Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#funny
funny seeking friendly advice poems. Friendly advice and comments have been requested for these poems.
MalcolmG
Poem Published
6th Mar 2025 00:31am
6th Mar 2025 00:31am
IRONIC ISNT IT
Sometimes Irony and Murphy’s Law
lend to each other.
The blind man leads the deaf man,
they debate honest politics
one can’t see, the other can’t hear,
while they are nicely seated
at the corners of the round table,
which has no corners but still divides.
The preacher damns the sinners
between paid confessions and rented beds,
his sermon reeks of whiskey and perfume.
He calls it redemption; she calls it a Tuesday.
The poet bleeds words,
the painter stains canvas,
the whore does both, but she’s still...
lend to each other.
The blind man leads the deaf man,
they debate honest politics
one can’t see, the other can’t hear,
while they are nicely seated
at the corners of the round table,
which has no corners but still divides.
The preacher damns the sinners
between paid confessions and rented beds,
his sermon reeks of whiskey and perfume.
He calls it redemption; she calls it a Tuesday.
The poet bleeds words,
the painter stains canvas,
the whore does both, but she’s still...
#funny
#satirical
#TruthOfLife
43 reads
6 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
5th Mar 2025 6:48pm
5th Mar 2025 6:48pm
Sprung
Had a spring clean today!
After a quick look around
And to my surprise
Found a small spring
Lain upon the bedroom carpet
In a curious looking pose
So i picked it up
Saw that it was a bit grubby
And cleaned it
So now it's as bouncy as
A spring lamb
Or a ball
Or a spring!
by Jemia
After a quick look around
And to my surprise
Found a small spring
Lain upon the bedroom carpet
In a curious looking pose
So i picked it up
Saw that it was a bit grubby
And cleaned it
So now it's as bouncy as
A spring lamb
Or a ball
Or a spring!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #spring
#satirical #spring
15 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Mar 2025 2:00am
4th Mar 2025 2:00am
A Letter From An Elf
"How come
You write about
Fairies, pixies, witches
Dragons, mermaids etc.?"
".What is wrong
With us elves?"
"Are you elfist?"
Signed
Alf the elf...
"Dear ELF, named Alf"
"I'm so sorry you feel
LEFt on the shELF
I blame it on mysELF
Due to poor ELF
And little wELF!
I will endeavour
In future
To be less sELFish
And more ELFish!"
by Jemia
You write about
Fairies, pixies, witches
Dragons, mermaids etc.?"
".What is wrong
With us elves?"
"Are you elfist?"
Signed
Alf the elf...
"Dear ELF, named Alf"
"I'm so sorry you feel
LEFt on the shELF
I blame it on mysELF
Due to poor ELF
And little wELF!
I will endeavour
In future
To be less sELFish
And more ELFish!"
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #surreal
#parody #surreal
38 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Mar 2025 1:27am
4th Mar 2025 1:27am
Alienated!
I was abducted by aliens last night!!!!
They told me
They had come
To suck out my brains!
After much jabbering
Amongst themselves
And a few,
Seemingly harmless experiments
Where i presume
They were testing my brain output etc
They suddenly returned to Earth
Let me leave their spaceship aka ufo
Without saying a word?
So i asked
"I thought you were going to suck out my brains!"
"Yes earthling, we were
But decided on this occasion
It wasn't worth it.........
by Jemia
They told me
They had come
To suck out my brains!
After much jabbering
Amongst themselves
And a few,
Seemingly harmless experiments
Where i presume
They were testing my brain output etc
They suddenly returned to Earth
Let me leave their spaceship aka ufo
Without saying a word?
So i asked
"I thought you were going to suck out my brains!"
"Yes earthling, we were
But decided on this occasion
It wasn't worth it.........
by Jemia
#aliens
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
33 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Mar 2025 4:15pm
3rd Mar 2025 4:15pm
Gummy Bare!
I dreamt of romance last night
It was of someone i know!
Yet ten years ago, or so
I read on a dating site
That if age was a factor
And should it work right
Then by a rough rule of thumb
That they should be no younger than some
That are half your age old
Plus seven years added, to be told
Working on this basis
And some
Straightforward
Arithmatical sums
Then my potential partner
Will be at least 129 years old
But with possible healthy gums!
by Jemia
It was of someone i know!
