Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 00:02am
Yesterday 00:02am
Peaking At The Weather!
Voice
"peaking
Thursday!"
Weather
forecast:
luckily.......
Not
in
Peking
then!
by Jemia
"peaking
Thursday!"
Weather
forecast:
luckily.......
Not
in
Peking
then!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#misunderstood
14 reads
0 Comments
michaelslove2
Poem Published
Yesterday 8:16am
Yesterday 8:16am
Restroom Jingle
Restroom Jingle
Please don't talk on your cell phone
when you're takin' a leak.
We're just standin' here a peein'.
None of us wanna hear about your week.
Does the person on the other end,
do they really wanna hear
a buncha pissin', fartin', flushin'.
Is it comin' through now loud and clear?
If you can't keep off your cell phone
to do a little number two
now fella, I know I've got my own problems
but there's somethin' really wrong with you.
This is a place of privacy.
I'm not puttin' on a...
Please don't talk on your cell phone
when you're takin' a leak.
We're just standin' here a peein'.
None of us wanna hear about your week.
Does the person on the other end,
do they really wanna hear
a buncha pissin', fartin', flushin'.
Is it comin' through now loud and clear?
If you can't keep off your cell phone
to do a little number two
now fella, I know I've got my own problems
but there's somethin' really wrong with you.
This is a place of privacy.
I'm not puttin' on a...
#funny
23 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd May 2025 1:25pm
2nd May 2025 1:25pm
absinthe minded 9 years ago!
my diary entry for the last day of April:
when all the physical stuff is done and dusted, re: moving again and decorating. i can re-enter the surreal, ethereal worlds again. and venture once more unto the breach of parallel worlds, and chill out! my expected chill out date being the 14th May! unless of course the usual unexpected occurs. so who knows? but it gives a target of some sorts. although, if i bear in mind that ive still got to unpack everything and finish decorating, fly to the moon, dance with Titania, explain myself to Oberon, and watch out for Puck, run a mini marathon (no...
when all the physical stuff is done and dusted, re: moving again and decorating. i can re-enter the surreal, ethereal worlds again. and venture once more unto the breach of parallel worlds, and chill out! my expected chill out date being the 14th May! unless of course the usual unexpected occurs. so who knows? but it gives a target of some sorts. although, if i bear in mind that ive still got to unpack everything and finish decorating, fly to the moon, dance with Titania, explain myself to Oberon, and watch out for Puck, run a mini marathon (no...
#alcohol
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#magic
#surreal
24 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd May 2025 11:15am
2nd May 2025 11:15am
Bubble Bath! (Limerick)
There was
an old lady
of Bath
Who was
always good
for a laugh
Whilst
on holiday
in Nantucket
She said
oh my
golly gosh
This
non-swearing
lady of Bath.....
by Jemia
an old lady
of Bath
Who was
always good
for a laugh
Whilst
on holiday
in Nantucket
She said
oh my
golly gosh
This
non-swearing
lady of Bath.....
by Jemia
#funny
#limerick
#satirical
42 reads
0 Comments
wallyroo92
Bumped 30th Apr 2025 4:18am
4th Jan 2022 6:38pm
4th Jan 2022 6:38pm
The Woman in Fendi and the Young Salesman
She was known around town as the snooty divorcee
In the settlement she took most of her ex-husband’s money
But then she got accustomed to living in such a way
She thought of herself as queen since she had all that honey
Hermes, Gucci, Prada, you name it, she had it all
From Oscar, Marc, Ralph, Versace to Armani and Dior
Decked in diamonds and red bottoms made her look tall
And yet the woman in Fendi was shaped like a door
She went into car dealership looking for something nice
A convertible preferably to show off her wealth...
In the settlement she took most of her ex-husband’s money
But then she got accustomed to living in such a way
She thought of herself as queen since she had all that honey
Hermes, Gucci, Prada, you name it, she had it all
From Oscar, Marc, Ralph, Versace to Armani and Dior
Decked in diamonds and red bottoms made her look tall
And yet the woman in Fendi was shaped like a door
She went into car dealership looking for something nice
A convertible preferably to show off her wealth...
