deepundergroundpoetry.com
‘Twas Then ~
Silence…
Deafening…
silence.
Gazing round the room,
painted in hues of soft greens and Ballerina pink,
awaiting its new occupant.
Above the rocking chair,
Faerie tale Queens and galant Knights in shining armor
bow and dance amidst the border.
Smiling dolls
that sparkle and shine as they burp then speak
“I love you, mommy”
‘Twas then I smiled.
Bookcases brimming
with old tales and new stories to engage our reader
with adventures…and dreams.
Double doors open
to a world of high fashion ruffles and ribbons.
for our burgeoning shopper.
Nothing, nothing-
topped this world of illusion bigger or grander than the
mystical canopied crib.
Netted in tulle and lace
accented embroidered pillows and downy blankets.
To comfort in love, and safety.
‘‘Twas then I sighed.
Upon the delicate
hand painted step stool, of the moon and stars
rested a pair of pink slippers…
Miniature in size
and shaped to resemble two warm
and cuddly bunnies.
Just the style
our high end fashionista would select
trendsetting nighttime footwear.
‘Twas then I realized,
Our new occupant
would never embrace the warmth
of those sweet bunny slippers.
‘Twas then I wept.
Deafening…
silence.
Gazing round the room,
painted in hues of soft greens and Ballerina pink,
awaiting its new occupant.
Above the rocking chair,
Faerie tale Queens and galant Knights in shining armor
bow and dance amidst the border.
Smiling dolls
that sparkle and shine as they burp then speak
“I love you, mommy”
‘Twas then I smiled.
Bookcases brimming
with old tales and new stories to engage our reader
with adventures…and dreams.
Double doors open
to a world of high fashion ruffles and ribbons.
for our burgeoning shopper.
Nothing, nothing-
topped this world of illusion bigger or grander than the
mystical canopied crib.
Netted in tulle and lace
accented embroidered pillows and downy blankets.
To comfort in love, and safety.
‘‘Twas then I sighed.
Upon the delicate
hand painted step stool, of the moon and stars
rested a pair of pink slippers…
Miniature in size
and shaped to resemble two warm
and cuddly bunnies.
Just the style
our high end fashionista would select
trendsetting nighttime footwear.
‘Twas then I realized,
Our new occupant
would never embrace the warmth
of those sweet bunny slippers.
‘Twas then I wept.
Written by
Honoria
Published 14th Sep 2021
| Edited 24th Sep 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 26
reading list entries 15
comments 32
reads 742
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
- Edited 18th Nov 2021 8:45pm
14th Sep 2021 7:58am
<< post removed >>
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 4:26pm
Dear R,
Thank you so much. I really liked that you saw elements of a spooky nursery rhyme. Funny enough, nursery rhymes were mostly based on awful happenings. Hmm, reading what I just wrote sounds a bit macabre😳 but it’s still good😊
I am very grateful for your kind and thoughtful comments on this write and your well wishes. They mean the world to me. H🌷
Thank you so much. I really liked that you saw elements of a spooky nursery rhyme. Funny enough, nursery rhymes were mostly based on awful happenings. Hmm, reading what I just wrote sounds a bit macabre😳 but it’s still good😊
I am very grateful for your kind and thoughtful comments on this write and your well wishes. They mean the world to me. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 10:09am
Nice opening. Presents an echoing and layering of [Silence].
... A deep immersion into the setting, which deeply engaged the senses.
... Your words are so eloquent and soothing, yet stimulating. Like a breeze as magical movement.
... The ending just wonderful. Like the end of a perfectly structured path, leading to the sea:
Leaving something like sorrow, for the reader to ponder.
Most excellent.
... A deep immersion into the setting, which deeply engaged the senses.
... Your words are so eloquent and soothing, yet stimulating. Like a breeze as magical movement.
... The ending just wonderful. Like the end of a perfectly structured path, leading to the sea:
Leaving something like sorrow, for the reader to ponder.
Most excellent.
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
Dear CO,
In addition to thanking you for the RL add, I’m very taken and so appreciative of your kind and wonderfully generous comments.
This helps me to see if what I wrote makes any sense and I’m so grateful. Thank you for such lovely comments. H🌷
In addition to thanking you for the RL add, I’m very taken and so appreciative of your kind and wonderfully generous comments.
This helps me to see if what I wrote makes any sense and I’m so grateful. Thank you for such lovely comments. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 1:12pm
The room, the planning, the hopes and the sorrow are all so emotionally conveyed. Truly heartfelt
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 4:36pm
Dear NG,
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful insights. I am indebted to you for these comments. Thank you. H🌷
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful insights. I am indebted to you for these comments. Thank you. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 1:30pm
oh, goodness. i can't even imagine. you kept the reader going. even with all the blank space and short stanzas, this reads with the kind of urgency that makes you want to stop, because you know something bad is going to happen, but you just can't look away.
