Tell me your pain
ShaleeSue
Shalee
Joined 15th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 2
Shalee
Strange Creature
Forum Posts: 2
Cold Eyes
“I’m so sick of being attached to people who obviously don’t give a fuck about me”
But you didn’t bother to correct me Cold Eyes choking me by the smoke of your cigarette that i pretend i don’t mind
And then i was gone in the labyrinth of my ribcage
chewing on the bars ripping out innards ravenous abandonment
rejection throwing haphazard bones onto your living room floor
The child i was feraled from her dwelling
A heathen cured in bile the parasite leaching her way into control
Retching all the way up my throat to the bar lights deadlights
And then we were back sans esophagus
The cigarette she bummed scorpioned my lungs
And i pretend i don’t mind and Cold Eyes says —
But you didn’t bother to correct me Cold Eyes choking me by the smoke of your cigarette that i pretend i don’t mind
And then i was gone in the labyrinth of my ribcage
chewing on the bars ripping out innards ravenous abandonment
rejection throwing haphazard bones onto your living room floor
The child i was feraled from her dwelling
A heathen cured in bile the parasite leaching her way into control
Retching all the way up my throat to the bar lights deadlights
And then we were back sans esophagus
The cigarette she bummed scorpioned my lungs
And i pretend i don’t mind and Cold Eyes says —
Written by ShaleeSue
(Shalee)
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Anonymous
Silverotter65
Drew1103
Joined 13th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 9
Drew1103
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 9
Fuck!
They tell me I'm to blame for all the ills that befall us all!!!
This deep inner rage, that in silence, shred's every part of me,
A bleeding heart full of anger,
This inner drumming in my brain is slowly driving me insane,
YET! Do I have to be me? Whatever that would ever likely to be?
Put on a show be brave! Big boys don't cry! And all that crap,
Yet! Each sound of my heartbeat attempts,
To hold it back, the floodgates of tears in case I should,
But no!
It's not to be!
Because I am just me!
So what! The tears that come,
So what! My face is obscured,
So what! I have nothing to give,
But yet through all of this I live.
The purpose I have?
No answer to give,
This soul keeps on ticking,
Or is it? Just mimicking,
A life that was or is,
A man that lives,
without a cause to give.
Drew Balfour © 15/02/20
This deep inner rage, that in silence, shred's every part of me,
A bleeding heart full of anger,
This inner drumming in my brain is slowly driving me insane,
YET! Do I have to be me? Whatever that would ever likely to be?
Put on a show be brave! Big boys don't cry! And all that crap,
Yet! Each sound of my heartbeat attempts,
To hold it back, the floodgates of tears in case I should,
But no!
It's not to be!
Because I am just me!
So what! The tears that come,
So what! My face is obscured,
So what! I have nothing to give,
But yet through all of this I live.
The purpose I have?
No answer to give,
This soul keeps on ticking,
Or is it? Just mimicking,
A life that was or is,
A man that lives,
without a cause to give.
Drew Balfour © 15/02/20
Written by Silverotter65
(Drew1103)
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Anonymous
<< post removed >>
wallyroo92
Forum Posts: 1871
Tyrant of Words
154
Joined 11th July 2012Forum Posts: 1871
Tragedy Strikes
I once saw the entrails of a man splattered on the street,
Lifeless bodies,
The poor,
The scared,
It was a terrifying thing in those days,
Now it’s becoming common again.
I’ve heard bullets whiz by,
And from time to time I’ll dream about them,
Thinking of faces burned,
Bodies piled up on pickup trucks,
Some to hospitals and other to morgues,
Women crying,
Screaming,
While others stand by watching.
But in the land of the free,
Where everything is supposed to be…
Safe and sound,
The echo of war has come close to home,
The spirit of hate is filling the hearts of men.
The nightmare comes to life,
When “this just in” plays on the screen,
As tragedy strikes…
Lifeless bodies,
The poor,
The scared,
It was a terrifying thing in those days,
Now it’s becoming common again.
I’ve heard bullets whiz by,
And from time to time I’ll dream about them,
Thinking of faces burned,
Bodies piled up on pickup trucks,
Some to hospitals and other to morgues,
Women crying,
Screaming,
While others stand by watching.
But in the land of the free,
Where everything is supposed to be…
Safe and sound,
The echo of war has come close to home,
The spirit of hate is filling the hearts of men.
