Clichéd voices

Talk to us from the POV (Point of View) as one of the following clichéd characters.
NO OTHERS RULES OR RESTRICTIONS

1. DAMSEL-IN-DISTRESS: The swooning, pretty, victimised, damsel-in-distress.
2. ORPHAN BOY: The poor, little, desperate, orphan boy.
3. REBEL: The leather-clad, bad, biker boy rebel without a cause.
4. CASANOVA: The seductive, 'foreign', romantic, casanova lover-boy.
5. WISE OLD WOMAN: The creepy, old, hunched woman with wise words.
6. SIDEKICK: The loveable, chubby, funny, reliable sidekick.
7. QUIRKY GIRL: The misunderstood, quirky, off-beat, dreamy, indie girl.
8. MIDDLE-AGED GUY: The 'red sportscar-owning', middle-aged, average guy in life crisis.
9.  NERD: The shy, O.C.D., neurotic, intellectual, bookish nerd with glasses.
10. MOTHER: The caring but overbearing, doting, overprotective mother.

#3


             
              thunder & chrome


always in trouble, loner on the outside
with his rebel yell & his outlaw pride

the harley he rode on was thunder & chrome
the highways of hell were never his home

one night he spotted thick smoke in the air
an orphans’ home blazing, & no one else there

he ran thru the flames without self-regard
he knew death was easy, only livin was hard

he got 7 kids out, but 1 was still cryin
so he figured: hell, it’s a good night for dyin

the moan was a cat, exclaiming its fright
he tossed it out to the sheltering night

then the house caved in. his vision went black
the fire consumed him. he ain’t comin back

               *  *  *

on stormy nights, you still hear his cry
thunder & chrome.   rider in the sky

#10

Before I was a mom


Before I was a Mom -
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.
Before I was a Mom -
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on - Pooped on - Spit on - Chewed on, or Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and My thoughts.
I slept all night.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests...or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.
Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important.
Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known The warmth,
The joy, The love,
The heartache, The wonderment
or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom

[#3]


assholes


I awoke
with my spinal cord
detached
from the stem
of a once
beautiful
rose

bitter brae`s
have lost
their dimension
of poetry

water writhes
trying
to break free
from the depth
of its
arid ocean

and I'm dying
for a thirst
of your
misery

'cause I have this poem here
see

but you`d rather I recite
the deficit
of poets
with ingenious titles

I don't have time
to be
what's proper

time is ticking
and the world is running out
of assholes
to shove my poetry in

#9

Sex Kitten & the Geek

She purrs and she slinks in circles
observing the fit of his clothes

as much in awe of he as the
bespectacled scholar is of she.

Their orbits intersect at odd angles,
compelling them to eye each other  
with a distance-enhancing foreplay.  
 
She curls round him to listen, more by
feeling his heat than to learn, yet his
words are more than she bargains for.    
 
Taking in the scent she relays,  
he tells of his programming tasks,  
 
complying with curves of intent,  
responding in kind to her signals:  
 
I've added to what you might get,  
changing all of the places I'd cast.  
 
The parameter's a small structure,  
the second being a pointer.  
 
She blinks at him, looking askance;  
Why yes sir, please, do tell me more.  
 
He goes on: To an interface, extracting
messages without doing one receive call.  
 
Her voice goes all breathy,  
You don't really mean!  
 
He nods, I do indeed, and I hope    
I am clear, if I may continue, my dear.

She sucks on her tongue and smiles
at the blush on his cheeks,  
 
We seem to have two separate issues;
the root cause, an iteration data-set that exceeds a preset maximum string,

and that isn't the only thing.

You see, where the threads grasp the semaphore
thus enhancing their con-currencies, whereupon
each of them enters a critical section.

The body of his comely guest is    
writhing all over his station  
while he tries to stay focused at best.

Excitement grows with each gasp that
escapes from her heaving chest.  
 
Please tell me all that you know,  
the font of your mind enraptures me so!  
 
He licks his lips, his brain a-spin:
With your permission then,
if I may start again.

.

