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Tell me your pain

BenJohnson
BenJohnson
Darth Brooks
Lost Thinker
United States
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Joined 7th Jan 2020
Forum Posts: 4

Still Not Strong Enough

Iíll give you a reason to cry
Says the reason that I am crying
Which releases more Pavlovian tears

Itíll take me awhile to calm down
Even longer to lock it away
Now I havenít cried in years

Whenever I get close
My hand pulls away
From the lever

I have to be a man

it became easier when I could
wash it down after dinner
and eat it out of someone else

Iíll let some leak out
when I need something
to write about

Or when I want to think
Or sit there in silence
Or just be in control of myself

for once

the slow progress of notes
forms banks on each side
guiding into

A constant drip
held in check by years of patchwork
stapled and taped across a river

my favorite moments
are watching
the flow

Why do I seek out sadness
when I am still
not strong enough

to cry
Written by BenJohnson (Darth Brooks)
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BenJohnson
BenJohnson
Darth Brooks
Lost Thinker
United States
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Joined 7th Jan 2020
Forum Posts: 4

ďTo hide feelings when you are near crying is the secret of dignity.Ē
― Dejan Stojanovic

drone
drone
Dangerous Mind
Greece
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Joined 3rd Sep 2011
Forum Posts: 583

I don't understand
You People
How can you listen
to common sense
logical reasoning
it's like listening
to fingernails
on a blackboard
How can you
Endure
the brain numbing
Honest debates
that separates
Fact from Fiction
What's Wrong
with you people
and empathy
EMPATHY
Actually feeling
the pain and despair
of others
what are you masochists
you enjoy pain
how can you do that
it's crazy
and you people do all this
VOLUNTARILY
that freaks me out
i just cannot get my head
around that
don't you people get it
most of us
we're happy with this life
we don't need
what you subscribe
you people
need to be educated
on the meaning of the word
majority
that would be us
some of us
like forming groups
group hugs
protesting here and there
meeting
like minded people
it's a hobby
if we were serious
we would use your methods
not a good idea
there are others
who have formed
one of the biggest groups
in the western world
it;s called
the bitch whine and moan
with the intent
to carry on society
everybody needs a hobby
if it wasn't for technology
we would never have
the ability to watch real life reality
and true news on a box
in the comfort
of our homes
Staring
with blank eyes
like contented cows
while chewing our food
its brilliant
we love it
if we didn't
we would change
so leave us alone
let us be
we have no intention
or desire
to leave

Quote
Hard to stay
a little sane
when listening
to other people's
way of thinking

NANCY_RDZ_STORIES
NANCY_RDZ_STORIES
WRITER LYRICIST ARTIST
Thought Provoker
United States
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Joined 9th Jan 2020
Forum Posts: 60

MY EARLY BIRTHDAY GIFT

My day has been full of shit stress...
A huge fucking mess
Nothing good
Only red fumes mood
My family that kills my mind in rudes...

Tired as I knew...
My day would be worst them the famous blue
All colors tangle up like insane glue

Like why fucking me?!?!
What the hell!!!

This always happens a day before my birthday
hits harder than a crabs shell
Not like how I wanted things this way
"Shit, that on-demand that has to be!!!"...
Like rots badly then decay itself
I can't say anything with my mom or else
This is my asylum that will come
Always to haunt my ass
To show me I'm dumb
To see my laughing path
My life converting to numb
Like a leftover crumb
That needs sweeping then to the trash...

YEA MOM YOU SAY TO GO WITH YOU TO CHURCH
I WAS SO WILLING TO
WHY CAUSE I DONT MIND TO GOD TO SEARCH
BUT YOU KILLED ME, YES YOU!!!?
YOU THROW FALSE JUDGEMENT UNTO ME CRUEL...
CAN'T FUCKING TALK TO YOU LIKE A NORMAL DAUGHTER WOULD DO!!!
CAUSE YOU BRING UP STUPIDITY THOUGHTS
THAT AREN'T EVEN TRUE!!!
THINGS THAT ONLY YOUR MIND CONSTRUCTS!!!
WHY YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!
WHY YOU START TO HISS?
START TO DISAPPOINT TO THE POINT TO ME PISS...
YEA I GUESS IT WAS SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND MISS
YOU LOVE SEEING ME ANGRY TO THE POINT I LATER OUR COOL PLANS YOU WANTED US TO DO AND TO HEAR ME SAY I'LL FUCKEN DISMISS...
WHY?!?!
"CAUSE YOU DONT CARE WHAT I THINK"
WHAT ALL I WANT TO EVEN TRY...
YOU ASSUME AND SAY I BITCHEN STINK
THEN YOU LATER LAUGH WITH A CORRUPTED WINK??

