Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
missjem56
Poem Published
Yesterday 4:24pm
Yesterday 4:24pm
Carrots!
I tried
To0 feed
My rabbit
With a carrot
But in the end
I discovered
That electricity
Was
My rabbits'
Best friend!
by Jemia
To0 feed
My rabbit
With a carrot
But in the end
I discovered
That electricity
Was
My rabbits'
Best friend!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#satirical #sex
#satirical #sex
19 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
Yesterday 7:29am
Yesterday 7:29am
Rew & Prew
I shall dig you up, my Mother,
then lay my body on your bones
and we shall meld with one another
Mother, we shall birth a clone.
My brain's indeed enough for two
your memories are intact
we shall twin again be Rew and Prue
to regain that which we lack.
So lie still Mother, lie easy,
please do not torment me so
although I feel a little queasy
I've not much further to go.
then lay my body on your bones
and we shall meld with one another
Mother, we shall birth a clone.
My brain's indeed enough for two
your memories are intact
we shall twin again be Rew and Prue
to regain that which we lack.
So lie still Mother, lie easy,
please do not torment me so
although I feel a little queasy
I've not much further to go.
#dark
#funny
#rhyming
17 reads
0 Comments
Rew
Poem Published
20th Feb 2025 7:34pm
20th Feb 2025 7:34pm
The last of the Oomegoolie Birds
Though the Oomegoolie bird was well endowed
it made its nest among sharp cacti plants
then caws out oomegoolies very loud,
On return to his nest erect and proud,
to bill and coo to find then squeak, " I can't "
tho' the Oomegoolie bird was well endowed...
So he lived, celibate, not on a cloud
no Ma to confide, no sis, Pa, or aunt
tho' he cawed out oomegoolies very loud,
And no mate to mate that he could've wowed
his world lacked even a sniff of talent ...
it made its nest among sharp cacti plants
then caws out oomegoolies very loud,
On return to his nest erect and proud,
to bill and coo to find then squeak, " I can't "
tho' the Oomegoolie bird was well endowed...
So he lived, celibate, not on a cloud
no Ma to confide, no sis, Pa, or aunt
tho' he cawed out oomegoolies very loud,
And no mate to mate that he could've wowed
his world lacked even a sniff of talent ...
#villanelle
#funny
21 reads
1 Comment
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
20th Feb 2025 4:16pm
20th Feb 2025 4:16pm
The Gov't Needs Your Fluids(Collab with Vision_of_insanity)
You come over and I'll feed you.
Then rape you and tattoo my name on you.
Insert a tracking device and chain you to me.
Register you in the government's cattle tracking system.
Use you for stud services and make lots of money off your sperm donations.
And when you're old, I'll sell all your internal organs for profit.
Scatter your ashes in my garden as fertilizer!
You the consumer are enjoying the taste of cannibalistic delight!
Then rape you and tattoo my name on you.
Insert a tracking device and chain you to me.
Register you in the government's cattle tracking system.
Use you for stud services and make lots of money off your sperm donations.
And when you're old, I'll sell all your internal organs for profit.
Scatter your ashes in my garden as fertilizer!
You the consumer are enjoying the taste of cannibalistic delight!
#funny
#corruption
#greed
#FeelingTrapped
#sacrifice
48 reads
7 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
18th Feb 2025 9:03pm
18th Feb 2025 9:03pm
Attention
When women give me looks,
And come in bitchy at me for no reason,
I laugh.
Because all the guys watch me.
And give me attention.
And enjoy how I don't give a shit,
What other women think.
So I shake my titties,
And put on a show.
Because I actually have titties,
Unlike some people.
Ha!
And come in bitchy at me for no reason,
I laugh.
Because all the guys watch me.
And give me attention.
And enjoy how I don't give a shit,
What other women think.
So I shake my titties,
And put on a show.
Because I actually have titties,
Unlike some people.
Ha!
#funny
72 reads
12 Comments
The_Nun_Runner
Poem Published
17th Feb 2025 8:44pm
17th Feb 2025 8:44pm
Oh, Ms. Na-Pus 2025
Breaking the stride of a Red Bird crater face
Cockeyed, looking as if you suddenly went in your Depend Diaper, you are now smelling up the place
Messy, now you have to slide your soiled reminder down, yes, that is your evidence, damn, that is never within grace
For your porcelain throne you sit with a smelly taste
Get it out old Crow you will feel so much better in the end
Oh... The Life Of An Old Crow On Depends
Cockeyed, looking as if you suddenly went in your Depend Diaper, you are now smelling up the place
Messy, now you have to slide your soiled reminder down, yes, that is your evidence, damn, that is never within grace
For your porcelain throne you sit with a smelly taste
Get it out old Crow you will feel so much better in the end
Oh... The Life Of An Old Crow On Depends
#funny
77 reads
PAR
Poem Published
17th Feb 2025 2:10pm
17th Feb 2025 2:10pm
Balls
Balls bounce high and low.
Joyful laughter fills the air
of games we love and know.
Rubber spheres in flight.
