Popular Funny Poems
#funny
Popular funny poems. Poems are listed in order of their popularity this month.
brokentitanium
k.
k.
Poem Published
28th Mar 2025 6:23pm
28th Mar 2025 6:23pm
Weird Canadian Fridge Poetry
Love is a stampede
of beautiful geese
destroying my igloo
Chill, eh?
Hold my beer,
this lumberjack is fierce.
Sorry, cowboy.
.
of beautiful geese
destroying my igloo
Chill, eh?
Hold my beer,
this lumberjack is fierce.
Sorry, cowboy.
.
#dragons
#funny
#inspirational
#LifeGoals
#rebellion
109 reads
11 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
21st Mar 2025 10:19pm
21st Mar 2025 10:19pm
Ready or Not, Here I CUM
#dirty
#erotic
#funny
#orgasm
#sex
436 reads
8 Comments
wallyroo92
Poem Published
4th Apr 2025 8:18pm
4th Apr 2025 8:18pm
Lemon Meringue
You say lemon meringue
I say cheesecake
Either way
I know all of us indulge in those little temptations
The way we ourselves enjoy those moments
When the taste hits our tongues
The senses awaken
The mind folds its arms in disapproval
Knowing we broke the rules
We slid back to square one
Once I have a slice
I don’t count the calories
I start calculating
How many miles do I have to run to burn this?
What pace do I have to maintain?
But in the meantime
As I take another bite
I can hear myself hum ...
I say cheesecake
Either way
I know all of us indulge in those little temptations
The way we ourselves enjoy those moments
When the taste hits our tongues
The senses awaken
The mind folds its arms in disapproval
Knowing we broke the rules
We slid back to square one
Once I have a slice
I don’t count the calories
I start calculating
How many miles do I have to run to burn this?
What pace do I have to maintain?
But in the meantime
As I take another bite
I can hear myself hum ...
#food
#funny
51 reads
3 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
6th Apr 2025 3:50pm
6th Apr 2025 3:50pm
Hell yeah!
I literally have deaf people,
That harrass me.
Wearing their little vests.
I'm gonna get me a vest that says,
"I'm A Person Who Doesn't Give A Shit!"
Teehee! :P
That harrass me.
Wearing their little vests.
I'm gonna get me a vest that says,
"I'm A Person Who Doesn't Give A Shit!"
Teehee! :P
#funny
#inspirational
96 reads
7 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
28th Mar 2025 7:48pm
28th Mar 2025 7:48pm
There's No Place Like Home
Do you like my investigation?
Is it going well?
I think we should bring the Feds in,
On this whole goddamn town!
All the guys at registers,
Are staring me down.
The police never care,
If I'm fucking around.
They like to watch.
They like to listen.
Should we make them stop?
It's hard to be distant.
Ill investigate,
The situation.
You just sit back and watch,
I appreciate your participation :)
Is it going well?
I think we should bring the Feds in,
On this whole goddamn town!
All the guys at registers,
Are staring me down.
The police never care,
If I'm fucking around.
They like to watch.
They like to listen.
Should we make them stop?
It's hard to be distant.
Ill investigate,
The situation.
You just sit back and watch,
I appreciate your participation :)
#funny
#porn
#ThrillSeeking
107 reads
12 Comments
Pinkdreams
Poem Published
30th Mar 2025 1:27am
30th Mar 2025 1:27am
A Waitress Named Raisin
My sister works in public health
I work in public education
We hear a lot of weird names
We like texting them to each other:
I have a new client whose son's name is Marco Polo
Marco! Polo!
That's awesome I text back
Perhaps he'll summon ancient memories of his adventures on the Silk Road
A few weeks back I'd texted her one:
There's a new student at my school named Gorgeous!
J texts back the inevitable: Is she?
She's just okay.
And so on.
So when I arrive before my friend at the breakfast...
I work in public education
We hear a lot of weird names
We like texting them to each other:
I have a new client whose son's name is Marco Polo
Marco! Polo!
That's awesome I text back
Perhaps he'll summon ancient memories of his adventures on the Silk Road
A few weeks back I'd texted her one:
There's a new student at my school named Gorgeous!
J texts back the inevitable: Is she?
She's just okay.
And so on.
So when I arrive before my friend at the breakfast...
#aging
#funny
95 reads
3 Comments
MalcolmG
Poem Published
16th Mar 2025 6:19pm
16th Mar 2025 6:19pm
Public Display of Dismay
There once was a man quite outrageous,
Who’d pull out his cock, quite voracious.
At a wedding, a store,
He’d show it once more,
And the cops found it truly audacious!
At the courthouse, he made his big stand,
With his cock still in his hand, quite unplanned.
But the judge said, “Oh please,
This is just a disease,”
And they banned him from all public land!
Na Na naaaaa - dirty bastard..
Who’d pull out his cock, quite voracious.
At a wedding, a store,
He’d show it once more,
And the cops found it truly audacious!
At the courthouse, he made his big stand,
With his cock still in his hand, quite unplanned.
