poem flowed and circled back to the beginning... or well the end so to say. Digging the write.
LJ
LJ
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
11th May 2022 9:54am
Hello
Oh thank you so much for that and noticing the circling in it. I do appreciate that being noticed.
Thank you for everything, the RL and especially just for being here!
Blue Skies at you
Al
Oh thank you so much for that and noticing the circling in it. I do appreciate that being noticed.
Thank you for everything, the RL and especially just for being here!
Blue Skies at you
Al
Re. this is a dying poem
10th May 2022 9:35pm
Hello
I choked up a bit reading this. I think that’s why I took my time to comment on it. There’s a very human edge to this piece that you can’t help but be captivated by.
Let’s face it. Death is hard. Fucking hard. To think about. To experience. To deal with. I think it’s something that needs talking about more often to be honest. I guess I’ve had my own mortality scares.
I’m probably a bit too emotional to comment properly on the content, but I think it says a lot that it effected me in quite an unsettling way. And maybe that’s the success of this piece.
Thank you for sharing this one.
-M
I choked up a bit reading this. I think that’s why I took my time to comment on it. There’s a very human edge to this piece that you can’t help but be captivated by.
Let’s face it. Death is hard. Fucking hard. To think about. To experience. To deal with. I think it’s something that needs talking about more often to be honest. I guess I’ve had my own mortality scares.
I’m probably a bit too emotional to comment properly on the content, but I think it says a lot that it effected me in quite an unsettling way. And maybe that’s the success of this piece.
Thank you for sharing this one.
-M
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
11th May 2022 9:56am
Hello Missy Miss
What more could I ask for. But that it effected you in some way and you saw the metaphor and that it spoke to you. What more could I ask for.
Thank you so so very much!
Blue Skies at you
Al
What more could I ask for. But that it effected you in some way and you saw the metaphor and that it spoke to you. What more could I ask for.
Thank you so so very much!
Blue Skies at you
Al
Re. this is a dying poem
11th May 2022 4:03am
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
11th May 2022 9:57am
Very much, who needs more than once?
Thank you for popping in Robert, and for leaving your thoughts!
Al
Re. this is a dying poem
11th May 2022 8:58pm
Hi, Al!
I, too, love the way your poem enfolded, but I was hooked from the title. Great diction. I love it's simplicity! Well done, Al as usual!
Just me,
Faith
I, too, love the way your poem enfolded, but I was hooked from the title. Great diction. I love it's simplicity! Well done, Al as usual!
Just me,
Faith
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
11th May 2022 11:33pm
Thank you my friend.
Extremely grateful to you, for your time, for your mind and some things I can't pen right at the moment.
Just thank you. So so much!
Al -x-
Extremely grateful to you, for your time, for your mind and some things I can't pen right at the moment.
Just thank you. So so much!
Al -x-
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
12th May 2022 8:53am
Hi, again!
You are a true pleasure to read as well as a treasured friend. I love your style, genuineness and how unique your work is. So happy our paths crossed many years ago and that you're still here.
Faith x
You are a true pleasure to read as well as a treasured friend. I love your style, genuineness and how unique your work is. So happy our paths crossed many years ago and that you're still here.
Faith x
1
Re. this is a dying poem
12th May 2022 3:34am
Hi Al,
I do love this title. Just such a statement. But I feel that this poem will live amigo.
That is the thing with poems. If we choose they will be here forever. Especially in this digital age.
Can you imagine someone reading this well after we are gone. Just something I thought about as I was fixing to
comment on your piece.
I can see how it affected you writing this - and the reader. It is an undeniable fact.
We all do die. I did enjoy the stages you put in each section. Wedding, music, embedded in books,
and denial. Then finally closing it with hope of not doing it again. We can only pray amigo:)
Awesome write Mr. Blue Skies
I do love this title. Just such a statement. But I feel that this poem will live amigo.
That is the thing with poems. If we choose they will be here forever. Especially in this digital age.
Can you imagine someone reading this well after we are gone. Just something I thought about as I was fixing to
comment on your piece.
I can see how it affected you writing this - and the reader. It is an undeniable fact.
We all do die. I did enjoy the stages you put in each section. Wedding, music, embedded in books,
and denial. Then finally closing it with hope of not doing it again. We can only pray amigo:)
Awesome write Mr. Blue Skies
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
12th May 2022 5:43pm
Aah how crazy is this that just happened?
So my DU mom commented and just under her?
My DU sister!
No ways that's so super cool!
Unusually for me, the title of this piece came first. It's strange as I don't normally work that way. I normally work the other way round.
The philosophy of extended life of art based on metaverse is interesting to bring up. I seem to feel that somehow in the modern/future world they won't. See, we are the world. There's millions of us and with the digital age we are in the same places. I wonder if the works get lost in the great databases of the world? Which is something I haven't thought through.
I'm glad you enjoyed the metaphor the stages of life. I suppose for some strange reason we're trained to believe that's living. I find that odd.
Thank you for your thought provoking comment and taking the time to visit me here.
Also thank you for being super cool, supportive, kind and a delight to be friends with.
Awesomeness Mrs. Amigo
;)
So my DU mom commented and just under her?
My DU sister!
No ways that's so super cool!
Unusually for me, the title of this piece came first. It's strange as I don't normally work that way. I normally work the other way round.
The philosophy of extended life of art based on metaverse is interesting to bring up. I seem to feel that somehow in the modern/future world they won't. See, we are the world. There's millions of us and with the digital age we are in the same places. I wonder if the works get lost in the great databases of the world? Which is something I haven't thought through.
I'm glad you enjoyed the metaphor the stages of life. I suppose for some strange reason we're trained to believe that's living. I find that odd.
