Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 10:26pm
Yesterday 10:26pm
The Life Of A Pubic Hair!
Enid
Had been a pubic hair for about twenty years now
And she had seen everything
Her owner, now in her early thirties
Had been living her life to the fullest
Enid didn't mind this
Even though she sometimes
Got into some quite sticky situations
She just felt unappreciated
And felt as if her owner disliked her
And appeared to dislike all of Enids sisters as well
Soon, in an act of pubic genoside
Enid, and her sisters
Were sent to brasil
by Jemia
Had been a pubic hair for about twenty years now
And she had seen everything
Her owner, now in her early thirties
Had been living her life to the fullest
Enid didn't mind this
Even though she sometimes
Got into some quite sticky situations
She just felt unappreciated
And felt as if her owner disliked her
And appeared to dislike all of Enids sisters as well
Soon, in an act of pubic genoside
Enid, and her sisters
Were sent to brasil
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #sex
#satirical #sex
17 reads
0 Comments
Pete_25
Poem Published
29th Dec 2024 8:50am
29th Dec 2024 8:50am
Freak Show
Psycho's in me bathroom
Where's me rubber duck?
This night of doom and gloom
Screaming what the fuck!
Doctor Frankenstein
Will bring you back to life
A divine combine design
If you undergo his knife
Half of me is Jekyll
The other half is fella
Now an empty vessel
Locked up in his cellar
Where's me rubber duck?
This night of doom and gloom
Screaming what the fuck!
Doctor Frankenstein
Will bring you back to life
A divine combine design
If you undergo his knife
Half of me is Jekyll
The other half is fella
Now an empty vessel
Locked up in his cellar
#funny
#horror
56 reads
6 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Dec 2024 12:59pm
28th Dec 2024 12:59pm
Nora
A witch
Upon her broken broom
Came a'crashing through my window
Into my bedroom
Sending ornaments, and such like
Smashing to the ground
I was to stupified
To say anything profound
Then she spoke,
As quietly as a wisp of smoke
"I don't suppose, if it's not to much bother!"
"I could trouble you for a cup of tea?"
So i wandered into the kitchen
Full of mystery
Wondering whether i was dreaming...........
By the time i returned to my room
She was sat down looking relaxed
Everything seemed...
Upon her broken broom
Came a'crashing through my window
Into my bedroom
Sending ornaments, and such like
Smashing to the ground
I was to stupified
To say anything profound
Then she spoke,
As quietly as a wisp of smoke
"I don't suppose, if it's not to much bother!"
"I could trouble you for a cup of tea?"
So i wandered into the kitchen
Full of mystery
Wondering whether i was dreaming...........
By the time i returned to my room
She was sat down looking relaxed
Everything seemed...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#surreal
#witches
29 reads
0 Comments
Shon
Poem Published
28th Dec 2024 10:48am
28th Dec 2024 10:48am
Red Polka dot & blue
I met some ladies last night.
Two and three.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
The later was so friendly.
To her friends I was welcomed too.
I asked the beatitude, why?
She replied cause you.
You looked so friendly too.
I thought I'd gone home alone.
Awaking in the morn.
Throwing the duvet aside.
I happened to glance back.
There they were.
Lying side by side.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
Memories of last night.
Came flooding back.
Of red, polka dot & blue.
Thro in the dark
I...
Two and three.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
The later was so friendly.
To her friends I was welcomed too.
I asked the beatitude, why?
She replied cause you.
You looked so friendly too.
I thought I'd gone home alone.
Awaking in the morn.
Throwing the duvet aside.
I happened to glance back.
There they were.
Lying side by side.
One in red, polka dot & blue.
Memories of last night.
Came flooding back.
Of red, polka dot & blue.
Thro in the dark
I...
#dreams
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #surreal
#LifeAsAWriter #surreal
74 reads
2 Comments
Carpe_Noctem
Poem Published
27th Dec 2024 6:50pm
27th Dec 2024 6:50pm
Everyone forgets my f**king birthday
Generally I'm not a big song and ceremony type
when it comes to birthday hype
If someone asks, I tell them the day
However beyond that I won't remind. Not my way
when it comes to birthday hype
If someone asks, I tell them the day
However beyond that I won't remind. Not my way
#aging
#funny
#LifeCycle
52 reads
5 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
26th Dec 2024 12:10pm
26th Dec 2024 12:10pm
Blood Sucking Bugs
Flies annoy and Bzz Bzz Bzz around,
as long as there's garbage they'll always be found
One year as a kid I killed two flies
Placed them in my brother's burger,
devoured, with some shoe string fries
I recall a kid who lived a few blocks away
The family was dirt-poor,
his home needed to be sprayed
Every time I saw him he was insanely scratching his head
His hair was greasy and wild,
fingertips looked bloody red
I later found out that he was carrying lice
Filthy family they were,
house was inundated with mice
I was...
as long as there's garbage they'll always be found
One year as a kid I killed two flies
Placed them in my brother's burger,
devoured, with some shoe string fries
I recall a kid who lived a few blocks away
The family was dirt-poor,
his home needed to be sprayed
Every time I saw him he was insanely scratching his head
His hair was greasy and wild,
fingertips looked bloody red
I later found out that he was carrying lice
Filthy family they were,
house was inundated with mice
I was...
