father figures

father figures

I never knew my father well as he was not at home
I think it had something to do with other women
mother divorced him and said he was a butterfly.
I could not picture him as a colourful insect in the glade
instead, I made him into a swashbuckling hero.
A new man moved into our life, and I didn’t like him
he smelled of smoked sardines, telling me what to do.
I was ten years old and decided to leave home
with two apples and a boiled egg, I left slamming
the door behind me; the evening dark and cold
My mother’s friend was sarcastic when I returned
looked at his watch two hours had gone.
In later years I wrote a series of poems about “Alfred”
the pianist who denied he was my father and
realized how important it was for a little boy to have
a father figure when growing up.