#8
"The car's in the Driveway, the Wax in my Hand"

The car's in the driveway,the wax in my hand
The red of my Ferrarri makes me feel like a man
We go to drive-in movies, just me and the car
Not only is she gorgeous but she sure drives me far
I wash it every sunday,
While the sun is still beaming
While my wife sits inside mumbling something demeaning

The car's in the driveway, the wax in my hand
The red of my Ferrarri makes me feel like a man
I like to think I own this town called suburbia
The ultimate dad bod is perfectly superb-ia
The neighbors are jealous, I can tell by their stares
When i pull out of church I get some death glares

The car's in the driveway, the wax in my hand
The red of my Ferrarri makes me feel like a man
I'm just an average guy that cares about automobiles
So why do people get angry when I pump up the wheels?
My son wants to borrow it for prom, but of course I refuse
A beauty like her should not be abused

The car's in the driveway, the wax in my hand
The red of my Ferrarri makes me feel like a man
as I watch football My kids set the table
I just do nothing,but make bad puns when I'm able
They used to appreciate them or try to pretend,
But now they stare blankly and insults they send

The car's in the driveway, the wax in my hand
The red of my Ferrarri makes me feel like a man
My wife wants a divorce, but I refuse
We are Christian people, does she think we're jews?
I told her that statement she said i make no sense
But what am I supposed to do when the priests see me in church alone during lent?

The car's in the driveway, the wax in my hand
The red of my Ferrarri makes me feel like a man
I signed the papers, and a few weeks have passed
My son keeps asking about the car like a pain in my ass
I sit at the table, eat dinner Alone
The neighbors still stare, but for other reasons I'm told

The car's in the driveway, the wax in my hand
The red of my Ferrarri makes me feel like a man
Janet is gone and so is my family
Who knew living with just the car would be so lonely

TOGETHER (No. 10)

Darling! You're not listening to me: I had to do it,  
It wasn't a choice, honey - I didn't choose shit!  
 
Listen, I just really don't want to go on about that anymore,  
I want to know about you, How are you? I'm cool, what's the score?  
 
Are you sure you're okay? You've lost weight I can see,  
Are you coming down with something? Are you ill? C'mon tell me.  
 
What? Why are you harping on about that again?  
I've told you already, I had to. You'll want dinner soon, just say when.  
 
Okay, okay. It was because she wasn't good enough for you,  
You know that and she wouldn't go away when I asked her too.  
 
I asked her politely. I asked her to go.  
She said she was staying. I soon told her "no".  
 
She didn't back down, oh my love - she was ever so rude,  
Well, you know I don't stand that, it was a bad attitude!  
 
Listen to your mother! Don't interrupt me please.  
I'll clean up the blood later before anyone sees.  
 
Now, sweetie I wasn't sure what pudding you'd like, Semolina or Sticky Toffee?  
Come on you can treat yourself, just pick - which one will it be?  
 
Are we back to that? What again? You're overreacting this time,  
Oh Honey, I've done this before. You knew that didn't you and it all worked out fine.  
 
Gosh, darling! You didn't know? Pumpkin that so sweet and naive,  
Why do you think they all 'left'? That's the problem, they wouldn't leave.  
 
One was poisoned, one 'fell', each one of them planned,  
One crossed the road too early, each died at my hand.  
 
I killed your father too so it would be perfect - just you and me,  
No-one else will be good enough, my sweet - forever, it will be.  

#4

Unjustified Reputation

My body is splendid
My persona full of charm
To pleasure them is intended
So what is the harm

The girls all respond to my smiles
And climb into my bed
Show me their womanly whiles
And often give me head

They make me enter their passage
And seek to make me come
It's only a form of massage
And really is good fun.

