Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
#funny
funny seeking friendly advice poems. Friendly advice and comments have been requested for these poems.
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Oct 2024 1:26am
26th Oct 2024 1:26am
Eve All
Eve
showed
up
For
the
Halloween
party
Everyone
said
"Hello
Eve!"
So
we
named
this
night
All
hello's
Eve!
by Jemia
showed
up
For
the
Halloween
party
Everyone
said
"Hello
Eve!"
So
we
named
this
night
All
hello's
Eve!
by Jemia
#funny
#Halloween
#satirical
40 reads
0 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
25th Oct 2024 2:10pm
25th Oct 2024 2:10pm
Warhol of Love
Warhol of Love
“Your bed sheets are tangled as though you’d just come in from a drunk. You must drink like a fish to have let your bed get into such a disarray.”
“I am a social drinker. Just a glass of Pinot Noir gets me through the night.”
“In the spirit of the women’s temperance society I look askance at men who need alcohol to make their nights placid. Is the liquor a red herring for a deeper existential angst such as a conflict between the id and the superego?”
“Not at all. My self-esteem is just fine why thank you.”
“I see you...
“Your bed sheets are tangled as though you’d just come in from a drunk. You must drink like a fish to have let your bed get into such a disarray.”
“I am a social drinker. Just a glass of Pinot Noir gets me through the night.”
“In the spirit of the women’s temperance society I look askance at men who need alcohol to make their nights placid. Is the liquor a red herring for a deeper existential angst such as a conflict between the id and the superego?”
“Not at all. My self-esteem is just fine why thank you.”
“I see you...
#art
#books
#funny
#learning
#romantic
88 reads
4 Comments
Bandymandy65
Poem Published
23rd Oct 2024 8:05pm
23rd Oct 2024 8:05pm
Food 4 thought
Robbie was a Rib you could tell he had good tone
Wet, warm and sticky you could even see his bone
He looked all sultry and had an engine like a rolls royce
The way he fell off the bone made women rather moist
His mates liked a laugh they always took the piss
Some days this made Robbie angry he didn't like being ribbed
This kinda talk just sent him rather spare
He just didn't join in, a reply was always rare
Karen was a corn on the cob and she was all steamy
With a look in her eyes which made her rather dreamy ...
Wet, warm and sticky you could even see his bone
He looked all sultry and had an engine like a rolls royce
The way he fell off the bone made women rather moist
His mates liked a laugh they always took the piss
Some days this made Robbie angry he didn't like being ribbed
This kinda talk just sent him rather spare
He just didn't join in, a reply was always rare
Karen was a corn on the cob and she was all steamy
With a look in her eyes which made her rather dreamy ...
#dirty
#erotic
#food
#funny
#rhyming
147 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
As Quiet As A Mouse! (acrostic 5-7-5)
Cat
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
28 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Oct 2024 00:51am
22nd Oct 2024 00:51am
Ducky
What
to
eat?
I
really
don't
know?
I
think
i'll
eat
An
Platypus
toe!
"Waiter!
where's
the
bill?"
by Jemia
to
eat?
I
really
don't
know?
I
think
i'll
eat
An
Platypus
toe!
"Waiter!
where's
the
bill?"
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#satirical
44 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Oct 2024 00:42am
22nd Oct 2024 00:42am
Four Times The Size Of Planet Earth
"Doctor, ive got a pain in my anus (ah-nus)"
"Don't you mean anus? (ay-nus)"
"No!"
"It'e pronounced differently now, because
of the changing in the pronounciation
of rhe planet Uranus now ur-a-nus"
"Ur-a-nus?"
"Yes doctor"
"Not Ur-ay-nus then?"
"Well, that's what i'm here for!"
Upon examining....
"Well, your anus, is four times the size of
planet Earth!" declared the doctor
"I blame it all on Cronus
It wasn't Uranus's anus ...
"Don't you mean anus? (ay-nus)"
"No!"
"It'e pronounced differently now, because
of the changing in the pronounciation
of rhe planet Uranus now ur-a-nus"
"Ur-a-nus?"
"Yes doctor"
"Not Ur-ay-nus then?"
"Well, that's what i'm here for!"
Upon examining....
"Well, your anus, is four times the size of
planet Earth!" declared the doctor
"I blame it all on Cronus
It wasn't Uranus's anus ...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#mythology #satirical
#mythology #satirical
46 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
17th Oct 2024 10:06pm
17th Oct 2024 10:06pm
Bless you...
God spilled the glow of magic dust He'd got
and it swirled around and got up his nose,
He, Achooed it all up Eve's Honeypot!
So fellas now you know on your last shot
when you wonder why your thingy just don't grow
God spilled the glow of magic dust He'd got.
