A, THE, conversation with God

A, THE, conversation with God

Alright God. I give.
My ass is kicked.
I've gotta get this shit licked.
My son, he said he hates me?
Took my last pill.
But I really needed to just fucking chill.
Okay, lying. Again. Took more than a few.
And my last drink.
But you know, a cocktail helps me think.
Fine God, thats bs. My cocktails now are bottles.
But God, hey, im on my damn knees!
Just fucking help me please!
I want, no, i need to get better.
My life no longer has meaning.
I no longer feel like a human being.
Just the walking dead.
Long time ago, stopped being bout self discovery.
A friend, he talked to me about recovery?
And I'm....I'm,  yes. I am ready to surrender.
Aaahhh.. I just felt such release!
And....I think maybe, was that peace?
Its been so long.
Alright, im ready, I am really, through!
Yours God, just show me what to do.
I! Am no longer dying.

(comp entry "ending of self destruction" about my surrender to addiction, plunging into the 12 steps.)