The nightmare comes to life,
When “this just in” plays on the screen,
As tragedy strikes…
Written by wallyroo92
Go To Page
PittinixDesigns
Forum Posts: 85
Fire of Insight
3
Joined 8th Feb 2020 Forum Posts: 85
Man In The Dark (a Mind Full Of Thoughts)
Inspired by Antonette
At the beginning of sunset, I sit on top of the parapet
struggling to ignore a mind full of thoughts.
The memory of a special loved one from the distant past
Still haunts my head perplexingly.
I peer through the dimness of dusk hopelessly,
Yet I can’t rule out the possibility that I’ll see her before long.
Although I’m not preparing for bad news at this time,
I don’t fear what the future will bring.
Electric lights adorn the nearby mountainous region
providing me with a spectacular view.
I’m disturbed, pensive, drowning in deep meditation.
I don’t feel like talking to anybody indefinitely.
A tear-jerking music is playing on the mp3 player
while I’m ingesting a cold non-alcoholic beverage.
Various thoughts keep flowing through my confused mind.
It’s a lonely but fascinating hour, I must add.
Sadly, I’m here in the absence of a mate once again.
I occasionally experience regret and a spell of anxiety.
Something about the darkness consoles me in an unusual way.
I’m reserved and unheard as the silence of the night.
You could easily understand why a friend of mine called me,
‘Man in the dark.’
However unthoughtful her comment might have seemed,
I had to accept it with a grin.
This bittersweet outcome isn’t really what I intended,
My pleasant but painful mental picture of her refuses to fade.
Nevertheless, I’ll have to make do with this strange routine.
Regrettably, at the beginning of tomorrow’s twilight
I’ll go back on the balcony and begin my endless journey
through a mind full of thoughts.
At the beginning of sunset, I sit on top of the parapet
struggling to ignore a mind full of thoughts.
The memory of a special loved one from the distant past
Still haunts my head perplexingly.
I peer through the dimness of dusk hopelessly,
Yet I can’t rule out the possibility that I’ll see her before long.
Although I’m not preparing for bad news at this time,
I don’t fear what the future will bring.
Electric lights adorn the nearby mountainous region
providing me with a spectacular view.
I’m disturbed, pensive, drowning in deep meditation.
I don’t feel like talking to anybody indefinitely.
A tear-jerking music is playing on the mp3 player
while I’m ingesting a cold non-alcoholic beverage.
Various thoughts keep flowing through my confused mind.
It’s a lonely but fascinating hour, I must add.
Sadly, I’m here in the absence of a mate once again.
I occasionally experience regret and a spell of anxiety.
Something about the darkness consoles me in an unusual way.
I’m reserved and unheard as the silence of the night.
You could easily understand why a friend of mine called me,
‘Man in the dark.’
However unthoughtful her comment might have seemed,
I had to accept it with a grin.
This bittersweet outcome isn’t really what I intended,
My pleasant but painful mental picture of her refuses to fade.
Nevertheless, I’ll have to make do with this strange routine.
Regrettably, at the beginning of tomorrow’s twilight
I’ll go back on the balcony and begin my endless journey
through a mind full of thoughts.
Written by PittinixDesigns
Go To Page
spdred
spidey
Joined 14th Nov 2017
Forum Posts: 6
spidey
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 6
the actress
i am
a sweet breeze singing,
wind chimes swinging,
and every beautiful
end to a day.
i am
rivers rushing,
sunlight sweeping,
and every kind thing
you could say.
i am
loved and loving,
cared for, caring;
glad as any bird
in a cage.
cold as a gale blows
through my bones;
happy. in every
possible way.
proper, polished,
always honest,
perfect, pleasing,
on display.
almost always
almost cracking--
no. i do not lose
today.
i am,
(i must be)
a sweet breeze singing,
windchimes swinging,
rivers rushing,
sunlight sweeping,
loved and loving,
cared for, caring;
...not my game,
but i must play.
a sweet breeze singing,
wind chimes swinging,
and every beautiful
end to a day.
i am
rivers rushing,
sunlight sweeping,
and every kind thing
you could say.
i am
loved and loving,
cared for, caring;
glad as any bird
in a cage.
cold as a gale blows
through my bones;
happy. in every
possible way.
proper, polished,
always honest,
perfect, pleasing,
on display.
almost always
almost cracking--
no. i do not lose
today.
i am,
(i must be)
a sweet breeze singing,
windchimes swinging,
rivers rushing,
sunlight sweeping,
loved and loving,
cared for, caring;
...not my game,
but i must play.