But the judge said, “Oh please,
This is just a disease,”
And they banned him from all public land!
Na Na naaaaa - dirty bastard..
#funny
71 reads
9 Comments
Wafflenose
Ellie
Ellie
Poem Published
2nd Apr 2025 1:00pm
2nd Apr 2025 1:00pm
ii
Yo!
Hi!
If it is on, we go in.
Is it on? It IS on!
So, in we go!
Do go on.
Is he up?
Do it—
he is an ex!
Oh.
So be it.
Aw!
An op, OK?
Ya.
OW!
Is Ma or Pa by me?
My Ma. My Pa.
Er, we go to be.
Ha ha ha.
Mm hm...
da de da,
la de da,
ta ti ta!
As mu is of nu,
mi of pi;
ye go by
on an ox.
To go at it
in an ax,
oi, um... sh!
Ho ho ho.
Ah! Am on it.
It is so... EW!
It is by us....
Hi!
If it is on, we go in.
Is it on? It IS on!
So, in we go!
Do go on.
Is he up?
Do it—
he is an ex!
Oh.
So be it.
Aw!
An op, OK?
Ya.
OW!
Is Ma or Pa by me?
My Ma. My Pa.
Er, we go to be.
Ha ha ha.
Mm hm...
da de da,
la de da,
ta ti ta!
As mu is of nu,
mi of pi;
ye go by
on an ox.
To go at it
in an ax,
oi, um... sh!
Ho ho ho.
Ah! Am on it.
It is so... EW!
It is by us....
#funny
#surreal
56 reads
6 Comments
DaisyGrace
Poem Published
12th Apr 2025 00:53am
12th Apr 2025 00:53am
Stepping into the Ring, Having Just Been Kicked out of the Boys’ Competition, PYTHAGORAS OF SAMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOS!!!!!!!!
There once was a Lickety Split
who knew how to take a hard hit.
He’d wiggle and shake,
refused all the brakes,
and got out of there, fast with his wit.
“His wit,” you ask and you scratch,
“is no good in a fisticuffs match.”
But he made them all dizzy
when he whirled in a tizzy
while spewing mathematical facts.
The aggressors were no good at sums,
they should have been sucking their thumbs.
They thought he’d gone crazy,
but always got hazy,
and with a calculated punch, they succumbed.
who knew how to take a hard hit.
He’d wiggle and shake,
refused all the brakes,
and got out of there, fast with his wit.
“His wit,” you ask and you scratch,
“is no good in a fisticuffs match.”
But he made them all dizzy
when he whirled in a tizzy
while spewing mathematical facts.
The aggressors were no good at sums,
they should have been sucking their thumbs.
They thought he’d gone crazy,
but always got hazy,
and with a calculated punch, they succumbed.
#funny
14 reads
2 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
29th Mar 2025 11:42pm
29th Mar 2025 11:42pm
US GOV
They call to lie,
Don't care if you die,
Just wasting your time on,
Porn sites.
Next time you call,
Make sure my daughter is around,
She doesn't have anyone,
To ask how she feels.
Will she end up on some porn site?
Because all the government does,
Is victimize.
Talk to my daughter.
Act like a father.
She'd prefer a stand up guy,
Not one that manipulates and lies.
You got power?
Treat her like a queen.
Compared to you and your friends,
She should be the king.
Children...
Don't care if you die,
Just wasting your time on,
Porn sites.
Next time you call,
Make sure my daughter is around,
She doesn't have anyone,
To ask how she feels.
Will she end up on some porn site?
Because all the government does,
Is victimize.
Talk to my daughter.
Act like a father.
She'd prefer a stand up guy,
Not one that manipulates and lies.
You got power?
Treat her like a queen.
Compared to you and your friends,
She should be the king.
Children...
#funny
94 reads
5 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
30th Mar 2025 8:58am
30th Mar 2025 8:58am
Hmmm...
When you know a person,
Who is forced to have the government,
Follow them around,
And try and force that on you,
At the expense of your child,
Is that a good person?
Or should they have minded their own business?
Should they have tried to be your "friend"?
Why do people care about them?
I don't think they do.
I think they use her all the time.
I think she thinks I can't get inside her mind.
She relies on fake people,
Looking past her at me.
I'm a more valuable,
Commodity....
Who is forced to have the government,
Follow them around,
And try and force that on you,
At the expense of your child,
Is that a good person?
Or should they have minded their own business?
Should they have tried to be your "friend"?
Why do people care about them?
I don't think they do.
I think they use her all the time.
I think she thinks I can't get inside her mind.
She relies on fake people,
Looking past her at me.
I'm a more valuable,
Commodity....
#funny
#philosophical
#TruthOfLife
80 reads
6 Comments
Vision_of_insanity
Poem Published
9th Apr 2025 11:17pm
9th Apr 2025 11:17pm
Pecker Slapper
#dirty
#family
#funny
#lyrics
#sex
150 reads
4 Comments
DU Poetry : Popular Funny Poems
