Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
My Pest Problems
I ain't got no lucci
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
#frustration
#funny
31 reads
26 Comments
goldenmyst
Poem Published
10th Mar 2025 10:18pm
10th Mar 2025 10:18pm
Mirror Tango Twists of Kitty & Fang the Clown
Mirror Tango Twists of Kitty & Fang the Clown
(Concept by Dan Stafford
& Dialogue by John Hindle)
Kitty and Joke live in an alternate universe on the other side of a set of fun house mirrors in a creepy carnival.
Kitty tells Joke, “Hey this place is creepy, like the fun house mirrors at the amusement park I went too as a kid. The reflections in the looking glasses look like my multiple personalities.”
“Who are those other ladies in your psyche?”
“Let me introduce...
(Concept by Dan Stafford
& Dialogue by John Hindle)
Kitty and Joke live in an alternate universe on the other side of a set of fun house mirrors in a creepy carnival.
Kitty tells Joke, “Hey this place is creepy, like the fun house mirrors at the amusement park I went too as a kid. The reflections in the looking glasses look like my multiple personalities.”
“Who are those other ladies in your psyche?”
“Let me introduce...
#dance
#funny
#gothic
#romantic
#seductive
32 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st Mar 2025 1:46am
1st Mar 2025 1:46am
Mirrors
I went along to join a new group recently
I may of misread the details though
What i thought was a writing group of sorts
As about a dozen of us turned up
Some looked a bit long in the tooth
And a bit pale, and actually quite goth-like
So i thought okay, i'm here now,
So decided to go along for the ride
They soon started talking about bats
Which sounded quite interesting
Especially about bats in the attic
And how 8uncomfortable they found it
I thought they were concerned at their plight
But it turned out i was seriously wrong...
I may of misread the details though
What i thought was a writing group of sorts
As about a dozen of us turned up
Some looked a bit long in the tooth
And a bit pale, and actually quite goth-like
So i thought okay, i'm here now,
So decided to go along for the ride
They soon started talking about bats
Which sounded quite interesting
Especially about bats in the attic
And how 8uncomfortable they found it
I thought they were concerned at their plight
But it turned out i was seriously wrong...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
#surreal
#vampires
33 reads
0 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
16th May 2024 3:06am
16th May 2024 3:06am
When She Met Archer
Here lies Miss Challenge Accepted.
“I’ll put the apple on my head.”
is what she said.
Then she hit the floor,
and could say no more.
Looks like fate intercepted.
“I’ll put the apple on my head.”
is what she said.
Then she hit the floor,
and could say no more.
Looks like fate intercepted.
#death
#funny
#love
34 reads
20 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Jan 2025 1:41pm
17th Jan 2025 1:41pm
Greetings Earthlings!
I sometimes wonder (i actually wonder a lot!)
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
#funny
#philosophical
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
5th Feb 2025 9:56pm
5th Feb 2025 9:56pm
Shin-rin Yoku Too!
Sun bathing
One tends to get a nice tan
To much sun
One goes lobster!
Shin-rin Yoku (tree bathing)
I spent to long under the leaves
And turned green!
this experience
Left me feeling jaded!
by Jemia
One tends to get a nice tan
To much sun
One goes lobster!
Shin-rin Yoku (tree bathing)
I spent to long under the leaves
And turned green!
this experience
Left me feeling jaded!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#nature #trees
#nature #trees
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Mar 2025 4:52pm
2nd Mar 2025 4:52pm
Hops!
Into the woods
Where lay
Folk of another kind of ethereal
Who every morning
Had cornflakes
As their cereal
Although some would forage
Opting instead
For frogs legs porridge!
by Jemia
Where lay
Folk of another kind of ethereal
Who every morning
Had cornflakes
As their cereal
Although some would forage
Opting instead
For frogs legs porridge!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#magic #surreal
#magic #surreal
36 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
Holes
"So, young lady, you aim to tidy up your flat?"
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#prose #satirical
#prose #satirical
37 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
Pats On The Back!
Discovered
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
39 reads
0 Comments
backdeckbenny
Poem Published
14th Dec 2024 6:42am
14th Dec 2024 6:42am
Grey Matter
I'm sure we'd all agree that the brain is an amazing organ.
It works 24/7 , 365 days of the year, from the moment men are born until the moment they get their first erection.
Try and deny it fellas.
It works 24/7 , 365 days of the year, from the moment men are born until the moment they get their first erection.
Try and deny it fellas.
#funny
40 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
August 31st 2019 (Big Camp)
Five days after performing at Hastings Pride
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
#funny
#happiness
#holiday
#LifeAsAWriter
#music
40 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
12th Feb 2025 3:56pm
12th Feb 2025 3:56pm
Only Be A Sec (xSixty!)
A
Minutia
Of
Minute (rhymes with newt!)
Minute ( ditto init!)
Minuets
by Jemia
Minutia
Of
Minute (rhymes with newt!)
Minute ( ditto init!)
Minuets
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #PowerOfWords
#philosophical #PowerOfWords
40 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