Written by spdred
(spidey)
Go To Page
as for the quote...
"Being a good girl means suppressing a lot."
-Jennifer Jayson Leigh
:)
Orc_Pirate_68
Sabrina Kirk-Caldwell
Forum Posts: 305
Sabrina Kirk-Caldwell
Thought Provoker
5
Joined 29th June 2018Forum Posts: 305
Situational Depression (So Many Things Going on Right Now)
Deep is the mind,
Like the ocean you'll find,
But sometimes it's deeper than one thought,
Deep, dark, and cold, and fear fraught,
And what we access on a daily basis,
Is only the surface, we access.
We are like icebergs, floating on the surface of the Arctic Ocean,
We can only see the top layer of the psyche, just a fraction,
With the layers underneath, hidden, afraid to reach them,
Until finally confronted with them,
And not sure how to handle them.
Deep within the soul, lies a warrior,
Awaiting battle, hidden behind the exterior,
Away from the world, until the time comes to fight,
For what is right,
The right to be free,
To be who one needs to be.
My warrior is dressed in a suit of blue women's armor,
With the sword and shield of Mars, with freedom, ready to deliver.
He sat upon his ram, Aries, long locks tried back, ready to charge,
And of this life, take charge,
To bring courage, and liberation of the binary,
And freedom from the ordinary.
He waited until his world was ready,
As his battlefield was prepped, but he was and is afraid of being another casualty,
Another statistic,
Of hate crime, pessimistic.
And right now, my warrior is dead upon this battlefield,
Awaiting the chance to go and respawn upon another battlefield,
He has so much more to fight for,
And where I am, I can't even bring those things up, for they'd find these topics obscure,
And wouldn't even listen to me,
Just wanting to be free
To be me.
I am scared,
That for whom I have cared,
Will end up dead in my care,
And I would not have been able to to anything abut it there.
I know you watch with hungry eyes, Death,
Wishing to stop her last breath,
Hiding around the corner,
To prey on my grandmother.
If it is her time to go, then so be it,
Just please, not while I'm here, I don't want to feel guilt as if I could have stopped it.
Gods above, please let me leave soon,
Please let circumstances happen, where I can go home soon
...And stay home,
Help get her into assisted living or a nursing home.
I am afraid,
Afraid she won't soon enough get an aid,
And that my situational depression will be too much,
That I will continue to not feel like eating much,
And keep getting up in the morning to help her, and therefore sleep too little,
That I will keep getting weak, and eventually brittle,
That I will soon not be able to help her with daily things in her home.
And I am also afraid of when I come home,
As I get my life together,
And I come together
With my family,
My ever after, won't end so happily.
I am afraid if I continue with my plan,
And I come out as a gender non-conforming man,
I won't be believed or understood,
That they won't see any signs of manhood,
And will continue to ask questions about every little detail
Until I go back to my invisible jail,
Saying "fine, I'm a woman"
That I'm not a man.
So far, only my mother and my brother know about my gender,
Because I live with them, and know they accept me no matter what I feel is my gender.
I fear that when I end up living on my own,
My family will insist I have a roommate, but because I want to live on my own,
That I might insist on it,
And if I do, that will be it,
That will be the moment that would make them say "If only I had not given in",
Because that's always the turning point in true crime shows,
That forshadows
The grown child's murder,
For they had no one there to get between them and the monster.
My life is not ruled by fear,
It's just been made worse here,
I want to cry,
I have no motivation to do anything I don't have to, or even to try,
Everything she watches on TV is negative,
All the marital problems and crying, hard it is, taking care of an aging relative.
I am so homesick,
My stomach feels sick
From low appetite, from my anxiety and situational depression,
I wish to go home and creatively show off a happy expression,
Paint, draw, sew, sing, dance, craft, build, play games, garden, cook, etc,
(But I will say just one more fear extra,
The Arctic Ocean,
Deep, dark, and shock inducing cold, so many creature's that live in that ocean,
We really have no idea what all lives in that ocean.
...And if I were ever to go though that water,
I would make sure to stay on that boat or submarine, no one will never get me directly in that water.)
Like the ocean you'll find,
But sometimes it's deeper than one thought,
Deep, dark, and cold, and fear fraught,
And what we access on a daily basis,
Is only the surface, we access.
We are like icebergs, floating on the surface of the Arctic Ocean,
We can only see the top layer of the psyche, just a fraction,
With the layers underneath, hidden, afraid to reach them,
Until finally confronted with them,
And not sure how to handle them.
