Least Read Funny Poems
#funny
Least read funny poems. Find an undiscovered masterpiece in the DU Poetry least read poems.
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Sep 2024 1:40am
10th Sep 2024 1:40am
Dots Dash For Morse
Dot dashed
She loved Morse
But thought it wouldn't last
As Morse dashed away
But Morse
Was secretly dotty, about Dot
Dot dashed to Morse
As she found him quite dashing
They later married!
And became a circus act
The dashing Morse
Would stand on Dots head
So together
They became an exclamation
They had no offspring
As they were incapable of such things
Resulting in Dot dashing off
With a question mark
She liked her curves...___...?
by Jemia?
She loved Morse
But thought it wouldn't last
As Morse dashed away
But Morse
Was secretly dotty, about Dot
Dot dashed to Morse
As she found him quite dashing
They later married!
And became a circus act
The dashing Morse
Would stand on Dots head
So together
They became an exclamation
They had no offspring
As they were incapable of such things
Resulting in Dot dashing off
With a question mark
She liked her curves...___...?
by Jemia?
#funny
#satirical
45 reads
1 Comment
missjem56
Poem Published
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
10th Nov 2024 10:56pm
Runaways
I visited lost property
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
Firstly at the police station
But to no avail
Then lost luggage
At British Rail
Then a call out on social media
After first reading an encyclopedia
Yet no matter what
No answers were got
I'd searched far, and wide
Where on earth could it hide?
As i slowly lose my mind
It's my sense of humour i can't find
And i suspect i know
That my humour
Ran away with my mojo!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
#satirical #SelfDiscovery
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0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Dec 2024 9:43pm
22nd Dec 2024 9:43pm
A Cocc, And Bull Tale
The cuckoos
coccyx
Lay damaged
by the cocks crow
As the cocks
coccyx
Began to
glow
And
so
Both thought it
all very unfair
As they
hobbled about
With a sore
derriere!
by Jemia
coccyx
Lay damaged
by the cocks crow
As the cocks
coccyx
Began to
glow
And
so
Both thought it
all very unfair
As they
hobbled about
With a sore
derriere!
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
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0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Jan 2025 11:35am
4th Jan 2025 11:35am
Me Cat. Com!
I know i'm in my sixties now
I'm not in denial of how
(Which means i am!)
Lies, lies, damn lies!!!
I'm actually twenty seven
With the curiousity of a cat
I'm a cat in a hat
With wings of a butterfly
(The cat ate the body, but left the wings!)
Poor butterfly, for goodness sake
That it should be used in a cake
Then end up in my mouth
As if by mistake!
by Jemia
I'm not in denial of how
(Which means i am!)
Lies, lies, damn lies!!!
I'm actually twenty seven
With the curiousity of a cat
I'm a cat in a hat
With wings of a butterfly
(The cat ate the body, but left the wings!)
Poor butterfly, for goodness sake
That it should be used in a cake
Then end up in my mouth
As if by mistake!
by Jemia
#aging
#butterfly
#cats
#funny
#satirical
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0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
21st Jan 2025 1:25pm
21st Jan 2025 1:25pm
Alien Fairies
Alien fairies, like eartbound fairies dwell
They have certain differences, one can easily tell
They have extra wings, that grow on their feet as well
Even their ears could flap, and hover in any position
Squeezing through the smallest of gaps, with no disposition
They could speak in twenty-five languages
That nobody could understand
Apart from parts of deep space
Where all twenty-five languages, are banned!
They've thrown some quite wild parties
Quaffing much mead by the quart
As they played their flirtatious harps
Of a very...
They have certain differences, one can easily tell
They have extra wings, that grow on their feet as well
Even their ears could flap, and hover in any position
Squeezing through the smallest of gaps, with no disposition
They could speak in twenty-five languages
That nobody could understand
Apart from parts of deep space
Where all twenty-five languages, are banned!
They've thrown some quite wild parties
Quaffing much mead by the quart
As they played their flirtatious harps
Of a very...