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 4:42pm
Dear DG,
Aahhh, gotcha with my anticipation traps! My job here is done.😊 And thank you for your keen insights. I’m glad it kept moving along. Bumpy reads can interrupt the story so I’m glad you made mention of its motion. Thank you always for your kind support. H🌷
Aahhh, gotcha with my anticipation traps! My job here is done.😊 And thank you for your keen insights. I’m glad it kept moving along. Bumpy reads can interrupt the story so I’m glad you made mention of its motion. Thank you always for your kind support. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 1:46pm
I was swept away with this Honoria.
"To comfort in love, and safety"
I love that!!
Beautifully done!!
I love how you build in quiet suspense.
Really swept away.
"To comfort in love, and safety"
I love that!!
Beautifully done!!
I love how you build in quiet suspense.
Really swept away.
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 4:45pm
Dear A,
I’m really thankful for your read and kind comments. I really appreciate the feedback to help me refine and grow in this process. Thank you again for these sweet and thoughtful remarks. H🌷
I’m really thankful for your read and kind comments. I really appreciate the feedback to help me refine and grow in this process. Thank you again for these sweet and thoughtful remarks. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 1:52pm
sweet and haunting. The details; how you pull us into a world only for it to come to a crashing halt, ripples of emotion follow. beautifully crafted around vulnerability, a lullaby turned tragic; and you navigate this so delicately, compassionately and artistically.
good luck on the comp; exceptional write!
good luck on the comp; exceptional write!
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 4:50pm
Dear U,
Thank you very much for your generous list add. Thank you very much for these wonderful observations in this poem. I really treasure these observations to fine tune this writing process. Your kind response and intuitive thoughts are a huge help and so appreciated.
Thank you. H🌷
Thank you very much for your generous list add. Thank you very much for these wonderful observations in this poem. I really treasure these observations to fine tune this writing process. Your kind response and intuitive thoughts are a huge help and so appreciated.
Thank you. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 4:03pm
I didn't see the end coming. It was such a warm setting leading us slowly to the twist. This read so sincerely.
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
14th Sep 2021 4:54pm
Dear S,
I’m so thankful for your kind and astute observations. In gratitude I appreciate your comment of how it read so sincerely. That was important to me. Thank you again for your lovely comments. H🌷
I’m so thankful for your kind and astute observations. In gratitude I appreciate your comment of how it read so sincerely. That was important to me. Thank you again for your lovely comments. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
15th Sep 2021 00:14am
*chefs kiss* this is seriously a really good piece, H. I was all in, stanza one and you never lost me through the entire piece.
I’m torn about reading this as a ghost story, or as a really heart wrenching piece about the loss of a child.
You’ve really outdone yourself and I’m here for it, sister! 🖤good luck in the comp!!
I’m torn about reading this as a ghost story, or as a really heart wrenching piece about the loss of a child.
You’ve really outdone yourself and I’m here for it, sister! 🖤good luck in the comp!!
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
15th Sep 2021 3:44am
Dear E,
As per, I’m really grateful for the nudge. I’m so appreciative of the generous RL add, and that it could be interpreted in a couple of ways by the reader is a bonus. Thank you very much for the well wishes and lovely comments. Xx
H🌷
As per, I’m really grateful for the nudge. I’m so appreciative of the generous RL add, and that it could be interpreted in a couple of ways by the reader is a bonus. Thank you very much for the well wishes and lovely comments. Xx
H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
15th Sep 2021 10:13pm
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
17th Sep 2021 3:48am
Dear L,
I’m glad this seems to read in more than one direction. Funny enough I only had one in mind. Thank you, as always, for your read and generous RL add. I’m very grateful. H🌷
I’m glad this seems to read in more than one direction. Funny enough I only had one in mind. Thank you, as always, for your read and generous RL add. I’m very grateful. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
16th Sep 2021 00:04am
Love this H, its the details that drew me in, so vivid as the image develops the ooof a gut punch to finish and one I wasnt expecting. well done and good luck in the comp. Best Keith
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
17th Sep 2021 3:55am
Dear RL,
I really appreciate your observations and thank you very much for your kind comments and best wishes. Wishing you the best in this comp as well! Thank you very much, once again. H🌷
I really appreciate your observations and thank you very much for your kind comments and best wishes. Wishing you the best in this comp as well! Thank you very much, once again. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
16th Sep 2021 5:25pm
Aww.... geez. That ending was crushing. I can hope that maybe it means there's just going to be a different occupant than anticipated, but... no, it's just sad. Beautiful job, with all those intimate details and such love woven throughout...
Bravo, this is amazing.
❤❤k
Bravo, this is amazing.
❤❤k
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
17th Sep 2021 4:03am
Dear K,
I think you can make as many alternate endings for this write as you please. I would. That’s what makes it fun.
Thank you so much for spotlighting the details. Sometimes I forget to include important features in writing and the meaning gets murky. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much for these lovely comments and support. Means the world. Xo H🌷
I think you can make as many alternate endings for this write as you please. I would. That’s what makes it fun.
Thank you so much for spotlighting the details. Sometimes I forget to include important features in writing and the meaning gets murky. I really appreciate that. Thank you so much for these lovely comments and support. Means the world. Xo H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
20th Sep 2021 4:38am
I was taken to a very-well preserved room, as though the pain of memory wouldn't allow it to be touched. Very well done, Honoria.
