Resistance

I've tried my whole life to be fun, silly, goofy, and just have some laughs,  
I've never done anything bad to get my laughs,  
Just told G or PG rated jokes, but I've always known when to be silly  
And when not to be silly  

...Or at least I thought I did.  
 
Is life nothing but being somber, skeptical, angry, and serious?  
Where's the love of life, precious?  
 
I've talked to myself my whole life,  
Thought out loud my whole life,  
Told that I got it from my grandmother on my Dad's side,  
That she did it her whole life, she wasn't on the crazy side  
Of life,  
Not off the deep end of life.  
Studies have shown that people who talk to themselves are highly intelligent and produce better works, in life,  
All my life  
I've heard that I should be proud of who I am,  
And more and more people, celebrities, and movie/TV/Book characters are being "real", is it all just a scam?  
Why is it wrong when I talk to myself or lightly joke around when I'm playing a video game?  
People get paid to do it on the internet, is it not the same?  
Why do you think things in your head,  
Then later, yell at me for interrupting your train of thought with my spoken thoughts, when you never said  
Anything to indicate you needed a moment to think?  
Everyone else does it. "Give me a second, I'm trying to think."  
"Give me a second to think."  
"Can you give me a second? I'm trying to think."  
"Wait...."  
"Hold on...."  
"Let me think about that...."  
Aren't those some of the things most people say when they need to think about or remember something?  
So why can't you say something?  
Is it because you know I'll understand, and give you a minute or two or however much time of silence you need, and you won't have a reason to get mad and control me?  
You say when I get out in the real world, people are going to think I'm stupid when they hear me talk to myself,  
So, let me get this straight, I'm wrong for being myself?  
I've always been proud of talking to myself.  
You recently asked why I don't pluck or shave the slight hairs I have between my eyebrows,  
And bit your tongue when I got pierced, one of my brows.  
I identify as both man and woman, just the way I am,  
Yet at this time, you seem to think that whether one is born a gender  
Or is transgender,  
If they have fully female parts, they are female,  
And if they have fully male parts, they are male.  
I'm afraid to come out to you as part male,  
Afraid I'll get a "scientific" explanation, or be picked apart with questions until I give up and say I'm female.  
I've got nothing wrong with science,  
But isn't mental health and feelings also a science?  
You don't approve of my being different,  
Yet you want me to make my mark on the world, I don't want to be silent.  
I don't want to be hairless between my brows, and on my body.  
I'm not just anybody,  
I'm me.  
I don't want to have just my ears pierced, I want to be me.  
I don't want to identify just as female,  
I am male and female.  
I want to live, not just exist,  
You want to see me grow and reach my full potential, so why resist?