Deep within the soul, lies a warrior,
Awaiting battle, hidden behind the exterior,
Away from the world, until the time comes to fight,
For what is right,
The right to be free,
To be who one needs to be.
My warrior is dressed in a suit of blue women's armor,
With the sword and shield of Mars, with freedom, ready to deliver.
He sat upon his ram, Aries, long locks tried back, ready to charge,
And of this life, take charge,
To bring courage, and liberation of the binary,
And freedom from the ordinary.
He waited until his world was ready,
As his battlefield was prepped, but he was and is afraid of being another casualty,
Another statistic,
Of hate crime, pessimistic.
And right now, my warrior is dead upon this battlefield,
Awaiting the chance to go and respawn upon another battlefield,
He has so much more to fight for,
And where I am, I can't even bring those things up, for they'd find these topics obscure,
And wouldn't even listen to me,
Just wanting to be free
To be me.
I am scared,
That for whom I have cared,
Will end up dead in my care,
And I would not have been able to to anything abut it there.
I know you watch with hungry eyes, Death,
Wishing to stop her last breath,
Hiding around the corner,
To prey on my grandmother.
If it is her time to go, then so be it,
Just please, not while I'm here, I don't want to feel guilt as if I could have stopped it.
Gods above, please let me leave soon,
Please let circumstances happen, where I can go home soon
...And stay home,
Help get her into assisted living or a nursing home.
I am afraid,
Afraid she won't soon enough get an aid,
And that my situational depression will be too much,
That I will continue to not feel like eating much,
And keep getting up in the morning to help her, and therefore sleep too little,
That I will keep getting weak, and eventually brittle,
That I will soon not be able to help her with daily things in her home.
And I am also afraid of when I come home,
As I get my life together,
And I come together
With my family,
My ever after, won't end so happily.
I am afraid if I continue with my plan,
And I come out as a gender non-conforming man,
I won't be believed or understood,
That they won't see any signs of manhood,
And will continue to ask questions about every little detail
Until I go back to my invisible jail,
Saying "fine, I'm a woman"
That I'm not a man.
So far, only my mother and my brother know about my gender,
Because I live with them, and know they accept me no matter what I feel is my gender.
I fear that when I end up living on my own,
My family will insist I have a roommate, but because I want to live on my own,
That I might insist on it,
And if I do, that will be it,
That will be the moment that would make them say "If only I had not given in",
Because that's always the turning point in true crime shows,
That forshadows
The grown child's murder,
For they had no one there to get between them and the monster.
My life is not ruled by fear,
It's just been made worse here,
I want to cry,
I have no motivation to do anything I don't have to, or even to try,
Everything she watches on TV is negative,
All the marital problems and crying, hard it is, taking care of an aging relative.
I am so homesick,
My stomach feels sick
From low appetite, from my anxiety and situational depression,
I wish to go home and creatively show off a happy expression,
Paint, draw, sew, sing, dance, craft, build, play games, garden, cook, etc,
(But I will say just one more fear extra,
The Arctic Ocean,
Deep, dark, and shock inducing cold, so many creature's that live in that ocean,
We really have no idea what all lives in that ocean.
...And if I were ever to go though that water,
I would make sure to stay on that boat or submarine, no one will never get me directly in that water.)
Written by Orc_Pirate_68
(Sabrina Kirk-Caldwell)
Go To Page
Orc_Pirate_68
Sabrina Kirk-Caldwell
Forum Posts: 305
Sabrina Kirk-Caldwell
Thought Provoker
5
Joined 29th June 2018Forum Posts: 305
Situational Depression (So Many Things Going on Right Now)
Deep is the mind,
Like the ocean you'll find,
But sometimes it's deeper than one thought,
Deep, dark, and cold, and fear fraught,
And what we access on a daily basis,
Is only the surface, we access.
We are like icebergs, floating on the surface of the Arctic Ocean,
We can only see the top layer of the psyche, just a fraction,
With the layers underneath, hidden, afraid to reach them,
Until finally confronted with them,
And not sure how to handle them.
Deep within the soul, lies a warrior,
Awaiting battle, hidden behind the exterior,
Away from the world, until the time comes to fight,
For what is right,
The right to be free,
To be who one needs to be.
My warrior is dressed in a suit of blue women's armor,
With the sword and shield of Mars, with freedom, ready to deliver.
He sat upon his ram, Aries, long locks tried back, ready to charge,
And of this life, take charge,
To bring courage, and liberation of the binary,
And freedom from the ordinary.
