deepundergroundpoetry.com
I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Yeah
Thought nobody was around around so I let it rip
It was much louder than I presumed it would be
This woman who works there gave me a sly smile
Think she was jealous
Was hoping for a discount on my purchase
Maybe next time
She'll remember me
That's for sure
Thought nobody was around around so I let it rip
It was much louder than I presumed it would be
This woman who works there gave me a sly smile
Think she was jealous
Was hoping for a discount on my purchase
Maybe next time
She'll remember me
That's for sure
Written by
PoetSpeak
Published 11th Mar 2023
Author's Note
Fart Art by Poetspeak
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 16
reading list entries 2
comments 62
reads 411
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Thanks for a good laugh. I hope you can kick this writer's block right in dick. The art reminds me of when a ceiling is leaking and those square tiles get all gross looking.. I certainly hope your underwear didn't look like this when you got home, Lmao.
LJ
LJ
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 3:33pm
Farts are good for destroying lots of stuff, like first date impressions….
Happy you got a laugh LJ
THX
Happy you got a laugh LJ
THX
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 3:32pm
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 3:33pm
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
11th Mar 2023 3:35pm
It's a good thing I like you and your Art
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Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 3:37pm
If you nominated it for Poem of the Month - March, I’d probably have a good shot at winning…
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
11th Mar 2023 3:38pm
LOL duplicate comment even asked me twice.
No ❤️
No ❤️
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
11th Mar 2023 3:44pm
I'll take the gift card tho
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 3:46pm
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 3:47pm
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
11th Mar 2023 3:52pm
Harsh!!!! I am a Leo with the creativity of a Pisces. Double barrels. Besides. Everyday is my birthday! Cake and Ice Cream! (Do really like the art though) 🙂
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 3:55pm
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Mar 2023 4:09pm
11th Mar 2023 4:05pm
Ty. Happy looks good on me.
But you know shit 😊
Edit. This is my last comment on here!!!!!
3 in Walmart next?
But you know shit 😊
Edit. This is my last comment on here!!!!!
3 in Walmart next?
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 4:07pm
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 4:25pm
O
M
G
THANK YOU for the smile this morning. And your painting is oddly perfect for this piece.
Loved this.
M
G
THANK YOU for the smile this morning. And your painting is oddly perfect for this piece.
Loved this.
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 4:34pm
I think I looked through 1800 of my images to find the perfect fart visual. Had to have that gaseous feel to it.
Thanks Mary !!
Thanks Mary !!
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
11th Mar 2023 4:27pm
Not sure why, but " I think she was jealous " made me laugh.
My friend Robert has a similar story, from his teen years. He was in a Walgreens, in a separate aisle from his mom. He accidentally cut a high decibel fart and was so embarrassed he left the store. When his mom came out she informed him that it was too bad he'd left because someone farted really loud and it was hilarious.
My friend Robert has a similar story, from his teen years. He was in a Walgreens, in a separate aisle from his mom. He accidentally cut a high decibel fart and was so embarrassed he left the store. When his mom came out she informed him that it was too bad he'd left because someone farted really loud and it was hilarious.
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 4:38pm
Thats a great story.
It's always possible to try and stuff a fart back up the pipe but the high prices CVS charges for merchandise, I thought they deserved some of my output.
Makes a good story too.
Thx Pink
It's always possible to try and stuff a fart back up the pipe but the high prices CVS charges for merchandise, I thought they deserved some of my output.
Makes a good story too.
Thx Pink
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
11th Mar 2023 4:39pm
What's life if the mayor can't have a little blowout every now and then?
The artwork is stunning.
The artwork is stunning.
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 4:50pm
The woman who worked there was surely jealous.
As we all know women don’t fart. At least loudly in big box store chains. I know what you’re going to say OH. It’s probably funnier than what I wrote.
Go on, let it rip !!
Humor is everything in our jaded lives ….
🤠💩🤡☠️🙌👍👏
As we all know women don’t fart. At least loudly in big box store chains. I know what you’re going to say OH. It’s probably funnier than what I wrote.
Go on, let it rip !!
Humor is everything in our jaded lives ….
