Funny Poetry
#funny
Funny poems to make you laugh. Here you'll find all persuasions of poetic comedy, jokes and humour. This is the place for poetry which doesn't take itself too seriously!
wallyroo92
Poem Published
2nd Feb 2025 1:33am
2nd Feb 2025 1:33am
Spread Your Eggs for Me
#food
#funny
#unicorns
99 reads
3 Comments
Kinkwizard_95
Poem Published
1st Feb 2025 11:55am
1st Feb 2025 11:55am
Deviant slut (A lil limerick)
There once was a deviant slut
Except she was stuck in a rut
With no man to shag and
She can’t shag her dad
Her favourite sport went caput!
There once was a deviant slut
A collection of toys up her butt
Some gas did arise
It caught her surprise
Her sweet derrière did erupt!
There once was a deviant slut
No place could she ever be put
No rope tied her down
Always clowning around
I guess we best all wish her luck!
Except she was stuck in a rut
With no man to shag and
She can’t shag her dad
Her favourite sport went caput!
There once was a deviant slut
A collection of toys up her butt
Some gas did arise
It caught her surprise
Her sweet derrière did erupt!
There once was a deviant slut
No place could she ever be put
No rope tied her down
Always clowning around
I guess we best all wish her luck!
#BDSM
#erotic
#funny
#rhyming
#sex
125 reads
1 Comment
PunkPoe
Poem Published
1st Feb 2025 10:31am
1st Feb 2025 10:31am
The Joker's Rulebook
"Joker's Rulebook"
I'm the Joker who laughs hysterically
Footsteps of a murderer incessantly
I make you all the jokes of the day
Yes that's right fall down as my prey
My voice echoes your ears until deft
A slicing tongue leaves your mind cleft
Glistening bullets charge from my gun
My wikked ways are webs I have spun
Roars into a hypnotic trance of silence
I have a dream,it's filled with violence
No living soul safe from deadly wrath
No stones unturned it's simple math
Make up on my face...
I'm the Joker who laughs hysterically
Footsteps of a murderer incessantly
I make you all the jokes of the day
Yes that's right fall down as my prey
My voice echoes your ears until deft
A slicing tongue leaves your mind cleft
Glistening bullets charge from my gun
My wikked ways are webs I have spun
Roars into a hypnotic trance of silence
I have a dream,it's filled with violence
No living soul safe from deadly wrath
No stones unturned it's simple math
Make up on my face...
#dark
#evil
#funny #horror
#funny #horror
71 reads
0 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
1st Feb 2025 00:41am
1st Feb 2025 00:41am
Friendship For Dummies
Have you ever had a gun in your face,
And saw your friends freeze?
The reason there's a gun in your face,
Is because your friend doesn't tell you things
Why did he bring a gun?
Because he was angry, for a moment?
He's way too nice.
Why did he leave my window open?
To get the gun?
He was way too high.
Why did he apologize?
He didn't try to jump infront of the gun.
Why did he try to act like,
He was actually my friend?
Or are friends just jokes?
Is that why we laugh so much?
Cuz when there's a gun...
And saw your friends freeze?
The reason there's a gun in your face,
Is because your friend doesn't tell you things
Why did he bring a gun?
Because he was angry, for a moment?
He's way too nice.
Why did he leave my window open?
To get the gun?
He was way too high.
Why did he apologize?
He didn't try to jump infront of the gun.
Why did he try to act like,
He was actually my friend?
Or are friends just jokes?
Is that why we laugh so much?
Cuz when there's a gun...
#funny
54 reads
6 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
31st Jan 2025 11:01pm
31st Jan 2025 11:01pm
Fun Times
Once upon a time,
Some guy stalked me everyday at school, and after school.
He'd always clean for me and give me massages.
He asked me out all the time.
I always said no.
And laughed.
Then he found someone else, and stalked her.
And I found a new stalker.
He saved me from the rapists.
He gave me everything for free,
Including my friends.
But he was a drug dealer.
And he got caught finally lol.
And then he disappeared.
So I keep getting new stalkers,
And they keep doing nice things.
Especially my...
Some guy stalked me everyday at school, and after school.
He'd always clean for me and give me massages.
He asked me out all the time.
I always said no.
And laughed.
Then he found someone else, and stalked her.
And I found a new stalker.
He saved me from the rapists.
He gave me everything for free,
Including my friends.
But he was a drug dealer.
And he got caught finally lol.
And then he disappeared.
