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Trying to modernize an antediluvian Medieval relic in the 21st Century? An impossibility William!

 
By Stanley Collymore  
 
What an utterly ridiculous notion  
that you're literally indulging in  
and likewise too very stupidly  
pushing William risibly pretending  
that you're making changes when  
in reality you actually aren't doing
anything effectively and it's solely
disingenuous and fundamentally
so basically egregiously indulged  
In dishonesty. Since distinctively
you're actually not relinquishing  
any of your evidently, unearned  
wealth: unquestionably crucially
non meritocratically, but clearly
nevertheless, so phenomenally  
acquired - plus unquestionably  
too, all unwarranted privileges  
liberally accorded; quite avidly  
hosted while very avariciously  
sociopathically and gloriously  
indulged in and too retained.  
 
Therefore when, and until truly  
intelligent people - not any of  
those irrefutably, evidently  
actually fawning serfs and pitiable  
brownnosing plebeians genuinely
observe you credibly and likewise  
effectively, categorically naturally  
and basically, clearly distinctively  
rather publicly literally physically  
aptly offloading several of those  
bountiful mansions; helicopters
plus big, gas-guzzling Mercedes  
Benz vehicles quite irrespective  
of your true, German biological  
connections, and equally begin  
cutting down basically, on your  
bias for only white employees; similarly leading to prejudiced  
stooges, and your burgeoning  
quagmire of naturally feudally  
mindset asinine advisors who  
you William and Kate crucially  
as the endemic racists, which  
you repulsively are, distinctly  
like having very close to you!  
 
Possibly then and only then, Wills and Katherine, will your actually bogus words and distinctively  
vile, fatuous proselytizing gestures  
to basically attain that so distinctly and avidly craved relevance which  
you're literally rather desperately after to basically, generate some  
urgently needed credibility with
persons like me who clearly see  
your existence, as undoubtedly  
one that's literally and likewise  
substantially crucially mired in  
blatantly egregious ignorance  
which all the same is patently  
and most happily but equally  
ludicrously ensconced in the unintelligent aura, of a crass Medieval mindset! Naturally  
with yourselves William and  
Kate clearly harbingers of a  
Dark Ages history, quite far  
removed from the era that  
we are realistically living in,  
which is a modern, literally  
informative, 21st Century!  
 
(C) Stanley V. Collymore  
8 May 2022.  
 
 
Author's Remarks:  
This contemporary poem was written purely from the perspective that I'm a bona fide, qualified journalist, not a hack, and the subject matter that I've commented on is a news story. Other than that what this utterly fatuous and uninteresting couple, their family members, likeminded friends and brownnosing fawners do with their discernibly pathetic, wholly meritless and thoroughly unfulfilling lives is a matter entirely of their own choosing and will only draw appropriate interest from me if their actions seriously, and also invariably with lives like their own, impact egregiously on the values that I distinctly fundamentally have and likewise attach great importance to.  
 
That said, if clearly for self-evidently spurious, wholly self-servingly, quite liberally augmented with PR reasons William Windsor and his wife Katherine Middleton want to debunk the credibly plausible notion that the both of them are quite manifestly so, essentially elitist, racist and actually self-entitled, but none the less clearly want to quite disingenuously portray a bogus image of themselves for those who're evidently gullible enough to take that patronizing assertion of the two of them and avidly run with it; that's not a matter for me to grapple with but most categorically one for all their legions of idiots who're involved!  
 
However, I'm most happy to literally accord to Kate and William their very fraudulently but all the same purportedly earnest wish, as I regularly do with everyone who is legally married, their accurate and proper designation, that in their case as they allegedly want to be regarded as ordinary folk without their - absurd and evidently to me - meaningless  titles: Mr and Mrs William  and Katherine Windsor!  
 
As for the poem itself, it's pretty self-explanatory; and if your literacy skills and intellectual acumen aren't actually up to scratch, that's really your problem and not mine! As I most emphatically so, concentrated on my education and didn't pointlessly waste my time and energy patently pathetically, fawning over Medieval mindset nobodies!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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