🤠💩🤡☠️🙌👍👏
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
- Edited 11th Mar 2023 6:01pm
11th Mar 2023 5:43pm
🤔, let me see.... well there's more room out than in. 😁.
By the way, by the colors in your painting, I have to wonder what you've been eating because I see all too clearly 🤣
By the way, by the colors in your painting, I have to wonder what you've been eating because I see all too clearly 🤣
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Good Gravy OH
Let’s see
Last night was pasta and chicken and broccoli.
Not so bad.
Raspberry sorbet for dessert.
Possibly we should back track to Thursday night.
Fortunately can’t remember !!
Let’s see
Last night was pasta and chicken and broccoli.
Not so bad.
Raspberry sorbet for dessert.
Possibly we should back track to Thursday night.
Fortunately can’t remember !!
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 5:13pm
You've made a Welshman laugh out loud. Always had a peculiar impression of US malls and this has er...clouded my view. There was a boy at school we called Follow, as the poor lad always followed through after an anus burp. Went on to become an accountant or something, which probably adds up. Dog's farts are bad. Really bad.
Impressive artwork again PS.
Impressive artwork again PS.
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Well I try to keep levity in our soiled lives here in the Underground. If it were a made up story it would be funny but as a real life 8 of 10 fart exit it was truly impressive. I thought it deserved a poem for clarity and crispness. Odor free too, as far as I know. My last fog lived till 16 1/2, she was the Queen of canine seepage.
My new hound is still a youngster so it remains to be seen or smelled !!
Great comment Rob
Thx
My new hound is still a youngster so it remains to be seen or smelled !!
Great comment Rob
Thx
Anonymous
- Edited 17th Jan 2024 00:45am
11th Mar 2023 6:28pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 6:56pm
Anonymous
- Edited 17th Jan 2024 00:45am
11th Mar 2023 7:09pm
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 9:07pm
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 7:08pm
Your words made me chuckle.
Your minimal piece is very calming.
regards
James
Your minimal piece is very calming.
regards
James
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 9:09pm
I do my best.
Work with what I have?
A fun one to write, happened just this morning. Store still closed. Airing it out takes time ..
Work with what I have?
A fun one to write, happened just this morning. Store still closed. Airing it out takes time ..
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 7:16pm
Was it loud enough to cause visible shock waves, if they watch it on a playback of the store video monitor ?
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 9:12pm
Well not sure about that but store still closed while Hazmat team does it's job. Could be days. I'm monitoring from my perch eating a bean and cheese burrito. Future tasks ..
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 7:33pm
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 9:15pm
I was hoping you would, see this one E.You always appreciated my twisted way of doing things and humor of course. I think the painting compliments well too.
Somethings burning 🔥 ....
Xx
🤠👹❤
Somethings burning 🔥 ....
Xx
🤠👹❤
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 8:18pm
Bravo!! 👏👏👏👏
That's what I would have said if I was the lady in the store. She was surely impressed. At your audacity, if not the actual output.
I've dropped some horrendous bombs, usually in clothing stores for some reason. Silent but deadly. Then I have to move away and pretend to be interested in something on another rack....
Perfect fart art!!
❤️k
That's what I would have said if I was the lady in the store. She was surely impressed. At your audacity, if not the actual output.
I've dropped some horrendous bombs, usually in clothing stores for some reason. Silent but deadly. Then I have to move away and pretend to be interested in something on another rack....
Perfect fart art!!
❤️k
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
11th Mar 2023 9:17pm
Everyone has a fart story.
Gotta be brave enough to confess.
World needs more fart stories.
We could collaborate..
😷🤠🤯💩🤡👹😡💋❤
Gotta be brave enough to confess.
World needs more fart stories.
We could collaborate..
😷🤠🤯💩🤡👹😡💋❤
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 3:28am
I don't trust anyone who claims they don't fart. Bring on the gaseous stories!
🤣🤣🤣
🤣🤣🤣
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Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 3:32am
Farts keep relationships together.
Share the glory
Share the embarrassment
Say it loud
With your ass
Walgreens next ...
Share the glory
Share the embarrassment
Say it loud
With your ass
Walgreens next ...