He waited until his world was ready,
As his battlefield was prepped, but he was and is afraid of being another casualty,
Another statistic,
Of hate crime, pessimistic.
And right now, my warrior is dead upon this battlefield,
Awaiting the chance to go and respawn upon another battlefield,
He has so much more to fight for,
And where I am, I can't even bring those things up, for they'd find these topics obscure,
And wouldn't even listen to me,
Just wanting to be free
To be me.
I am scared,
That for whom I have cared,
Will end up dead in my care,
And I would not have been able to to anything abut it there.
I know you watch with hungry eyes, Death,
Wishing to stop her last breath,
Hiding around the corner,
To prey on my grandmother.
If it is her time to go, then so be it,
Just please, not while I'm here, I don't want to feel guilt as if I could have stopped it.
Gods above, please let me leave soon,
Please let circumstances happen, where I can go home soon
...And stay home,
Help get her into assisted living or a nursing home.
I am afraid,
Afraid she won't soon enough get an aid,
And that my situational depression will be too much,
That I will continue to not feel like eating much,
And keep getting up in the morning to help her, and therefore sleep too little,
That I will keep getting weak, and eventually brittle,
That I will soon not be able to help her with daily things in her home.
And I am also afraid of when I come home,
As I get my life together,
And I come together
With my family,
My ever after, won't end so happily.
I am afraid if I continue with my plan,
And I come out as a gender non-conforming man,
I won't be believed or understood,
That they won't see any signs of manhood,
And will continue to ask questions about every little detail
Until I go back to my invisible jail,
Saying "fine, I'm a woman"
That I'm not a man.
So far, only my mother and my brother know about my gender,
Because I live with them, and know they accept me no matter what I feel is my gender.
I fear that when I end up living on my own,
My family will insist I have a roommate, but because I want to live on my own,
That I might insist on it,
And if I do, that will be it,
That will be the moment that would make them say "If only I had not given in",
Because that's always the turning point in true crime shows,
That forshadows
The grown child's murder,
For they had no one there to get between them and the monster.
My life is not ruled by fear,
It's just been made worse here,
I want to cry,
I have no motivation to do anything I don't have to, or even to try,
Everything she watches on TV is negative,
All the marital problems and crying, hard it is, taking care of an aging relative.
I am so homesick,
My stomach feels sick
From low appetite, from my anxiety and situational depression,
I wish to go home and creatively show off a happy expression,
Paint, draw, sew, sing, dance, craft, build, play games, garden, cook, etc,
(But I will say just one more fear extra,
The Arctic Ocean,
Deep, dark, and shock inducing cold, so many creature's that live in that ocean,
We really have no idea what all lives in that ocean.
...And if I were ever to go though that water,
I would make sure to stay on that boat or submarine, no one will never get me directly in that water.)
Like the ocean you'll find,
But sometimes it's deeper than one thought,
Deep, dark, and cold, and fear fraught,
And what we access on a daily basis,
Is only the surface, we access.
We are like icebergs, floating on the surface of the Arctic Ocean,
We can only see the top layer of the psyche, just a fraction,
With the layers underneath, hidden, afraid to reach them,
Until finally confronted with them,
And not sure how to handle them.
Deep within the soul, lies a warrior,
Awaiting battle, hidden behind the exterior,
Away from the world, until the time comes to fight,
For what is right,
The right to be free,
To be who one needs to be.
My warrior is dressed in a suit of blue women's armor,
With the sword and shield of Mars, with freedom, ready to deliver.
He sat upon his ram, Aries, long locks tried back, ready to charge,
And of this life, take charge,
To bring courage, and liberation of the binary,
And freedom from the ordinary.
He waited until his world was ready,
As his battlefield was prepped, but he was and is afraid of being another casualty,
Another statistic,
Of hate crime, pessimistic.
And right now, my warrior is dead upon this battlefield,
Awaiting the chance to go and respawn upon another battlefield,
He has so much more to fight for,
And where I am, I can't even bring those things up, for they'd find these topics obscure,
And wouldn't even listen to me,
Just wanting to be free
To be me.
I am scared,
That for whom I have cared,
Will end up dead in my care,
And I would not have been able to to anything abut it there.
I know you watch with hungry eyes, Death,
Wishing to stop her last breath,
Hiding around the corner,
To prey on my grandmother.
If it is her time to go, then so be it,
Just please, not while I'm here, I don't want to feel guilt as if I could have stopped it.
