Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
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Deep Underground Community
(without fear or favour)
written in shared ink-stained dreams
shared where words dance in creative
woven tapestry of ethereal canvas
the unions of souls can be found
the whispered promises of love
entanglement in earthy passions
shared transcend the physical
as they are puffs of smoke
creative and heartfelt it may sound
they are born of mere words
for in deep underground
nothing is what they seem
surrender to the realm where poems reign
let us weave our tale verses entwine
creating...
written in shared ink-stained dreams
shared where words dance in creative
woven tapestry of ethereal canvas
the unions of souls can be found
the whispered promises of love
entanglement in earthy passions
shared transcend the physical
as they are puffs of smoke
creative and heartfelt it may sound
they are born of mere words
for in deep underground
nothing is what they seem
surrender to the realm where poems reign
let us weave our tale verses entwine
creating...
#funny
#WritingPoetry
#SelfReflection
61 reads
12 Comments
Mooning
A very hairy furry fairy
With a beard of solid gold
Noticed one day, that the moon was 'flashing'
And looking very bold
So the very hairy furry fairy
Fell into a silent swoon
Promptly boarding a unicorn with a silver horn
Then flew up to the moon
The full moon, was naughtily mooning
Mimicking Uranus of old
Lost within its own madness
Of which it was oft foretold
The fairy soon, dressed the moon
Using its beard of gold
Covering all the moons naughty parts
Now no longer to behold
The moon...
With a beard of solid gold
Noticed one day, that the moon was 'flashing'
And looking very bold
So the very hairy furry fairy
Fell into a silent swoon
Promptly boarding a unicorn with a silver horn
Then flew up to the moon
The full moon, was naughtily mooning
Mimicking Uranus of old
Lost within its own madness
Of which it was oft foretold
The fairy soon, dressed the moon
Using its beard of gold
Covering all the moons naughty parts
Now no longer to behold
The moon...
#moon
#funny
#fairies
32 reads
0 Comments
A Fishy Limerick
There once was a lady of
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
Hastings
Who was busy with her much time
wastings
When lost down a
twitten
She was immediately
smitten
With her fish, and chip supper
and mushy pea tastings
by Jemia
#limerick
#satirical
#funny #surreal
#funny #surreal
17 reads
0 Comments
Wiener Walk
I bend down to pet the dachshund
because dog
The owner nods her approval
Aww, what a sweetie
my standard sincere statement
about any canine
who doesn't bare its' fangs
and sever tendons in my wrist
He just went for a wiener walk!
the 40-ish blonde woman tells me
Oh...
so, a walk with other dachshunds?
Did I really need to ask that?
Yes,
blonde 40 confirms
He had fun
but it doesn't take long for him to get tired
Yeah, like the men in the age group I'm...
because dog
The owner nods her approval
Aww, what a sweetie
my standard sincere statement
about any canine
who doesn't bare its' fangs
and sever tendons in my wrist
He just went for a wiener walk!
the 40-ish blonde woman tells me
Oh...
so, a walk with other dachshunds?
Did I really need to ask that?
Yes,
blonde 40 confirms
He had fun
but it doesn't take long for him to get tired
Yeah, like the men in the age group I'm...
#dogs
#funny
49 reads
4 Comments
Dutch Oven
I hear, the gases that you keep…
When you’re fartin’ in your sleep”
(So Romantic)
She told me that this morning
(Yeah, she got jokes too)
Then she let me have it
The whole truth and nothing butt
Now I don’t feel ass charming
Here I thought
If I kept it quiet and not toot around her
I was keeping some kind of mystery
Turns out in my sleep my Annie has been a suffering
(Is she OK?)
Talk about Misery
“You’ve Dutch Oven’d me countless times”
She said with...
When you’re fartin’ in your sleep”
(So Romantic)
She told me that this morning
(Yeah, she got jokes too)
Then she let me have it
The whole truth and nothing butt
Now I don’t feel ass charming
Here I thought
If I kept it quiet and not toot around her
I was keeping some kind of mystery
Turns out in my sleep my Annie has been a suffering
(Is she OK?)
Talk about Misery
“You’ve Dutch Oven’d me countless times”
She said with...
#love
#wife
#funny
91 reads
9 Comments
Losing my marbles
I’m trapped inside the ceiling
I’m trapped inside the wall
I’m trapped inside the windows
I’m trapped inside the floor
Can you hear me screaming?
Can you hear my moan?
I’m crying out for assistance
But no-one hears my call!
I’m trapped inside the mirror
I’m trapped inside the hall
I’m trapped inside the table
I’m trapped inside the door
I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know where I am
I have lost all of my marbles
Then found them all again!