So I keep getting new stalkers,
And they keep doing nice things.
Especially my...
#funny
46 reads
4 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
30th Jan 2025 12:22pm
30th Jan 2025 12:22pm
Not Quite A Hamadryad
Last Christmas
I considered
Wearing a small christmas tree
On my head!
So i could declare
"Look!"
"The christmas tree
Is on top of the fairy
This year!"
But didn't!
by Jemia
I considered
Wearing a small christmas tree
On my head!
So i could declare
"Look!"
"The christmas tree
Is on top of the fairy
This year!"
But didn't!
by Jemia
#Christmas
#fairies
#funny #satirical
#funny #satirical
37 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
30th Jan 2025 12:06pm
30th Jan 2025 12:06pm
Love Is In The Heir!
Valentines Day
Is a very special day
For me this year
I'm kind of looking forward to it
And much good cheer
For upon this day
I receive my monthly pension pay!
How very romantic...well not exactly
However
My pension
Has proffered
To take me out on a date
And said it will pay!
As long as it's not
On Valentines Day
by Jemia
Is a very special day
For me this year
I'm kind of looking forward to it
And much good cheer
For upon this day
I receive my monthly pension pay!
How very romantic...well not exactly
However
My pension
Has proffered
To take me out on a date
And said it will pay!
As long as it's not
On Valentines Day
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #ValentinesDay
#satirical #ValentinesDay
55 reads
0 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 8:03pm
29th Jan 2025 8:03pm
Feminism
When you allow an entire team of guys,
To manipulate you,
Into harassing another female.
And you wonder why she laughs at you,
And won't be your friend,
Or friends with the people,
You call friends,
Who clearly aren't your friends.
You were just too stupid to notice.
It's nice to see you,
Finally get what's coming to you.
I'm sure your "friends"
Are so upset,
They spend more time with me now. Lol
To manipulate you,
Into harassing another female.
And you wonder why she laughs at you,
And won't be your friend,
Or friends with the people,
You call friends,
Who clearly aren't your friends.
You were just too stupid to notice.
It's nice to see you,
Finally get what's coming to you.
I'm sure your "friends"
Are so upset,
They spend more time with me now. Lol
#funny
57 reads
5 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 7:05pm
29th Jan 2025 7:05pm
Antisocial Sociopath
People with vaginas have lower IQ's.
They actually waste time trying to be my friend.
FOR YEARS!
Stressing over nothing.
Idiocracy.
wow, so smart.
It's like they never learn.
I have a vagina and I learned,
That dicks go in them.
Now I'm happy.
:D
They actually waste time trying to be my friend.
FOR YEARS!
Stressing over nothing.
Idiocracy.
wow, so smart.
It's like they never learn.
I have a vagina and I learned,
That dicks go in them.
Now I'm happy.
:D
#funny
#TruthOfLife
67 reads
12 Comments
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 1:53am
29th Jan 2025 1:53am
Revenge of the Fembots
When I was a kid
I wanted to write
a sequel to Levin’s
The Stepford Wives wherein
the wives would gain
fresh sentience
and calibrate
their private parts
to pulverise
their husband’s bits
like so much sausage meat
blended to mush.
Quite how I would
have executed this
I do not know,
but genius in youth
is not at all
times practical.
I wanted to write
a sequel to Levin’s
The Stepford Wives wherein
the wives would gain
fresh sentience
and calibrate
their private parts
to pulverise
their husband’s bits
like so much sausage meat
blended to mush.
Quite how I would
have executed this
I do not know,
but genius in youth
is not at all
times practical.
#funny
45 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
That They're There
Me, and my ears
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Jan 2025 4:53pm
28th Jan 2025 4:53pm
The Shape Of It All
If
I were to be a shape
Then i would be a circle
As i love to get around
And have a ball
And be a balloon
Whoevers heard of square balloons?
Then again
Not many round kites around
Aeroplanes, and missiles
Are more pointy, and phallic shaped
So i'll stick with being a circle
Or perhaps a Myriagon!
(a 10,000 sided polygon!)
by Jemia
I were to be a shape
Then i would be a circle
As i love to get around
And have a ball
And be a balloon
Whoevers heard of square balloons?
Then again
Not many round kites around
Aeroplanes, and missiles
Are more pointy, and phallic shaped
So i'll stick with being a circle
Or perhaps a Myriagon!
(a 10,000 sided polygon!)
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeCycle #philosophical
#LifeCycle #philosophical
56 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Funny Poetry
