Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
14th Jun 2024 4:27pm
14th Jun 2024 4:27pm
A ride to the ER with Vision_of_Insanity
They've been living their lives day by day
Boring & mundane, both need to get laid
His wife of 30 years was never in the mood
They're turning into old, crotchety prudes
Each day they enjoy their favorite porno stations
Privately secure, fingering, jerking, masturbation
The release is great but they crave for more
Maybe tonight she'll be his dirty fucking whore
A few times they've tried to engage in foreplay
Maybe tomorrow, just not today
Occasionally it came up in conversation
"We need to fuck, we...
Boring & mundane, both need to get laid
His wife of 30 years was never in the mood
They're turning into old, crotchety prudes
Each day they enjoy their favorite porno stations
Privately secure, fingering, jerking, masturbation
The release is great but they crave for more
Maybe tonight she'll be his dirty fucking whore
A few times they've tried to engage in foreplay
Maybe tomorrow, just not today
Occasionally it came up in conversation
"We need to fuck, we...
#erotic
#funny
25 reads
3 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
4th Jul 2024 1:20am
4th Jul 2024 1:20am
Bedtime Capers
He gallivants into my room.
His face is a sight for sore eyes.
We kiss in an adulterated fashion
and my passion for him burns deep.
He rigamaroles words for foreplay,
but without delay he is in my mouth.
My mother hears all the brouhaha,
and she kicks the door down in fear.
Flummoxed, she beats him with the broom block
meanwhile, his cock is flying about.
She calls him a hoodwink,
but she does not know I have a kink.
Meanwhile, he desperately tries to pull
his britches up and cries for mercy.
He literally jumps out of...
His face is a sight for sore eyes.
We kiss in an adulterated fashion
and my passion for him burns deep.
He rigamaroles words for foreplay,
but without delay he is in my mouth.
My mother hears all the brouhaha,
and she kicks the door down in fear.
Flummoxed, she beats him with the broom block
meanwhile, his cock is flying about.
She calls him a hoodwink,
but she does not know I have a kink.
Meanwhile, he desperately tries to pull
his britches up and cries for mercy.
He literally jumps out of...
#funny
#WritingPoetry
25 reads
9 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
Three Months Hard Labour
There is a young bar
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
#funny
#historical
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
25 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
Runaways
I visited lost property
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
25 reads
0 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
13th May 2024 12:59pm
13th May 2024 12:59pm
I Have Books
I have books, upon books, upon books,
And on every sheet, I leave a piece of me.
Whether it is sweet poetry
Or someone’s demise
A lot of it will meet no one’s eyes
It started years ago
When random ideas began to flow
Then harsh reality set in
You need money if you want to be live’n
Employment here I come
Not what I envision
But what is done is done
Am I strong enough to go for a dream?
I am more than this, is what it seems.
So I took a book
I took a breath.
Tried my...
And on every sheet, I leave a piece of me.
Whether it is sweet poetry
Or someone’s demise
A lot of it will meet no one’s eyes
It started years ago
When random ideas began to flow
Then harsh reality set in
You need money if you want to be live’n
Employment here I come
Not what I envision
But what is done is done
Am I strong enough to go for a dream?
I am more than this, is what it seems.
So I took a book
I took a breath.
Tried my...
#funny
#SelfReflection
29 reads
18 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Nov 2024 11:08pm
7th Nov 2024 11:08pm
Truths, And Other Variables There-in
I love you Donald Trump
In the same way
Like i like dogshit on my shoes
Or mosquitto bites on my anywhere
I love you like i love rice pudding
Which equally is likely to make me throw up
I love you for your hair
And the courage it must take to venture out with it
You must use a very good glue
So you are obviously brave
I'd like to tell you
How truly wonderful you are
But that would be a complete lie
But i guess you're use to lies
Well take care (don't!)
And have a nice day (have a shitty one)
by Jemia
In the same way
Like i like dogshit on my shoes
Or mosquitto bites on my anywhere
I love you like i love rice pudding
Which equally is likely to make me throw up
I love you for your hair
And the courage it must take to venture out with it
You must use a very good glue
So you are obviously brave
I'd like to tell you
How truly wonderful you are
But that would be a complete lie
But i guess you're use to lies
Well take care (don't!)
And have a nice day (have a shitty one)
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#politics
29 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Sep 2024 10:28pm
9th Sep 2024 10:28pm
Sixty Score Codsprats!
