Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Dec 2024 6:09pm
17th Dec 2024 6:09pm
The Marmite Monster
The Marmite monster
Sometimes leaves
Their sticky footprints
In my hair!
And sometimes
Seemingly everywhere!
But where i like
This Marmite monster most
Is when he's crept
Across my toast!
by Jemia
Sometimes leaves
Their sticky footprints
In my hair!
And sometimes
Seemingly everywhere!
But where i like
This Marmite monster most
Is when he's crept
Across my toast!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#monsters #satirical
#monsters #satirical
30 reads
0 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
23rd May 2024 10:56pm
My Pest Problems
I ain't got no lucci
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
to afford Gucci.
So I'll buy Coach.
Little did I know a roach
stowed away in my travel
to unravel
this world as my oyster.
When did the roach hoist their
body into my brand-new bag?
I feel like the old hag
with eight cats, except I have creepy crawlers.
I sure ain't living the life of a baller.
Anyhow, after a long day of shopping
I'm hopping
on the bus to get to my house.
I need to change my blouse
and get ready to give my dog a bath.
Honestly, I'm not ready for the wrath
of...
#frustration
#funny
31 reads
26 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
23rd Oct 2024 00:52am
As Quiet As A Mouse! (acrostic 5-7-5)
Cat
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
sat
on
the
mat
Aware
of
mice
with
clogs
on
Tulip
clip-clopping?
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
31 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Nov 2024 1:42pm
26th Nov 2024 1:42pm
Horseplay
just checked the heel of one of my boots,
and noticed it had come a bit loose,
so grabbed a small hammer,
lifted my foot up
as couldn't be bothered
to take my shoe off,
and started to hammer it back into place.
the strange thing here was
that i had a strange inclination
to neigh! 😏🙃😂
and noticed it had come a bit loose,
so grabbed a small hammer,
lifted my foot up
as couldn't be bothered
to take my shoe off,
and started to hammer it back into place.
the strange thing here was
that i had a strange inclination
to neigh! 😏🙃😂
#funny
#horses
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
31 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
1st Dec 2024 7:28pm
1st Dec 2024 7:28pm
Papier Mache
If i were
a celebrity
I'd fill condoms
with dirty waters
And throw them
at reporters
From the paparazzi,
and others from the gutter
Then wander off happily,
with barely an utter
by Jemia
a celebrity
I'd fill condoms
with dirty waters
And throw them
at reporters
From the paparazzi,
and others from the gutter
Then wander off happily,
with barely an utter
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#revenge
32 reads
0 Comments
Ljdynamic
Poem Published
16th May 2024 3:06am
16th May 2024 3:06am
When She Met Archer
Here lies Miss Challenge Accepted.
“I’ll put the apple on my head.”
is what she said.
Then she hit the floor,
and could say no more.
Looks like fate intercepted.
“I’ll put the apple on my head.”
is what she said.
Then she hit the floor,
and could say no more.
Looks like fate intercepted.
#death
#funny
#love
33 reads
20 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
14th Jun 2024 4:27pm
14th Jun 2024 4:27pm
A ride to the ER with Vision_of_Insanity
They've been living their lives day by day
Boring & mundane, both need to get laid
His wife of 30 years was never in the mood
They're turning into old, crotchety prudes
Each day they enjoy their favorite porno stations
Privately secure, fingering, jerking, masturbation
The release is great but they crave for more
Maybe tonight she'll be his dirty fucking whore
A few times they've tried to engage in foreplay
Maybe tomorrow, just not today
Occasionally it came up in conversation
"We need to fuck, we...
Boring & mundane, both need to get laid
His wife of 30 years was never in the mood
They're turning into old, crotchety prudes
Each day they enjoy their favorite porno stations
Privately secure, fingering, jerking, masturbation
The release is great but they crave for more
Maybe tonight she'll be his dirty fucking whore
A few times they've tried to engage in foreplay
Maybe tomorrow, just not today
Occasionally it came up in conversation
"We need to fuck, we...
#erotic
#funny
34 reads
3 Comments
MalcolmG
Poem Published
25th Nov 2024 8:22pm
25th Nov 2024 8:22pm
The Misadventures of White Snow
In a castle where shadows crept by,
White Snow was born with a piercing cry.
No queen with needles, no poetic woes,
Just a scandal: her mother arose
And ran off with a prince from another land,
Leaving her child with her father’s hand.
The king, heartbroken, tried to mend,
Marrying a woman who aimed to befriend
The bitter girl with a heart of stone,
White Snow, who craved a screen and a phone.
TikToks posted with filtered glow,
But envy festered deep below.
Her stepmother, kind, with a radiant air,
Unintentionally...
White Snow was born with a piercing cry.
No queen with needles, no poetic woes,
Just a scandal: her mother arose
And ran off with a prince from another land,
Leaving her child with her father’s hand.
The king, heartbroken, tried to mend,
Marrying a woman who aimed to befriend
The bitter girl with a heart of stone,
White Snow, who craved a screen and a phone.
TikToks posted with filtered glow,
But envy festered deep below.
Her stepmother, kind, with a radiant air,
Unintentionally...
#fiction
#funny
34 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
Runaways
I visited lost property
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
35 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
11th Dec 2024 9:01pm
11th Dec 2024 9:01pm
Jean Genie
I
once
discovered
Levi's
growing
in
a
pond!
A
jeanetic
pool?
by Jemia
once
discovered
Levi's
growing
in
a
pond!
A
jeanetic
pool?
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical
35 reads
0 Comments
fianaturie8
Fia Naturie
Fia Naturie
Poem Published
13th May 2024 12:59pm
13th May 2024 12:59pm
I Have Books
I have books, upon books, upon books,
And on every sheet, I leave a piece of me.
Whether it is sweet poetry
Or someone’s demise
A lot of it will meet no one’s eyes
It started years ago
When random ideas began to flow
Then harsh reality set in
You need money if you want to be live’n
Employment here I come
Not what I envision
But what is done is done
Am I strong enough to go for a dream?
I am more than this, is what it seems.
So I took a book
I took a breath.
Tried my...
And on every sheet, I leave a piece of me.
Whether it is sweet poetry
Or someone’s demise
A lot of it will meet no one’s eyes
It started years ago
When random ideas began to flow
Then harsh reality set in
You need money if you want to be live’n
Employment here I come
Not what I envision
But what is done is done
Am I strong enough to go for a dream?
I am more than this, is what it seems.
So I took a book
I took a breath.
Tried my...
#funny
#SelfReflection
36 reads
18 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Sep 2024 11:03pm
17th Sep 2024 11:03pm
A Dyers Diary Of His Dire Rear!
A Dyers Diary Of His Dire Rear!
And the dyers ear
In a dire diary
Things got pretty dire for the dyer
Because of his dire rear
But nothing he heard
Because of his dyers dire ear!
by Jemia
And the dyers ear
In a dire diary
Things got pretty dire for the dyer
Because of his dire rear
But nothing he heard
Because of his dyers dire ear!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeStruggles
#satirical
36 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
