Inside the Killing Jar

Beautifully dark.
You write with such grace,
and the writing flow is constant.

Powerfully written & expressed, Mourningcloak. Great sadness but a beautiful write. Some aspects of the poem help deepen my understanding of someone of much significance (in my life--now deceased)who, along with her sisters, had endured great suffering in her/their childhood. Your words are very helpful. Many great lines but it was this, mainly, that struck a chord:

"To hold you here but you’re not you"

Thank you so much for sharing your inner thoughts! :)

Carlene

    

I meant every word of it. I have now added your wonderful poem to my reading list - I wasn't able to before - for further readings. Thank you for sharing your unique insights! Much appreciated! :)

Carlene

That was a beutiful rendition of the human condition with a wordsmiths use of analogies and metaphors. We all put ourselves in cages, called a comfort zone and pin our hopes hearts and souls to some ephemeral theme which often sets us out on show to the world.
Terry

really kwl

Very deep metaphores and analogies Mourningcloak Very well penned thank you for sharing.

I like this poem, its beautiful darkness and sadness. These are strangely beautiful metaphors...
lovely line:
to hold you here but you're not you
best wishes for your writing,
Autumn

Such depth and very poignant my friend.

A great release in written word, wonderfully expressed.

Beautifully Dark. Thank you for sharing your thoughts

i truly love this poem it very dark and beautiful i am going to add it to my reading list thank you for wrighting such a beautiful poem :)

I loved this  beautifully dark sad poem. The use of the butterfly in a jar, a creature of freedom and beauty, in your analogies and metaphors was amazing.
This condition few of us know  or can understand, exposed to a world.
Fav lines...
Pins pierce the body and puncture through              
To hold you here but you’re not you
Pinned and labeled put on display                            
Pressed in a box and forced to stay

My brother said the same thing, exposed. Thank you for this poem.

Beautiful, and gracefully written. As if you are gliding on the wings of the butterfly, but held fast all at once.

Your writing is absolutely amazing, I'm left in awe after every poem I read such an amazing talent should be within books.

wow, one of things i like so much about it was just reading it and soaking in the words, i loved it

loved it <3 thank you for putting up such a beautiful poem

Poetic sadness

Your poetry portrays such mournful metaphors, with hidden beauty linked to your words.
I've always found mourning cloaks very pretty and mysterious butterflies...
It is a pleasure to lay eyes on such a work of art.

Your voice here is so haunting and dark, but there is real beauty to your words and the way you express them. I'm glad I happened on this piece, and you.

:)Magnificently striking Poem!
I Loved everything about it!

Beatifully written.

"Mental illness makes for fragile wings
Always falling short of better things
A dolorous sight of stark despair
And restless flights that go nowhere"<---that was dope!
Wow! Your metaphors and analogies are captivating! AWESOME INK! xoxo :)        

There's something eternal about a moment captured for display.

Pins pierce the body and puncture through              
To hold you here but you’re not you

All to often people just get it wrong. And try soooo hard to hang on deep, postcarding moments that were never theirs to keep.

This one feels like molding children into clones. This one feels like historical editorialism, facts revamped to serve agendas. This one feels like the illusions of roles, hierarchies, people deciding what someone else's worth or purpose is, status granted based on the need of the bully reconstructing the poor soul. This one felt like...

Some early eugenics pioneer, throwing away human lives to create their own model, and then declaring the unfit ones salvage-able for the learning perspective. The ugliest butterflies... still having a use. As if function in the eyes of a human is what can justify murder and torture by the same hands. This piece rattled me deep! I loved it!

So sweet and sad at the same time you expressed a feeling of self contempt so artistically you can barely recognize its there

I ran out of adjectives to describe your poems because everybody ahead of me already said what I have in mind. Anyway, count me in...

this poem takes me back. Back to the place of my past. I can relate very well keep up the good work and I'd have to say you are beautiful no matter what

Your words are brilliant and so are you. Raw, captivating and mesmerizing. I more than love this.

so beautifully captured.

'Mental illness makes for fragile wings  
Always falling short of better things  
A dolorous sight of stark despair  
And restless flights that go nowhere'<--- this is just so real... this metaphor of the butterfly really is so clever- expressions of isolation and death. i really have fallen in love with this piece. Reading list for sure :) check out my poem 'maze of mirrors' and tell me what you think.

keep your work coming mourningcloak.

--Staratara x  

Mourningcloak,

Well expressed, loaded with feeling and so sad.

"Ugly are your wings so drab and dark          
Softly bending against rippled bark  
Golden borders with spots of blue              
Dreary patterns of somber hue  
 
Mourningcloak you are a fraud        
A butterfly severely flawed  
Unbeautiful as your name implies    
The ugliest of all butterflies"

I have come to know this butterfly and I find it's colouring beautiful, especially the blue spots along the edges of it's wings. There are no flaws. Your writing is unique and comes from deep within. I trust that your dark days will be over soon and that you will see yourself in a more favourable light!

Olga :-)
  

"To choose to live is to forget" ... we all choose to put ourselves in the killing jar at times. You seem to be aware of that choice. Your words help recovering people such as myself. You turned criticism inward to make me see within myself... nobody likes to be told that they're encasing themselves in the killing jar. Much better if they see it for themselves... this is the effect the poem had on me.

I love the way you paint a picture with words... Deep.

This is one of those times I fell head over heels in love with a poem; with a little introspection I realised it appeals to me for the simple reason that I know these feelings, I've lived these very mournful words.

Your writing speaks me, it breathes for me. You are truly a talent.

Wow, I really am impressed with your poetry, its a beautiful piece. Awesome Job.

This is just a really amazing piece. I love how in poetry it doesn't matter that I've never met the person... by reading your lines...I felt that pain...walked with you in that darkness....fave part is "Strange specimen caught in a net                  
To choose to live is to forget  
That life will end but death won’t come        
In the killing jar you just go numb " hell yeah.

forgot to hit like :P

"Isolation keeps you who you are                          
Death is endless in the killing jar"

Powerful words and very true to some.
Excellent scribe.  

This poem punched me in the face.  The good kind.

Holy crap!!!  and I mean that in a good way

I’ve always been a fan of rhyming poems, this one is simple in some ways, but not too simple to come out as boring. The choice of words is really good in making things interesting, plus the flow is awesome. All in all, I must say this is very good.

Beautiful poem.  I like how you kept the metaphor of a butterfly being trapped and pinned into a display throughout the entire poem.

So beautifully written!

Such an outlandish ideology you spun here, the beauty of ugliness imparted in your words... genius!

Incredibly gorgeous, but also very dark... I quite enjoyed this one, Mourning, and congrats on the fanbase ;)