Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 12:22pm
Yesterday 12:22pm
Not Quite A Hamadryad
Last Christmas
I considered
Wearing a small christmas tree
On my head!
So i could declare
"Look!"
"The christmas tree
Is on top of the fairy
This year!"
But didn't!
by Jemia
I considered
Wearing a small christmas tree
On my head!
So i could declare
"Look!"
"The christmas tree
Is on top of the fairy
This year!"
But didn't!
by Jemia
#Christmas
#fairies
#funny #satirical
#funny #satirical
16 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 12:06pm
Yesterday 12:06pm
Love Is In The Heir!
Valentines Day
Is a very special day
For me this year
I'm kind of looking forward to it
And much good cheer
For upon this day
I receive my monthly pension pay!
How very romantic...well not exactly
However
My pension
Has proffered
To take me out on a date
And said it will pay!
As long as it's not
On Valentines Day
by Jemia
Is a very special day
For me this year
I'm kind of looking forward to it
And much good cheer
For upon this day
I receive my monthly pension pay!
How very romantic...well not exactly
However
My pension
Has proffered
To take me out on a date
And said it will pay!
As long as it's not
On Valentines Day
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #ValentinesDay
#satirical #ValentinesDay
12 reads
0 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 8:03pm
29th Jan 2025 8:03pm
Feminism
When you allow an entire team of guys,
To manipulate you,
Into harassing another female.
And you wonder why she laughs at you,
And won't be your friend,
Or friends with the people,
You call friends,
Who clearly aren't your friends.
You were just too stupid to notice.
It's nice to see you,
Finally get what's coming to you.
I'm sure your "friends"
Are so upset,
They spend more time with me now. Lol
To manipulate you,
Into harassing another female.
And you wonder why she laughs at you,
And won't be your friend,
Or friends with the people,
You call friends,
Who clearly aren't your friends.
You were just too stupid to notice.
It's nice to see you,
Finally get what's coming to you.
I'm sure your "friends"
Are so upset,
They spend more time with me now. Lol
#funny
45 reads
5 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 7:05pm
29th Jan 2025 7:05pm
Antisocial Sociopath
People with vaginas have lower IQ's.
They actually waste time trying to be my friend.
FOR YEARS!
Stressing over nothing.
Idiocracy.
wow, so smart.
It's like they never learn.
I have a vagina and I learned,
That dicks go in them.
Now I'm happy.
:D
They actually waste time trying to be my friend.
FOR YEARS!
Stressing over nothing.
Idiocracy.
wow, so smart.
It's like they never learn.
I have a vagina and I learned,
That dicks go in them.
Now I'm happy.
:D
#funny
#TruthOfLife
45 reads
12 Comments
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 1:53am
29th Jan 2025 1:53am
Revenge of the Fembots
When I was a kid
I wanted to write
a sequel to Levin’s
The Stepford Wives wherein
the wives would gain
fresh sentience
and calibrate
their private parts
to pulverise
their husband’s bits
like so much sausage meat
blended to mush.
Quite how I would
have executed this
I do not know,
but genius in youth
is not at all
times practical.
I wanted to write
a sequel to Levin’s
The Stepford Wives wherein
the wives would gain
fresh sentience
and calibrate
their private parts
to pulverise
their husband’s bits
like so much sausage meat
blended to mush.
Quite how I would
have executed this
I do not know,
but genius in youth
is not at all
times practical.
#funny
37 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
That They're There
Me, and my ears
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
37 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Jan 2025 4:53pm
28th Jan 2025 4:53pm
The Shape Of It All
If
I were to be a shape
Then i would be a circle
As i love to get around
And have a ball
And be a balloon
Whoevers heard of square balloons?
Then again
Not many round kites around
Aeroplanes, and missiles
Are more pointy, and phallic shaped
So i'll stick with being a circle
Or perhaps a Myriagon!
(a 10,000 sided polygon!)
by Jemia
I were to be a shape
Then i would be a circle
As i love to get around
And have a ball
And be a balloon
Whoevers heard of square balloons?
Then again
Not many round kites around
Aeroplanes, and missiles
Are more pointy, and phallic shaped
So i'll stick with being a circle
Or perhaps a Myriagon!
