1+1 ≠ 2

They always told me,
It’s hard to find what you don’t know you’re looking for
But overtime I’ve realized it’s much harder to find what’s hidden inside of yourself.

That moment when your heart is troubled with all the worries of the uncertain future.
Wondering what you’d do with your life, or whether you’re doing the right thing.

It gets even harder when you’re back at home, at night, in your room, doors closed and you’re all alone—far away from your friends and the voices start pouring in:- “but what are you doing with your life?”, “What if today where your last day, would you be content with the life you’ve lived?”

So you first get angry with your brain for a bit for being too meddling. before you know it, your heart has also joined the brain so they’re both screaming at you at the same time. You look for an escape—something that can save you from yourself, but only shooting blanks.

And then the heart starts to pound, swifter.
And at that moment, you squeeze yourself in the smallest corner of the room you can find—so you don’t feel like you’re occupying space that doesn’t belong to you.

But as the tears start to drop inadvertently—feeling like a loser, you hear a voice—more like a whisper, “but you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be you—you’re already enough!”. “And as long as you still got breathe in your lungs, God’s still got a plan for you.”

At that moment when you’re all squeezed in that corner, you learn to silence all those voices & people that tell you you’re not enough. You realize that words are very powerful and that the things we tell ourselves or what other people tell us have a big impact on us than we acknowledge.

Then you conclude that yes, it’s hard to find what’s hidden inside of oneself. But it gets easier the moment one starts being honest with oneself and what one wants out of life and having the courage to go after that every single day.