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 3:38am
Maybe I'll drop one in church tomorrow. Rattle it off the piano bench.
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Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 3:39am
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 3:41am
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 12:12pm
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Art is dead.
I'm calling it.
Art is OFFICIALLY DEAD.
I secretly laughed.
Listen PS... it's like this... it's only March 11, and I only have one nomination left for poem of the month. This is absolutely deserving.
I wasted. I mean used. My last nomination on this. You'd better win.
I'm calling it.
Art is OFFICIALLY DEAD.
I secretly laughed.
Listen PS... it's like this... it's only March 11, and I only have one nomination left for poem of the month. This is absolutely deserving.
I wasted. I mean used. My last nomination on this. You'd better win.
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Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 00:31am
If I don't win there's something terribly wrong with the process. I mean who else would have the balls to post something like this ?
Present company included, excluded, excommunicated...what fucking ever
You have balls Betty, Girl balls, called chutzpah no matter how you slice it or dice it.
I'm humbled, I'm honored
I thank you from the bottom of my jaded heart ❤
Present company included, excluded, excommunicated...what fucking ever
You have balls Betty, Girl balls, called chutzpah no matter how you slice it or dice it.
I'm humbled, I'm honored
I thank you from the bottom of my jaded heart ❤
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 00:11am
you are terrible dearest Poet
I mean really I knew you would get a million comments for this
because real and we all fart we like to pretend we don't but we do
you're so bad and I love it ❤️
I mean really I knew you would get a million comments for this
because real and we all fart we like to pretend we don't but we do
you're so bad and I love it ❤️
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Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 00:40am
Don't ruin the myth Brenda.
Women don't fart, do they ?
And if they do they are petite facts, right ?
WRONG, everyone does fart and providing they don't contain a methane burst they are pretty funny, especially when they are blasted in quiet places. Like in a movie theater during a moment of pathos.
I have spoken and I thank you Brenda.
❤❤
Women don't fart, do they ?
And if they do they are petite facts, right ?
WRONG, everyone does fart and providing they don't contain a methane burst they are pretty funny, especially when they are blasted in quiet places. Like in a movie theater during a moment of pathos.
I have spoken and I thank you Brenda.
❤❤
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
You should ask that woman into the back stockroom or a private place and fucked her and gave her orgasmic bliss over and over again. Keep on writing.
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Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
12th Mar 2023 2:38am
I wonder if she would give me a chocolate bunny if I gave her orgasmic bliss ? They have a lot of them there now for Easter.
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
Anonymous
14th Mar 2023 12:33pm
<< post removed >>
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
14th Mar 2023 12:51pm
Thank you for your commentary on my poem. I think I'm pretty well known on DUP to be direct in my everyday approach to life and this was no exception. That said, the "fart" is basically the elephant in the room subject. A fart can be just a bodily emission and harmless or depending where it's delivered funny or tragic. I don't believe cutting a loud fart at say a quiet moment at a Broadway show to be anything but tragically embarrassing. But in quiet aisle at CVS 7am, well I see some humor in that. It's not something I do on an everyday basis in public but in this case it just had to emit so thinking the store empty I delivered.
I think the wonder of DUP is the chance to write humor and have such a fun experience with the comments I received. Men always think women don't fart. We see them or higher decorum and better manners but the truth is EVERYONE FARTS, so I went for the humor aspect...
I appreciate your comment, humor is perhaps what's missing in many cases so providing some levity was my main objective with this write.
Thanks !!
I think the wonder of DUP is the chance to write humor and have such a fun experience with the comments I received. Men always think women don't fart. We see them or higher decorum and better manners but the truth is EVERYONE FARTS, so I went for the humor aspect...
I appreciate your comment, humor is perhaps what's missing in many cases so providing some levity was my main objective with this write.
Thanks !!
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
14th Mar 2023 7:51pm
I hope you didn't follow through! But... good for you for letting rip. Sometimes I fart because it reflects the way I feel society is going at that moment.
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Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
14th Mar 2023 7:57pm
My farts are generally based on what I had for dinner the night before. My diet is pretty healthy so lots of fruit and fiber items can cause disturbances in the lower chamber.
