Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#funny
funny seeking friendly advice poems. Friendly advice and comments have been requested for these poems.
Girthquake
Poem Published
17th Jan 2025 7:49am
17th Jan 2025 7:49am
Tales of Torture Vol. V
#BDSM
#erotic
#funny #sex
#funny #sex
180 reads
0 Comments
Girthquake
Poem Published
17th Jan 2025 7:44am
17th Jan 2025 7:44am
New Year
#BDSM
#dirty
#funny
#satirical
#sex
184 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
12th Jan 2025 1:03pm
12th Jan 2025 1:03pm
'I' Blames The BBC!
Since when
Did the first letter I
Become silent
In the word medicine?
Now pronounced as: medcine
Therefore:
Medcine ball?
Medcine doctor etc?
It's wrong!
Bring back the 'I'
Let it live again!
Poor thing, being ghosted like that...
'I' blames the BBC!
by Jemia
Did the first letter I
Become silent
In the word medicine?
Now pronounced as: medcine
Therefore:
Medcine ball?
Medcine doctor etc?
It's wrong!
Bring back the 'I'
Let it live again!
Poor thing, being ghosted like that...
'I' blames the BBC!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#PowerOfWords #satirical
#PowerOfWords #satirical
64 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
Pats On The Back!
Discovered
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
35 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 12:55pm
9th Jan 2025 12:55pm
Some Like It To Hot!
I have an orgy every night!
With oft times three joining me
One either side, and one betwixt my thighs
Things get very hot, especially with all that rubber!
Hoping for no leakages, replacements come cheap
I once was joined by four!
Things got really hot!
So i limit my orgies to just three, and me!
Or sometimes a simple menage a troix
When i was younger
I used to make do with one, which was fun
But with age, tis all the rage
To become more adventurous
And no longer limit myself
On how many hot water bottles
I go to bed...
With oft times three joining me
One either side, and one betwixt my thighs
Things get very hot, especially with all that rubber!
Hoping for no leakages, replacements come cheap
I once was joined by four!
Things got really hot!
So i limit my orgies to just three, and me!
Or sometimes a simple menage a troix
When i was younger
I used to make do with one, which was fun
But with age, tis all the rage
To become more adventurous
And no longer limit myself
On how many hot water bottles
I go to bed...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #sexy
#satirical #sexy
63 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Cheeky!
I don't like bums!
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#PowerOfWords
#satirical
43 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
August 31st 2019 (Big Camp)
Five days after performing at Hastings Pride
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
#funny
#happiness
#holiday
#LifeAsAWriter
#music
37 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
Going Batty
There's an antique bat
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
Am Bi?
Ambivert
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #satirical
#parody #satirical
36 reads
0 Comments
Shon
Poem Published
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
Your a poet.
Your
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#uplifting
37 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Jan 2025 11:35am
4th Jan 2025 11:35am
Me Cat. Com!
I know i'm in my sixties now
I'm not in denial of how
(Which means i am!)
Lies, lies, damn lies!!!
I'm actually twenty seven
With the curiousity of a cat
I'm a cat in a hat
With wings of a butterfly
(The cat ate the body, but left the wings!)
Poor butterfly, for goodness sake
That it should be used in a cake
Then end up in my mouth
As if by mistake!
by Jemia
I'm not in denial of how
(Which means i am!)
Lies, lies, damn lies!!!
I'm actually twenty seven
With the curiousity of a cat
I'm a cat in a hat
With wings of a butterfly
(The cat ate the body, but left the wings!)
Poor butterfly, for goodness sake
That it should be used in a cake
Then end up in my mouth
As if by mistake!
by Jemia
#aging
#butterfly
#cats
#funny
#satirical
48 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Jan 2025 8:51pm
3rd Jan 2025 8:51pm
Skinny Dipping
Some people
Have told me
you see
That i have skin
that is lovely
Which is fine
As long as
They have
no intentions
Of
turning me
And
making me chic
Into
a lampshade
EEEEK!
by Jemia
Have told me
you see
That i have skin
that is lovely
Which is fine
As long as
They have
no intentions
Of
turning me
And
making me chic
Into
a lampshade
EEEEK!
by Jemia
#beauty
#funny
#identity
#satirical
#scary
56 reads
0 Comments
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