Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
Indie
Miss Indie
Miss Indie
Poem Published
Today 5:37am
Today 5:37am
just another day (Feb 14)
I spent the day making paper lanterns
and chasing my 4 year old around
pretending they were jellyfish
the sound of his laughter
in the list of top 10 things
I've ever heard
We made an overbaked strawberry cake
for Valentine's Day
drew a jam heart in the centre
before we put it in the oven
it came out looking like a murder scene
so I added maserated strawberries
to try and improve upon it
and perhaps I did
because it now looks like
mushy disemboweled organs
are crawling out of the murder heart ...
and chasing my 4 year old around
pretending they were jellyfish
the sound of his laughter
in the list of top 10 things
I've ever heard
We made an overbaked strawberry cake
for Valentine's Day
drew a jam heart in the centre
before we put it in the oven
it came out looking like a murder scene
so I added maserated strawberries
to try and improve upon it
and perhaps I did
because it now looks like
mushy disemboweled organs
are crawling out of the murder heart ...
#childhood
#children
#family
#funny
#love
48 reads
8 Comments
ObliviousRay
Poem Published
Today 4:12am
Today 4:12am
Royal Blue
#funny
#seductive
#SelfReflection
10 reads
0 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
Today 2:13am
Today 2:13am
Silence
When people experience silence,
For the first time.
Because they forgot what it felt like.
And get depressed.
Then wonder why someone,
Won't talk to them.
Because all they remember is being laughed at,
And kept alone.
By people that want to be their friends.
When people finally realize,
They're a massive piece of shit.
Then try to convince you,
You shouldn't get rid of it.
Really makes you question,
The IQ of these idiots.
So I keep being silent.
So I can experience.
Reality bitch...
For the first time.
Because they forgot what it felt like.
And get depressed.
Then wonder why someone,
Won't talk to them.
Because all they remember is being laughed at,
And kept alone.
By people that want to be their friends.
When people finally realize,
They're a massive piece of shit.
Then try to convince you,
You shouldn't get rid of it.
Really makes you question,
The IQ of these idiots.
So I keep being silent.
So I can experience.
Reality bitch...
#funny
#TruthOfLife
36 reads
4 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 00:29am
Yesterday 00:29am
It's Funny
It's funny
I have cider, and red wine
Both collecting dust
But whenever i have mead in the house
Drink it i Must!
It's funny
I don't like honey
In drinks, or on toast
I love it in a pewter goblet
Or a glass at most
It's funny
That i love smoking weed
When drinking mead
That they happen to rhyme
Is a little sublime
It's funny
I imagine a dinosaur
Would find me quite a delight
Full basted in herbs, and honey
I'm sure i'd make a delicious bite!
It's funny
You see ...
I have cider, and red wine
Both collecting dust
But whenever i have mead in the house
Drink it i Must!
It's funny
I don't like honey
In drinks, or on toast
I love it in a pewter goblet
Or a glass at most
It's funny
That i love smoking weed
When drinking mead
That they happen to rhyme
Is a little sublime
It's funny
I imagine a dinosaur
Would find me quite a delight
Full basted in herbs, and honey
I'm sure i'd make a delicious bite!
It's funny
You see ...
#alcohol
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#marijuana
#satirical
21 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
12th Feb 2025 3:56pm
12th Feb 2025 3:56pm
Only Be A Sec (xSixty!)
A
Minutia
Of
Minute (rhymes with newt!)
Minute ( ditto init!)
Minuets
by Jemia
Minutia
Of
Minute (rhymes with newt!)
Minute ( ditto init!)
Minuets
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #PowerOfWords
#philosophical #PowerOfWords
26 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
12th Feb 2025 3:34pm
12th Feb 2025 3:34pm
Not You
"You
like
stale,
dry,
bread?"
"Also
drink
cold
tea,
tis
true!"
"But
that's
me,
not
you!"
by Jemia
like
stale,
dry,
bread?"
"Also
drink
cold
tea,
tis
true!"
"But
that's
me,
not
you!"
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#myself #satirical
#myself #satirical
24 reads
0 Comments
wallyroo92
Bumped 12th Feb 2025 2:42am
21st Sep 2019 4:56pm
21st Sep 2019 4:56pm
Slip of the Tongue
Nice to eat you", he told her when he met her,
Pausing for a second as he shook her hand,
She was stunning and impeccably dressed,
The interview might not go according to plan.
"Nice to meat you", she responded with a smile,
(She knew her inflexion and what she meant)
Feeling a warmth trickling all over her body,
But now their subconscious began to vent.
"So tell me a little bit a butt yourself?" she asked,
Interested in him but not trying to make a pass,
"Ass you can see in my resume I studied economics,
I’m proud...
