Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Feb 2025 3:03pm
3rd Feb 2025 3:03pm
Lady Godiva Composed
On the radio
this morning
They spoke of
a composer
Who'd composed.
a piece of work
For a tenor
"Blimey!"
thought i
"They should of
come to me
I would of done it
for a fiver!"
(feeling composed....)
by Jemia
this morning
They spoke of
a composer
Who'd composed.
a piece of work
For a tenor
"Blimey!"
thought i
"They should of
come to me
I would of done it
for a fiver!"
(feeling composed....)
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#music #PowerOfWords
#music #PowerOfWords
35 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Feb 2025 4:33pm
4th Feb 2025 4:33pm
Troth!
"I promise to tell the truth
The whole truth
And nothing but the truth
So help me god!"
So how does this work?
If you don't have any god
Does that therefore
Leave the assumption
That you may not be telling the truth?
So if i tell the truth
Without the validation
Of having a god behind it
Am i therefore likely to be lying?
We encourage our children
To always speak the truth
And to be honest
"MUM! why's that man only got one leg!!!!2
So now, you have to teach your child
Diplomacy, and tact ...
The whole truth
And nothing but the truth
So help me god!"
So how does this work?
If you don't have any god
Does that therefore
Leave the assumption
That you may not be telling the truth?
So if i tell the truth
Without the validation
Of having a god behind it
Am i therefore likely to be lying?
We encourage our children
To always speak the truth
And to be honest
"MUM! why's that man only got one leg!!!!2
So now, you have to teach your child
Diplomacy, and tact ...
#funny
#honesty
#philosophical
#satirical
#TruthOfLife
35 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Dec 2024 3:57am
26th Dec 2024 3:57am
Hot Pants!
When
i
was
thirteen
I
tried
to
smoke
underwear!
To
much
knickerteen!
by Jemia
i
was
thirteen
I
tried
to
smoke
underwear!
To
much
knickerteen!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
36 reads
0 Comments
Pete_25
Poem Published
Today 8:10am
Today 8:10am
Mess
This house is a bleedin' mess
There's dust everywhere
You really need to address
You are an idle mare
The carpet needs a hoover
The table needs a wipe
You really need to manoeuvre
If you want an easy life
There's food on the hob
It needs a damn good cleaning
You're such a lazy slob
I want to see it gleaming
Stop moaning about your back
Complaining about your knees
I'll only cut some slack
As you're nearly eighty-three!
There's dust everywhere
You really need to address
You are an idle mare
The carpet needs a hoover
The table needs a wipe
You really need to manoeuvre
If you want an easy life
There's food on the hob
It needs a damn good cleaning
You're such a lazy slob
I want to see it gleaming
Stop moaning about your back
Complaining about your knees
I'll only cut some slack
As you're nearly eighty-three!
#funny
36 reads
5 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
30th Jan 2025 12:22pm
30th Jan 2025 12:22pm
Not Quite A Hamadryad
Last Christmas
I considered
Wearing a small christmas tree
On my head!
So i could declare
"Look!"
"The christmas tree
Is on top of the fairy
This year!"
But didn't!
by Jemia
I considered
Wearing a small christmas tree
On my head!
So i could declare
"Look!"
"The christmas tree
Is on top of the fairy
This year!"
But didn't!
by Jemia
#Christmas
#fairies
#funny #satirical
#funny #satirical
37 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
As Quiet As A Mouse! (acrostic 5-7-5)
Cat
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
39 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
20th Jan 2025 12:49pm
Windy Hollow!
More
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
holes
than
Swiss
cheese
Knickers
holier
than
thou
Well
air
conditioned!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
39 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
8th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Cheeky!
I don't like bums!
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
They kind of put me off
Small, medium, or large
It doesn't matter
Bum, arse, bottom
Shakespeare chose Bottom, over Bum!
Neither names offer any inspiration poetically
Thankfully, the French do bums with poetic finesse
Derriere!
Which sounds much more civilised than other options
Whereas, backside doesn't make sense
Backside: 'on the back, but to the side?
Which would require, a completely new rethink
On the design of toilets!
Also, keeping things on this nonsensical level
How come when toasting...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#PowerOfWords
#satirical
40 reads
0 Comments
Pishashee
Poem Published
Today 3:17am
Today 3:17am
Periodic Table of Arguments
Oxygen, a fiery little redhead with a southern drawl, tapped her foot impatiently.
"Hydro, honey, you're fixin' to make a fool out of yourself. Carbon is obviously gonna choose me. We make water together, darlin'. Everybody needs water. It's the lifeblood of everything!"
Hydrogen, Oxygen's nervous little sister with a squeaky voice, wrung her hands.
"You're so bossy!" Whispering loudly. "So grabby! You hog all the electrons! I offer Carbon a nice, even share. Think of all the cool stuff we can build together – hydrocarbons, the...
"Hydro, honey, you're fixin' to make a fool out of yourself. Carbon is obviously gonna choose me. We make water together, darlin'. Everybody needs water. It's the lifeblood of everything!"
Hydrogen, Oxygen's nervous little sister with a squeaky voice, wrung her hands.
"You're so bossy!" Whispering loudly. "So grabby! You hog all the electrons! I offer Carbon a nice, even share. Think of all the cool stuff we can build together – hydrocarbons, the...
#earth
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#nature
#universe
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Sep 2024 11:03pm
17th Sep 2024 11:03pm
A Dyers Diary Of His Dire Rear!
A Dyers Diary Of His Dire Rear!
And the dyers ear
In a dire diary
Things got pretty dire for the dyer
Because of his dire rear
But nothing he heard
Because of his dyers dire ear!
by Jemia
And the dyers ear
In a dire diary
Things got pretty dire for the dyer
Because of his dire rear
But nothing he heard
Because of his dyers dire ear!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeStruggles
#satirical
42 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Nov 2024 1:42pm
26th Nov 2024 1:42pm
Horseplay
just checked the heel of one of my boots,
and noticed it had come a bit loose,
so grabbed a small hammer,
lifted my foot up
as couldn't be bothered
to take my shoe off,
and started to hammer it back into place.
the strange thing here was
that i had a strange inclination
to neigh! 😏🙃😂
and noticed it had come a bit loose,
so grabbed a small hammer,
lifted my foot up
as couldn't be bothered
to take my shoe off,
and started to hammer it back into place.
the strange thing here was
that i had a strange inclination
to neigh! 😏🙃😂
#funny
#horses
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
42 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
11th Dec 2024 9:01pm
11th Dec 2024 9:01pm
Jean Genie
I
once
discovered
Levi's
growing
in
a
pond!
A
jeanetic
pool?
by Jemia
once
discovered
Levi's
growing
in
a
pond!
A
jeanetic
pool?
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical
43 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
