Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
Cyndi_Moone
Poem Published
8th Sep 2017 5:40pm
8th Sep 2017 5:40pm
VOTO DE BODA
Estoy en carro prestado
Porque el tren ya me habia dejado
Muchos fueron los años
Que solo encontraba engaños
Hasta que un galán secuestro mi corazón
Y para casarme, me ha dado buena razón.
Pasaré los dias junto a él
Y por siempre le sere muy fiel.
En los tiempos Buenos y los tiempos malos
Depende si le hago la comida o se mete en chaos.
Doesn't "ring" well in English and, therefore, the humor is lost....but this is the translation:
I am in a borrowed car
Because the train had already passed me by
Many...
Porque el tren ya me habia dejado
Muchos fueron los años
Que solo encontraba engaños
Hasta que un galán secuestro mi corazón
Y para casarme, me ha dado buena razón.
Pasaré los dias junto a él
Y por siempre le sere muy fiel.
En los tiempos Buenos y los tiempos malos
Depende si le hago la comida o se mete en chaos.
Doesn't "ring" well in English and, therefore, the humor is lost....but this is the translation:
I am in a borrowed car
Because the train had already passed me by
Many...
#relationships
#parody
#satirical
#funny
#metaphor
12 reads
4 Comments
Thor_Azine
Poem Published
28th Aug 2024 7:13pm
28th Aug 2024 7:13pm
Contract Killer
I’m covered in blood
I suppose it was a slight angular
miscalculation as I was aiming
solely for the subclavicular artery
but somehow it’s bleeding into
the esophagus and coughing blood
in my face
It was a mistake, they happen
usually not to me, but then here we are
fortunately for me I keep a spare Tyvek
suit in the truck, safe until
the shower
I used to be much cleaner, long range,
pink mist voila, but the world changes
and fewer out here care to get wet
so I fill the gap, I mean it’s a living ...
I suppose it was a slight angular
miscalculation as I was aiming
solely for the subclavicular artery
but somehow it’s bleeding into
the esophagus and coughing blood
in my face
It was a mistake, they happen
usually not to me, but then here we are
fortunately for me I keep a spare Tyvek
suit in the truck, safe until
the shower
I used to be much cleaner, long range,
pink mist voila, but the world changes
and fewer out here care to get wet
so I fill the gap, I mean it’s a living ...
#dark
#funny
#parody
15 reads
12 Comments
yelluw_always
Poem Published
3rd Feb 2019 5:14am
3rd Feb 2019 5:14am
8. Annotated Peoples Make Connections: if they walked around in love/for love/by love with SFX labels to their chests
My feet feel gravity un-gilled. They shuffle
how an airplane lands at night. The towers
hiccuping bubbles like they just had a habanero
telling us which way is up and which way
to burn in inkwater. Here a padded slope
with the headlights of trench fish, bifarious
and lighting the turning down, down, down.
Rows a hushed sway of seaweed heads.
How to show the fish a mirror since they live in one?
Cameron, you couldn’t have imagined the abyss better.
Cut lights, action in seats. We don’t
need a crowd, just the silver screen and the...
how an airplane lands at night. The towers
hiccuping bubbles like they just had a habanero
telling us which way is up and which way
to burn in inkwater. Here a padded slope
with the headlights of trench fish, bifarious
and lighting the turning down, down, down.
Rows a hushed sway of seaweed heads.
How to show the fish a mirror since they live in one?
Cameron, you couldn’t have imagined the abyss better.
Cut lights, action in seats. We don’t
need a crowd, just the silver screen and the...