Although it kinda puts you on the spot
there's this secret not many of you know
He Achooed it all up Eve's Honeypot!
Yeah, yeah, it's tiresome when you get hot
and nothing's happening just down below
God spilled the glow of magic dust He'd got,
And you're...
and it swirled around and got up his nose,
He, Achooed it all up Eve's Honeypot!
So fellas now you know on your last shot
when you wonder why your thingy just don't grow
God spilled the glow of magic dust He'd got.
Although it kinda puts you on the spot
there's this secret not many of you know
He Achooed it all up Eve's Honeypot!
Yeah, yeah, it's tiresome when you get hot
and nothing's happening just down below
God spilled the glow of magic dust He'd got,
And you're...
#villanelle
#funny
#sex
73 reads
3 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Oct 2024 4:13pm
17th Oct 2024 4:13pm
Twat Hat
I was out one day
When someone enquired of me
"Why on earth
Are you wearing
Knickers on your head?"
I said
"Oh no!"
"Ive done it again!
"You cannot imagine
Where i'm now wearing my hat!"
by Jemia
When someone enquired of me
"Why on earth
Are you wearing
Knickers on your head?"
I said
"Oh no!"
"Ive done it again!
"You cannot imagine
Where i'm now wearing my hat!"
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical
72 reads
5 Comments
Shinobi
Poem Published
17th Oct 2024 2:42pm
17th Oct 2024 2:42pm
Peanut Butter Sandwich In Parliament
he strolled down the lane
taking peanut butter sandwiches
to the prime minister, while
whistling a jaunty tune, about
fool's gold and a baboon.
he knocked at the door
from the chamber there was an uproar
switching off the telly, labor
wanted jelly, to fill their fat bellies
and as for the torries, they
want to regal him about war
and past glories, while they
jumped into foxholes, smearing
themselves in marmite.
a comedy of errors, a cast of characters
that were caricatures of themselves...
taking peanut butter sandwiches
to the prime minister, while
whistling a jaunty tune, about
fool's gold and a baboon.
he knocked at the door
from the chamber there was an uproar
switching off the telly, labor
wanted jelly, to fill their fat bellies
and as for the torries, they
want to regal him about war
and past glories, while they
jumped into foxholes, smearing
themselves in marmite.
a comedy of errors, a cast of characters
that were caricatures of themselves...
#consumerism
#food
#funny
#politics
#rhyming
117 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Oct 2024 3:40am
17th Oct 2024 3:40am
Midnight In The Park
The witching hour
Like a blossoming lily white flower
Arrives at twelve o'clock midday
For those that go the white witch way
The others long for a midnight dark
Where they linger in the park
Dancing, and prancing, and drinking mead
Casting spells, and occasional smells,
Of a very distinctive breed
I don't see myself as particularly dark
But i quite fancy midnight in the park
by Jemia
Like a blossoming lily white flower
Arrives at twelve o'clock midday
For those that go the white witch way
The others long for a midnight dark
Where they linger in the park
Dancing, and prancing, and drinking mead
Casting spells, and occasional smells,
Of a very distinctive breed
I don't see myself as particularly dark
But i quite fancy midnight in the park
by Jemia
#funny
#magic
#pagan #witches
#pagan #witches
70 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
14th Oct 2024 2:19am
14th Oct 2024 2:19am
All At Sea!
I, without any help of any kind, moved a 350 tonne ship!
This came about, at aged 19, i was in the merchant navy
And for fun, i decided to board the ship pirate style
I started to pull myself along the main line rope, all seemed okay at first
but the nearer i got close to half way across, i felt the rope slacken
and as it slackened, i began to get closer, and closer to the water
not realising that my 10.5st weight could cause a 350 tonne ship to move!
I felt myself begin to panic. the ships life boat was already in the water
as we tested it regularly. a...
This came about, at aged 19, i was in the merchant navy
And for fun, i decided to board the ship pirate style
I started to pull myself along the main line rope, all seemed okay at first
but the nearer i got close to half way across, i felt the rope slacken
and as it slackened, i began to get closer, and closer to the water
not realising that my 10.5st weight could cause a 350 tonne ship to move!
I felt myself begin to panic. the ships life boat was already in the water
as we tested it regularly. a...
#fear
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #myself
#LifeAsAWriter #myself
56 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Oct 2024 6:21pm
7th Oct 2024 6:21pm
What A Hoo-ha! (5-7-5)
Playing
Hoopla
games
Foreplay
for
fallen
angels
With
misplaced
halos
by Jemia
Hoopla
games
Foreplay
for
fallen
angels
With
misplaced
halos
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #satirical
#parody #satirical
50 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Seeking Friendly Advice Poems
