Ending pain

You just want everything easy  
With no work towards the healing  
Just saying I'm sorry isn't enough for me  
from what you did to me  
 
It once was given freely  
Unconditionally  
And you were perfect to me  
But your not and thats what really hurts  
I thought you were  
But you're not my hope  
I'm crying then laughing its all a cruel joke  
Your sorrow is depressing  
Eating at our love you speak  
Breaking me  
You have no care for me or my feelings  
Its always about you and what you can be  
I'm unacknowledged and never appreciated fully  
I don't even think you love me  
How could you do this to me  
Then sit there while my heart bleeds  
And try to blame me for you being  cowardly  
Making excuses for your savagery  
Would you like it if I gave you the same treat?
I need to see  
Compassion consistency
Understanding  
Sacrificial  
Show me you'll bleed  
Actually give something up for me  
Stop something you do to hurt me  
But you're so caught up in  
What I should do  
For you  
I don't owe you  
The knifes in my back you tool  
Get a fucking clue  
I have to heal from this wound  
Before I can forgive you  
Each day tho you show me I'm nothing to you
I get comfortable being further and further away from you  
I have made mistakes  
Terrible ones  
And One of my biggest is you  
I wish I never  
I should of never  
Trusted you  
Even after my gut
 warned me not to  
My dumbass still  trusted you
Really I'm the fool  
For believing you loved me  
Like you say you do