Today I wrote a poem I thought the release would be healthy It makes me feel productive Other times, downright cheerful I now know that poetry reaches a void. Medicine also helps, but expression fills holes. Poetry allows me to seal time fissures. Iím feeling uplifted.
I thought I left you in my past. I thought you were my past. But now it is the present and you're a present I want sent back. I'm erratic so dramatic that it's mellow. I can't be my normal yellow fellow who's bright like the Sun with you keeping me undone. I'm chewed up like the gum I'm anxiously masticating hoping almost praying
A small bottle of pills. Is the difference between a neurotic, dysfunctional, semi-coherent mess and me.
Of course it's true. I'm a better me with you. More people like me. I have ease with poetry. I can be the life of the party as opposed to a ball of anxiety. I feel less paltry. I am more ballsy. More importantly, I like me for once.
I don't think. I just am. I'm in the moment. I seek no atonement. I have no history. I'm just me.
I can't be me. † I am nobody. † What does it even mean † to be? † I have desires thoughts and wants † that all change faster than one who's wont. † All I ever want to be is me † Unless that means reality. † I don't want to be in my head. † † I could be in yours. † Swim in your endless shores. † There I know that I am sure. † I can burrow deep and reach what others cannot teach. † † I wouldn't have to think † just sink into every kink † that I pulled from your mind † † As I avoid...
While enjoying a Cowboy Bebop marathon, my brother and I crossed swords when I suggested a character was being illogical. †The character attests that she left another character †(in as painfully a way as possible, but that's irrelevant) †because he was always right. I cannot see how intentionally making a decision to be wrong and do wrong is a logical choice. I cannot wrap my mind around the concept of explicitly ignoring the wisdom and mistakes of others, especially as a logical path. I cannot discuss with my brother because he can only cross swords--never exchange ideas. Typically, I would...