Just something you say

Dear S,

I agree with you. Self absorption can be a blinding experience. Hard conversations are not for the weak minded either. I like your observation about us being so good at pretending not noticing is common place. I’m so glad you stopped in tonight. Thank you for your lovely comment. H🌷

Unless someone goes up to them and talks to them they don't know anything.
Eyesight might come into play

Dear D,

You make a very insightful point. “Eye sight might come into play”, love it. If only more people were that perceptive. Thank you very much for your thoughtful visit and comment. I’m very grateful. H🌷

Fine means you feel like shit

When someone asks me how I feel, I say "fair to below average"

Dear PS,

“Fair to below average”, fantastic! Love it and may have to borrow it. I agree 100% feeling fine does equate to shite. I guess how it depends on how much you want to delve into the deeper topics standing online at the market when you run into someone. All I know is fair to below average is totally brill! Thank you for this gem. X
H🌷

relate ... bless and love ... ..

Dear F,

Thank you. While I’m sorry you can relate I’m a bit less isolated in feeling it. Thank you so much, I’m very happy to see you tonight. H🌷

You are not alone, of course ... we all feel so at times and good to put it out there ... Happy to be a cause for your happiness ... Bless and much love ...  

Very interesting. I sometimes think I've known people for years but that they don't actually know me at all.

Dear L,

So true. I feel certain we all can hold onto a part of ourselves that never gets revealed but some things blatantly apparent are ignored due to the heaviness of truth. I’m so glad to see you. Thank you for your lovely insight. H🌷

Hi H:)

For me (as writers) we depend on words. To carry our point across - to engage people.
Real life is a totally different. Body language and tone are so much more important - at least for me.
This blends it all in so well. The words and tone are striking amiga:)

Dear A,

Agreed. More can be said with a look than all the words in a lexicon. And yet…here we are, vulnerable and alone in our thoughts. Thank you very much for your wonderfully insightful thoughtfulness. I really appreciated the delineation between real life and writing life. The two can be a bit messy but sometimes they are plainly separate.
Thank you so much. H🌷

I like that this made me think. We need something to replace How are you. Just not sure what it is.

Dear PD,

I agree and to date I haven’t come up with anything verbally. As a culprit of the “I’m fine” club I hold myself accountable. There’s something out there. We’ll find it. Thank you very much for your thoughtful comment. I’m so glad to see you. H🌷

No way!   Did you accidentally drop a poem in here?  Since you hardly ever post one... lol.

And, somehow you read my mind.  Because your poem is this month for me.  It's been crazy.  So your words are a sort of comfort, in that we can take solace in that it isn't that misery loves company.  But that company beats back the misery.
Great timing.  
Good to see your poetic presence too.

Dear S,

I like to maintain the element of surprise. What can I say? You’ve guilted me into action.
“company beats back the misery.” Gotta say I really dig that thought process.  It’s diverting at the very least and comforting at its very best.  I find that extremely helpful. Thank you for that idea and your timely visit this evening. H🌷

Wow, Honoria! You illustrate so well the conundrum of going deep and honest of staying superficial. With many people we encounter it's a waste to try and go deep. I can imagine so well this encounter...Bravissima❣

Dear GW,

It is a conundrum of the most frustrating sort especially if the people encountered claim friendship but can only go so far with the “real real”. Always have to monitor the situation and that’s exhausting. I’m so happy to see you tonight. Thank you for your lovely thoughts. I’m grateful to you as ever.
H🌷

Hi Honoria,
How's your day going?

This is a gr8t pen from you.
Relatable!

Take care.
X

Dear W,

I’m just “fine” 😉, thank you.
I hope you’re well. Thank you very much for this lovely compliment. I often feel sad when others can relate to what I’ve written. (Not typically cheerful stuff) but I’m very grateful for your visit and kind thoughts. Thank you again. H🌷

"I'm fine" is probably an appropriate response to the level at which the question 'how are you?' was asked.

Dear J,

I totally agree because it’s a civil response in the first place. Plus we aren’t necessarily conditioned to open up and spill all our inner most darkest secrets. It does give pause, on occasion. Thank you so much for this thoughtful exchange. It’s made me think how best to think up a new response 😊
H🌷

I agree with Josh ^  . The question is often asked by people who don't even break stride. To those people, my "fine" means "fuck you, go away". Sometimes to other people, my "fine" means "I don't have the energy to talk about it". To my close friends, I say "I'm doing ok" if I am, or "I've been better" if I'm not. But one of the best things I ever did was tell a friend that I was definitely not fine. It was hard. And so worth it.

