The destitute night with nothing to offer except darkness I look for stars but in my city sky they are less than brilliant, dull like most things, I'm bored quickly then the introspection begins which leads to a sleepless an over thought lengthy roll from side to side kinda dreary evening, making me wish my pillow could talk.
I once wanted the american dream, fences, a dog named spot a neighbor named Betty and a soul crushing 9 to 5 what I got was a broken gate a dead neighbor, 2 cats and a hustle, there isn't any dream it's just another american fable.
I was drawn to you with a pen, jet black ink my favorite kind, hopeless nights bled empty words into open ears yet the brain just couldn't get behind all the bullshit, the dead heart lifted and fell, crumbling with the paper that designed it all.
Today I went to work and instead of cleaning the house I meditated and prayed with the family as their beloved 17 year old Golden Retriever layed on the floor waiting to crossover, he is still with us. Letting go is so unbelievably hard. I couldn't clean. I couldnt do anything worthwhile except cry. I left emptied. I couldn't go home, Maryanne needed me next. I went and got her a pizza I gave her CBD and her her night meds, I gave Sandy her sickly cat his special food and his meds. I then cleaned up possum poop and all ...
You can't pawn love, which renders it useless to the junky heart, they love your jewelry box love, love, love, your wallet, loving the shoulder they are always crying, dying on, they love your TV and couch and the bathroom too, but they will never love you.
Staring at a version of myself that lays in a puddle near the street I am me, just blurred and hazy, the sky cries and drops fall and I watch my reflection distort I become an abstract monster in a moving pool of reality.