Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
Rew
Poem Published
20th Feb 2025 7:34pm
20th Feb 2025 7:34pm
The last of the Oomegoolie Birds
Though the Oomegoolie bird was well endowed
it made its nest among sharp cacti plants
then caws out oomegoolies very loud,
On return to his nest erect and proud,
to bill and coo to find then squeak, " I can't "
tho' the Oomegoolie bird was well endowed...
So he lived, celibate, not on a cloud
no Ma to confide, no sis, Pa, or aunt
tho' he cawed out oomegoolies very loud,
And no mate to mate that he could've wowed
his world lacked even a sniff of talent ...
it made its nest among sharp cacti plants
then caws out oomegoolies very loud,
On return to his nest erect and proud,
to bill and coo to find then squeak, " I can't "
tho' the Oomegoolie bird was well endowed...
So he lived, celibate, not on a cloud
no Ma to confide, no sis, Pa, or aunt
tho' he cawed out oomegoolies very loud,
And no mate to mate that he could've wowed
his world lacked even a sniff of talent ...
#villanelle
#funny
40 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Mar 2025 1:27am
4th Mar 2025 1:27am
Alienated!
I was abducted by aliens last night!!!!
They told me
They had come
To suck out my brains!
After much jabbering
Amongst themselves
And a few,
Seemingly harmless experiments
Where i presume
They were testing my brain output etc
They suddenly returned to Earth
Let me leave their spaceship aka ufo
Without saying a word?
So i asked
"I thought you were going to suck out my brains!"
"Yes earthling, we were
But decided on this occasion
It wasn't worth it.........
by Jemia
They told me
They had come
To suck out my brains!
After much jabbering
Amongst themselves
And a few,
Seemingly harmless experiments
Where i presume
They were testing my brain output etc
They suddenly returned to Earth
Let me leave their spaceship aka ufo
Without saying a word?
So i asked
"I thought you were going to suck out my brains!"
"Yes earthling, we were
But decided on this occasion
It wasn't worth it.........
by Jemia
#aliens
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
40 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Mar 2025 2:00am
4th Mar 2025 2:00am
A Letter From An Elf
"How come
You write about
Fairies, pixies, witches
Dragons, mermaids etc.?"
".What is wrong
With us elves?"
"Are you elfist?"
Signed
Alf the elf...
"Dear ELF, named Alf"
"I'm so sorry you feel
LEFt on the shELF
I blame it on mysELF
Due to poor ELF
And little wELF!
I will endeavour
In future
To be less sELFish
And more ELFish!"
by Jemia
You write about
Fairies, pixies, witches
Dragons, mermaids etc.?"
".What is wrong
With us elves?"
"Are you elfist?"
Signed
Alf the elf...
"Dear ELF, named Alf"
"I'm so sorry you feel
LEFt on the shELF
I blame it on mysELF
Due to poor ELF
And little wELF!
I will endeavour
In future
To be less sELFish
And more ELFish!"
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #surreal
#parody #surreal
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
Am Bi?
Ambivert
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #satirical
#parody #satirical
42 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Miss A Little!
Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
42 reads
0 Comments
ObliviousRay
Poem Published
14th Feb 2025 4:12am
14th Feb 2025 4:12am
Royal Blue
#funny
#seductive
#SelfReflection
42 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
13th Feb 2025 00:29am
13th Feb 2025 00:29am
It's Funny
It's funny
I have cider, and red wine
Both collecting dust
But whenever i have mead in the house
Drink it i Must!
It's funny
I don't like honey
In drinks, or on toast
I love it in a pewter goblet
Or a glass at most
It's funny
That i love smoking weed
When drinking mead
That they happen to rhyme
Is a little sublime
It's funny
I imagine a dinosaur
Would find me quite a delight
Full basted in herbs, and honey
I'm sure i'd make a delicious bite!
It's funny
You see ...
I have cider, and red wine
Both collecting dust
But whenever i have mead in the house
Drink it i Must!
It's funny
I don't like honey
In drinks, or on toast
I love it in a pewter goblet
Or a glass at most
It's funny
That i love smoking weed
When drinking mead
That they happen to rhyme
Is a little sublime
It's funny
I imagine a dinosaur
Would find me quite a delight
Full basted in herbs, and honey
I'm sure i'd make a delicious bite!
It's funny
You see ...
#alcohol
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#marijuana
#satirical
43 reads
0 Comments
PittinixDesigns
Poem Published
5th Mar 2025 5:01pm
5th Mar 2025 5:01pm
Mass Earnis Ah Mass Ruben
(Patois)
Mass Earnis ave wah son niem Den Den, ah Mass Ruben ave wah son niem Jakes. Di two bwoy dem did a pliay wang giem dung di ruod, an Den Den gi Jakes a rass lick wid a pisa tik. Wen Jakes guh uom, eeh tell eeh puppa seh Den Den lick im inna eeh fies wid wan tik.
Mass Ruben seh, “Kom mi bwoy, mia goh mek yuh lick back Den Den widdi tik.” Wen Mass Ruben an im son reech a Mass Earnis yawd, dem si Den Den sidung pah wah big stuon. Mass Ruben seh tu im seh, “Den Den, weh mek yuh lick Jakes inna eeh fies widdi tik?” Den Den seh, “Mi neva mein fi lick im. A...
Mass Earnis ave wah son niem Den Den, ah Mass Ruben ave wah son niem Jakes. Di two bwoy dem did a pliay wang giem dung di ruod, an Den Den gi Jakes a rass lick wid a pisa tik. Wen Jakes guh uom, eeh tell eeh puppa seh Den Den lick im inna eeh fies wid wan tik.
Mass Ruben seh, “Kom mi bwoy, mia goh mek yuh lick back Den Den widdi tik.” Wen Mass Ruben an im son reech a Mass Earnis yawd, dem si Den Den sidung pah wah big stuon. Mass Ruben seh tu im seh, “Den Den, weh mek yuh lick Jakes inna eeh fies widdi tik?” Den Den seh, “Mi neva mein fi lick im. A...
#children
#curse
#father
#funny
#home
43 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
Windy Hollow!
More
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
44 reads
0 Comments
Shon
Poem Published
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
Your a poet.
Your
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#uplifting
45 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
Going Batty
There's an antique bat
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
45 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Cheeky!
I don't like bums!
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#PowerOfWords
#satirical
45 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