I’m trapped inside the wall
I’m trapped inside the windows
I’m trapped inside the floor
Can you hear me screaming?
Can you hear my moan?
I’m crying out for assistance
But no-one hears my call!
I’m trapped inside the mirror
I’m trapped inside the hall
I’m trapped inside the table
I’m trapped inside the door
I don’t know where I’m going
I don’t know where I am
I have lost all of my marbles
Then found them all again!
#funny
#myself
#SelfReflection #surreal
#SelfReflection #surreal
53 reads
4 Comments
Dr Feral
#sex
#funny
#myself
#dirty
#surreal
94 reads
3 Comments
'merica
My one regret is the bloodline I derived from
I’m not a pedigree or a monkey’s uncle
My father is a penniless swami
My mother is a peace creep
We live up the river,
near a civil war battle ground
When there is a downwind,
the water has a polluted, toxic smell
A few years ago, I needed a pair of glasses
Never received them,
No insurance, no money!
My mother bitch slapped me a few times,
thinking that would help straighten my eyes out
Now I have short eyes!
Fuck, she’s dumb.
My brother, who is three years...
I’m not a pedigree or a monkey’s uncle
My father is a penniless swami
My mother is a peace creep
We live up the river,
near a civil war battle ground
When there is a downwind,
the water has a polluted, toxic smell
A few years ago, I needed a pair of glasses
Never received them,
No insurance, no money!
My mother bitch slapped me a few times,
thinking that would help straighten my eyes out
Now I have short eyes!
Fuck, she’s dumb.
My brother, who is three years...
#family
#Easter
#fiction
#funny
#poverty
50 reads
6 Comments
Perverted PA
#erotic
#America
#funny
#dirty
#passion
121 reads
11 Comments
The Tri-Eyed Tribe
In a small wood
Far, far, away
In an undiscovered part
Of this big wide world
Lived a very strange race of people
Their average height was only two foot six inches
Which is rather short
But not strange
They spoke by making curious clicking noises
Maybe unusual
But again, not strange
They were strict vegans
The idea of eating meat of any kind
They found totally repugnant
Yet again, nothing strange in that
What was strange
Was that they all possessed a third eye
Two of which
Were exactly in the place ...
Far, far, away
In an undiscovered part
Of this big wide world
Lived a very strange race of people
Their average height was only two foot six inches
Which is rather short
But not strange
They spoke by making curious clicking noises
Maybe unusual
But again, not strange
They were strict vegans
The idea of eating meat of any kind
They found totally repugnant
Yet again, nothing strange in that
What was strange
Was that they all possessed a third eye
Two of which
Were exactly in the place ...
#satirical
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeChangingMoment
#surreal
19 reads
2 Comments
Come at Me Bro!
The Great Decapod Crustacean War
General Clawdius Herman Shellby Pincer VIII stood on the rock
He had come from a long line of warriors since the Jurassic era
His family were more defined by their extra thick exoskeletons
Their species are one the longest living creatures on planet Terra
An army of a million crabs had gathered there in the ocean floor
Ready to go to war as General Pincer VIII encouraged the troops
He spoke to platoons, sergeants, chieftains, captains and crabtains
Advising that the enemy is fast and catches them in groups ...
General Clawdius Herman Shellby Pincer VIII stood on the rock
He had come from a long line of warriors since the Jurassic era
His family were more defined by their extra thick exoskeletons
Their species are one the longest living creatures on planet Terra
An army of a million crabs had gathered there in the ocean floor
Ready to go to war as General Pincer VIII encouraged the troops
He spoke to platoons, sergeants, chieftains, captains and crabtains
Advising that the enemy is fast and catches them in groups ...
#animals
#nature
#narrative #funny
#narrative #funny
80 reads
9 Comments
Sticking My Neck Out
When i was just a child
A parent told me
When i grow up
It's a good idea
To be a little rational
Being regularly lost in myriad thoughts
And daydreams
I only heard
What to me
Sounded like
Be a little rash
So to impress my parents
I decided to go beyond
Their limited expectations of me
So i became very rash
On a lighter note
Such as falling out of trees
Over the top of bicycle handlebars
Building underground tunnels
That could of caved in at any time
Anyway
I only remember this moment in...
A parent told me
When i grow up
It's a good idea
To be a little rational
Being regularly lost in myriad thoughts
And daydreams
I only heard
What to me
Sounded like
Be a little rash
So to impress my parents
I decided to go beyond
Their limited expectations of me
So i became very rash
On a lighter note
Such as falling out of trees
Over the top of bicycle handlebars
Building underground tunnels
That could of caved in at any time
Anyway
I only remember this moment in...
#satirical
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #LifeChangingMoment
#LifeAsAWriter #LifeChangingMoment
48 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry