Trying to modernize an antediluvian Medieval relic in the 21st Century? An impossibility William!

  
By Stanley Collymore  
   
What an utterly ridiculous notion    
that you're literally indulging in    
and likewise too very stupidly    
pushing William risibly pretending    
that you're making changes when    
in reality you actually aren't doing  
anything effectively and it's solely  
disingenuous and fundamentally  
so basically egregiously indulged    
In dishonesty. Since distinctively    
you're actually not relinquishing    
any of your evidently, unearned    
wealth: unquestionably crucially    
non meritocratically, but clearly  
nevertheless, so phenomenally    
acquired - plus unquestionably    
too, all unwarranted privileges    
liberally accorded; quite avidly    
hosted while very avariciously    
sociopathically and gloriously    
indulged in and too retained.    
   
Therefore when, and until truly    
intelligent people - not any of    
those irrefutably, evidently    
actually fawning serfs and pitiable    
brownnosing plebeians genuinely  
observe you credibly and likewise    
effectively, categorically naturally    
and basically, clearly distinctively    
rather publicly literally physically    
aptly offloading several of those    
bountiful mansions; helicopters  
plus big, gas-guzzling Mercedes    
Benz vehicles quite irrespective    
of your true, German biological    
connections, and equally begin    
cutting down basically, on your    
bias for only white employees;  
similarly leading to prejudiced    
stooges, and your burgeoning    
quagmire of naturally feudally    
mindset asinine advisors who    
you William and Kate crucially    
as the endemic racists, which    
you repulsively are, distinctly    
like having very close to you!    
   
Possibly then and only then, Wills
and Katherine, will your actually
bogus words and distinctively
vile, fatuous proselytizing gestures    
to basically attain that so distinctly
and avidly craved relevance that    
you're literally rather desperately
after to basically, generate some    
urgently required credibility with  
persons like me who clearly see    
your existence, as undoubtedly    
one that's literally and likewise    
substantially crucially mired in    
blatantly egregious ignorance    
which all the same is patently    
and most happily but equally    
ludicrously ensconced in the
unintelligent aura, of a crass
Medieval mindset! Naturally    
with yourselves William and    
Kate clearly harbingers of a    
Dark Ages history, quite far    
removed from the era that    
we are realistically living in,    
which is a modern, literally    
informative, 21st Century!    
   
(C) Stanley V. Collymore    
8 May 2022.    
   
   
Author's Remarks:    
This contemporary poem was written purely from the perspective that I'm a bona fide, qualified journalist, not a hack, and the subject matter that I've commented on is a news story. Other than that what this utterly fatuous and uninteresting couple, their family members, likeminded friends and brownnosing fawners do with their discernibly pathetic, wholly meritless and thoroughly unfulfilling lives is a matter entirely of their own choosing and will only draw appropriate interest from me if their actions seriously, and also invariably with lives like their own, impact egregiously on the values that I distinctly fundamentally have and likewise attach great importance to.    
   
That said, if clearly for self-evidently spurious, wholly self-servingly, quite liberally augmented with PR reasons William Windsor and his wife Katherine Middleton want to debunk the credibly plausible notion that the both of them are quite manifestly so, essentially elitist, racist and actually self-entitled, but none the less clearly want to quite disingenuously portray a bogus image of themselves for those who're evidently gullible enough to take that patronizing assertion of the two of them and avidly run with it; that's not a matter for me to grapple with but most categorically one for all their legions of idiots who're involved!    
   
However, I'm most happy to literally accord to Kate and William their very fraudulently but all the same purportedly earnest wish, as I regularly do with everyone who is legally married, their accurate and proper designation, that in their case as they allegedly want to be regarded as ordinary folk without their - absurd and evidently to me - meaningless  titles: Mr and Mrs William  and Katherine Windsor!    
   
As for the poem itself, it's pretty self-explanatory; and if your literacy skills and intellectual acumen aren't actually up to scratch, that's really your problem and not mine! As I most emphatically so, concentrated on my education and didn't pointlessly waste my time and energy patently pathetically, fawning over Medieval mindset nobodies!