Trying to modernize an antediluvian Medieval relic in the 21st Century? An impossibility William!
By Stanley Collymore
What an utterly ridiculous notion
that you're literally indulging in
and likewise too very stupidly
pushing William risibly pretending
that you're making changes when
in reality you actually aren't doing
anything effectively and it's solely
disingenuous and fundamentally
so basically egregiously indulged
In dishonesty. Since distinctively
you're actually not relinquishing
any of your evidently, unearned
wealth: unquestionably crucially
non meritocratically, but clearly
nevertheless, so phenomenally
acquired - plus unquestionably
too, all unwarranted privileges
liberally accorded; quite avidly
hosted while very avariciously
sociopathically and gloriously
indulged in and too retained.
Therefore when, and until truly
intelligent people - not any of
those irrefutably, evidently
actually fawning serfs and pitiable
brownnosing plebeians genuinely
observe you credibly and likewise
effectively, categorically naturally
and basically, clearly distinctively
rather publicly literally physically
aptly offloading several of those
bountiful mansions; helicopters
plus big, gas-guzzling Mercedes
Benz vehicles quite irrespective
of your true, German biological
connections, and equally begin
cutting down basically, on your
bias for only white employees; similarly leading to prejudiced
stooges, and your burgeoning
quagmire of naturally feudally
mindset asinine advisors who
you William and Kate crucially
as the endemic racists, which
you repulsively are, distinctly
like having very close to you!
Possibly then and only then, Wills and Katherine, will your actually bogus words and distinctively
vile, fatuous proselytizing gestures
to basically attain that so distinctly and avidly craved relevance which
you're literally rather desperately after to basically, generate some
urgently needed credibility with
persons like me who clearly see
your existence, as undoubtedly
one that's literally and likewise
substantially crucially mired in
blatantly egregious ignorance
which all the same is patently
and most happily but equally
ludicrously ensconced in the unintelligent aura, of a crass Medieval mindset! Naturally
with yourselves William and
Kate clearly harbingers of a
Dark Ages history, quite far
removed from the era that
we are realistically living in,
which is a modern, literally
informative, 21st Century!
(C) Stanley V. Collymore
8 May 2022.
This contemporary poem was written purely from the perspective that I'm a bona fide, qualified journalist, not a hack, and the subject matter that I've commented on is a news story. Other than that what this utterly fatuous and uninteresting couple, their family members, likeminded friends and brownnosing fawners do with their discernibly pathetic, wholly meritless and thoroughly unfulfilling lives is a matter entirely of their own choosing and will only draw appropriate interest from me if their actions seriously, and also invariably with lives like their own, impact egregiously on the values that I distinctly fundamentally have and likewise attach great importance to.
That said, if clearly for self-evidently spurious, wholly self-servingly, quite liberally augmented with PR reasons William Windsor and his wife Katherine Middleton want to debunk the credibly plausible notion that the both of them are quite manifestly so, essentially elitist, racist and actually self-entitled, but none the less clearly want to quite disingenuously portray a bogus image of themselves for those who're evidently gullible enough to take that patronizing assertion of the two of them and avidly run with it; that's not a matter for me to grapple with but most categorically one for all their legions of idiots who're involved!
However, I'm most happy to literally accord to Kate and William their very fraudulently but all the same purportedly earnest wish, as I regularly do with everyone who is legally married, their accurate and proper designation, that in their case as they allegedly want to be regarded as ordinary folk without their - absurd and evidently to me - meaningless titles: Mr and Mrs William and Katherine Windsor!
As for the poem itself, it's pretty self-explanatory; and if your literacy skills and intellectual acumen aren't actually up to scratch, that's really your problem and not mine! As I most emphatically so, concentrated on my education and didn't pointlessly waste my time and energy patently pathetically, fawning over Medieval mindset nobodies!