Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Feb 2025 2:12pm
2nd Feb 2025 2:12pm
Recipricate?
Chop sticks
Are okay as back scratchers
Not as good as rubbing up against a tree
Like a bear!
But i'm seeking alternative means
For scratching my back
So ive joined a dating site
Where-in i state
"If you scratch my back......!"
Ive received one response so far
"So if you have pets, it may be fleas!"
by Jemia
Are okay as back scratchers
Not as good as rubbing up against a tree
Like a bear!
But i'm seeking alternative means
For scratching my back
So ive joined a dating site
Where-in i state
"If you scratch my back......!"
Ive received one response so far
"So if you have pets, it may be fleas!"
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeStruggles
27 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Jan 2025 1:41pm
17th Jan 2025 1:41pm
Greetings Earthlings!
I sometimes wonder (i actually wonder a lot!)
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
If i'm actually an alien from a faraway world
If so, what is my reason/purpose on this planet?
Did i volunteer? was it a holiday destination
And therefore is planet earth, my Hotel California!
(Stop the world, i wanna get off!)
Or maybe i was sent here for the heinious crime of poeting!
Am i here for life? or will i be collected ET fashion?
But i fear interplanetary space travel
May set my vertigo off, as it scales new heights!
Fliggle woggle doop!
("I came in peace, but left in pieces!)...
#funny
#philosophical
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
29 reads
0 Comments
Shon
Poem Published
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
5th Jan 2025 4:38pm
Your a poet.
Your
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
a poet
my son.
When
your balls
Hit
your
bum
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#uplifting
30 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
7th Jan 2025 11:40am
Am Bi?
Ambivert
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
ambit
Ambidextrous
ambitions
Ambiguitease!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody #satirical
#parody #satirical
30 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
25th Jan 2025 4:37pm
Holes
"So, young lady, you aim to tidy up your flat?"
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
"Yes indeed!" said i with great enthusiasm"
"Ive been planning it for years!"
"And hoping soon, that these plans will come into fruition!"
"Which in turn, will result in the much awaited tidy up!"
"I think your flat may need tidying down!"
I suddenly recognised this person, i hadn't seen him for a while
And had been wondering what on earth he was doing in my flat?
Then remembered, it was my landlord!
"I'm afraid i can't fix the...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#prose #satirical
#prose #satirical
30 reads
0 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
My Pest Problems
I ain't got no lucci
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
#frustration
#funny
31 reads
26 Comments
backdeckbenny
Poem Published
14th Dec 2024 6:42am
14th Dec 2024 6:42am
Grey Matter
I'm sure we'd all agree that the brain is an amazing organ.
It works 24/7 , 365 days of the year, from the moment men are born until the moment they get their first erection.
Try and deny it fellas.
It works 24/7 , 365 days of the year, from the moment men are born until the moment they get their first erection.
Try and deny it fellas.
#funny
31 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
8th Jan 2025 1:07pm
August 31st 2019 (Big Camp)
Five days after performing at Hastings Pride
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
(My first performance on a stage!)
I was then transported to Lincolnshire
For a fabulous Big Camp
In a field surrounded by other fields
Containing sheep, and turnips!
I'd put myself down on an open mic
I was awaiting my turn
And was to follow a strong man act
Which was pretty impressive
But i was thinking, how does a poet follow that?
Whilst waiting, i went to get myself another cider
When i noticed they had something called mead
Never liked honey, but thought 'when in Rome'
I...
#funny
#happiness
#holiday
#LifeAsAWriter
#music
31 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
9th Jan 2025 1:30pm
Pats On The Back!
Discovered
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
Frisbees
Made
genetically
from
Engineered
cow
pats!
by Jemia
#funny
#satirical
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
#SelfDiscovery #surreal
31 reads
0 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
16th May 2024 3:06am
16th May 2024 3:06am
When She Met Archer
Here lies Miss Challenge Accepted.
“I’ll put the apple on my head.”
is what she said.
Then she hit the floor,
and could say no more.
Looks like fate intercepted.
“I’ll put the apple on my head.”
is what she said.
Then she hit the floor,
and could say no more.
Looks like fate intercepted.
#death
#funny
#love
33 reads
20 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
7th Jan 2025 9:13pm
Going Batty
There's an antique bat
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
In my attic
So i call it my battic
Not to be confused with batique
Which would be more unique
Although i could have
An antique batique bat in my attic
Although the bat, is on my black velvet hat
No attics actually involved
And the bat on my hat
Is not actually antique
So the bat is on the belfry
A belfry without bells
Thus a bell free belfry
A belle in the bell free belfry
Sounds like Esmerelda being summoned
"The belles! the belles!
Quasis mo jo
Not appealing
No end to...
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#parody
#satirical
#surreal
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
19th Jan 2025 8:41pm
Miss A Little!
Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
Doesn't actually do any riding
And the big bad wolf
Has gone into hiding
As he'd heard, that he was to be axed
From this particular performance
Due to cuts
And is to be replaced by a buck-toothed bunny
"What big teeth you have!" said the hood
"All the better to gnaw you with........!"
So off to the deep dark woods
Off the beaten tracks
Meanwhile......
Little Miss Red Hood (no riding!)
Little Miss Red (no hood, in the wood!)
Little Miss (no red!)
Miss (no longer...
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
34 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