You don't need a brave face here - we've got you - but you've brilliantly portrayed both the need for it AND the sinking feeling that goes with it in the real world...
❤️k

Dear K,

I love “To those people, my "fine" means "fuck you, go away".” That is exquisite! It is hard to tell people when things aren’t okay if we’ve been trained to hide in some capacity. And you absolutely nailed the point of the write. It’s the most concise thing with which to respond.
But the floor feels like it’s dropped out from underneath. No easy answer but the warmth and support from your response feels like a warm cozy blanket and so very loving. Thank you. Xo
H🌷

I must admit this one hit me hard Honoria. Recently I just feel like I am falling apart. Everything just seems messed up and I feel like I am letting everyone down. I am so incredibly emotional and I just can't afford to be. And I have even been using this as a crutch and I feel like things are messed up here too. But anyway, I always just say "I'm fine" but I guess I am not fine and everything just hurts. Some people will never get it and some people just don't care, they just use that to their 'advantage'. But people just expect you will say it's fine, they don't want the real answer. It's just a pleasantry. And I don't want to give the real answer anyway so I guess that's okay. Because maybe if you say I'm fine enough you will start to believe it. I am still waiting though.

Dear K,

Regarding your point “Because maybe if you say I'm fine enough you will start to believe it.” I think there is something to the adage “fake it until you make it” but that never gets to the heart of whatever “it” is. I totally understand how you express yourself here. When things feel so dark and the gloom won’t seem to lift. I can assure you one thing, you’re NOT letting me down and that’s a fact. I also understand not wanting to spill your guts to everyone you pass either. Discrimination is a gift when sharing the darker sides of ourselves and being able to trust the other person just knows we need a shoulder for support for a bit. And sometimes hug therapy is the ticket. I think it’s important to recognize emotions and give them the breathing room they need. Squashing them won’t allow for healing. I repeat myself at this point, you are NOT letting me (and I might step out on a limb here) or anyone on this site down. You can take that off your plate. You only have to give a shout for a good old fashion cuss and/or cry session. 😊
You’re much stronger than you give yourself credit. Xx
H🌷

Not sure why I always thought "I'm fine" seems like a facade (depending on the scenario and inflection).
Interesting spill Honoria. Not everything is fine on the surface sometimes.

Dear W,

You are so right. The outside appearance can hide so much of the inside. I think we can often be a robot to our own emotions in order to spare those around us. I really appreciate the insight of your comment. Thank you so much. H🌷

Yes.  You ARE a "writer"!...,a discerning writer, a talented writer--- a writer worth reading by discerning readers.  I wasn't misinformed!  I'm looking forward to reading you!!!
-Bonnie

Dear B,

Thank you very much for your lovely comment. I’m flattered beyond measure. I’ve learned so much from everyone here. It’s been such a great place to exercise the different types of poetry writing and have discussions with others to hone skills and make new friends along the way. I’m so pleased to meet you and thank you once again for your kindness! H🌷

Guess she wasn't that fine but they weren't close buddies enough to tell. A fine story well told in great narrative style. Kudos!

Dear Z,

Difficult conversations are such that even with close friends are never easy. Acquaintances less so.
Thank you for your kind comment. It’s always a pleasure to see you.
H🌷

Dear T,

So happy to see you today! Thank you very much for this wonderful comment. I’m completely chuffed but a bit nervous now I must come up with something else. 😬😊
While sad to know it’s a relatable theme there is an element of comfort as well. Feeling as though I’m the only one that knows the isolation of this is a formidable emotion. Thank you again for this lovely response. H🌷

Dear I,

How extremely thoughtful! Different age groups would respond and think differently based on their age, wisdom and experiences. To feel an outsider without hope of being understood or feeling apart of something with suicide the only solution is an overwhelming thought and you make such a valid point. Thank you for such a thoughtful reply. Now you’ve got me thinking again. H🌷

I have thought quite a lot about this phrase. We often ask “how are you doing “ as more of a greeting than a desire to hear about how people are doing. There is a hesitancy in being honest and maybe wanting honesty.

Dear T,

We do use this as a greeting, so true. I’m not sure when or how it became the thing to do instead of the old standby “hello”?
I agree, there is a hesitancy in being honest with people and wanting honesty. It’s an ever moving fine line. Thank you for your wonderful comment and the honor of RL. I’m so grateful for both. H🌷