Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
August 31st 2019 (Big Camp)
Five days after performing at Hastings Pride
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
#funny
#happiness
#holiday
#LifeAsAWriter
#music
35 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
Pats On The Back!
Discovered
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
35 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Miss A Little!
Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
36 reads
0 Comments
James_A_Knight
Poem Published
14th Feb 2025 9:41pm
14th Feb 2025 9:41pm
Two Love Peoms, for the price of one, Bargain
1.
I don’t know what love is
All I know is
Love is inescapable
Like a fart in a lift
And if you and your partner
Are comfortable enough
To fart in each other’s company
You may be in love
Or as close as you can be to love
2.
In the darkness of space,
The piano plays:
Liszt, Love Dream
Soft and sweetly
Taking my soul across to her
I am on another planet
Light years away
Will see her again?
The piano rings out into the stars
Fades away to silence
Leaving quiet thoughts of loss...
I don’t know what love is
All I know is
Love is inescapable
Like a fart in a lift
And if you and your partner
Are comfortable enough
To fart in each other’s company
You may be in love
Or as close as you can be to love
2.
In the darkness of space,
The piano plays:
Liszt, Love Dream
Soft and sweetly
Taking my soul across to her
I am on another planet
Light years away
Will see her again?
The piano rings out into the stars
Fades away to silence
Leaving quiet thoughts of loss...
#funny
#love
37 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Dec 2024 3:57am
26th Dec 2024 3:57am
Hot Pants!
When
i
was
thirteen
I
tried
to
smoke
underwear!
To
much
knickerteen!
by Jemia
i
was
thirteen
I
tried
to
smoke
underwear!
To
much
knickerteen!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
38 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
Going Batty
There's an antique bat
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
38 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
As Quiet As A Mouse! (acrostic 5-7-5)
Cat
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
Windy Hollow!
More
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Feb 2025 3:03pm
3rd Feb 2025 3:03pm
Lady Godiva Composed
On the radio
this morning
They spoke of
a composer
Who'd composed.
a piece of work
For a tenor
"Blimey!"
thought i
"They should of
come to me
I would of done it
for a fiver!"
(feeling composed....)
by Jemia
this morning
They spoke of
a composer
Who'd composed.
a piece of work
For a tenor
"Blimey!"
thought i
"They should of
come to me
I would of done it
for a fiver!"
(feeling composed....)
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#music #PowerOfWords
#music #PowerOfWords
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Feb 2025 2:12pm
2nd Feb 2025 2:12pm
Recipricate?
Chop sticks
Are okay as back scratchers
Not as good as rubbing up against a tree
Like a bear!
But i'm seeking alternative means
For scratching my back
So ive joined a dating site
Where-in i state
"If you scratch my back......!"
Ive received one response so far
"So if you have pets, it may be fleas!"
by Jemia
Are okay as back scratchers
Not as good as rubbing up against a tree
Like a bear!
But i'm seeking alternative means
For scratching my back
So ive joined a dating site
Where-in i state
"If you scratch my back......!"
Ive received one response so far
"So if you have pets, it may be fleas!"
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeStruggles
41 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Feb 2025 3:35pm
10th Feb 2025 3:35pm
Keeping Up To Scratch
In the last week
Ive searched high, and low,
And tried to tweak
To finding a back scratcher
But as yet, haven't managed to capture
Anyone
With long enough nails
That's willing to do it for fun
With perhaps, the occasional pun
So making do
With chop sticks
And door frames too!
by Jemia
Ive searched high, and low,
And tried to tweak
To finding a back scratcher
But as yet, haven't managed to capture
Anyone
With long enough nails
That's willing to do it for fun
With perhaps, the occasional pun
So making do
With chop sticks
And door frames too!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #satirical
#philosophical #satirical
41 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Cheeky!
I don't like bums!
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#PowerOfWords
#satirical
42 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