(a 10,000 sided polygon!)
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeCycle #philosophical
#LifeCycle #philosophical
29 reads
0 Comments
PAR
Poem Published
27th Jan 2025 3:14pm
27th Jan 2025 3:14pm
Pun blossom
In the garden of words
I plant a pun or two
Cultivating humor
with a laugh that's overdue.
I carrot all about you
you make my heart beet
lettuce turnip the fun
don't squash the upbeat.
You’re a-maize-ing.
A real fungi to be with.
Mushroom for love
in our punny myth.
You're the apple of my pie,
the cherry on top.
Together we’re grapeful,
we’re the cream of the crop.
Even when I feel
melon-choly and blue,
I know I've got a friend
who's truly grape and true.
I plant a pun or two
Cultivating humor
with a laugh that's overdue.
I carrot all about you
you make my heart beet
lettuce turnip the fun
don't squash the upbeat.
You’re a-maize-ing.
A real fungi to be with.
Mushroom for love
in our punny myth.
You're the apple of my pie,
the cherry on top.
Together we’re grapeful,
we’re the cream of the crop.
Even when I feel
melon-choly and blue,
I know I've got a friend
who's truly grape and true.
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#PowerOfWords
#WritersBlock
#WritingPoetry
44 reads
6 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 5:44pm
25th Jan 2025 5:44pm
So funny! Let's laugh!
I went to nightshift
To hear people laugh at someone
Who needed help.
Just to have those same people,
Turn around and try and "help" me.
And they wonder why I hate them.
Hahahaha!!!!
To hear people laugh at someone
Who needed help.
Just to have those same people,
Turn around and try and "help" me.
And they wonder why I hate them.
Hahahaha!!!!
#dark
#funny
60 reads
12 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
Holes
"So, young lady, you aim to tidy up your flat?"
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#prose #satirical
#prose #satirical
23 reads
0 Comments
Pete_25
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 9:59am
25th Jan 2025 9:59am
The Great North Sperm Race
Swimming around day in, day out
Stuck to these dark dingy balls
Give me a hand, I need to escape
These slippery slimy walls
There's been a steward's enquiry, photo finish
With plenty of false empty starts
Losing count, the amount of times
I've seen legs spread open apart
Starting orders at the race line
Sporting my sixty-nine vest
Hoping that this bloody time
I'll finish ahead of the rest
(COMMENTARY)
BANG, THEY'RE OFF
A STEEP CLIMB UPTO PLUM HILLS
DUCKING AND DIVING, A FEW TAIL...
Stuck to these dark dingy balls
Give me a hand, I need to escape
These slippery slimy walls
There's been a steward's enquiry, photo finish
With plenty of false empty starts
Losing count, the amount of times
I've seen legs spread open apart
Starting orders at the race line
Sporting my sixty-nine vest
Hoping that this bloody time
I'll finish ahead of the rest
(COMMENTARY)
BANG, THEY'RE OFF
A STEEP CLIMB UPTO PLUM HILLS
DUCKING AND DIVING, A FEW TAIL...
#funny
71 reads
16 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
24th Jan 2025 6:34pm
24th Jan 2025 6:34pm
Hey!
Hey!
I need attention every 5 minutes!
I incriminate everyone i talk to.
I'm totally under cover.
Just watch me every night.
My friends aren't too bright.
Hopefully my enemies don't want to fight.
Your attention has me high as a kite.
My sister is a ticket to my rights.
She's not mentally there enough,
To realize I'm the parasite!
Maybe someone will save her.
She's a sorry sight.
Maybe someone will embrace her,
Once I'm kicked aside.
I need attention every 5 minutes!
I incriminate everyone i talk to.
I'm totally under cover.
Just watch me every night.
My friends aren't too bright.
Hopefully my enemies don't want to fight.
Your attention has me high as a kite.
My sister is a ticket to my rights.
She's not mentally there enough,
To realize I'm the parasite!
Maybe someone will save her.
She's a sorry sight.
Maybe someone will embrace her,
Once I'm kicked aside.
#funny
#TruthOfLife
61 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