NO MOM...
NO, I WILL NOT GO ANYMORE WITH YOU TO SEE GODS HOME...
YOU DESTROYED AND SOURED MY INSPIRATION
YOU WILL GO ON YOUR OWN
CAUSE MY HEART THAT'S NOW ALL GONE
YOU RIPPED IT OUT OF ME LIKE A HUGE PAINFUL LACERATION...
"YOUR DARK TEMPTATION"
YOU SEEK TO FIND IN MY SOUL
WELL, YOU GOT IT...
SO LOVE MY HATE AND SHIT!!!
NOW HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER MY RAGE
YEA I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT I REACHED A NEW AGE HAHA...
 
SILENCE WHOLE
THE DEEP HOLE

THAT IS IN MY CHEST FOR IT TO SHOW
NOW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
JUST GO...
LEAVE ME IN DARKNESS
 I'LL HIDE IN MY CHAINS OF A HARNESS
THAT YOU CREATE IN ME YOUR HIGHNESS
JUST TIRED OF ALL THIS UNKINDNESS

THANKS, MOTHER
MY BIRTHDAY STARTS LIKE A POISONED FLOWER...
THAT WILL SHOWER
HOUR BY THE HOUR
THAT YOU DID IN ME CONQUER

THAT SWEET VENOM
THAT SPREADS LIKE YOU MOM
THAT IS YOUR LOVE YOU BESTOW UNTO ME
YOUR LOVE YOU WANT ME TO SEE
THE PERSON YOU LONG FOR ME TO BE
"LIKE YOU"
JUST LIKE YOU DO...
WITHERED IN LOST SELFISHLY...

I'LL CRY YES ILL CRY"
JUST LET IT SUCK ME OUT DRY...
"LOVE THIS PAIN THAT IS WHY"
NOTHING PERSONAL, NOTHING NEW...
JUST WORDS THAT ARE TRUE
 GOODBYE...
Written by NANCY_RDZ_STORIES (WRITER LYRICIST ARTIST)
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NANCY_RDZ_STORIES
NANCY_RDZ_STORIES
WRITER LYRICIST ARTIST
Thought Provoker
United States
1awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 9th Jan 2020
Forum Posts: 60

MY EARLY BIRTHDAY GIFT

My day has been full of shit stress...
A huge fucking mess
Nothing good
Only red fumes mood
My family that kills my mind in rudes...

Tired as I knew...
My day would be worst them the famous blue
All colors tangle up like insane glue

Like why fucking me?!?!
What the hell!!!

This always happens a day before my birthday
hits harder than a crabs shell
Not like how I wanted things this way
"Shit, that on-demand that has to be!!!"...
Like rots badly then decay itself
I can't say anything with my mom or else
This is my asylum that will come
Always to haunt my ass
To show me I'm dumb
To see my laughing path
My life converting to numb
Like a leftover crumb
That needs sweeping then to the trash...

YEA MOM YOU SAY TO GO WITH YOU TO CHURCH
I WAS SO WILLING TO
WHY CAUSE I DONT MIND TO GOD TO SEARCH
BUT YOU KILLED ME, YES YOU!!!?
YOU THROW FALSE JUDGEMENT UNTO ME CRUEL...
CAN'T FUCKING TALK TO YOU LIKE A NORMAL DAUGHTER WOULD DO!!!
CAUSE YOU BRING UP STUPIDITY THOUGHTS
THAT AREN'T EVEN TRUE!!!
THINGS THAT ONLY YOUR MIND CONSTRUCTS!!!
WHY YOU ALWAYS DO THIS!
WHY YOU START TO HISS?
START TO DISAPPOINT TO THE POINT TO ME PISS...
YEA I GUESS IT WAS SOMETHING YOU LOVE AND MISS
YOU LOVE SEEING ME ANGRY TO THE POINT I LATER OUR COOL PLANS YOU WANTED US TO DO AND TO HEAR ME SAY I'LL FUCKEN DISMISS...
WHY?!?!
"CAUSE YOU DONT CARE WHAT I THINK"
WHAT ALL I WANT TO EVEN TRY...
YOU ASSUME AND SAY I BITCHEN STINK
THEN YOU LATER LAUGH WITH A CORRUPTED WINK??