#funny
#memories
#nostalgia
51 reads
8 Comments
wallyroo92
Bumped 26th Dec 2024 4:54am
16th Dec 2020 4:26pm
16th Dec 2020 4:26pm
Santa's Got a Randy Bag
#erotic
#Christmas
#funny #dirty
#funny #dirty
622 reads
10 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Dec 2024 3:57am
26th Dec 2024 3:57am
Hot Pants!
When
i
was
thirteen
I
tried
to
smoke
underwear!
To
much
knickerteen!
by Jemia
i
was
thirteen
I
tried
to
smoke
underwear!
To
much
knickerteen!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
25 reads
0 Comments
Naajir
Poem Published
26th Dec 2024 3:34am
26th Dec 2024 3:34am
Santa Baby
It's Santa baby
Climbing down midnight's chimney
The stocking filler
Be nice and naughty
You'll get spankings and thankings
Cuz I've been watching
All the ho ho ho's
Down to put the X in Mas
While opening gifts
Climbing down midnight's chimney
The stocking filler
Be nice and naughty
You'll get spankings and thankings
Cuz I've been watching
All the ho ho ho's
Down to put the X in Mas
While opening gifts
#funny
#seductive
#sexy #Christmas
#sexy #Christmas
190 reads
8 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Dec 2024 11:34pm
23rd Dec 2024 11:34pm
S'now Joke!
Need to rant!!!!
I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kind hearted, or I'm too stupid..... 😞
Yesterday it was so cold out that i took a man into my flat out of the kindness of my heart, i felt so sorry for him, poor thing was standing stiff and frozen out in the cold. i turned up the heating and let him stay overnight. However this morning he had just vanished. Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him.
The last straw?!?! When I realized he had peed all over the floor of the flat
! That's the “thank you” I get for being good to...
I will never help anyone again......EVER! I'm too kind hearted, or I'm too stupid..... 😞
Yesterday it was so cold out that i took a man into my flat out of the kindness of my heart, i felt so sorry for him, poor thing was standing stiff and frozen out in the cold. i turned up the heating and let him stay overnight. However this morning he had just vanished. Not a word...not even a goodbye or a thank you for sheltering him.
The last straw?!?! When I realized he had peed all over the floor of the flat
! That's the “thank you” I get for being good to...
#Christmas
#funny
#satirical
#snow
#surreal
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Dec 2024 9:43pm
22nd Dec 2024 9:43pm
A Cocc, And Bull Tale
The cuckoos
coccyx
Lay damaged
by the cocks crow
As the cocks
coccyx
Began to
glow
And
so
Both thought it
all very unfair
As they
hobbled about
With a sore
derriere!
by Jemia
coccyx
Lay damaged
by the cocks crow
As the cocks
coccyx
Began to
glow
And
so
Both thought it
all very unfair
As they
hobbled about
With a sore
derriere!
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
33 reads
0 Comments
MySmile
Besma
Besma
Poem Published
21st Dec 2024 10:22am
21st Dec 2024 10:22am
Besma
Besma, rhyme old poetess
The word for her a charming princess
Poetry is her valiant knight
A guiding Muse who pops at night
So obsessive she is about spelling
With a genuine flair for creative writing
Her forte is the soulful human touch
So elated when praised as such
Watching romance and action films her leisure
Reading and listening to music for her a pleasure
Horror movies make her heart sink
For sci-fi stories she has no flowing ink
To serve and enlighten, her wish and dream
With Love, peace and joy Humanity will...
The word for her a charming princess
Poetry is her valiant knight
A guiding Muse who pops at night
So obsessive she is about spelling
With a genuine flair for creative writing
Her forte is the soulful human touch
So elated when praised as such
Watching romance and action films her leisure
Reading and listening to music for her a pleasure
Horror movies make her heart sink
For sci-fi stories she has no flowing ink
To serve and enlighten, her wish and dream
With Love, peace and joy Humanity will...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#myself
#rhyming
#WritingPoetry
71 reads
10 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