#funny
439 reads
12 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
29th Apr 2025 4:32am
29th Apr 2025 4:32am
Buried
I think I repressed so many emotions over the years
I lost track of what’s buried in the back of that cemetery
Though I don’t go into details or talk about it much nowadays
I just rhyme as if I’m running out of time like it’s very scary
And sometimes those old emotions are like restless ghosts
Their chains rattle like they want to rap battle me with loose lips
I just tell ‘em “shut the hell up and get back into your grave”
But I am more well-read now in case of a zombie apocalypse
77 Unique
96 Total
I lost track of what’s buried in the back of that cemetery
Though I don’t go into details or talk about it much nowadays
I just rhyme as if I’m running out of time like it’s very scary
And sometimes those old emotions are like restless ghosts
Their chains rattle like they want to rap battle me with loose lips
I just tell ‘em “shut the hell up and get back into your grave”
But I am more well-read now in case of a zombie apocalypse
77 Unique
96 Total
#funny
#ghosts
#PersonalGrowth #SelfReflection
#PersonalGrowth #SelfReflection
53 reads
1 Comment
wallyroo92
Bumped 29th Apr 2025 3:46am
29th Dec 2020 3:14am
29th Dec 2020 3:14am
Oklahoma!
#sex
#porn
#funny #dirty
#funny #dirty
824 reads
12 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
25th Apr 2025 3:24am
25th Apr 2025 3:24am
Atlas A Taurus
When she almost died, I told the Taurus stars
“Give her back to me and take me instead”
So when she came to life I protected my wife
Knowing I had lot of work to compose ahead
I made a pact with the universe, my life for her–
So that I may go into the infinite cosmos first
Thus I immersed myself in prose and verse
To write my best even when I’m at my worst
Ever since I’ve spit mad bars looking up at the stars
Declaring my love even if I’m sounding silly or dumb
Whether she laughs or cries I love the look in her eyes
But I...
“Give her back to me and take me instead”
So when she came to life I protected my wife
Knowing I had lot of work to compose ahead
I made a pact with the universe, my life for her–
So that I may go into the infinite cosmos first
Thus I immersed myself in prose and verse
To write my best even when I’m at my worst
Ever since I’ve spit mad bars looking up at the stars
Declaring my love even if I’m sounding silly or dumb
Whether she laughs or cries I love the look in her eyes
But I...
#funny
#love
#romantic
#stars
#universe
72 reads
4 Comments
wallyroo92
Bumped 25th Apr 2025 1:07am
21st Oct 2021 5:31am
21st Oct 2021 5:31am
Little Red Corset
#lust
#erotic
#funny
730 reads
16 Comments
wallyroo92
Bumped 24th Apr 2025 1:07am
24th Mar 2021 4:21am
24th Mar 2021 4:21am
My Poetry Hose
My wife thinks I’m cheating on her with my poetry hose
I suppose my verse comes close to being fully exposed
So when I compose I like to be a little gross and verbose
But unlike pros, my prose probes propositions to oppose
She says: That’s indecent, what are you trying to disclose?
I’ve been known to hone in on the zone with a racy tone
The titter and titillation helps keep everyone on their toes
But these are not pornos so leave my poor nose alone!
It’s cheeky, sassy, asinine and full of innuendoes
The slurs can spur a...
I suppose my verse comes close to being fully exposed
So when I compose I like to be a little gross and verbose
But unlike pros, my prose probes propositions to oppose
She says: That’s indecent, what are you trying to disclose?
I’ve been known to hone in on the zone with a racy tone
The titter and titillation helps keep everyone on their toes
But these are not pornos so leave my poor nose alone!
It’s cheeky, sassy, asinine and full of innuendoes
The slurs can spur a...
#rhyming
#funny
#WritingPoetry #dirty
#WritingPoetry #dirty
655 reads
10 Comments
brokentitanium
k.
k.
Poem Published
22nd Apr 2025 4:52pm
22nd Apr 2025 4:52pm
I'll never get around to leaving you
that book I never finished
that jar of rubber bands
those craft supplies I said I’d give away
the left-handed golf clubs
the watermelon cookbook
the ugly blanket my old friend crocheted
I never got around to learning Spanish
I have a closet full of worn-out shoes
the waffle iron’s safe, and so are you, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you
I never got around to playing tennis
I have a planner from 2002
The croquet set’s still here, and so am I, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you.
...
that jar of rubber bands
those craft supplies I said I’d give away
the left-handed golf clubs
the watermelon cookbook
the ugly blanket my old friend crocheted
I never got around to learning Spanish
I have a closet full of worn-out shoes
the waffle iron’s safe, and so are you, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you
I never got around to playing tennis
I have a planner from 2002
The croquet set’s still here, and so am I, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you.
...
#ADHD
#funny
#marriage
105 reads
6 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
21st Apr 2025 9:33pm
21st Apr 2025 9:33pm
Breadcrumbs
It's a good thing nobody is ignoring me.
I thought i was alone :P
I thought i was alone :P
#funny
#TruthOfLife
77 reads
2 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
