Put your keys in the opal fruit bowl

It was one of those parties
everyone was juiced
and all the wrappers
were slowly coming off.

Four pairs of cherry lips
were all over some candy cigarette
who was claiming to be a footballer,
said he had a card to prove it.
Dolly Mixture had arrived with Mint Imperial
but she said he was too smooth
for his own good and left him
for three chocolate mice,
that had been pretending to be blind
in the ladies toilets.
Dolly looked great in her strawberry lace
holding up her whips,
the mice giggled every time they saw the walnut.

A couple of old fruit pastels were watching
a lion at the bar and feeling brave
asked him for a lick of his nuts.
He said you two are sweet
meet me upstairs in ten but be discrete
I have a reputation to keep.
So they tied him to the bed
and took pictures of his chewy centre.

Things began to melt,
liquorice wheels started to unwind
spreading themselves around the room.
A gang of 'A' sexual Gummy bears
had popped a tube of smarties
and were getting fresh with some polo mints
using liquorice torpedoes as strap-ons.

Oh I cant cope with this cried a fruit gum
who had been following a big stick of rock
that was so drunk he could only say Blackpool,
the fruit gum took that as yes.

Pear drops were shakin that ass on the dance floor
watch by a toffee apple that was rotten to the core
more drinks lads she asked, tipping sherbet
into the Tizer that made their bulls eyes pop.
Stick with me boys I want them lolipops.

The cellophane rustling got so loud,
that the false teeth arrived to break it all up
fortunately they kept falling out,
and more cherry lips put a stain on there collar.

An Everton mint had been hiding on a striped rug
claimed he was a vicar, showed them his dog collar
and said your all going to swell, smell, Hell ! then he fell,
put a crack in his shell,
and that was the only encouragement
the gummy bears needed.