Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#funny
funny seeking friendly advice poems. Friendly advice and comments have been requested for these poems.
Pinkdreams
Poem Published
Today 5:44am
Today 5:44am
The Punctuation Guy
His dating profile was a little more interesting than most
Played the banjo
In a touring act with his sons
Also a visual artist
Several pictures of cute pets
Sure, I'll check him out
It was twenty years ago
Twenty five years?
How did we communicate back then
Some version of online chat I guess.
His opening line to me:
How are you this evening?????????
Yes.
Really that many.
Um, good. Thanks.
Glad to hear that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
Played the banjo
In a touring act with his sons
Also a visual artist
Several pictures of cute pets
Sure, I'll check him out
It was twenty years ago
Twenty five years?
How did we communicate back then
Some version of online chat I guess.
His opening line to me:
How are you this evening?????????
Yes.
Really that many.
Um, good. Thanks.
Glad to hear that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
...
#dating
#funny
15 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 1:41pm
Yesterday 1:41pm
Greetings Earthlings!
I sometimes wonder (i actually wonder a lot!)
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
#funny
#philosophical
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
4 reads
0 Comments
Girthquake
Poem Published
Yesterday 7:49am
Yesterday 7:49am
Tales of Torture Vol. V
#BDSM
#erotic
#funny #sex
#funny #sex
71 reads
0 Comments
Girthquake
Poem Published
Yesterday 7:44am
Yesterday 7:44am
New Year
#BDSM
#dirty
#funny
#satirical
#sex
76 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
12th Jan 2025 1:03pm
12th Jan 2025 1:03pm
'I' Blames The BBC!
Since when
Did the first letter I
Become silent
In the word medicine?
Now pronounced as: medcine
Therefore:
Medcine ball?
Medcine doctor etc?
It's wrong!
Bring back the 'I'
Let it live again!
Poor thing, being ghosted like that...
'I' blames the BBC!
by Jemia
Did the first letter I
Become silent
In the word medicine?
Now pronounced as: medcine
Therefore:
Medcine ball?
Medcine doctor etc?
It's wrong!
Bring back the 'I'
Let it live again!
Poor thing, being ghosted like that...
'I' blames the BBC!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#PowerOfWords #satirical
#PowerOfWords #satirical
35 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
Pats On The Back!
Discovered
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
22 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 12:55pm
9th Jan 2025 12:55pm
Some Like It To Hot!
I have an orgy every night!
With oft times three joining me
One either side, and one betwixt my thighs
Things get very hot, especially with all that rubber!
Hoping for no leakages, replacements come cheap
I once was joined by four!
Things got really hot!
So i limit my orgies to just three, and me!
Or sometimes a simple menage a troix
When i was younger
I used to make do with one, which was fun
But with age, tis all the rage
To become more adventurous
And no longer limit myself
On how many hot water bottles
I go to bed...
With oft times three joining me
One either side, and one betwixt my thighs
Things get very hot, especially with all that rubber!
Hoping for no leakages, replacements come cheap
I once was joined by four!
Things got really hot!
So i limit my orgies to just three, and me!
Or sometimes a simple menage a troix
When i was younger
I used to make do with one, which was fun
But with age, tis all the rage
To become more adventurous
And no longer limit myself
On how many hot water bottles
I go to bed...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #sexy
#satirical #sexy
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Cheeky!
I don't like bums!
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#PowerOfWords
#satirical
25 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
August 31st 2019 (Big Camp)
Five days after performing at Hastings Pride
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
#funny
#happiness
#holiday
#LifeAsAWriter
#music
20 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
Going Batty
There's an antique bat
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
26 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
Am Bi?
Ambivert
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #satirical
#parody #satirical
22 reads
0 Comments
Shon
Poem Published
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
Your a poet.
Your
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#uplifting
23 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