Echoes of a child's delight.
Sunshine warms the sight.
Park's a playground bright.
Kicking, tossing, in full light,
energy's pure might.
Day turns into dusk.
Bouncing slows yet spirits bask
in the joy of play.
Joyful laughter fills the air
of games we love and know.
Rubber spheres in flight.
Echoes of a child's delight.
Sunshine warms the sight.
Park's a playground bright.
Kicking, tossing, in full light,
energy's pure might.
Day turns into dusk.
Bouncing slows yet spirits bask
in the joy of play.
#freedom
#funny
#happiness
52 reads
10 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Feb 2025 1:18am
17th Feb 2025 1:18am
The Pond Life MafIa
Ive always wondered
How anyone, or thing
Could be
"Pissed as a newt!"
Does this suggest
As i may digress
That newts
Have an alcohol problem?
Presumably reknowned
For getting inebriated!
Although "pissed" in other countries
Refers to being angry
Which is more disconcerting
As i now live in fear
Of gangs of angry intoxicated newts
Wandering the streets
Both pissed off, and pissed
Like pondlife mafia!
by Jemia
How anyone, or thing
Could be
"Pissed as a newt!"
Does this suggest
As i may digress
That newts
Have an alcohol problem?
Presumably reknowned
For getting inebriated!
Although "pissed" in other countries
Refers to being angry
Which is more disconcerting
As i now live in fear
Of gangs of angry intoxicated newts
Wandering the streets
Both pissed off, and pissed
Like pondlife mafia!
by Jemia
#alcohol
#anger
#funny
#nature
#satirical
43 reads
0 Comments
Pete_25
Poem Published
15th Feb 2025 8:07am
15th Feb 2025 8:07am
Mr Buzz... To Infinity & Beyond!
Up, down, slip and slide
Wiggle hips, side to side
Come, come, feel the need
Fast, slow, choose your speed
Snug in bag, a handy size
Your lady bits, I'll baptise
Wash me down, your favourite toy
Mr. Buzz... Orgasmic joy!
(Performed by Betty Wetty & The Drips)
He's giving me good vibrations
Toy's giving me sexitations
He's giving me good vibrations
Toy's giving me sexitations...
Wiggle hips, side to side
Come, come, feel the need
Fast, slow, choose your speed
Snug in bag, a handy size
Your lady bits, I'll baptise
Wash me down, your favourite toy
Mr. Buzz... Orgasmic joy!
(Performed by Betty Wetty & The Drips)
He's giving me good vibrations
Toy's giving me sexitations
He's giving me good vibrations
Toy's giving me sexitations...
#funny
#orgasm
150 reads
17 Comments
James_A_Knight
Poem Published
14th Feb 2025 9:41pm
14th Feb 2025 9:41pm
Two Love Peoms, for the price of one, Bargain
1.
I don’t know what love is
All I know is
Love is inescapable
Like a fart in a lift
And if you and your partner
Are comfortable enough
To fart in each other’s company
You may be in love
Or as close as you can be to love
2.
In the darkness of space,
The piano plays:
Liszt, Love Dream
Soft and sweetly
Taking my soul across to her
I am on another planet
Light years away
Will see her again?
The piano rings out into the stars
Fades away to silence
Leaving quiet thoughts of loss...
I don’t know what love is
All I know is
Love is inescapable
Like a fart in a lift
And if you and your partner
Are comfortable enough
To fart in each other’s company
You may be in love
Or as close as you can be to love
2.
In the darkness of space,
The piano plays:
Liszt, Love Dream
Soft and sweetly
Taking my soul across to her
I am on another planet
Light years away
Will see her again?
The piano rings out into the stars
Fades away to silence
Leaving quiet thoughts of loss...
#funny
#love
52 reads
0 Comments
Indie
Miss Indie
Miss Indie
Poem Published
14th Feb 2025 5:37am
14th Feb 2025 5:37am
just another day (Feb 14)
I spent the day making paper lanterns
and chasing my 4 year old around
pretending they were jellyfish
the sound of his laughter
in the list of top 10 things
I've ever heard
We made an overbaked strawberry cake
for Valentine's Day
drew a jam heart in the centre
before we put it in the oven
it came out looking like a murder scene
so I added maserated strawberries
to try and improve upon it
and perhaps I did
because it now looks like
mushy disemboweled organs
are crawling out of the murder heart ...
and chasing my 4 year old around
pretending they were jellyfish
the sound of his laughter
in the list of top 10 things
I've ever heard
We made an overbaked strawberry cake
for Valentine's Day
drew a jam heart in the centre
before we put it in the oven
it came out looking like a murder scene
so I added maserated strawberries
to try and improve upon it
and perhaps I did
because it now looks like
mushy disemboweled organs
are crawling out of the murder heart ...
#childhood
#children
#family
#funny
#love
78 reads
12 Comments
ObliviousRay
Poem Published
14th Feb 2025 4:12am
14th Feb 2025 4:12am
Royal Blue
#funny
#seductive
#SelfReflection
32 reads
0 Comments
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