Gods above, please let me leave soon,
Please let circumstances happen, where I can go home soon
...And stay home,
Help get her into assisted living or a nursing home.
I am afraid,
Afraid she won't soon enough get an aid,
And that my situational depression will be too much,
That I will continue to not feel like eating much,
And keep getting up in the morning to help her, and therefore sleep too little,
That I will keep getting weak, and eventually brittle,
That I will soon not be able to help her with daily things in her home.
And I am also afraid of when I come home,
As I get my life together,
And I come together
With my family,
My ever after, won't end so happily.
I am afraid if I continue with my plan,
And I come out as a gender non-conforming man,
I won't be believed or understood,
That they won't see any signs of manhood,
And will continue to ask questions about every little detail
Until I go back to my invisible jail,
Saying "fine, I'm a woman"
That I'm not a man.
So far, only my mother and my brother know about my gender,
Because I live with them, and know they accept me no matter what I feel is my gender.
I fear that when I end up living on my own,
My family will insist I have a roommate, but because I want to live on my own,
That I might insist on it,
And if I do, that will be it,
That will be the moment that would make them say "If only I had not given in",
Because that's always the turning point in true crime shows,
That forshadows
The grown child's murder,
For they had no one there to get between them and the monster.
My life is not ruled by fear,
It's just been made worse here,
I want to cry,
I have no motivation to do anything I don't have to, or even to try,
Everything she watches on TV is negative,
All the marital problems and crying, hard it is, taking care of an aging relative.
I am so homesick,
My stomach feels sick
From low appetite, from my anxiety and situational depression,
I wish to go home and creatively show off a happy expression,
Paint, draw, sew, sing, dance, craft, build, play games, garden, cook, etc,
(But I will say just one more fear extra,
The Arctic Ocean,
Deep, dark, and shock inducing cold, so many creature's that live in that ocean,
We really have no idea what all lives in that ocean.
...And if I were ever to go though that water,
I would make sure to stay on that boat or submarine, no one will never get me directly in that water.)
Written by Orc_Pirate_68
(Sabrina Kirk-Caldwell)
Go To Page
Orc_Pirate_68 said:
"Yesterday I was happy because you were with me. Yesterday I was smiling, today I am crying. Yesterday I was loving, because you were laughing. Yesterday I was hoping, today I am enduring. Yesterday was all good, because you understood. Yesterday life seemed fair, today...I am frozen and broken beyond repair." -Unknown (If anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know so I can give credit.)
"Yesterday I was happy because you were with me. Yesterday I was smiling, today I am crying. Yesterday I was loving, because you were laughing. Yesterday I was hoping, today I am enduring. Yesterday was all good, because you understood. Yesterday life seemed fair, today...I am frozen and broken beyond repair." -Unknown (If anyone knows who wrote this, please let me know so I can give credit.)
LunasChild8
Forum Posts: 540
Dangerous Mind
21
Joined 27th Dec 2017 Forum Posts: 540
Things I'll Never Say
I
Her soul was once a radiant fire
But now nearly all her flames have turned to ember
Her head-strong approach was something I’ve always admired
Yet now it seems like she has surrendered…
To despair and anxiety after five gruesome years
I watch on helplessly as I don’t know what to do
How can I assure her that there’s nothing to fear?
Whenever she asks me what our future holds, I haven’t got a clue
There are moments where I see determination in her worn eyes
But those days are rarer and rarer
Many days all I want to do is cry
We wouldn’t be in this situation if life had been fairer
All her life has been one struggle after another
But she managed to push on by working like heck
I love her so, oh my poor, dear mother
I fear that I’ll be the cause of her premature death.
II
Emptiness inside
I didn’t want to believe
That this is the final goodbye
Between you and me
I miss you Leo
Why did you have to go?
You, mom and I were the Golden Trio
Yet your life was cut short like one would blow…
Out a candle to extinguish its flames
Yet you, my dear cat, were hit by a car
That heart-stopping text from dad engulfed me in rage
And those unbelievable words had sown onto my heart a scar
Sometimes I dream of you, and I’m so happy
Only to wake up to reality, and I burst into tears
These last 10 months without you have been utterly crappy
Your affectionate personality filled our lives with cheer
Emptiness inside
I’ve now come to terms
That this is the final goodbye
The lack of a pulse and your immobile chest were enough to confirm.