#dark
#funny
#monsters #dating
#monsters #dating
16 reads
2 Comments
Thor_Azine
Poem Published
10th May 2024 7:18pm
10th May 2024 7:18pm
Nothing Bugs Me
I climbed on the Hollywood sign
and swung from a vine
stripped on the sunset and
drank some box wine
It’s fine
I wasn’t meant to live long
cock strong King Kong acting like a
ding dong
Just like a fly
I’m always landing on shit
I must admit though, I give as
good as I get
Please quit
buzzing like a mosquito
I’m strong as a flea bench pressing
a Frito
Sub zero
I was never your hero
Stone cold motherfucker like
Bobby De Niro
get me a beer yo! before I
spit in your face, just...
and swung from a vine
stripped on the sunset and
drank some box wine
It’s fine
I wasn’t meant to live long
cock strong King Kong acting like a
ding dong
Just like a fly
I’m always landing on shit
I must admit though, I give as
good as I get
Please quit
buzzing like a mosquito
I’m strong as a flea bench pressing
a Frito
Sub zero
I was never your hero
Stone cold motherfucker like
Bobby De Niro
get me a beer yo! before I
spit in your face, just...
#funny
16 reads
8 Comments
hackerstacker
Poem Published
21st Nov 2018 6:56pm
21st Nov 2018 6:56pm
What we see in mirrors
#anxiety
#scary
#funny
17 reads
6 Comments
Cyndi_Moone
Poem Published
6th Nov 2017 6:20pm
6th Nov 2017 6:20pm
DRAMA QUEEN
I have come to the conclusion that everyone craves a little drama in their life-
It is what keeps life from being a forever-standing monotonous timeline.
There are just some people completely bored out of their minds
Living that pathetic, monotonous timeline
that the only thing they CAN do is create or find their drama
By being angry just to be angry!
When such a person begins to stir up trouble against you
Or whirl their rants and raves your way
Just turn and walk away....
It is the silent way, without use of words or...
It is what keeps life from being a forever-standing monotonous timeline.
There are just some people completely bored out of their minds
Living that pathetic, monotonous timeline
that the only thing they CAN do is create or find their drama
By being angry just to be angry!
When such a person begins to stir up trouble against you
Or whirl their rants and raves your way
Just turn and walk away....
It is the silent way, without use of words or...
#depression
#funny
#addiction #philosophical
#addiction #philosophical
18 reads
2 Comments
Thor_Azine
Poem Published
23rd May 2024 9:35pm
23rd May 2024 9:35pm
No Words
Desire
how do words
encompass or engage
those thoughts…
Pure lust over reason
That “I’m going to eat your ass
like a homeless guy that
dumpster dived a hot
Christmas turkey” feeling
The taste taint no mystery
anymore
I’m sure something will
cum to me
Or maybe not
But I’ll slam every goddamn
spot from A to G until
I figure it out
Nice guys finish last
it’s cool
as long as we finish
It’s a marathon not a race
Hmm…
how do words
encompass or engage
those thoughts…
Pure lust over reason
That “I’m going to eat your ass
like a homeless guy that
dumpster dived a hot
Christmas turkey” feeling
The taste taint no mystery
anymore
I’m sure something will
cum to me
Or maybe not
But I’ll slam every goddamn
spot from A to G until
I figure it out
Nice guys finish last
it’s cool
as long as we finish
It’s a marathon not a race
Hmm…
#funny
#sex
#ThrillSeeking
19 reads
8 Comments
backdeckbenny
Poem Published
14th Dec 2024 6:42am
14th Dec 2024 6:42am
Grey Matter
I'm sure we'd all agree that the brain is an amazing organ.
It works 24/7 , 365 days of the year, from the moment men are born until the moment they get their first erection.
Try and deny it fellas.
It works 24/7 , 365 days of the year, from the moment men are born until the moment they get their first erection.
Try and deny it fellas.
#funny
19 reads
1 Comment
Poetic_Strength
Poem Published
30th Jan 2020 1:01am
30th Jan 2020 1:01am
Writers Block - Movie Time
Speechless and express-less,
Wished for verses to popup like popcorn,
But seemed as my butter froze.
Desire to gaze at ’ Two can play that game too”
But settled for “ How to lose a man in ten days”
Tell me how to “Space jam”
I want to “Pursuit my happiness”
Meanwhile I think I encountered an “Identity theft”
was “ gone in 60 seconds”
My “National treasure” was put on hold,
If I knew I would have dressed like Hally Berry my beloved “ Catwoman”
Nah wait I think seducing “ Batman” or “ Superman please re turn
For that I better call...