#aliens
#fairies
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#surreal
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0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
22nd Jan 2025 8:58pm
Windswept
Better
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
to
break
wind
Than
an
oath,
or
a
trust
Unless
that
oath,
or
trust
Is
about
not
breaking
wind!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
#philosophical #TruthOfLife
45 reads
1 Comment
Casted_Runes
Mr Karswell
Mr Karswell
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 1:53am
29th Jan 2025 1:53am
Revenge of the Fembots
When I was a kid
I wanted to write
a sequel to Levin’s
The Stepford Wives wherein
the wives would gain
fresh sentience
and calibrate
their private parts
to pulverise
their husband’s bits
like so much sausage meat
blended to mush.
Quite how I would
have executed this
I do not know,
but genius in youth
is not at all
times practical.
I wanted to write
a sequel to Levin’s
The Stepford Wives wherein
the wives would gain
fresh sentience
and calibrate
their private parts
to pulverise
their husband’s bits
like so much sausage meat
blended to mush.
Quite how I would
have executed this
I do not know,
but genius in youth
is not at all
times practical.
#funny
45 reads
2 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
4th Nov 2024 1:59am
Three Months Hard Labour
There is a young bar
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
on Queens Road
Where many a drink
has now flowed
The 1200 Postcards
were nude
But not particularly
rude
Yet comfortable
within their abode
by Jemia
#funny
#historical
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
#LifeAsAWriter #limerick
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0 Comments
AfterSexDilemma
Poem Published
31st Jan 2025 11:01pm
31st Jan 2025 11:01pm
Fun Times
Once upon a time,
Some guy stalked me everyday at school, and after school.
He'd always clean for me and give me massages.
He asked me out all the time.
I always said no.
And laughed.
Then he found someone else, and stalked her.
And I found a new stalker.
He saved me from the rapists.
He gave me everything for free,
Including my friends.
But he was a drug dealer.
And he got caught finally lol.
And then he disappeared.
So I keep getting new stalkers,
And they keep doing nice things.
Especially my...
Some guy stalked me everyday at school, and after school.
He'd always clean for me and give me massages.
He asked me out all the time.
I always said no.
And laughed.
Then he found someone else, and stalked her.
And I found a new stalker.
He saved me from the rapists.
He gave me everything for free,
Including my friends.
But he was a drug dealer.
And he got caught finally lol.
And then he disappeared.
So I keep getting new stalkers,
And they keep doing nice things.
Especially my...
#funny
46 reads
4 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
31st Oct 2024 00:12am
31st Oct 2024 00:12am
No(n)sense?
I sensed an ounce of sense
It cost me fifty pence
Not to be senseless
But this sense was nonsense
So still no sense
And now ive lost my fifty pence
Which is far better
Than losing fifty pens
And have nothing to write with
But still make no sense!
by Jemia
It cost me fifty pence
Not to be senseless
But this sense was nonsense
So still no sense
And now ive lost my fifty pence
Which is far better
Than losing fifty pens
And have nothing to write with
But still make no sense!
by Jemia
#funny
#LifeAsAWriter
#satirical
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
17th Dec 2024 6:09pm
17th Dec 2024 6:09pm
The Marmite Monster
The Marmite monster
Sometimes leaves
Their sticky footprints
In my hair!
And sometimes
Seemingly everywhere!
But where i like
This Marmite monster most
Is when he's crept
Across my toast!
by Jemia
Sometimes leaves
Their sticky footprints
In my hair!
And sometimes
Seemingly everywhere!
But where i like
This Marmite monster most
Is when he's crept
Across my toast!
by Jemia
#food
#funny
#monsters #satirical
#monsters #satirical
47 reads
0 Comments
missjem56
Poem Published
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
29th Jan 2025 1:17am
That They're There
Me, and my ears
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
Have 'special' relationship
In as much, as weve agreed
That i don't look at them
And likewise
They've agreed
Not to look at me!
They justb lurk there
Beneath my hair
So i'm left knowing
That they're there
Always
Listening to my every word!
Not only walls have ears
So do heads!
by Jemia
#funny
#parody
#satirical #surreal
#satirical #surreal
47 reads
0 Comments
DU Poetry : Least Read Funny Poems
