deepundergroundpoetry.com
RX For Disaster
"This will be the last time", I say every single day.
That "I'm done with all this bullshit", but things just never change.
I'm not proud of what I'm doing, I know it isn't right.
But try as I may, I can't seem to win the fight.
It's like you wake up in the morning and it's the first thing on your mind.
Is "Where can I get some pills, I really need a line".
When you can barely move and you'd rather stay asleep,
But you can't and you won't because you know you're in too deep.
Even if you have no money you will always find a way.
Just to get your fix any price you'll pay.
Because you can barely function and you know the pain will stay,
if you don't find just what you need to make it go away.
Then you finally find your pill and pull out your spoon and plate,
Your not even done crushing it yet you already feel great.
Just this one last time you think before you sniff it up.
But no sooner than it's up your nose you no longer give a fuck.
Suddenly all your troubles seem a million miles away,
you feel like a new person and everything is great.
Until your buzz wears off and you hate yourself again,
And you wonder if this vicious cycle ever has an end.
But you you know that tomorrow morning the first thing on your mind,
Will be "Where can I find some pills, I really need a line."
And then once again you'll swear that it is the last time,
You see, you really wanna let the drugs go but they're holding on too tight.
That "I'm done with all this bullshit", but things just never change.
I'm not proud of what I'm doing, I know it isn't right.
But try as I may, I can't seem to win the fight.
It's like you wake up in the morning and it's the first thing on your mind.
Is "Where can I get some pills, I really need a line".
When you can barely move and you'd rather stay asleep,
But you can't and you won't because you know you're in too deep.
Even if you have no money you will always find a way.
Just to get your fix any price you'll pay.
Because you can barely function and you know the pain will stay,
if you don't find just what you need to make it go away.
Then you finally find your pill and pull out your spoon and plate,
Your not even done crushing it yet you already feel great.
Just this one last time you think before you sniff it up.
But no sooner than it's up your nose you no longer give a fuck.
Suddenly all your troubles seem a million miles away,
you feel like a new person and everything is great.
Until your buzz wears off and you hate yourself again,
And you wonder if this vicious cycle ever has an end.
But you you know that tomorrow morning the first thing on your mind,
Will be "Where can I find some pills, I really need a line."
And then once again you'll swear that it is the last time,
You see, you really wanna let the drugs go but they're holding on too tight.
Published 29th Jan 2012
| Edited 13th Feb 2012
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 7
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comments 9
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29th Jan 2012 6:35am
I can relate so much to this poem. I know all of the feelings you get with the rush just b4 the high!
29th Jan 2012 9:20pm
31st Jan 2012 2:40am
Anonymous
31st Jan 2012 2:27pm
This is an excellent poem...it describes exactly what EVERY PERSON FEELS like when their LIVES DEPEND ON MEDICATION.....All meds/drugs are addictive....people with DIABETES cannot live without insulin....I know people with chronic pain who CANNOT LIVE a live worth living without resorting to a VARIETY of painkillers...many are NON-OPIATES.....Why the USA locks people up for what the BRAIN DOES in the presence of many - even LEGAL PSYCHOTROPIC DRUGS...is a mystery....
It seems like people without any knowledge of PHARMACOLOGY are making JUDGEMENTS without understanding that REHAB is needed, not jail...
Would they jail a DIABETIC?????
It seems like people without any knowledge of PHARMACOLOGY are making JUDGEMENTS without understanding that REHAB is needed, not jail...
Would they jail a DIABETIC?????
31st Jan 2012 7:26pm
hensleyb420-Yes, I also remeber that all to well. Although there are physical withdrawals so much of it is also in your head. Just knowing I was about to use I would already feel so much better.
heatherb- I am glad you like it and can relate. No one truly understands what addiction is like until they have lived it. I was addicted to opiates and crack cocaine for about for years. I would quit the pills and then switch to crack to deal with the withdrawals, then back to pills to get off the crack. It was a vicious circle. This poem was written in the midst of my addiction when i was about 18 years old. I am now 24 and I am happy to say i have been clean and drug free for two and a half years now.