I am a victim of their lust
They never let me rest
It really is quite unjust
To label me a pest

http://i1290.photobucket.com/albums/b536/1willybugger/ggg6316546813_zpsf5arpykk.png

9.  NERD

IRVINE VALENTINE
I was a very shy nerd girl from Irvine
Who had never received a Valentine
Till I wore a short skirt
And I began to flirt
Then I received one million ninety nine

#5

Dharma

Her soul is pure solitude
A home where trees meets
The granite fists of mountain Gods
Her eyes burn of near enlightenment
Of the cyclic nature of humanity's truth

She blesses the rain, the fog
The. Mosquitos the jackdaws and the frogs
Wishes for nothing only the warmth
Of a early morning sun,

She has no need to fill the void
For void is what it's
The true nature of things
And her wisdom expands
Watching, listening
To the silence of the silent moon,

A spirit of near perfection confined
Within a decomposing cage
She sing songs to the winds
And lullabies to the clouds,

Just accompanying time within the void

#2 Orphan Boy

Orphan

I wander this world
From hand to hand
To hand
Passed around
With good intentions
Yet no good has
Come from it
Alone is my middle name
Despair my last
No home to call my own
It's a hard knock life
And I have been
Kicked around since birth
What did I do to deserve this
Let me repent the wrongs
Of a past life
That I can't remember
I want to belong to someone
I want to belong somewhere
I don't want to be this thing
That no one wants
I want love and a family
To call my own
I want to be someone

Thanks for all the entries so far...all fantastic, it's going to be tricky to judge.
Keep 'em coming, I'd love to hear your clichés come to life...

http://i1290.photobucket.com/albums/b536/1willybugger/The-Things-You-Realize-While-Watching-Beauty-and-the-Beast-as-an-Adult-Man-Repeller-Feature_zpsbf4abkph.jpg

1. Damsel in distress, Belle, from 'Beauty & the Beast.'

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

After the director said, "That's A Wrap!"
Belle looked at her newly transformed
Pretty Prince and said,

"Sweetheart, that will be all,
Now bring back my Neanderthal
Cause this Belle can only be rung
By that man-animal, well hung!"

http://i1290.photobucket.com/albums/b536/1willybugger/protected-by-redneck-rebel-flag-redneck-rerun-stupid-human-1293156301_zpsm4qttahu.jpg

3. REBEL: The leather-clad, bad, biker boy rebel without a cause.

THE ABC’S OF ME

A ll American agrarian asshole.
B arnyard born because behind the barn breed.
C hild chasing chickens, consuming cornbread.
D elinquent doing diabolical disgusting dastardly deeds to domesticated dairy.
E xhibitionist exposes ending embarrassingly.
F arm-boy fucks farm-girl at family friendly Four-H Fair.
G irl Georgiana gave me Goober’s green gonad gross gonorrhea.  
H is horny ‘He-haw Holiness’ I got herpes from either a heifer or hog.
I nglorious idiot, intimacy ignorant, intercourse inadequate.
J uvenile jokester, jackass jerk-off.
K ooky and kinky I need to be, ‘kept kenneled’!
L osing my libido I'm always lamenting love lost.
M asochist masturbator masturbating myself to mournful misery.
N eurotic nuisance nobody needs that's emotionally needy.
O bviously older obstinate ogre who occasionally ogles others offensively.
P rimeval prankster, predictably pervert prone, ‘please phone police’!
Q uixotic questing quid-pro-quo quickie.
R ebellious red rebel righteously recruiting rightwing revolutionaries!
S he said to me, “Selfish stupid son-of-bitch, shove-off!”
U narguably unearthly undeniably ugly.
V elveeta Valley’s vanilla vexing varmints and vamps. .
W orker constantly warring with coworkers, where-ever, when-ever.
X XXL, X-Rated, xtra-stupid walking X-Lax!
Y ep, Yo’mamma, ye-yiggidy-ding!  You-know-what-I-mean!
Z ap zit, zero, zilch!

2. ORPHAN BOY: The poor, little, desperate, orphan boy.

Orphan Andy

(paradoy of a folk poem my mother use to read to me)

It's a dark and story night
The rain is falling fast
That's when my mommy told me
She didn't want me living with her anymore

Poor me, poor poor little me  

I wondered around the town
I didn't have a cent
I thought about my mommy
And back to the house I went

Knock...Knock...Knock
Mommy looked out, the locked window door
I sad, 'Mommy, Mommy, let me in
Your little boy Andy is soaked to the skin!'  

Mommy looked at me and shook her head in disgust
Then said, 'For Gawd's sake Andy, at 43
You need to find another woman to live with
Besides your old Mommy!'