deepundergroundpoetry.com
in the dark
In the dark
they love your screams, drink your blood.
so keep their laughter, your the one theyre chasing after.
In the dark
your caged inside, left to die.
Theyll take your life, your gone tonight!
Everything you wanted right?
you love the pain, now feel your shame!
one by one they kill you.
You prayed for this, and got your wish.
Dont escape, dont even try, theyll keep you here until you die.
Now your left alone.
Your just a lie.
Your everything theyve always thrived.
Everything you wanted right?
[/font]
they love your screams, drink your blood.
so keep their laughter, your the one theyre chasing after.
In the dark
your caged inside, left to die.
Theyll take your life, your gone tonight!
Everything you wanted right?
you love the pain, now feel your shame!
one by one they kill you.
You prayed for this, and got your wish.
Dont escape, dont even try, theyll keep you here until you die.
Now your left alone.
Your just a lie.
Your everything theyve always thrived.
Everything you wanted right?
[/font]
Published 30th Nov 2009
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Anonymous
9th Jan 2010 1:38am
Good poem. The rhyme scheme flows nicely and the narrative has the right air of mystery about it. However, the grammar's a bit off. When you substitute "your are" for "your", it should be "you're"; minor issue, I know, but they do affect the way the poem sits on the page, and thus it's quality. But, as I said, good poem, well structured rhyme scheme and nicely mysterious narrative.
