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Poetry competition CLOSED 25th November 2022 8:21pm
WINNER
Razzerleaf
View Profile Poems by Razzerleaf
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RUNNERS-UP: jIMNUT_rOARIN and robert43041

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Delightfully bonkers #5: November

Wafflenose
Wafflenose
Ellie
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom
14awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 1st Aug 2021
Forum Posts: 942

Poetry Contest

Out-weird each other!
Welcome to the regular slot for all things illogical, crazy, wrong and stupid. We've had word play, soliloquy, the universe tipped on its head, laws according to mankind, weird ghosts and goodness knows what else.

No rules. Weirdest wins - bonus points if you make me laugh.

XiaoLong
XiaoLong
Thought Provoker
6awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 25th Jan 2019
Forum Posts: 82

Candles of Darkness

unknown for years,  
unknown was the matter,
fuck all to that tears,
nothing is ever in tatters!
 
I saw a glow in her face,
excitement of a buxom beauty,  
she’s seems to be open to taste,
the randomness of a forbidden cutie.
 
pleasure and pain, goes together,
flying north, like birds of a feather,
knowing you for hours, the juices flowing faster,
chemistry a true factor, when fucking it gets better!
 
an swingthat cutie with hard long eyes,  
blondish hair, I long for a whiskey with style,
skimpily clad, her midriff sexily exposing,  
listen to my eyes, them bosoms are tempting!
 
“Babe from the nomad verse…I feel you,
I want you to know, you’ve left my balls blue,
only if you’d feel the presence of the real me,  
in the presence of others, holy fuck, you’ll see!”
 
it blows me the fuck out of my mind,
Umm..I bet she’s spectacular from behind,
her fucking body, a divine temple enshrined,
her curves are heavenly, I rather not be kind!
 
for years i definitely was beholden,
the wild bushes of pleasure’s dome,
the native women in a forbidden tavern,
waxed pussies, shaping em’ desirously home.
 
oh fuck! a banter is such an experience,  
god! the brain rush was almost intelligence,
add endorphin, serotonin and oxytocin,
top it with dose of dopamine, and fuck yes! i love to sin!
 
she’s such a desirous temptress,
glowing like a nomadic enchantress,
wishes that she strides a throbbing hardness,
letting out a gust of air, blowing out them candles of darkness!
 
Written by XiaoLong
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robert43041
robert43041
Viking
Tyrant of Words
Canada
30awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 30th July 2020
Forum Posts: 558

Straight

She was totally straight
In her mind, in her life, in her deed.
Refused to bend
(To the displeasure of her boyfriend)
One day, on the road at the wheel of her
Fabulous crimson red Jaguar convertible
Straight as usual, but one small, tiny pleasure
She refused to give up was to indulge in a bit of speeding
Even on country roads where farmers rules.
Too late, after the bend, she saw the small moving truck,
Hit it, stuff flew out
And she was immediately covered
With a load of cow manure.
Written by robert43041 (Viking)
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Rew
Rew
Twisted Dreamer
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Joined 30th Sep 2022
Forum Posts: 17

Like a ikle boy.

Are you in yet? What? You are...
Well! You might've said,
hang on a mo' my cigarette...
Don't wanna get hot ash, on your bald head.

Hmm, the ceiling needs a lick o' paint,
have you finished yet? I need to pee
hurry up then I can't wait,
"...go before? " Coz you're quick, see?

Just a sec... a sip, from my cup...
You didn't stir my tea you chump!
O crumbs, now what's up?
Do get on with it you wimp!

Can't you do something 'bout these springs
they do so make such a squeaky noise,
whatd'yermean " just keep still?"
coo, you've shrunk, like a ikle boy...
Written by Rew
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Jordan
Jordan
D.O.C.
Twisted Dreamer
United States
5awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 4th May 2022
Forum Posts: 43

Heart of Kudzu

"The universe is an implacable force sans any intention period."                                      
                                                                 -- Physics 101, Lesson 1: "The Horror!  The Horror!"
 
*
 
In Dixie, all us kin with kinfolk breed,
like that ol' weed -- a funny kind o' stuff --
that got a thing like us for its own seed,
and like us keeps a-seedin' plenty 'nough;
while like my cousin Sissy it be tough,
what with it havin' likewise one queer name,
and like my first true love, my brother Buff,
it climbs on any hind or rotted game;
while like my Granny Moo, my second flame,
it ain't but dumber than a cow's patoot,
and like my pee-pee here it got no aim,
or for a rubber gives a dadgum hoot;
why, that ol' weed cain't even THINK right clear --
like Pa on gettin' stuck up Granny's rear.
 