All sounds fishy to me
So i sailed the seven seas
Which had all turned to sand
Making it much easier to find land
And no concerns about sinking
Which set me to thinking
I was to introduce a selkie into this tale
Wondering if she had codsprats for sale
A hundred dozen, or sixty score
Don't think i'd want any more
Sixty score codsprats
1200 Postcards (at)
by Jemia
So i sailed the seven seas
Which had all turned to sand
Making it much easier to find land
And no concerns about sinking
Which set me to thinking
I was to introduce a selkie into this tale
Wondering if she had codsprats for sale
A hundred dozen, or sixty score
Don't think i'd want any more
Sixty score codsprats
1200 Postcards (at)
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical
30 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
31st Oct 2024 00:12am
31st Oct 2024 00:12am
No(n)sense?
I sensed an ounce of sense
It cost me fifty pence
Not to be senseless
But this sense was nonsense
So still no sense
And now ive lost my fifty pence
Which is far better
Than losing fifty pens
And have nothing to write with
But still make no sense!
by Jemia
It cost me fifty pence
Not to be senseless
But this sense was nonsense
So still no sense
And now ive lost my fifty pence
Which is far better
Than losing fifty pens
And have nothing to write with
But still make no sense!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
30 reads
0 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
My Pest Problems
I ain't got no lucci
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
#frustration
#funny
31 reads
26 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
19th Jun 2024 3:01pm
19th Jun 2024 3:01pm
Ode To Caffeine
When I first heard of you, I didn't know what to expect
There were whispers and discussions and yet…
I was not tempted until that day
You had an accomplice
He said “why don't you try a dopio?”
“A dopio?”
“It's a double shot espresso
it's the only way I keep going for the day
I'm telling you you're gonna feel things you have never felt before”
I thought about it and decided
It's time to stop playing these games and just give you a shot
I went out and paid and had you in my hands
I still looked at...
There were whispers and discussions and yet…
I was not tempted until that day
You had an accomplice
He said “why don't you try a dopio?”
“A dopio?”
“It's a double shot espresso
it's the only way I keep going for the day
I'm telling you you're gonna feel things you have never felt before”
I thought about it and decided
It's time to stop playing these games and just give you a shot
I went out and paid and had you in my hands
I still looked at...
#funny
#morning
31 reads
17 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
20th Jun 2024 7:15pm
20th Jun 2024 7:15pm
Never call 911 in a BDSM emergency
911 how may I direct your call?”
I'm not sure if I should call you but I don't know who else to talk to.
“We are here to help what is the situation.”
My pets have just proposed that we become “OPEN” with our sessions.
“Excuse me miss did you just say you're pets, as in animals?
No, they are not animals they are my heart.
“Please elaborate”
Well she is my kitten and he is just Sam.
“What is the situation?”
The situation is my heart is hurting I don't understand what is...
I'm not sure if I should call you but I don't know who else to talk to.
“We are here to help what is the situation.”
My pets have just proposed that we become “OPEN” with our sessions.
“Excuse me miss did you just say you're pets, as in animals?
No, they are not animals they are my heart.
“Please elaborate”
Well she is my kitten and he is just Sam.
“What is the situation?”
The situation is my heart is hurting I don't understand what is...
#erotic
#funny
31 reads
6 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
5th Sep 2024 2:15am
5th Sep 2024 2:15am
Foot Loose
I sat with one of my legs
Hanging over the side of the bed
Daydreaming (it was 3:30am
So i suppose i should call it night dreaming
Whilst wide awake!)
Letting my imagination run away with me (like we were eloping!)
When i imagined an arm coming out
From under my bed
And grabbing me by the ankle!
Needless to say
I quickly lifted my leg onto the bed
Which made me feelb quite silly
So out of bravado, and retalliation to my fears
And that it was complete nonsense to have such fears
I decided to hang both mylegs over the side...
Hanging over the side of the bed
Daydreaming (it was 3:30am
So i suppose i should call it night dreaming
Whilst wide awake!)
Letting my imagination run away with me (like we were eloping!)
When i imagined an arm coming out
From under my bed
And grabbing me by the ankle!
Needless to say
I quickly lifted my leg onto the bed
Which made me feelb quite silly
So out of bravado, and retalliation to my fears
And that it was complete nonsense to have such fears
I decided to hang both mylegs over the side...
#fear
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#monsters
#satirical
31 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