Pausing for a second as he shook her hand,
She was stunning and impeccably dressed,
The interview might not go according to plan.
"Nice to meat you", she responded with a smile,
(She knew her inflexion and what she meant)
Feeling a warmth trickling all over her body,
But now their subconscious began to vent.
"So tell me a little bit a butt yourself?" she asked,
Interested in him but not trying to make a pass,
"Ass you can see in my resume I studied economics,
I’m proud...
#erotic
#funny
840 reads
11 Comments
backdeckbenny
Poem Published
11th Feb 2025 7:26am
11th Feb 2025 7:26am
There's a thief in town.
My house was robbed last night.
The thief broke in while I slept and stole my hair,hearing and eyesight.
Not content with that,on waking, my wife also noticed that my ass had been stolen.All that remained was a saggy old bag, barely capable of keeping my pants up.
I alerted the police who told me there had been a spate of similar robberies involving people of a certain age.
They assured me that they had s brilliant team working on the case and I could contact "strikeforce buttcrack" if I needed any further assistance.
Needless to say, my...
The thief broke in while I slept and stole my hair,hearing and eyesight.
Not content with that,on waking, my wife also noticed that my ass had been stolen.All that remained was a saggy old bag, barely capable of keeping my pants up.
I alerted the police who told me there had been a spate of similar robberies involving people of a certain age.
They assured me that they had s brilliant team working on the case and I could contact "strikeforce buttcrack" if I needed any further assistance.
Needless to say, my...
#funny
36 reads
6 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
11th Feb 2025 1:33am
11th Feb 2025 1:33am
Lawless
How can the government protect your privacy,
Without being private?
How do you investigate,
And not masturbate?
How do you pretend you're real,
And avoid forgetting you're not?
How do you make friends,
When you know they're all cops?
Why vote on old legislation,
Canada and Mexico have already been bought?
More than 20 years ago.
It was part of the plot.
Trans America is never gonna stop.
Secret deals is where the government shops.
If the government was public,
We'd all be...
Without being private?
How do you investigate,
And not masturbate?
How do you pretend you're real,
And avoid forgetting you're not?
How do you make friends,
When you know they're all cops?
Why vote on old legislation,
Canada and Mexico have already been bought?
More than 20 years ago.
It was part of the plot.
Trans America is never gonna stop.
Secret deals is where the government shops.
If the government was public,
We'd all be...
#corruption
#funny
#philosophical #politics
#philosophical #politics
65 reads
9 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Feb 2025 3:35pm
10th Feb 2025 3:35pm
Keeping Up To Scratch
In the last week
Ive searched high, and low,
And tried to tweak
To finding a back scratcher
But as yet, haven't managed to capture
Anyone
With long enough nails
That's willing to do it for fun
With perhaps, the occasional pun
So making do
With chop sticks
And door frames too!
by Jemia
Ive searched high, and low,
And tried to tweak
To finding a back scratcher
But as yet, haven't managed to capture
Anyone
With long enough nails
That's willing to do it for fun
With perhaps, the occasional pun
So making do
With chop sticks
And door frames too!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #satirical
#philosophical #satirical
39 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Feb 2025 00:23am
10th Feb 2025 00:23am
Not A Book Worm
I moved into my new place of residence today
A lovely old wooden framed dwelling
With its own library
(I may become a book worm once ive settled!)
I should mention, that i don't own this property
And if the owners knew i was here
They would literally resort to any means to get me out
Even resorting to having me killed
So i keep a very low profile
Thus have moved into the loft
Hidden amongst the big oaken beams
I think i'm in luck
As i'm the only woodworm in the house!
by Jemia
A lovely old wooden framed dwelling
With its own library
(I may become a book worm once ive settled!)
I should mention, that i don't own this property
And if the owners knew i was here
They would literally resort to any means to get me out
Even resorting to having me killed
So i keep a very low profile
Thus have moved into the loft
Hidden amongst the big oaken beams
I think i'm in luck
As i'm the only woodworm in the house!
by Jemia
#funny
#nature
#philosophical
28 reads
0 Comments
PAR
Poem Published
9th Feb 2025 12:01pm
9th Feb 2025 12:01pm
Photopoetry of the ass
my poetry is about
my ass turned
to the moon in half
of my face and
in half of your own
out of focus photograph
and without the center of
gravitational pull
it's simply about
my ass gaping
in the face of others
whoever wants
to say that he didn't see
and the one who
just wants to take one
picture of his own ass
just like me!
my ass turned
to the moon in half
of my face and
in half of your own
out of focus photograph
and without the center of
gravitational pull
it's simply about
my ass gaping
in the face of others
whoever wants
to say that he didn't see
and the one who
just wants to take one
picture of his own ass
just like me!
#funny
#identity
#meditation
#mythology
#spiritual
62 reads
8 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
