Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#funny
funny seeking friendly advice poems. Friendly advice and comments have been requested for these poems.
brokentitanium
k.
k.
Poem Published
22nd Apr 2025 4:52pm
22nd Apr 2025 4:52pm
I'll never get around to leaving you
that book I never finished
that jar of rubber bands
those craft supplies I said I’d give away
the left-handed golf clubs
the watermelon cookbook
the ugly blanket my old friend crocheted
I never got around to learning Spanish
I have a closet full of worn-out shoes
the waffle iron’s safe, and so are you, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you
I never got around to playing tennis
I have a planner from 2002
The croquet set’s still here, and so am I, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you.
...
that jar of rubber bands
those craft supplies I said I’d give away
the left-handed golf clubs
the watermelon cookbook
the ugly blanket my old friend crocheted
I never got around to learning Spanish
I have a closet full of worn-out shoes
the waffle iron’s safe, and so are you, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you
I never got around to playing tennis
I have a planner from 2002
The croquet set’s still here, and so am I, babe –
I’ll never get around to leaving you.
...
#ADHD
#funny
#marriage
75 reads
5 Comments
Gahddess_Worship
Poem Published
18th Apr 2025 8:50am
18th Apr 2025 8:50am
Dang!
In a right panic
I burst through the door
of my quaint cottage
wearing only my striped nightshirt
and worn flip-flops
nearly slipping on the cobblestones
of my peaceful seaside village
awakened by the town crier, Stan
as he shouted, in his deep Bass-Baritone,
“It's midnight and all is well…except poet Bob
forgot again”
the agitated butcher, Lou
flings open his window
vehemently shushing
the crestfallen versifier
to himself whispering
“Absent mindedness
will be the death of that man” ...
I burst through the door
of my quaint cottage
wearing only my striped nightshirt
and worn flip-flops
nearly slipping on the cobblestones
of my peaceful seaside village
awakened by the town crier, Stan
as he shouted, in his deep Bass-Baritone,
“It's midnight and all is well…except poet Bob
forgot again”
the agitated butcher, Lou
flings open his window
vehemently shushing
the crestfallen versifier
to himself whispering
“Absent mindedness
will be the death of that man” ...
#funny
58 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
15th Apr 2025 00:11am
15th Apr 2025 00:11am
Transitional
Alternative Trans Dictionary
Transmogrification------------Trans werewolf
Trans Siberian Railway------Trans trains
Transistor Radio----------------A radio belonging to a trans persons sister
Transcript-------------------------Trans person burial chamber
Transferral-------------------------Trans person going wild
Transfigure------------------------Hormones
Transform--------------------------See above
Transit------------------------------Not relating to seating
Transit Camp----------------------A camp trans person not sitting ...
Transmogrification------------Trans werewolf
Trans Siberian Railway------Trans trains
Transistor Radio----------------A radio belonging to a trans persons sister
Transcript-------------------------Trans person burial chamber
Transferral-------------------------Trans person going wild
Transfigure------------------------Hormones
Transform--------------------------See above
Transit------------------------------Not relating to seating
Transit Camp----------------------A camp trans person not sitting ...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #transgender
#satirical #transgender
43 reads
0 Comments
PoetsRevenge
Poem Published
12th Apr 2025 5:32am
12th Apr 2025 5:32am
Miniver Cheesy
I
Miniver longed for what he had once
simple plays and something greasy
He bid a glance toward happiness
and gave in so easy.
It was his nature to forget those days
and ever in short was appeasing
true fast food and rented movies seemed
simply more pleasing.
Pretty women and young guns
riding the miles high in achieving
to entertain the furtive vein
and in that exceeding.
II
When robot men and hooded grey cloaks
were the butt of endless jokes
and pepperoni...
Miniver longed for what he had once
simple plays and something greasy
He bid a glance toward happiness
and gave in so easy.
It was his nature to forget those days
and ever in short was appeasing
true fast food and rented movies seemed
simply more pleasing.
Pretty women and young guns
riding the miles high in achieving
to entertain the furtive vein
and in that exceeding.
II
When robot men and hooded grey cloaks
were the butt of endless jokes
and pepperoni...
#funny
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
6th Apr 2025 9:07pm
6th Apr 2025 9:07pm
The Horny Poet
The
horny
narwhal
Writing
much
erotic
verse
With
octopus
ink
by Jemia
horny
narwhal
Writing
much
erotic
verse
With
octopus
ink
by Jemia
#fish
#funny
#satirical #WritingPoetry
#satirical #WritingPoetry
50 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st Apr 2025 3:00pm
1st Apr 2025 3:00pm
Bear, Bare Truths
Just
like
Paddington
I
love
toast,
and
marmalade!