NO MOM...
NO, I WILL NOT GO ANYMORE WITH YOU TO SEE GODS HOME...
YOU DESTROYED AND SOURED MY INSPIRATION
YOU WILL GO ON YOUR OWN
CAUSE MY HEART THAT'S NOW ALL GONE
YOU RIPPED IT OUT OF ME LIKE A HUGE PAINFUL LACERATION...
"YOUR DARK TEMPTATION"
YOU SEEK TO FIND IN MY SOUL
WELL, YOU GOT IT...
SO LOVE MY HATE AND SHIT!!!
NOW HOPE YOU FEEL BETTER MY RAGE
YEA I FEEL BETTER NOW THAT I REACHED A NEW AGE HAHA...
 
SILENCE WHOLE
THE DEEP HOLE

THAT IS IN MY CHEST FOR IT TO SHOW
NOW LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE
JUST GO...
LEAVE ME IN DARKNESS
 I'LL HIDE IN MY CHAINS OF A HARNESS
THAT YOU CREATE IN ME YOUR HIGHNESS
JUST TIRED OF ALL THIS UNKINDNESS

THANKS, MOTHER
MY BIRTHDAY STARTS LIKE A POISONED FLOWER...
THAT WILL SHOWER
HOUR BY THE HOUR
THAT YOU DID IN ME CONQUER

THAT SWEET VENOM
THAT SPREADS LIKE YOU MOM
THAT IS YOUR LOVE YOU BESTOW UNTO ME
YOUR LOVE YOU WANT ME TO SEE
THE PERSON YOU LONG FOR ME TO BE
"LIKE YOU"
JUST LIKE YOU DO...
WITHERED IN LOST SELFISHLY...

I'LL CRY YES ILL CRY"
JUST LET IT SUCK ME OUT DRY...
"LOVE THIS PAIN THAT IS WHY"
NOTHING PERSONAL, NOTHING NEW...
JUST WORDS THAT ARE TRUE
 GOODBYE...
Written by NANCY_RDZ_STORIES (WRITER LYRICIST ARTIST)
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NANCY_RDZ_STORIES said:

A mothers heart
Can sometimes break yours apart

Rjm
Rjm
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom
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Joined 10th Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 27

Traitors Heart

Our hearts are vessels for deceit
Living in hope they donít secrete
To spill our deepest darkest deeds
To expose our ever hungry needs

When the one we love is with another
And the one we have, our childís mother
How can we forget feelings found
When life already finds us tightly bound

How do we live with this truth denied
Denying all that we desire inside
When we hunger for just one feast
But meal denied to this caged beast

When every day this mindís consumed
And each night these thoughts exhumed
When she slumbers at my side
But the feel of you still resides

Can there be a greater sin
Than the betrayal of next of kin
But no matter of my guilt
I keep on loving at full tilt



ďShe's got a heart of gold, she'd never let me down
But you're the one that always turns me on
You keep me comin' 'roundĒ
Bryan Adams, Run to you
Written by Rjm
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kathyrivers
kathyrivers
Kathy Rivers
Twisted Dreamer
United States
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Joined 23rd Jan 2020
Forum Posts: 24

great quote!!!!

kathyrivers
kathyrivers
Kathy Rivers
Twisted Dreamer
United States
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Joined 23rd Jan 2020
Forum Posts: 24

BenJohnson said:ďTo hide feelings when you are near crying is the secret of dignity.Ē
― Dejan Stojanovic


great quote!!