III
I know I haven’t been the most worshipping of Christians
Only recently have I come to terms with my spirituality
Honestly, I thought that your existence was pure fiction
Yet my life experience led me to believe that your existence could be a reality
After all, you saved my mother when she was in death’s clutches
You have made it possible for me to accomplish my dream
Whenever I was done, you have been my pair of crutches
So please help me now, or I’ll burst out and scream
I’ve made a terrible choice, that shouldn’t have been so if life were different
I went all in instead of fully analyzing and opting for the safer path
I know that my face is often blank, making people think that I’m indifferent
When really, it’s my only way of protecting myself from attack
I didn’t sign up to pay this terrible price
This never would have happened had the opportunity exited back home
I had no one at the time to give me much needed advice
I feel like I’ve screwed up just as badly as the fall of Rome
So, God, Forces of the universe, my Guardian Angel
Please help my bearer and I to make it out of this shitstorm
This experience has left me rather gainful…
In what I should and shouldn’t do; I’m now informed
But I swear that I’ll bring us to the light at the end of the tunnel; no matter how painful.
Her soul was once a radiant fire
But now nearly all her flames have turned to ember
Her head-strong approach was something I’ve always admired
Yet now it seems like she has surrendered…
To despair and anxiety after five gruesome years
I watch on helplessly as I don’t know what to do
How can I assure her that there’s nothing to fear?
Whenever she asks me what our future holds, I haven’t got a clue
There are moments where I see determination in her worn eyes
But those days are rarer and rarer
Many days all I want to do is cry
We wouldn’t be in this situation if life had been fairer
All her life has been one struggle after another
But she managed to push on by working like heck
I love her so, oh my poor, dear mother
I fear that I’ll be the cause of her premature death.
II
Emptiness inside
I didn’t want to believe
That this is the final goodbye
Between you and me
I miss you Leo
Why did you have to go?
You, mom and I were the Golden Trio
Yet your life was cut short like one would blow…
Out a candle to extinguish its flames
Yet you, my dear cat, were hit by a car
That heart-stopping text from dad engulfed me in rage
And those unbelievable words had sown onto my heart a scar
Sometimes I dream of you, and I’m so happy
Only to wake up to reality, and I burst into tears
These last 10 months without you have been utterly crappy
Your affectionate personality filled our lives with cheer
Emptiness inside
I’ve now come to terms
That this is the final goodbye
The lack of a pulse and your immobile chest were enough to confirm.
III
I know I haven’t been the most worshipping of Christians
Only recently have I come to terms with my spirituality
Honestly, I thought that your existence was pure fiction
Yet my life experience led me to believe that your existence could be a reality
After all, you saved my mother when she was in death’s clutches
You have made it possible for me to accomplish my dream
Whenever I was done, you have been my pair of crutches
So please help me now, or I’ll burst out and scream
I’ve made a terrible choice, that shouldn’t have been so if life were different
I went all in instead of fully analyzing and opting for the safer path
I know that my face is often blank, making people think that I’m indifferent
When really, it’s my only way of protecting myself from attack
I didn’t sign up to pay this terrible price
This never would have happened had the opportunity exited back home
I had no one at the time to give me much needed advice
I feel like I’ve screwed up just as badly as the fall of Rome
So, God, Forces of the universe, my Guardian Angel
Please help my bearer and I to make it out of this shitstorm
This experience has left me rather gainful…
In what I should and shouldn’t do; I’m now informed
But I swear that I’ll bring us to the light at the end of the tunnel; no matter how painful.
Written by LunasChild8
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Quote: "Some would want to be like the Sun that brightens up every day - I prefer to be the Moon that brings you light in your darkest night”- Sailor Moon
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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BlackBoxPublicatio
Adeshina Lawal
Joined 4th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 10
Adeshina Lawal
Lost Thinker
Forum Posts: 10
Pandora's Purpose
Is it ok for men to express emotions like fear and regret?
Better yet is it ok to emote love and respect?
In our society we as men are raised to be strong yet blank.
Unpredictable yet reliable, silent but desirable.
Viable while still carrying a note of mystery.
An impossible feet but one that is required to meet society's inquiry.
But what about Pandora's box?
Once unlocked, her contents have been known to rock the very
foundation society stands on.
Sometimes with a bomb but also by the tip of the tongue or a pen.
Man must appear one way to society but another domestically.
Its perplexing G.
You see it is necessary to express what we hold to chest cause if we
don't, society must cash the check in exchange for the contents of
Pandora's box.
I believe our women hold the key. And the lock. And the box.
