Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
missjem56
Poem Published
26th Nov 2024 1:42pm
26th Nov 2024 1:42pm
Horseplay
just checked the heel of one of my boots,
and noticed it had come a bit loose,
so grabbed a small hammer,
lifted my foot up
as couldn't be bothered
to take my shoe off,
and started to hammer it back into place.
the strange thing here was
that i had a strange inclination
to neigh! 😏🙃😂
and noticed it had come a bit loose,
so grabbed a small hammer,
lifted my foot up
as couldn't be bothered
to take my shoe off,
and started to hammer it back into place.
the strange thing here was
that i had a strange inclination
to neigh! 😏🙃😂
#funny
#horses
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
#LifeAsAWriter #satirical
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
3rd Feb 2025 3:03pm
3rd Feb 2025 3:03pm
Lady Godiva Composed
On the radio
this morning
They spoke of
a composer
Who'd composed.
a piece of work
For a tenor
"Blimey!"
thought i
"They should of
come to me
I would of done it
for a fiver!"
(feeling composed....)
by Jemia
this morning
They spoke of
a composer
Who'd composed.
a piece of work
For a tenor
"Blimey!"
thought i
"They should of
come to me
I would of done it
for a fiver!"
(feeling composed....)
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#music #PowerOfWords
#music #PowerOfWords
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Feb 2025 3:59pm
4th Feb 2025 3:59pm
Awash With Chocolate!
Sat
upon
my
shelf
Tinned
chocolate
custard
I
could
bathe
in
it!
by Jemia
upon
my
shelf
Tinned
chocolate
custard
I
could
bathe
in
it!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#love #passion
#love #passion
47 reads
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missjem56
Poem Published
10th Feb 2025 00:23am
10th Feb 2025 00:23am
Not A Book Worm
I moved into my new place of residence today
A lovely old wooden framed dwelling
With its own library
(I may become a book worm once ive settled!)
I should mention, that i don't own this property
And if the owners knew i was here
They would literally resort to any means to get me out
Even resorting to having me killed
So i keep a very low profile
Thus have moved into the loft
Hidden amongst the big oaken beams
I think i'm in luck
As i'm the only woodworm in the house!
by Jemia
A lovely old wooden framed dwelling
With its own library
(I may become a book worm once ive settled!)
I should mention, that i don't own this property
And if the owners knew i was here
They would literally resort to any means to get me out
Even resorting to having me killed
So i keep a very low profile
Thus have moved into the loft
Hidden amongst the big oaken beams
I think i'm in luck
As i'm the only woodworm in the house!
by Jemia
#funny
#nature
#philosophical
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
23rd Feb 2025 4:30pm
23rd Feb 2025 4:30pm
Pigeon Holed
Oh dear
It's near
To that time of year
When the pigeons
Start performing
Life sex shows
On my balcony! (not an euphemism!)
It's like pigeon pie
In the sky
Coo!
by Jemia
It's near
To that time of year
When the pigeons
Start performing
Life sex shows
On my balcony! (not an euphemism!)
It's like pigeon pie
In the sky
Coo!
by Jemia
#birds
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #sex
#LifeAsAWriter #sex
47 reads
0 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
10th Mar 2025 1:03pm
10th Mar 2025 1:03pm
Seeker
You know I'm getting too old
To be playing hide and seek.
So I'm just gonna climb this tree.
And spy on your ass jiggling.
Running in circles.
Trying to touch me.
I touch myself,
To your agony.
It's autumn now,
And I'm still dropping seeds.
I see you rolling around,
In the pile of leaves.
I started moaning out loud,
But you thought it was the breeze.
Your friend disappeared.
You're not questioning?
I'm stuck up here,
Because no one found me.
To be playing hide and seek.
So I'm just gonna climb this tree.
And spy on your ass jiggling.
Running in circles.
Trying to touch me.
I touch myself,
To your agony.
It's autumn now,
And I'm still dropping seeds.
I see you rolling around,
In the pile of leaves.
I started moaning out loud,
But you thought it was the breeze.
Your friend disappeared.
You're not questioning?
I'm stuck up here,
Because no one found me.
#funny
47 reads
6 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
28th Feb 2025 2:15am
28th Feb 2025 2:15am
Timeless
Watched
a
programme
All
about
infinity
Went
on
for
ages!
by Jemia
a
programme
All
about
infinity
Went
on
for
ages!
by Jemia
#funny
#philosophical
#universe
48 reads
0 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
2nd Mar 2025 1:26am
2nd Mar 2025 1:26am
Silly Desperate Girl
When you put other peoples jobs on the line,
Just to get attention,
And those people,
Screwed over your friends.
Now, all your friends are gone,
And you're stuck with us.
Remembering,
What kind of person you are.
And why we shouldn't give a shit,
About you.
Just to get attention,
And those people,
Screwed over your friends.
Now, all your friends are gone,
And you're stuck with us.
Remembering,
What kind of person you are.
And why we shouldn't give a shit,
About you.
#funny
#TruthOfLife
48 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
Runaways
I visited lost property
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
49 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
Windswept
Better
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
49 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
2nd Feb 2025 2:12pm
2nd Feb 2025 2:12pm
Recipricate?
Chop sticks
Are okay as back scratchers
Not as good as rubbing up against a tree
Like a bear!
But i'm seeking alternative means
For scratching my back
So ive joined a dating site
Where-in i state
"If you scratch my back......!"
Ive received one response so far
"So if you have pets, it may be fleas!"
by Jemia
Are okay as back scratchers
Not as good as rubbing up against a tree
Like a bear!
But i'm seeking alternative means
For scratching my back
So ive joined a dating site
Where-in i state
"If you scratch my back......!"
Ive received one response so far
"So if you have pets, it may be fleas!"
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#LifeStruggles
49 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
25th Feb 2025 4:45pm
25th Feb 2025 4:45pm
Purrfectly Quackers!
When i had cats
I used to be able
To purr with them
Just like that!
Whilst a meandering
Down memory lane
I tried purring
But just sounded insane!
Like a bad impersonation
Of Donald Duck
Quack quack quck!
by Jemia
I used to be able
To purr with them
Just like that!
Whilst a meandering
Down memory lane
I tried purring
But just sounded insane!
Like a bad impersonation
Of Donald Duck
Quack quack quck!
by Jemia
#cats
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter #memories
#LifeAsAWriter #memories
49 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