Fur
free
derriere?
by Jemia
like
Paddington
I
love
toast,
and
marmalade!
Fur
free
derriere?
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#parody #satirical
#parody #satirical
47 reads
0 Comments
Pinkdreams
Poem Published
30th Mar 2025 2:27am
30th Mar 2025 2:27am
A Waitress Named Raisin
My sister works in public health
I work in public education
We hear a lot of weird names
We like texting them to each other:
I have a new client whose son's name is Marco Polo
Marco! Polo!
That's awesome I text back
Perhaps he'll summon ancient memories of his adventures on the Silk Road
A few weeks back I'd texted her one:
There's a new student at my school named Gorgeous!
J texts back the inevitable: Is she?
She's just okay.
And so on.
So when I arrive before my friend at the breakfast...
I work in public education
We hear a lot of weird names
We like texting them to each other:
I have a new client whose son's name is Marco Polo
Marco! Polo!
That's awesome I text back
Perhaps he'll summon ancient memories of his adventures on the Silk Road
A few weeks back I'd texted her one:
There's a new student at my school named Gorgeous!
J texts back the inevitable: Is she?
She's just okay.
And so on.
So when I arrive before my friend at the breakfast...
#aging
#funny
100 reads
3 Comments
brokentitanium
k.
k.
Poem Published
28th Mar 2025 6:23pm
28th Mar 2025 6:23pm
Weird Canadian Fridge Poetry
Love is a stampede
of beautiful geese
destroying my igloo
Chill, eh?
Hold my beer,
this lumberjack is fierce.
Sorry, cowboy.
.
of beautiful geese
destroying my igloo
Chill, eh?
Hold my beer,
this lumberjack is fierce.
Sorry, cowboy.
.
#dragons
#funny
#inspirational
#LifeGoals
#rebellion
118 reads
11 Comments
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Reggie
Poem Published
25th Mar 2025 2:33am
25th Mar 2025 2:33am
The Best Girl, Her Master, His Wife & Her Lover
#BDSM
#funny
#rhyming
#dark
#ShortStory
239 reads
3 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Mar 2025 6:53pm
23rd Mar 2025 6:53pm
Frozen in time
From my bedroom window
I look upon
Hastings castle ruins
The view from my window
The ruins appear as a
Giant sleeping Hermaphrodite
Sculptured in stone
Song:
Head, shoulders, tits, and toes
Tits, and toes
(Repeat once...)
And eyes, and ears
And penis, and nose
Head, shoulders, tits, and toes
Tits, and toes....
by Jemia
I look upon
Hastings castle ruins
The view from my window
The ruins appear as a
Giant sleeping Hermaphrodite
Sculptured in stone
Song:
Head, shoulders, tits, and toes
Tits, and toes
(Repeat once...)
And eyes, and ears
And penis, and nose
Head, shoulders, tits, and toes
Tits, and toes....
by Jemia
#funny
#LGBT
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
64 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Mar 2025 11:59pm
22nd Mar 2025 11:59pm
Lucky Lucy!
It appeared to be an ordinary
Very cute maturing kitten
Everyone that saw it
Were instantly smitten
What no-one realised
The secret behind this pet
That hadn't been diagnosed yet
This puss, had been born a pup
Part shihtzu, part bulldog
The complicated op was worth
As she was able to give birth
After first canging her name
From Lucky to Lucy
Which looked nearly the same
She was at last fully feline
Later giving birth
To four pupkits (for what it's worth!)
Part Bulldog
Part Shihtzu
Part Cat ...
Very cute maturing kitten
Everyone that saw it
Were instantly smitten
What no-one realised
The secret behind this pet
That hadn't been diagnosed yet
This puss, had been born a pup
Part shihtzu, part bulldog
The complicated op was worth
As she was able to give birth
After first canging her name
From Lucky to Lucy
Which looked nearly the same
She was at last fully feline
Later giving birth
To four pupkits (for what it's worth!)
Part Bulldog
Part Shihtzu
Part Cat ...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
55 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Mar 2025 5:51pm
20th Mar 2025 5:51pm
Going Apeshit!
Archaic arcadian ancestors
Dwelt within their arcady
(This whilst in the OED
on Archimedes Screw!)
I also found Arcane
A secret known to a few
Accidentally rediscovered
In London Zoo
Within the monkey cage
Where-in was placed
Darwins loo!
by Jemia
Dwelt within their arcady
(This whilst in the OED
on Archimedes Screw!)
I also found Arcane
A secret known to a few
Accidentally rediscovered
In London Zoo
Within the monkey cage
Where-in was placed
Darwins loo!
by Jemia
#funny
#philosophical
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
62 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