We just fill her box with the contents of our hearts with the hope she will
guarantee our safekeeping.
By doing this society will never see us weeping.
We can keep our enemy at bay, even if only for one day.
Better yet is it ok to emote love and respect?
In our society we as men are raised to be strong yet blank.
Unpredictable yet reliable, silent but desirable.
Viable while still carrying a note of mystery.
An impossible feet but one that is required to meet society's inquiry.
But what about Pandora's box?
Once unlocked, her contents have been known to rock the very
foundation society stands on.
Sometimes with a bomb but also by the tip of the tongue or a pen.
Man must appear one way to society but another domestically.
Its perplexing G.
You see it is necessary to express what we hold to chest cause if we
don't, society must cash the check in exchange for the contents of
Pandora's box.
I believe our women hold the key. And the lock. And the box.
We just fill her box with the contents of our hearts with the hope she will
guarantee our safekeeping.
By doing this society will never see us weeping.
We can keep our enemy at bay, even if only for one day.
Written by BlackBoxPublicatio
(Adeshina Lawal)
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EternalSnow
Snow
Forum Posts: 205
Snow
Thought Provoker
2
Joined 11th Jan 2012Forum Posts: 205
On My mind
How could I ever tell you how I feel
My heart constantly beating
the thoughts that spin around my head
sending me all over the place in the time so how should I feel
Happy, sad, upset. is there even a point to say it all
could it be that the things that I have seen aren't my dream?
Is it something I'm doing to just make you happy.
Is it even what I want to do. just who am I really that is a question to ask in time.
The answers won't even be answered in my lifetime.
am I a disappointment in that I see so is this just me.
So A ask what is it all in time and who am I
even I don't know what's truly on my mind
My heart constantly beating
the thoughts that spin around my head
sending me all over the place in the time so how should I feel
Happy, sad, upset. is there even a point to say it all
could it be that the things that I have seen aren't my dream?
Is it something I'm doing to just make you happy.
Is it even what I want to do. just who am I really that is a question to ask in time.
The answers won't even be answered in my lifetime.
am I a disappointment in that I see so is this just me.
So A ask what is it all in time and who am I
even I don't know what's truly on my mind
Written by EternalSnow
(Snow)
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ClassyBird
ClAsSyBiRdMeLlA
Forum Posts: 24
ClAsSyBiRdMeLlA
Twisted Dreamer
1
Joined 24th Oct 2019Forum Posts: 24
Too Late Suicide
I slit both wrists
and pray to God I drain slowly.
feel every vein in me
pump blood out of my body.
No fight left in me,
No reason to be,
So this is my last story.
I sit here,
legs stretched out in front of me
thinking of what life should be.
I'll use this forum of DU Poetry
To leave a piece of me.
I feel okay,
Just numb around wrist and the thumb.
My hearts beating a little fast
but nothing to be alarmed.
I've tried and failed and failed and tried, failed again
I'm just tired....
life hasn't been that good to me i must admit
It's gotten the best of me.
My head's feeling a little dizzy,
bare with me.
thoughts of all the things i should do instead of this,
Fuck my wrists hurt.
I took a minute to read
DUP's inspiring poems
and I must admit I'm inspired.
God, I feel so weak right now.
I've had a change of mind
I want to live
I want to try and see how best to turn my life around.
My eyes are shutting down.
IF yOu ArE rEaDinG tHiS nOw Just KnoW ThAt I
.......................................................................................................................................................................
and pray to God I drain slowly.
feel every vein in me
pump blood out of my body.
No fight left in me,
No reason to be,
So this is my last story.
I sit here,
legs stretched out in front of me
thinking of what life should be.
I'll use this forum of DU Poetry
To leave a piece of me.
I feel okay,
Just numb around wrist and the thumb.
My hearts beating a little fast
but nothing to be alarmed.
I've tried and failed and failed and tried, failed again
I'm just tired....
life hasn't been that good to me i must admit
It's gotten the best of me.
My head's feeling a little dizzy,
bare with me.
thoughts of all the things i should do instead of this,
Fuck my wrists hurt.
I took a minute to read
DUP's inspiring poems
and I must admit I'm inspired.
God, I feel so weak right now.
I've had a change of mind
I want to live
I want to try and see how best to turn my life around.
My eyes are shutting down.
IF yOu ArE rEaDinG tHiS nOw Just KnoW ThAt I
.......................................................................................................................................................................
Written by ClassyBird
(ClAsSyBiRdMeLlA)
Go To Page
"Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem"