Not Meant for Me

Romance has not been meant for me
Since the days that my love was taken from me
When the world decided he couldn’t be with me
And my life crashed around me        
       
I wandered in my mind aimlessly
I couldn’t see past my heart’s new vacancy
My fortress was constructed painfully
Becoming debaucherous my new specialty        
       
The earth traveled the sun ever so faithfully
Over time I found myself living out my wildest fantasies
With little emotion I used men salaciously
Some would say I lived life too shamefully        
       
Then along came the man who attempted to save me
His words the concerto that played my heartstrings so rhythmically
I let down my guard too hastily
And fell in love with my emancipator unabashedly

A whirlwind of emotions, I was swept off my feet almost too gracefully
I confused his savior complex with love mistakenly
I overlooked his moodiness for what I now know was hostility
Never comprehending that it was his narcissism that shone blatantly        
       
Dropped from his life in one fell swoop I was left floundering
As the questions in my mind kept compounding
I swiftly threw those walls back up to keep anyone else from entering
Back to lasciviousness I found myself surrendering
 
Romance was never meant for me
In my past there was a man who gave his heart to me
In my soul I remember everything
It’s only in my dreams that I’m no longer hurting