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deepundergroundpoetry.com
Not so Black Friday
I'm intoxicated; I wanna hit
A nice fine girl to suck my dick.
A sloppy bj with lots of spit.
It's cold outside but my arms are warm.
Like memory foam to fit your form.
An unselfish lover that wants your moans.
A determined fucker that'll make you groan.
Inebriated fornication
Dual enjoyment: recreation
I'll submit as summation
You submit to my dictation
I'll leave as final remark
In the morning if you smart
I'll be over to rub your box
And make our night restart ;)
A nice fine girl to suck my dick.
A sloppy bj with lots of spit.
It's cold outside but my arms are warm.
Like memory foam to fit your form.
An unselfish lover that wants your moans.
A determined fucker that'll make you groan.
Inebriated fornication
Dual enjoyment: recreation
I'll submit as summation
You submit to my dictation
I'll leave as final remark
In the morning if you smart
I'll be over to rub your box
And make our night restart ;)
Published 25th Nov 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
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comments 9
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
25th Nov 2017 9:59am
As poem states I'm inebriated, so it's probably not best work, but I'm sober enough to craft and post; have at it and ravage it if you so desire.
26th Nov 2017 6:23am
I have learned through the years, an argument with alcohol, is a futile effort.
I will however acknowledge your comment on your own work.
My "Honest Critique" as requested.
I will however acknowledge your comment on your own work.
My "Honest Critique" as requested.
26th Nov 2017 1:56pm
26th Nov 2017 5:58pm
To me, when one is under the influence of an intoxicant, seldom are they open to intelligent debate, (myself included), for they have given up their ability to do so to the intoxicant. My initial comment referred to your statement of "possibly not my best work".
As to the poem itself, I found it well written, hence I believe you were inebriated just enough to lose some inhibition yet not so much as to lose all, which I feel is when the true self is revealed.
As to the poem itself, I found it well written, hence I believe you were inebriated just enough to lose some inhibition yet not so much as to lose all, which I feel is when the true self is revealed.
27th Nov 2017 2:35pm
I must be an exception. I engage, debate, and can be persuaded while intoxicated; although, my output language is muddled. Ah, even sober I think it's not my best nor better work.
Thank you. I try to avoid that level of drunkenness.
Thank you. I try to avoid that level of drunkenness.
29th Nov 2017 2:27am
good write. It seems to show a side of you that yet we all have. having desires such as and showing with no trepidation.
29th Nov 2017 8:39am
28th Dec 2017 11:54pm
You must have been feeling very confident that night? Very different, I must say. Quinn
30th Dec 2017 8:28pm