I'm noting your fart tendencies on your chart Billy
Thx for the visit
I'm noting your fart tendencies on your chart Billy
Thx for the visit
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
14th Mar 2023 10:33pm
One of those strange moments of magic that happens unexpectedly in our life.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
hugs,
buddhakitty.
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
14th Mar 2023 11:07pm
I had a really good time with all the fun comments on this 0ne. Humor bk.
Farts are funny !!!
Farts are funny !!!
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
17th Mar 2023 3:51pm
I’m not surprised about the loud RIP
I’m not surprised you were proud of it
I’m not surprised you wrote about it
At least it wasn’t a juicy one, lol
(Next write: Splatter at Walmart on aisle 9!)
I am surprised… a CVS gift card!?!?#%?
At least an Amazon gift card!! Come on!
Here are some pretty aromatic spring flowers
🌺🌸🌼🌺🌸🌼🌺🌸🌼
I’m not surprised you were proud of it
I’m not surprised you wrote about it
At least it wasn’t a juicy one, lol
(Next write: Splatter at Walmart on aisle 9!)
I am surprised… a CVS gift card!?!?#%?
At least an Amazon gift card!! Come on!
Here are some pretty aromatic spring flowers
🌺🌸🌼🌺🌸🌼🌺🌸🌼
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
17th Mar 2023 4:08pm
You know me
If I'm gonna do something, it's gonna make a splash and a crash !
Hey, say it loud !!
Actually the gift card was for ebay. I'd never buy a CVS gift card. Everything in there is 30 percent higher than everywhere else. Only use store if desperate. Nice woman works there though and I'll bet she's still thinking about that fart, hoping I'll come back and blast another....
Happy pre-Spring NG
Sunshine 🌞 is just around the bend !
🤠💥💯
If I'm gonna do something, it's gonna make a splash and a crash !
Hey, say it loud !!
Actually the gift card was for ebay. I'd never buy a CVS gift card. Everything in there is 30 percent higher than everywhere else. Only use store if desperate. Nice woman works there though and I'll bet she's still thinking about that fart, hoping I'll come back and blast another....
Happy pre-Spring NG
Sunshine 🌞 is just around the bend !
🤠💥💯
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
17th Mar 2023 5:01pm
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
17th Mar 2023 5:20pm
If I had your long locks I'd dye it GREEN for the weekend. Celebrate in grand style.
In lieu of that. Maybe some green beans and a double workout 💚
In lieu of that. Maybe some green beans and a double workout 💚
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
17th Mar 2023 5:37pm
Oh definitely! 🍀 Love that idea!
I’ll put some green sparkles in my hair and a shamrock on my cheek!
You go with the green beans and workouts.
(all bean types permitted)
Post report on Monday. It will be added to your file. Yes, you have a file also. It’s kept in a steel drawer, locked 🔐 Gloves worn at all times.
I’ll put some green sparkles in my hair and a shamrock on my cheek!
You go with the green beans and workouts.
(all bean types permitted)
Post report on Monday. It will be added to your file. Yes, you have a file also. It’s kept in a steel drawer, locked 🔐 Gloves worn at all times.
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
17th Mar 2023 6:41pm
Wow, my file must be long.
Like really long.
Have you been taking notes 📝?
Don't answer that
I plead the 5th
Secret bean confessional. I like black, red and baked beans the best !
Black beans, farts in public places, hmmm
My file just got longer I guess 🙃
Like really long.
Have you been taking notes 📝?
Don't answer that
I plead the 5th
Secret bean confessional. I like black, red and baked beans the best !
Black beans, farts in public places, hmmm
My file just got longer I guess 🙃
Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
18th Mar 2023 3:12pm
Oh the adventures of passing gas out in public, the new frontier of social experiments and stranger reactions.
Loved the colors on this one.
BIG LIKE
Loved the colors on this one.
BIG LIKE
0
Re: Re. I cut a BIG FART in CVS this morning while buying a gift card
18th Mar 2023 3:52pm
It's a week later and the lone employee is still talking about my output. I'll bet she wishes I'd cut another one. Talk of the town I am. Hey fame is fame, grab it or make it
I say !
Thanks Wally
I say !
Thanks Wally