JOY
JOY
Joybell
Lost Thinker
Australia
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Joined 13th Nov 2019
Forum Posts: 9

The Red Queen

Want to hear a secret    
Promise you won't tell.... †
Inside my minds' dark corners † †
Resides a living hell † †

Enthroned within, a three year old † †
Dubbed the Red Queen † †  
Obey her commands † †  
Surrender to her demands † †
Otherwise, she stomps and screams † †
†  
A shriek so piercing † †  
eardrums explode. † †  
Abused by those in power † †
Feeling cheated, and alone † †

Cunning.. † †
Batters her ocean blue †eyes † †
Approach with caution. † †  
Don't be †fooled † †
Unrecognizable her disguise †
† †  
Her face, her smile, that laugh † †
Weapons of mass destruction † †
Flaming red hair † †
A temper to match † †
 
Despair, †her entertainment † †  
Love a foreign sensation † †
Hate her singular emotion †
Quick as lightning, without warning, † †  
she morphs...  
† †  
The Red Queen, now a woman † †  
Smarter than the child † †
Captivated by her presence † †
Resistance futile † †  

Subtle, she lures victims † †  
Intoxicated by her power † †
Refining her skills † †
Bathing in their †blood †  
†  
Her crown of bones † †
Firmly in place † †
She knows.... † †  
Compelled to exact revenge † †
Punished by her hands † †  

Her every move strategic † †
Strength from instilled fears † †
Practice make perfect † †
She is perfection † †

After all, she IS the queen.... † †  
of Hell! † †
Controlling all executions † †
"Off With Their Heads!! † †
(Alice in Wonderland) † †
† †  
ď© Australian † †
Copyright Council "
Written by JOY (Joybell)
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Wordsmith
Wordsmith
Sire Superwhizy
Lost Thinker
Nigeria
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Joined 5th Nov 2019
Forum Posts: 7

Let me be

Friends wants me to be a sailor
But I don't wanna go beyond the shore
They cut me off

Father wants me to be a doctor
But I'd faint at the sight of blood
He left me to rot

Mother wants me to be an engineer
Damn! I don't wanna be such
"She says; You're too weak my son"

My brother wants me to be a soldier
Nah! I just wanna be raw
"Okay; but don't end up joining thugs"

Girlfriend want me to be a pilot
But height scare me too much

Everybody wants me to be something
But I want to be none

Neighbours want me to be a professor
But I careth not

They labelled me as "Not-serious"
They called me names
"Boy without dream"
"Living without aim"
"He's content with living in shit"
"He never want to improve"
"Don't you have something to prove"
"Ohw; seems he has nothing to lose"
"He wants to survive only"
"He's used to been lonely"

Fuck
I'm tired of been judge

See
There they sit
With their pen and ink
Painting me weak
And they thought me mean
Gossiping
But I just wanna be me
I just want to live
And leave peacefully
Without a heck of unlikely dreams
That's my philosophy
And if it doesn't go well with thee
Call me what you see
Words you speak
Don't move me a inch
I'll forever be who I want to be
Written by Wordsmith (Sire Superwhizy)
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Wordsmith
Wordsmith
Sire Superwhizy
Lost Thinker
Nigeria
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Joined 5th Nov 2019
Forum Posts: 7