Wished for verses to popup like popcorn,
But seemed as my butter froze.
Desire to gaze at ’ Two can play that game too”
But settled for “ How to lose a man in ten days”
Tell me how to “Space jam”
I want to “Pursuit my happiness”
Meanwhile I think I encountered an “Identity theft”
was “ gone in 60 seconds”
My “National treasure” was put on hold,
If I knew I would have dressed like Hally Berry my beloved “ Catwoman”
Nah wait I think seducing “ Batman” or “ Superman please re turn
For that I better call...
#funny
#WritersBlock
#WritingPoetry #scifi
#WritingPoetry #scifi
20 reads
8 Comments
MalcolmG
Poem Published
15th Dec 2024 8:55am
15th Dec 2024 8:55am
Welcome to Hell ...
Welcome, dear soul, to the fiery embrace,
Where pleasure and sin find their rightful place.
Forget what you’ve heard, the lies they’ve spread
Hell’s not torment; it’s where life’s truly led.
Lust and desire aren’t vices to shame,
They’re art forms perfected in passion’s flame.
A dance of bodies, a feast of the flesh,
In Hell, these pleasures are always fresh.
Heaven may promise a cloud and a harp,
But its paradise is tepid, stale, and sharp.
No touch, no taste, no thrill of the chase
Just hymns on repeat in a sterile space. ...
Where pleasure and sin find their rightful place.
Forget what you’ve heard, the lies they’ve spread
Hell’s not torment; it’s where life’s truly led.
Lust and desire aren’t vices to shame,
They’re art forms perfected in passion’s flame.
A dance of bodies, a feast of the flesh,
In Hell, these pleasures are always fresh.
Heaven may promise a cloud and a harp,
But its paradise is tepid, stale, and sharp.
No touch, no taste, no thrill of the chase
Just hymns on repeat in a sterile space. ...
#devil
#funny
#heaven
#hell
#religion
22 reads
0 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
4th Jul 2024 1:20am
4th Jul 2024 1:20am
Bedtime Capers
He gallivants into my room.
His face is a sight for sore eyes.
We kiss in an adulterated fashion
and my passion for him burns deep.
He rigamaroles words for foreplay,
but without delay he is in my mouth.
My mother hears all the brouhaha,
and she kicks the door down in fear.
Flummoxed, she beats him with the broom block
meanwhile, his cock is flying about.
She calls him a hoodwink,
but she does not know I have a kink.
Meanwhile, he desperately tries to pull
his britches up and cries for mercy.
He literally jumps out of...
His face is a sight for sore eyes.
We kiss in an adulterated fashion
and my passion for him burns deep.
He rigamaroles words for foreplay,
but without delay he is in my mouth.
My mother hears all the brouhaha,
and she kicks the door down in fear.
Flummoxed, she beats him with the broom block
meanwhile, his cock is flying about.
She calls him a hoodwink,
but she does not know I have a kink.
Meanwhile, he desperately tries to pull
his britches up and cries for mercy.
He literally jumps out of...
#funny
#WritingPoetry
26 reads
9 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
18th Dec 2024 2:45am
18th Dec 2024 2:45am
Time For The Goblet Of Honey
There's a toilet roll
By my shoulder
Tis true
But not there
For the loo
But a random aitchoo
It's currently looped
Over the stem
Of a bottle
Of balsamic vinegar
Which is half sticking
Out of a drawer
Of a bookcase
With no books
After this write
And read
You too
May fancy mead!
by Jemia
By my shoulder
Tis true
But not there
For the loo
But a random aitchoo
It's currently looped
Over the stem
Of a bottle
Of balsamic vinegar
Which is half sticking
Out of a drawer
Of a bookcase
With no books
After this write
And read
You too
May fancy mead!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical
#satirical
#surreal
26 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