Jane55- I am glad you also liked it and can relate. I love writing poems that people can relate too, it is so much easier to connect with a reader when they can relate to it. It makes the poem so much more meaningful.
Somelikeithot- Thank you very much i am glad you enjoyed it. Yes, addiction is an illness like any other and rehabilitation is the answer, not punishment. I agree with you 100%. So many people view addicts as the scum of society and criminals (and yes some are) instead of normal people who are sick and need help. Addiction is a disease that affects all walks of life, the rich, the poor, the white, the black, old and young, it does not discriminate.
As far as pharmaceuticals, the pharmaceutical industry is a BILLION dollar industry. These days doctors are so quick to try to treat every ailment with pills. If the first pill doesn't work lets try another. So many people i know have ended up addicted to prescription painkillers and valium because a doctor put them on it when it wasnt really needed and they were eventually dependent on it. Case in point: My fiancee and I were using valium during high school, well one day he decided to try to get some for his doctor so we wouldn't have to buy them on the streets. So we looked up the symptoms of anxiety, he went in and told the doc he had those symptoms and walked out with a prescription for four 1mg clonazapams and 2 paxil daily. That is over 350 pills a month for a perfectly healthy 16 year old young man who has no health conditions. Not tests were run, no second opinion, nothing. That was all it took. This is a scenario that plays itself over and over in doctors offices all across North America. Then they wonder why so many people are hooked to prescription drugs and why it is turning into and epidemic.
heatherb- I am glad you like it and can relate. No one truly understands what addiction is like until they have lived it. I was addicted to opiates and crack cocaine for about for years. I would quit the pills and then switch to crack to deal with the withdrawals, then back to pills to get off the crack. It was a vicious circle. This poem was written in the midst of my addiction when i was about 18 years old. I am now 24 and I am happy to say i have been clean and drug free for two and a half years now.
Jane55- I am glad you also liked it and can relate. I love writing poems that people can relate too, it is so much easier to connect with a reader when they can relate to it. It makes the poem so much more meaningful.
Somelikeithot- Thank you very much i am glad you enjoyed it. Yes, addiction is an illness like any other and rehabilitation is the answer, not punishment. I agree with you 100%. So many people view addicts as the scum of society and criminals (and yes some are) instead of normal people who are sick and need help. Addiction is a disease that affects all walks of life, the rich, the poor, the white, the black, old and young, it does not discriminate.
As far as pharmaceuticals, the pharmaceutical industry is a BILLION dollar industry. These days doctors are so quick to try to treat every ailment with pills. If the first pill doesn't work lets try another. So many people i know have ended up addicted to prescription painkillers and valium because a doctor put them on it when it wasnt really needed and they were eventually dependent on it. Case in point: My fiancee and I were using valium during high school, well one day he decided to try to get some for his doctor so we wouldn't have to buy them on the streets. So we looked up the symptoms of anxiety, he went in and told the doc he had those symptoms and walked out with a prescription for four 1mg clonazapams and 2 paxil daily. That is over 350 pills a month for a perfectly healthy 16 year old young man who has no health conditions. Not tests were run, no second opinion, nothing. That was all it took. This is a scenario that plays itself over and over in doctors offices all across North America. Then they wonder why so many people are hooked to prescription drugs and why it is turning into and epidemic.
4th Feb 2012 5:42am
I can relate to this poem, everything is spot on about how an addict feels! I've wrote a couple poems about addiction too, check them out and let me know what you think :-) But great poem, I really enjoyed it! I love poems I can relate too, great job :-)
6th Mar 2012 9:05pm
I agree with Hensley.... Those feelings are totally relatable, even to one such as myself who thinks they have it under control. Good warning for anyone who is close the the edge.
Anonymous
- Edited 14th Oct 2019 3:45am
14th Mar 2012 2:38am
<< post removed >>
27th Mar 2012 10:30pm
Beauty lives in the little yellow submarines that send the little people...i mean, pellets, down to..up to...um... i love this.