*
 
a dedication of Respect
for
the Pain inflicted
by a cosmos
sans consciousness
 
a revolving helios sonnet spenserian satire menippean
 
november, 2022 -- the universe reduced still
countless quantum particles of force moving countless quantum particles of matter
throughout the void
Written by Jordan (D.O.C.)
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Afterglow
Afterglow
Afterglow Poetry
Strange Creature
United States
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Joined 9th Nov 2022
Forum Posts: 4

Normality Is Not My Formality

Normality,
Is not my formality.
I’m far too mad,
From all of my maladies.
My mind has been split,
Into several realities.
I’m multidimensional;
Which explains my mentalities.
Synesthete-
I can see tonalities.
Circus Freak-
They beat me with brutalities.
It must be neat-
Living in their practicalities.
They don’t know-
That I can read through their modalities.
Written by Afterglow (Afterglow Poetry)
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Imhide82
Imhide82
Heidi
Strange Creature
United States
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Joined 8th Nov 2022
Forum Posts: 1

Bugs

Bugs over here.
Bugs over there.
Everywhere I turn, BUGS BUGS BUGS.
Some you can squash, some you can spray
Most just get in the way.
Most lurk in the night, Some stay out all day.
They crawl on your things looking for treats.
You find them in your shoes, waiting to tickle your feet.
They're creepy and they're crawly, you feel em in your bed. Dare to rest your head?
You close your eyes, to imagine them gone. Only...SURPRISE, they're staring with their beady little eyes.
You flick em, and smash em, and create a little dance. Some run, some jump, but scurry they must. If I dare see one, I'll spray it and smoosh it, crumble it to dust.
Bugs over here.
Bugs over there.
Everywhere I turn, Bugs Bugs Bugs.
Written by Imhide82 (Heidi)
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CasketSharpe
CasketSharpe
Tyrant of Words
United States
12awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 12th June 2013
Forum Posts: 113

Jesus Fucking Christ

 “It’s a thought that has crossed many people’s mind  
Unthinkable, because he’s sin free and divine,  
“But I’m here to give you my thought on something  
What if Jesus was straight fucking?  

 “To keep the masses occupied, changing water to wine  
He would be somewhere getting on his bump and grind,  
 “Creating a magical barrier of silence so she wouldn’t make a sound  
Then a short prayer over the pussy, before he start to pound,  
 
 “Just like he put spit on eyes to cure the blind  
It worked just as good on pussy when doggystyle from behind,  
 “And the woman who he meet at the well  
Cured her of her bleeding sickness-now ass for him she sell,  
 
 “Thou without sin cast the first stone  
Shit he will be thinking while chased from another woman’s home,  
 “The Lord saying ‘Thou didn’t send thee to Earth for thy shit’  
All over thy land he’s slangeth unholy dick’.
 
 
 “Privately raising fine bitches from the dead  
And for resurrection payment it was pussy, head and a warm bed,  
 “Not only for him, but his whole crew  
Twelve mutherfuckin deep they gang-banged pussy until they were through,  
 
 “Any pussy fucked-out and smelled like fish  
With a head nod it tightened right up and the stank he would easily dismiss,  
 “Because he would ride ass like he rode a donkey  
Without grace or mercy until it was creampied and funky,  
 
 “And don’t let me get started about the last supper  
It would be a straight pussy party up in the motherfucker,  
 “Spilling out into the streets causing a city wide riot  
Arrested and butt-naked waiting for judgment by Pontius Pilate,    
 
 “Even dying would not stop his pussy play  
Because he would be back on it on the third day,  
 “Getting it in and Armageddon fucking to the end  
Until, into heaven it was his time to ascend”.
Written by CasketSharpe
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ReggiePoet
ReggiePoet
Reggie
Fire of Insight
28awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 13th May 2018
Forum Posts: 346

Boring

sapphic stanzas
  
Standing on the side of a bridge, he shouted
Hate for all the world he had once so touted.
“Suicide is best,” he no longer doubted,
“Life is too boring…”
   
Cloying losers, all of his “friends” were humdrum
Lifeless stodgy people, he could not become
One of their kind, better to die and be done
With all of their shit.  
   
As he stood there, thinking about his trouble,
He was asked for money, a hungry hobo—  
Who he made to listen, befuddled. Hobo
Pushed him right over!  
   
Written by ReggiePoet (Reggie)
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Kou_Indigo
Kou_Indigo
Kara Lucielle Pythiana
Dangerous Mind
United States
64awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 15th Sep 2011
Forum Posts: 2660

The Temple of the Soul

- The Temple of the Soul -

In the temple of the soul,
Where the wind, she starts to blow…
Two priestesses with robes so white,
Sing the song that welcomes the night.
Talk about time, talk about rhyme,
Talking about the universe, sublime!

The king in crimson came to the party,
Dancing the night away…
All his court, they sang oh so hearty,
Dancing ‘till the light of day!

In the temple of the soul,
Watch the torches flickering so low…
My priestess sang, your priestess rang,
They made the song that eases the pain.
Talk about ease, talk about peace,
Talking about making troubles cease!

The queen in jade came to the party,
Singing the night away…
All her court, they danced so hearty,
Singing ‘till the light of day!

In the temple of the soul,
Where the flags, they are a-flying so…
Two priestesses with robes so white,
They set the flags to burn with delight.
Talk about desire, talk about fire,
Talking about the time to perspire!

