Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
PAR
Poem Published
27th Jan 2025 3:14pm
27th Jan 2025 3:14pm
Pun blossom
In the garden of words
I plant a pun or two
Cultivating humor
with a laugh that's overdue.
I carrot all about you
you make my heart beet
lettuce turnip the fun
don't squash the upbeat.
You’re a-maize-ing.
A real fungi to be with.
Mushroom for love
in our punny myth.
You're the apple of my pie,
the cherry on top.
Together we’re grapeful,
we’re the cream of the crop.
Even when I feel
melon-choly and blue,
I know I've got a friend
who's truly grape and true.
I plant a pun or two
Cultivating humor
with a laugh that's overdue.
I carrot all about you
you make my heart beet
lettuce turnip the fun
don't squash the upbeat.
You’re a-maize-ing.
A real fungi to be with.
Mushroom for love
in our punny myth.
You're the apple of my pie,
the cherry on top.
Together we’re grapeful,
we’re the cream of the crop.
Even when I feel
melon-choly and blue,
I know I've got a friend
who's truly grape and true.
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#PowerOfWords
#WritersBlock
#WritingPoetry
54 reads
6 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 5:44pm
25th Jan 2025 5:44pm
So funny! Let's laugh!
I went to nightshift
To hear people laugh at someone
Who needed help.
Just to have those same people,
Turn around and try and "help" me.
And they wonder why I hate them.
Hahahaha!!!!
To hear people laugh at someone
Who needed help.
Just to have those same people,
Turn around and try and "help" me.
And they wonder why I hate them.
Hahahaha!!!!
#dark
#funny
64 reads
12 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
Holes
"So, young lady, you aim to tidy up your flat?"
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#prose #satirical
#prose #satirical
30 reads
0 Comments
Pete_25
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 9:59am
25th Jan 2025 9:59am
The Great North Sperm Race
Swimming around day in, day out
Stuck to these dark dingy balls
Give me a hand, I need to escape
These slippery slimy walls
There's been a steward's enquiry, photo finish
With plenty of false empty starts
Losing count, the amount of times
I've seen legs spread open apart
Starting orders at the race line
Sporting my sixty-nine vest
Hoping that this bloody time
I'll finish ahead of the rest
(COMMENTARY)
BANG, THEY'RE OFF
A STEEP CLIMB UPTO PLUM HILLS
DUCKING AND DIVING, A FEW TAIL...
Stuck to these dark dingy balls
Give me a hand, I need to escape
These slippery slimy walls
There's been a steward's enquiry, photo finish
With plenty of false empty starts
Losing count, the amount of times
I've seen legs spread open apart
Starting orders at the race line
Sporting my sixty-nine vest
Hoping that this bloody time
I'll finish ahead of the rest
(COMMENTARY)
BANG, THEY'RE OFF
A STEEP CLIMB UPTO PLUM HILLS
DUCKING AND DIVING, A FEW TAIL...
#funny
80 reads
16 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
24th Jan 2025 6:34pm
24th Jan 2025 6:34pm
Hey!
Hey!
I need attention every 5 minutes!
I incriminate everyone i talk to.
I'm totally under cover.
Just watch me every night.
My friends aren't too bright.
Hopefully my enemies don't want to fight.
Your attention has me high as a kite.
My sister is a ticket to my rights.
She's not mentally there enough,
To realize I'm the parasite!
Maybe someone will save her.
She's a sorry sight.
Maybe someone will embrace her,
Once I'm kicked aside.
I need attention every 5 minutes!
I incriminate everyone i talk to.
I'm totally under cover.
Just watch me every night.
My friends aren't too bright.
Hopefully my enemies don't want to fight.
Your attention has me high as a kite.
My sister is a ticket to my rights.
She's not mentally there enough,
To realize I'm the parasite!
Maybe someone will save her.
She's a sorry sight.
Maybe someone will embrace her,
Once I'm kicked aside.