Chess with the devil

And so I walk in
Into the devilís inn
And Aye! I found the devil sitting on his usual chair
In that dark room filled with smoky air
Still seated facing his golden chess
Thinking whoís next heíd trick to hell
Knock! Knock! Is anybody in
He already knew itís me
He pull his metallic door stylishly
Raising his hand Hi-ing me
Ehy man; here you are again
Tell me; this time, whatís your aim
Tell me; without me; what have you attain
After all; you understand my style of game
He offered me a place
To sit dimensionally face to face
Dear devil, after striving for a while
Iíve come to understand your style
Though Iím yet to realise
Why you choose this path
What has mankind done to ya
That you affiliate yourself to all his wants
Money, power, fame, skyscraper, empire
Even knowledge and earthy desire
Tell me; whatís your sole goal
Iíve seen folks
Sold their soul
For fame and gold
Cash, diamond, glittering things
And all other worldly things
I pinch a pawn
By its head and sets it down
The devil winces as if he knows my next move
Dear devil; what would you do
He reflect my move
By a pawn of his own too
This Iíve learn
That human are so greedy
They yearn for much interest
Than what they invest
They intend to gain huge
Than what they ought to
Celebrities thirst for fame
Louder; like china made
Politicians hungers for power
Even if itíd reduce their glass hour
The poor want to make it big
Survivers want to live
The wealthy want to get more rich
They force their way to top the cliff
I slide another pawn towards
his territories and slightly move it forward
As I always tell you man
God and I exist in different clan
With different plan
For you mankind
I am bestowed every glittering things in this life
Ambitions, dreams, power, desires
You want to live for eternity
I can give you immortality
You want that diamond ring
That bling and bling
Wealth and health remixed
Long life elixir
Geniusity; polymatheism
Supreme intelligence
Woman of perfect form
I can help you divert their thought
And theyíd pass their love
To you alone
Mention any worldly luxury
Then my hand is in all of it
Let me give you a hint
Once you start craving for more than you worked for
Just know that Iím involved
The devil match past my pawn
I bouncingly count out squares
Then move my knight to a pawn neighbouring near
He quickly move another pawn forward
Oh devil; this time youíve run
Into a concrete wall
See; I still have my soul
And I am sure will achieve my goal
Without you been in role
I move forward another knight
But yet the devil doesnít feel fright
Now, dear devil
Why do you choose to be a rebel
Against human being
And the clan of jinn
And the devil reply
See; what happened between God and I
That got me demonise
Is manís polymath
See; before the creation of man
I was once loyal; I live at the apex
I dwelt amidst angels
Worshipped God day and night
I walked in the path of light
But the interference of your kind
Turn me to this revengeful type
The fact that I was locked out of heavenís gate
Filled me with rage and hate
For every offspring
Of Adam and Eve
He angrily slide his bishop between two pawns
Preparing for an attack
No matter what you do
I will not grant you my soul
Your attempts are futile
I donít have a thing to sacrifice
I twirl my finger around the tip top
And advances another pawn
He take out my pawn with a knight
Intentionally opening a destruction path for my bishop
Oh; devil, this time I wonít give up
Though your intellect is far superior to mine
But this game will rather end up a tie
Itís too late
Man; youíve fallen a bait
Right now; you canít deflate
At this point you canít walk away
From this game
The devil further takes out my knight with his bishop
Then suddenly, I screamed ĎStop!í
He noticed my facial expression
Filled with total frustration
I feel hesitant to move my pieces
The devil knew he'd pissed me
I move another pawn, though I know it will be killed
Dear devil; I am been careful with my piece
Donít want to run into any deal
Dear devil; I canít continue this game
Iíd be back in few days
Until then; let me be
I wonít sign any deal
The devil laughed and somewhat grinned
But still baffled with the fact that he hasnít win
...................
Written by Wordsmith (Sire Superwhizy)
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JOY
JOY
Joybell
Lost Thinker
Australia
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Joined 13th Nov 2019
Forum Posts: 9

Opps, Uploaded poem twice, sorry my error

h_kay
h_kay
Strange Creature
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Joined 11th Feb 2020
Forum Posts: 1

the first love, now the backup plan.

i'm lying on my back in the fetal position, sobbing in on the shower floor.
no sound will come out accept me gasping desperately for air.
i held the blade to my skin
one
two
three
i lost count after the 20th mark
my blood is mixing with the water rushing down the drain.
i can't feel anything.
pulling myself together, i put on a pair of joggers and a hoodie and show up at your door.
no matter much it hurts to see you with her,
i will still be right by your side when you need me.
or when you get excited about something with her and need to share.
remembering the days when you loved me this way.
Written by h_kay
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BigG
BigG
Lost Thinker
United Kingdom
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Joined 26th Nov 2019
Forum Posts: 8

Numb

How can one love
If they cannot feel,
You broke my soul
While kicking my heart,
I try not to mention
For I may well crumble,
But Writing may ease
When all's down on a canvas,
Lonely drifting from
Place to place
Never finding those safe
feelings and looks
Of a true magical soul,
You stole my youth,
And banished my friends,
The secrets I told you
Was not yours to share
Of a Childhood scarred
By the ones I loved,
I hope some day karma will come
And repay you from
The hurt you cast upon
Such a troubled child,

Written by BigG
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Blackwolf
Blackwolf
I.M.Blackwolf
Dangerous Mind
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Joined 31st Mar 2018
Forum Posts: 1058

BenJohnson said:ďTo hide feelings when you are near crying is the secret of dignity.Ē
― Dejan Stojanovic


Just to counter this statement which I
absolutely disagree with , as it takes
away the dignity of emotion , as the
basis for the feeling of human experience :

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6xhQag0Pi4

I shall submit ( though I never submit ) my poem tomorrow...

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