deepundergroundpoetry.com
Rubber Band
Falling out again.
Spewing venomous words.
In a last effort to see--
who I can hurt before they hurt me.
A tension growing inside--
the frontal lobe of my mind.
I want take the ice pick and shove in my eye.
It cause me to be both--
Numb & Dumb
Healed & Blind.
Self-diagnosis, self-medicating.
Take the pain, the tension, the rupturing pain away.
Take it out with a bang.
Like a shotgun, back of the head-- No pain, no gain.
The end, shut it all out before it's too late.
Too late--
It's too late--
It's winding, tighter and tighter.
Tighter and tighter still.
I want to be better.
Stop saying mean things.
Stop aggravating me.
Stop pushing me to my limit.
I have one--
It doesn't matter how many months it's been.
Or who you are--
Mother
Father
Friend
Boyfriend
The only one whose been saved from my rage.
This demonic manifestation locked inside of a cage.
Is my son, he is the only one.
Too small to push me to the point that I snap.
And as he gets older, I hope, beg and pray.
That it never, ever comes to that.
Cause that's the day I will end my life.
The day I rise a hand to my child.
But for now the tension grows.
The mental strain rises.
And I try to tell you to stop.
Tears sliding down my cheeks.
I tell you to "Shut up!"
Do you really think I'm saying it for my health?
I'm saying it for yours-- Not mine.
You're the one in danger.
You're the one that'll get hurt.
And what does that gain?
The statifaction of having another bruise on your arm--
Another mark to associate with my name.
But still you keep going.
And the tension keeps winding.
Winding and winding.
Tighter and tighter.
Keep going--
C'mon--
Bring it on--
You brought this on yourself.
I tried to warn you.
Tried to get you to understand.
That you have to stop tightening my anger.
Because eventually it can't be tightened anymore.
Don't you understand?
If you keep tightening something that can't be wound--
It won't be you laughing at the end.
Why don't you understand?
That you can only tighten it so far.
Until finally--
You snap the rubber band.
Spewing venomous words.
In a last effort to see--
who I can hurt before they hurt me.
A tension growing inside--
the frontal lobe of my mind.
I want take the ice pick and shove in my eye.
It cause me to be both--
Numb & Dumb
Healed & Blind.
Self-diagnosis, self-medicating.
Take the pain, the tension, the rupturing pain away.
Take it out with a bang.
Like a shotgun, back of the head-- No pain, no gain.
The end, shut it all out before it's too late.
Too late--
It's too late--
It's winding, tighter and tighter.
Tighter and tighter still.
I want to be better.
Stop saying mean things.
Stop aggravating me.
Stop pushing me to my limit.
I have one--
It doesn't matter how many months it's been.
Or who you are--
Mother
Father
Friend
Boyfriend
The only one whose been saved from my rage.
This demonic manifestation locked inside of a cage.
Is my son, he is the only one.
Too small to push me to the point that I snap.
And as he gets older, I hope, beg and pray.
That it never, ever comes to that.
Cause that's the day I will end my life.
The day I rise a hand to my child.
But for now the tension grows.
The mental strain rises.
And I try to tell you to stop.
Tears sliding down my cheeks.
I tell you to "Shut up!"
Do you really think I'm saying it for my health?
I'm saying it for yours-- Not mine.
You're the one in danger.
You're the one that'll get hurt.
And what does that gain?
The statifaction of having another bruise on your arm--
Another mark to associate with my name.
But still you keep going.
And the tension keeps winding.
Winding and winding.
Tighter and tighter.
Keep going--
C'mon--
Bring it on--
You brought this on yourself.
I tried to warn you.
Tried to get you to understand.
That you have to stop tightening my anger.
Because eventually it can't be tightened anymore.
Don't you understand?
If you keep tightening something that can't be wound--
It won't be you laughing at the end.
Why don't you understand?
That you can only tighten it so far.
Until finally--
You snap the rubber band.
Published 21st Dec 2013
| Edited 22nd Feb 2014
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 2
reading list entries 1
comments 2
reads 766
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
21st Dec 2013 7:39am
This brilliant. The perfect combination of high and low modality brings out the the real tension and I could feel myself getting physically angry while reading. It has a fast pace and the count and stresses match the tone of the subject. The extended metaphor adds to already visceral imagery, causing a real and physical reaction to the reader. This, this is perfect.
21st Dec 2013 11:55pm
Thank you, I wanted it to be the exact moment of desperation when I know I'm losing my temper and I am trying as hard as I can to hold it back but people around me keep pushing me and pushing me until I snap.
Thank you for the comment though and for adding it to your reading list.
- Paige Rider.
Thank you for the comment though and for adding it to your reading list.
- Paige Rider.