Yet ten years ago, or so
I read on a dating site
That if age was a factor
And should it work right
Then by a rough rule of thumb
That they should be no younger than some
That are half your age old
Plus seven years added, to be told
Working on this basis
And some
Straightforward
Arithmatical sums
Then my potential partner
Will be at least 129 years old
But with possible healthy gums!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#romantic #satirical
#romantic #satirical
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Mar 2025 4:52pm
2nd Mar 2025 4:52pm
Hops!
Into the woods
Where lay
Folk of another kind of ethereal
Who every morning
Had cornflakes
As their cereal
Although some would forage
Opting instead
For frogs legs porridge!
by Jemia
Where lay
Folk of another kind of ethereal
Who every morning
Had cornflakes
As their cereal
Although some would forage
Opting instead
For frogs legs porridge!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#magic #surreal
#magic #surreal
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st Mar 2025 1:46am
1st Mar 2025 1:46am
Mirrors
I went along to join a new group recently
I may of misread the details though
What i thought was a writing group of sorts
As about a dozen of us turned up
Some looked a bit long in the tooth
And a bit pale, and actually quite goth-like
So i thought okay, i'm here now,
So decided to go along for the ride
They soon started talking about bats
Which sounded quite interesting
Especially about bats in the attic
And how 8uncomfortable they found it
I thought they were concerned at their plight
But it turned out i was seriously wrong...
I may of misread the details though
What i thought was a writing group of sorts
As about a dozen of us turned up
Some looked a bit long in the tooth
And a bit pale, and actually quite goth-like
So i thought okay, i'm here now,
So decided to go along for the ride
They soon started talking about bats
Which sounded quite interesting
Especially about bats in the attic
And how 8uncomfortable they found it
I thought they were concerned at their plight
But it turned out i was seriously wrong...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#surreal
#vampires
32 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Feb 2025 2:15am
28th Feb 2025 2:15am
Timeless
Watched
a
programme
All
about
infinity
Went
on
for
ages!
by Jemia
a
programme
All
about
infinity
Went
on
for
ages!
by Jemia
#funny
#philosophical
#universe
46 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
25th Feb 2025 4:45pm
25th Feb 2025 4:45pm
Purrfectly Quackers!
When i had cats
I used to be able
To purr with them
Just like that!
Whilst a meandering
Down memory lane
I tried purring
But just sounded insane!
Like a bad impersonation
Of Donald Duck
Quack quack quck!
by Jemia
I used to be able
To purr with them
Just like that!
Whilst a meandering
Down memory lane
I tried purring
But just sounded insane!
Like a bad impersonation
Of Donald Duck
Quack quack quck!
by Jemia
#cats
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #memories
#LifeAsAWriter #memories
47 reads
0 Comments
Pishashee
Poem Published
25th Feb 2025 4:34pm
25th Feb 2025 4:34pm
Intentionally
I walked in,
down
the
stairs.
And without falling, I said,
"I'm going away now,
I'll finish this
conversation
with myself later."
down
the
stairs.
And without falling, I said,
"I'm going away now,
I'll finish this
conversation
with myself later."
#BestFriend
#funny
83 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
24th Feb 2025 2:04pm
24th Feb 2025 2:04pm
Getting Wet?
I'm chewing away
Like a ruminating cow
That hasn't been milked
For quite a while
A ponder in a pond
A fool in a pool
A commotion in the ocean
The luna in the sea!
A quiver in the river
A quake in a lake
What kind of poem is this?
For goodness sake!
by Jemia
Like a ruminating cow
That hasn't been milked
For quite a while
A ponder in a pond
A fool in a pool
A commotion in the ocean
The luna in the sea!
A quiver in the river
A quake in a lake
What kind of poem is this?
For goodness sake!
by Jemia
#funny
#inspirational
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#WritingPoetry
56 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Feb 2025 4:30pm
23rd Feb 2025 4:30pm
Pigeon Holed
Oh dear
It's near
To that time of year
When the pigeons
Start performing
Life sex shows
On my balcony! (not an euphemism!)
It's like pigeon pie
In the sky
Coo!
by Jemia
It's near
To that time of year
When the pigeons
Start performing
Life sex shows
On my balcony! (not an euphemism!)
It's like pigeon pie
In the sky
Coo!
by Jemia
#birds
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #sex
#LifeAsAWriter #sex
47 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
