Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
Mstrmnd1923
Poem Published
24th Jan 2025 6:11am
24th Jan 2025 6:11am
Cringe and Punishment
In the kingdom of Punlandia
While drinking their drafts
Joked punsters and jesters
Who loved a good laugh
They'd quip and they'd quibble
With tongues sharp as knives
Creating wordplay and puns
To the groans of their wives
"Why did the scarecrow become a politician"
One asked in jest
"Because he was outstanding in his field
You must attest"
The groans were aplenty
The cringe it did grow
As puns kept on coming
Like an unstoppable flow
"Why don't scientists trust...
While drinking their drafts
Joked punsters and jesters
Who loved a good laugh
They'd quip and they'd quibble
With tongues sharp as knives
Creating wordplay and puns
To the groans of their wives
"Why did the scarecrow become a politician"
One asked in jest
"Because he was outstanding in his field
You must attest"
The groans were aplenty
The cringe it did grow
As puns kept on coming
Like an unstoppable flow
"Why don't scientists trust...
#funny
65 reads
2 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
24th Jan 2025 4:59am
24th Jan 2025 4:59am
Addicted
A dick said I'm messed up in the head.
That was food for thought,
Then I went to bed.
I dreamed of a keg.
Chugging on the barstool,
With a broken leg.
I won that race.
I don't need to eat the veg.
Just praise the Lord, Alcohol, i pledge.
A dick said he wanted me to be happy.
So he emotionally trapped me.
In an empty keg.
On a broken barstool.
Underfed.
So I praised the Lord, Alcohol, instead.
Lmao
That was food for thought,
Then I went to bed.
I dreamed of a keg.
Chugging on the barstool,
With a broken leg.
I won that race.
I don't need to eat the veg.
Just praise the Lord, Alcohol, i pledge.
A dick said he wanted me to be happy.
So he emotionally trapped me.
In an empty keg.
On a broken barstool.
Underfed.
So I praised the Lord, Alcohol, instead.
Lmao
#alcohol
#funny
71 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
Windswept
Better
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
46 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
Malicia McFee
Poor Malicia McFee
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
#funny
#satirical
#surreal
24 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
21st Jan 2025 1:25pm
21st Jan 2025 1:25pm
Alien Fairies
Alien fairies, like eartbound fairies dwell
They have certain differences, one can easily tell
They have extra wings, that grow on their feet as well
Even their ears could flap, and hover in any position
Squeezing through the smallest of gaps, with no disposition
They could speak in twenty-five languages
That nobody could understand
Apart from parts of deep space
Where all twenty-five languages, are banned!
They've thrown some quite wild parties
Quaffing much mead by the quart
As they played their flirtatious harps
Of a very...
They have certain differences, one can easily tell
They have extra wings, that grow on their feet as well
Even their ears could flap, and hover in any position
Squeezing through the smallest of gaps, with no disposition
They could speak in twenty-five languages
That nobody could understand
Apart from parts of deep space
Where all twenty-five languages, are banned!
They've thrown some quite wild parties
Quaffing much mead by the quart
As they played their flirtatious harps
Of a very...
#aliens
#fairies
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#surreal
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
Windy Hollow!
More
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
40 reads
0 Comments
Pete_25
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 8:13am
20th Jan 2025 8:13am
In Session
Take a look inside my mind
The devil's got a hold on me
"Take a seat, try and relax
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
There's a place, there's a time
You possess the magic key
"Open up, look at me
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
Clean my mind, cleanse those thoughts
Set those little demons free
"You're discharged, demonic free
Did you like my funny tea?"
The devil's got a hold on me
"Take a seat, try and relax
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
There's a place, there's a time
You possess the magic key
"Open up, look at me
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
Clean my mind, cleanse those thoughts
Set those little demons free
"You're discharged, demonic free
Did you like my funny tea?"
#emotions
#funny
91 reads
8 Comments
I_IS_ME
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 2:42am
20th Jan 2025 2:42am
How Soon They Forget
#funny
#narrative
101 reads
10 Comments
wallyroo92
Bumped 20th Jan 2025 1:49am
7th Sep 2019 6:32pm
7th Sep 2019 6:32pm
Wally Behind Bars
Writing live from an unknown location (and no not a prison),
Risen out of this prism ready to spill some euphemisms,
Wally is behind bars lit with cigars firing off shooting stars,
So you better keep up and listen to the colloquialisms.
Sit back, have a drink of this ink I think you’ll read and maybe like,
Like an open mic night it might just feel right to get up and fight,
But like an empathic telepathic I’ll make a prediction,
You’re going to leisurely follow me then swallow all my diction.
I know I don’t have to rhyme every time I write a simple...
Risen out of this prism ready to spill some euphemisms,
Wally is behind bars lit with cigars firing off shooting stars,
So you better keep up and listen to the colloquialisms.
Sit back, have a drink of this ink I think you’ll read and maybe like,
Like an open mic night it might just feel right to get up and fight,
But like an empathic telepathic I’ll make a prediction,
You’re going to leisurely follow me then swallow all my diction.
I know I don’t have to rhyme every time I write a simple...
#rhyming
#funny
#myself
639 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 9:54pm
19th Jan 2025 9:54pm
The Lonely Sock!
This poor sock, was all alone
All kind of wind blown
I was told it was alone
Because it had wind!
And was thus teased with the name windsock!
Surely wind, like any of us
Would wear a pair of socks!
Does that thus mean
That wind
Also wears, underwear?
I suspect that
'Windy knickers'
And a 'windy bra'
Won't catch on
Or go very far!
by Jemia
All kind of wind blown
I was told it was alone
Because it had wind!
And was thus teased with the name windsock!
Surely wind, like any of us
Would wear a pair of socks!
Does that thus mean
That wind
Also wears, underwear?
I suspect that
'Windy knickers'
And a 'windy bra'
Won't catch on
Or go very far!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#wind
49 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Miss A Little!
Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
35 reads
0 Comments
Lynxxey
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 2:06pm
19th Jan 2025 2:06pm
You suck
I hope that this finds you in the worst place
With zits and dead skin on your face
I want to send your kid a box of legos
And I hope you step on one everyday
Babies seem to cry when they’re around you
And pets don’t want to stay in the room
No amount of booze can make you attractive
And you make really bad tasting food
The word around town is you smell bad
I smelled you coming from 30 feet away
You have a bad haircut, and your style is shit
It offends everyone in every single way
With zits and dead skin on your face
I want to send your kid a box of legos
And I hope you step on one everyday
Babies seem to cry when they’re around you
And pets don’t want to stay in the room
No amount of booze can make you attractive
And you make really bad tasting food
The word around town is you smell bad
I smelled you coming from 30 feet away
You have a bad haircut, and your style is shit
It offends everyone in every single way
#funny
#humankind
67 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