Thank you for your thought provoking comment and taking the time to visit me here.
Also thank you for being super cool, supportive, kind and a delight to be friends with.
Awesomeness Mrs. Amigo
;)
Re. this is a dying poem
Hey there, Al :)
I truly battle with the the stages of grief, death and how that leaves us-the living, to struggle finding answers, when there's really no answer; only that you've got to love hard, live harder and hope to find some solace along your own journey, to reconcile the deep scars that loss leaves.
We're all hurling towards the inevitable and I deeply adore how this poem goes through life's various timeline's and doesn't let up on the reminder... No matter what, be aware from day one... Yes, we're dying. Soooo, kick as much ass as you can while you can!! Is my takeaway.
Ohh how that gets the blood pumping and hearts fluttering....
Thanks for the potent read, you've inadvertently got me scheduling some additional personal training appointments for next week.... hahaha.
Your blue skies always effect such beautiful reflection, thanks so much for that-🙏
🌹-B
🌈
I truly battle with the the stages of grief, death and how that leaves us-the living, to struggle finding answers, when there's really no answer; only that you've got to love hard, live harder and hope to find some solace along your own journey, to reconcile the deep scars that loss leaves.
We're all hurling towards the inevitable and I deeply adore how this poem goes through life's various timeline's and doesn't let up on the reminder... No matter what, be aware from day one... Yes, we're dying. Soooo, kick as much ass as you can while you can!! Is my takeaway.
Ohh how that gets the blood pumping and hearts fluttering....
Thanks for the potent read, you've inadvertently got me scheduling some additional personal training appointments for next week.... hahaha.
Your blue skies always effect such beautiful reflection, thanks so much for that-🙏
🌹-B
🌈
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
18th May 2022 10:34am
Hello Mrs. Velvete
I apologize for not replying sooner. I am rather bad at that of late.
Yes the stages of grief are a struggle and you are quite correct in saying we've gotta love hard, live harder, and find solace.
In writing this piece, I very dearly wanted to use the death in it as a metaphor. I think if read it again changing the words die to live and dying to living, it might bring some relief to you ;)
thank you for being here, for commenting and for the lovely discussion. I appreciate your support!
blue skies
Al
I apologize for not replying sooner. I am rather bad at that of late.
Yes the stages of grief are a struggle and you are quite correct in saying we've gotta love hard, live harder, and find solace.
In writing this piece, I very dearly wanted to use the death in it as a metaphor. I think if read it again changing the words die to live and dying to living, it might bring some relief to you ;)
thank you for being here, for commenting and for the lovely discussion. I appreciate your support!
blue skies
Al
Re. this is a dying poem
16th May 2022 00:37am
A rather clever end line I must say! die it.... sounds like diet.... funny. thanks for the funny bone tickles. :))
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
18th May 2022 10:36am
haha!
that is funny, how a persons natural speech pattern resonates differently for different people. thank you for popping in and bringing a smile.
blue skies
Al
that is funny, how a persons natural speech pattern resonates differently for different people. thank you for popping in and bringing a smile.
blue skies
Al
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
18th May 2022 9:53pm
I almost always notice a pun floating around other poets verses, even if they aren't fully aware. Made my reading day!!
0
Re. this is a dying poem
to me the death here is in a life not lived, in never experiencing fully.. the urgency is in that stepping back, realising this is all we have and we don't even notice, letting it swoop by
that second to last stanza is a tough one, especially for the ones who tend to run away or live in denial. they can pretend anything from fulfillment to immortality to God..
I'm noticing more that you have a duality in some of my favourite pieces from you. in this case, it's both weighty and light.. so beautiful, very emotional for me, especially recently. thank you for sharing this
that second to last stanza is a tough one, especially for the ones who tend to run away or live in denial. they can pretend anything from fulfillment to immortality to God..
I'm noticing more that you have a duality in some of my favourite pieces from you. in this case, it's both weighty and light.. so beautiful, very emotional for me, especially recently. thank you for sharing this
1
Re: Re. this is a dying poem
Okay Look,
I've missed your comments, I've missed your eyes on the words, and I've certainly missed your uncanny knack of knowing things.
Sometimes a person only knows they missed a thing, when its right back there, doing it!
Thank you for being here, for saying stuff, for supporting the words and feeding the direction these writes are going in.
I've been working at dual meanings and metaphors for years. I think I was more subtle and lot less obvious in my previous years. Possibly with age has come an ability to embrace the message first rather than second. In my younger writing years I was so caught up in trying to hide the duality that the style would suffer. Now I get it out. Ambiguous as fuck! is what someone once wrote. I reckon they had a point.
Without being to fucking weird about it. I am extremely grateful that you are around. Thank you! - ;]
I've missed your comments, I've missed your eyes on the words, and I've certainly missed your uncanny knack of knowing things.
Sometimes a person only knows they missed a thing, when its right back there, doing it!
Thank you for being here, for saying stuff, for supporting the words and feeding the direction these writes are going in.
I've been working at dual meanings and metaphors for years. I think I was more subtle and lot less obvious in my previous years. Possibly with age has come an ability to embrace the message first rather than second. In my younger writing years I was so caught up in trying to hide the duality that the style would suffer. Now I get it out. Ambiguous as fuck! is what someone once wrote. I reckon they had a point.
Without being to fucking weird about it. I am extremely grateful that you are around. Thank you! - ;]
Re. this is a dying poem
3rd Jun 2022 7:34am
Hey AL! U preach it bruh. Death's my real grandma. I'm actually God Most High's lil bruh. Your piece here is eye catching sharp.
0