deepundergroundpoetry.com
Still
My love was but a notion;
his shadow was bare.
He arose from the sweetest hurt
as I saw him shining there.
His voice was merely silent,
so much I barely heard
the melody my heart could play
as he uttered no words.
Yet high atop a grassy hill
my mind did run so wild;
his verdant voice was everywhere
and to this dream I held:
that where he waits, I too shall go
over rough terrain, deliberate, slow.
Each step I’ll find and make with ease
as kindly at my back a breeze.
Though this life is arduous,
‘tis every cup unfilled,
I wait alone, no dream unturned
or lost to my love;
I hear him still.
.....
his shadow was bare.
He arose from the sweetest hurt
as I saw him shining there.
His voice was merely silent,
so much I barely heard
the melody my heart could play
as he uttered no words.
Yet high atop a grassy hill
my mind did run so wild;
his verdant voice was everywhere
and to this dream I held:
that where he waits, I too shall go
over rough terrain, deliberate, slow.
Each step I’ll find and make with ease
as kindly at my back a breeze.
Though this life is arduous,
‘tis every cup unfilled,
I wait alone, no dream unturned
or lost to my love;
I hear him still.
.....
Author's Note
Entered in the love comp and Napowrimo 2021
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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Re. Still
3rd Apr 2021 1:16am
Re: Re. Still
3rd Apr 2021 3:09am
Re. Still
3rd Apr 2021 9:58am
This is a smooth and beautiful flow of well defined emotion. Excellent work
1
Re: Re. Still
4th Apr 2021 2:56am
Re. Still
4th Apr 2021 8:15pm
You have such a marriage of formal elegance with honest organic expression, the lilt of rhyme carries the storytelling with alacrity. The whole has a subtle emotional weft that is the soul of poetry.
1
Re: Re. Still
6th Apr 2021 6:01am
Thanks so much, friend, I'm so glad you liked it, sometimes I touch my buried heart in a moment and it comes out as a poem, I love the the full circle of that result, moments to be chronicled.. 💕
Re: Re. Still
8th Apr 2021 9:42pm
You're doing well with the NaPo challenge. I would probably write a 12 page poem some time in advance and dissect it into 30 pieces. 😅
1
Re: Re. Still
12th Apr 2021 4:55am
Thanks for the encouragement, friend, I actually am working on an epic in many parts and each is a single entry. I am going to reconstruct it at the end into one full piece so the whole thing can be read as one poem on my page :)
Re: Re. Still
13th Apr 2021 00:39am
Re. Still
4th May 2021 3:51am
Dear PR, this reads as a timeless classic and yet modern, relative to your experience.
It's a unique and wonderful entry for NaPoWriMo.
It's a unique and wonderful entry for NaPoWriMo.
1
Re: Re. Still
8th May 2021 6:15am
Thanks so much, this one just came to me and I think I wrote the whole thing in one sitting. It's funny how that happens sometimes and then I discovered the love comp by accident. It went in both comps.
Re. Still
Anonymous
6th May 2021 9:55pm
I lost track of what month it was and wondered if I was reading one of your Classic Corner entries. This was so polished! And haunting, as if spoken words being reverberating across a landscape in some paranormal fashion.
1
Re: Re. Still
8th May 2021 6:21am
I love the paranormal and it seeps into many of my poems sometimes in one or several lines, I like adding that extra effect too. Love is so elusive that it has that quality by nature. It can be a haunting experience. Thanks so much for the great comment :)
Re. Still
6th Aug 2021 2:10am
Excellent rhyme. Pretty uniform scheme as well. Almost ballad meter but for a little syllable variance. Great meter lending to a smooth flow. Wonderful wordplay Poet.
1
Re: Re. Still
12th Aug 2021 6:04am
Sometimes when I write a poem, it comes oul like a song rhythm. Great remarks, thanks so much for the helpful comment :)