The prince in azure came to the party,
Laughing the night away…
All his court, they laughed so hearty,
Laughing ‘till the light of day!

In the temple of the soul,
Where the party is all out of control…
Two priestesses with robes so white,
They joined the party, ending the rite.
Talk about time, talk about rhyme,
Talking about the universe, sublime!

The princess in jet came to the party,
As the night ran away…
All her court, they were oh so hearty,
Fading in the light of day!
Written by Kou_Indigo (Kara Lucielle Pythiana)
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SloopyMcFloopy
SloopyMcFloopy
Strange Creature
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Joined 26th Oct 2020
Forum Posts: 1

Beer and Men

When I drink a beer it’s almost always a Budweiser, just as my friend once said, bud open it wider.

But every so often, I enjoy a Guinness, because that’s when Ken’s girth likes to be in us.

When Kyle and I have a corona, it’s always ends with some glass in my bona’.

White claws and Truleys in my heart tug a cord, because when Bruce and I get frisky a white cock truly gets gored.

Heineken beers really make Mark’s body shine within, it’s a god damn shame I can’t tongue is hind again.

But that’s when I grab a nice cold busch, then I grab me a bear and let him give my balls a mush.

Once in a blue moon, I grab me a blue moon, to spike it, swipe it, to grab some unconscious coon dude poon.

Then I rinse away the memories with a nice refreshing coors light, go out to the bar, take a shit, don’t wipe, then convince my friend Ben, to eat me out, dap up, then call it a night.
Written by SloopyMcFloopy
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jIMNUT_rOARIN
jIMNUT_rOARIN
Fire of Insight
Canada
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Joined 13th Mar 2014
Forum Posts: 43

4r5tuyhhuyjntfrgvuyjh7fgrtv yhuj  8978(*&%& (No Vem Bore BotBrainDrain Mowl Fun-KChin)

foople woople cough gawff you're sent off
the embalmer's sin with the runny widow's grin

and under the arch decays
of empires' shadow and crumble
there go blinks of light, whoops o wind
blast of devastation hair sideways

did you even hear the radio
did you even care

thousand animals panic and flee
nerves root out zillioning quick and harsh
to the disfrabricing eyes laying too still
incapable of erase

guess we're dead, rattle one halfpill
close the windows, power down
and throw the latest shoe pebble
through the gyp pocked wall

it's been done, as always
but the covers feel well
the exert still wert' it

kittennn drurrrr and puppppie fart
some disease malfortune
tallied up and returned ok

Angel thin resemblance
before the surgery's blank
Written by jIMNUT_rOARIN
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Razzerleaf
Razzerleaf
Fire of Insight
United Kingdom
20awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 15th Sep 2019
Forum Posts: 404

Put your keys in the opal fruit bowl

It was one of those parties
everyone was juiced
and all the wrappers
were slowly coming off.

Four pairs of cherry lips
were all over some candy cigarette
who was claiming to be a footballer,
said he had a card to prove it.
Dolly Mixture had arrived with Mint Imperial
but she said he was too smooth
for his own good and left him
for three chocolate mice,
that had been pretending to be blind
in the ladies toilets.
Dolly looked great in her strawberry lace
holding up her whips,
the mice giggled every time they saw the walnut.

A couple of old fruit pastels were watching
a lion at the bar and feeling brave
asked him for a lick of his nuts.
He said you two are sweet
meet me upstairs in ten but be discrete
I have a reputation to keep.
So they tied him to the bed
and took pictures of his chewy centre.

Things began to melt,
liquorice wheels started to unwind
spreading themselves around the room.
A gang of 'A' sexual Gummy bears
had popped a tube of smarties
and were getting fresh with some polo mints
using liquorice torpedoes as strap-ons.

Oh I cant cope with this cried a fruit gum
who had been following a big stick of rock
that was so drunk he could only say Blackpool,
the fruit gum took that as yes.

Pear drops were shakin that ass on the dance floor
watch by a toffee apple that was rotten to the core
more drinks lads she asked, tipping sherbet
into the Tizer that made their bulls eyes pop.
Stick with me boys I want them lolipops.

The cellophane rustling got so loud,
that the false teeth arrived to break it all up
fortunately they kept falling out,
and more cherry lips put a stain on there collar.

An Everton mint had been hiding on a striped rug
claimed he was a vicar, showed them his dog collar
and said your all going to swell, smell, Hell ! then he fell,
put a crack in his shell,
and that was the only encouragement
the gummy bears needed.
Written by Razzerleaf
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EdibleWords
EdibleWords
Tyrant of Words
8awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 7th Jan 2018
Forum Posts: 2893

Groveling Grandiosity

Jacob wrestled an Angel
I wrestled men
with tiny questions
and a quavering voice

So vast and so mighty
yet somehow constrained
in earthquake
thunder and lightning

yet with a whisper
I speak
and you listen
Written by EdibleWords
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Wafflenose
Wafflenose
Ellie
Dangerous Mind
United Kingdom
14awards   profile   poems   message
Joined 1st Aug 2021
Forum Posts: 942

Well done, you weirdos!

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