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
20th Sep 2021 10:19pm
Dear A,
Yes, that’s exactly where you were.
There are no words for this type of pain. Thank you very much for your insight and kind comment, and the RL add. They mean a lot to me. H🌷
Yes, that’s exactly where you were.
There are no words for this type of pain. Thank you very much for your insight and kind comment, and the RL add. They mean a lot to me. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
Hey there lovely lady :) .... I was slacking off and gone for this, I think...I can't believe I missed it Apologies for the late visit....
Your pen is the kind that when it's wielded, it's utterly extraordinary.... There's not much left to say that hasn't been said... I am in agreement with every single bit of it, too .... I just wanted to make it known that your poetic voice is one that I covet and marvel at, Honoria. I hope you realize the lovely impact you're able to impress upon your friends and readers here. I deeply deeply value each and every poem you create, because they're always so cleverly crafted, deliberate, unique and fresh.... I'm not pressuring you, I only want you to understand that you're abilities and talents, inspire me and keep me going. Aspiring me to try to be (almost) as intelligent, funny and artistic as you show us you are .... How that is absolutely possible, with every poem you publish.
This poem left me awed and picturing a closed off shrine of sorts... hauntingly sad and yet beautiful too....memories safely kept... harbored...
Much love and endless thanks for sharing your super powers with us 🙏🏻
*wink
🌹 - 💙
B
Your pen is the kind that when it's wielded, it's utterly extraordinary.... There's not much left to say that hasn't been said... I am in agreement with every single bit of it, too .... I just wanted to make it known that your poetic voice is one that I covet and marvel at, Honoria. I hope you realize the lovely impact you're able to impress upon your friends and readers here. I deeply deeply value each and every poem you create, because they're always so cleverly crafted, deliberate, unique and fresh.... I'm not pressuring you, I only want you to understand that you're abilities and talents, inspire me and keep me going. Aspiring me to try to be (almost) as intelligent, funny and artistic as you show us you are .... How that is absolutely possible, with every poem you publish.
This poem left me awed and picturing a closed off shrine of sorts... hauntingly sad and yet beautiful too....memories safely kept... harbored...
Much love and endless thanks for sharing your super powers with us 🙏🏻
*wink
🌹 - 💙
B
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
24th Sep 2021 2:02pm
Dear BV,
Yes, my super powers…well, being the intuitively gifted witch I am…NOT! 🙃
I’m literally gobsmacked by these gorgeous sentiments. Can I hire you to write my eulogy? I don’t think my friends and certainly not my family will sell my “charming” attributes like you can 😉
“Thank you” seems so inadequate a response to offer in view of a comment such as this. I can say you’ve kick started my day to one of light and love and self appreciation. I’m truly grateful. Thank you for your thoughtful and uplifting visit today. 😗Xo
H🌷
Yes, my super powers…well, being the intuitively gifted witch I am…NOT! 🙃
I’m literally gobsmacked by these gorgeous sentiments. Can I hire you to write my eulogy? I don’t think my friends and certainly not my family will sell my “charming” attributes like you can 😉
“Thank you” seems so inadequate a response to offer in view of a comment such as this. I can say you’ve kick started my day to one of light and love and self appreciation. I’m truly grateful. Thank you for your thoughtful and uplifting visit today. 😗Xo
H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
26th Sep 2021 7:18pm
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
27th Sep 2021 3:13am
Dear D,
Thank you so much for this comment and compliment. Your generous RL add is the sugar on top.
It’s just so great to see you back!
Thank you again. H🌷
Thank you so much for this comment and compliment. Your generous RL add is the sugar on top.
It’s just so great to see you back!
Thank you again. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
6th Oct 2021 7:04pm
Dear H,
This piece was both beautiful and haunting. You had me at every line!
This piece was both beautiful and haunting. You had me at every line!
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
7th Oct 2021 6:00am
Dear M,
Why thank you very much for this lovely comment and your generous RL add. I’m so happy to see you! I’m very grateful for your visit tonight. It’s cheered me to no end. Thank you. H🌷
Why thank you very much for this lovely comment and your generous RL add. I’m so happy to see you! I’m very grateful for your visit tonight. It’s cheered me to no end. Thank you. H🌷
Re. ‘Twas Then ~
15th Oct 2021 00:32am
You captured here something really wonderful, the imagery surrounding the magic of ballerina shoes, what it must take to wear them and perform in them. This is one of those works where I have to go back and read again, slowly, re-imagine through line like dreamy still pictures.
Bravo
Bravo
0
Re: Re. ‘Twas Then ~
15th Oct 2021 5:20am
Dear W,
I am humbled with gratitude by your thoughtfulness. It is always such a pleasure to see you and thank you very much for your generous RL add. You are kindness itself. Thank you again. H🌷
I am humbled with gratitude by your thoughtfulness. It is always such a pleasure to see you and thank you very much for your generous RL add. You are kindness itself. Thank you again. H🌷