#funny
#TruthOfLife
67 reads
4 Comments
Mstrmnd1923
Poem Published
24th Jan 2025 6:11am
24th Jan 2025 6:11am
Cringe and Punishment
In the kingdom of Punlandia
While drinking their drafts
Joked punsters and jesters
Who loved a good laugh
They'd quip and they'd quibble
With tongues sharp as knives
Creating wordplay and puns
To the groans of their wives
"Why did the scarecrow become a politician"
One asked in jest
"Because he was outstanding in his field
You must attest"
The groans were aplenty
The cringe it did grow
As puns kept on coming
Like an unstoppable flow
"Why don't scientists trust...
While drinking their drafts
Joked punsters and jesters
Who loved a good laugh
They'd quip and they'd quibble
With tongues sharp as knives
Creating wordplay and puns
To the groans of their wives
"Why did the scarecrow become a politician"
One asked in jest
"Because he was outstanding in his field
You must attest"
The groans were aplenty
The cringe it did grow
As puns kept on coming
Like an unstoppable flow
"Why don't scientists trust...
#funny
62 reads
2 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
24th Jan 2025 4:59am
24th Jan 2025 4:59am
Addicted
A dick said I'm messed up in the head.
That was food for thought,
Then I went to bed.
I dreamed of a keg.
Chugging on the barstool,
With a broken leg.
I won that race.
I don't need to eat the veg.
Just praise the Lord, Alcohol, i pledge.
A dick said he wanted me to be happy.
So he emotionally trapped me.
In an empty keg.
On a broken barstool.
Underfed.
So I praised the Lord, Alcohol, instead.
Lmao
That was food for thought,
Then I went to bed.
I dreamed of a keg.
Chugging on the barstool,
With a broken leg.
I won that race.
I don't need to eat the veg.
Just praise the Lord, Alcohol, i pledge.
A dick said he wanted me to be happy.
So he emotionally trapped me.
In an empty keg.
On a broken barstool.
Underfed.
So I praised the Lord, Alcohol, instead.
Lmao
#alcohol
#funny
66 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
Windswept
Better
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
45 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:57pm
Malicia McFee
Poor Malicia McFee
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
She drowned in bed, in solitary
A series of serious
Hot water bottle bursts
Caused Malicia to utter
A quite quiet silent curse
As a deluge of tepid water
Engulfed her in her sleep
She drowned quietly
Like an old ship
The rubber had proffered warmth
But no buoyancy
The quilt that had kept her safe
Now drowned her, beneath this tepid wave
Her lover had found her looking deflated
Although her lover, thought her much over-rated
He returned Malicia, to the town of her birth
Along with an unpaid...
#funny
#satirical
#surreal
23 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
21st Jan 2025 1:25pm
21st Jan 2025 1:25pm
Alien Fairies
Alien fairies, like eartbound fairies dwell
They have certain differences, one can easily tell
They have extra wings, that grow on their feet as well
Even their ears could flap, and hover in any position
Squeezing through the smallest of gaps, with no disposition
They could speak in twenty-five languages
That nobody could understand
Apart from parts of deep space
Where all twenty-five languages, are banned!
They've thrown some quite wild parties
Quaffing much mead by the quart
As they played their flirtatious harps
Of a very...
They have certain differences, one can easily tell
They have extra wings, that grow on their feet as well
Even their ears could flap, and hover in any position
Squeezing through the smallest of gaps, with no disposition
They could speak in twenty-five languages
That nobody could understand
Apart from parts of deep space
Where all twenty-five languages, are banned!
They've thrown some quite wild parties
Quaffing much mead by the quart
As they played their flirtatious harps
Of a very...
#aliens
#fairies
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#surreal
45 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
Windy Hollow!
More
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
39 reads
0 Comments
Pete_25
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 8:13am
20th Jan 2025 8:13am
In Session
Take a look inside my mind
The devil's got a hold on me
"Take a seat, try and relax
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
There's a place, there's a time
You possess the magic key
"Open up, look at me
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
Clean my mind, cleanse those thoughts
Set those little demons free
"You're discharged, demonic free
Did you like my funny tea?"
The devil's got a hold on me
"Take a seat, try and relax
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
There's a place, there's a time
You possess the magic key
"Open up, look at me
Have a sip of my herbal tea"
Clean my mind, cleanse those thoughts
Set those little demons free
"You're discharged, demonic free
Did you like my funny tea?"
#emotions
#funny
89 reads
8 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
