deepundergroundpoetry.com
A Death Worth Dying For
By the time you read this I will be dead
Any comments left will go unread
Who cares if you do I won’t ever know
My heart stopped beating a few days ago
Don’t call the police it won’t do any good
If legally bound then maybe you should
They’ll run up the steps and break down the door
Finding my body face down on the floor
I’ve never been loved no one ever cared
Like the Elephant Man they pointed and starred
My family is gone I’ve never had friends
Only loneliness knows how my journey ends
No parties or dates all the fun I have missed
No social exchanges or girls have I kissed
Never been with a woman not once felt her touch
Always treated them well but they hate me so much
My guardian angel plays games with my head
Says I'm a loser and better off dead
Inside of my brain I hear those voices
Scream kill me or die are your only choices
I can’t take my life when there’s no life to take
Just a worthless nothing of a dreadful mistake
I have nothing to lose and so much to gain
By killing myself to be free from my pain
The Deep Underground was my final hope
To know something more than a chair and a rope
My life hasn’t started and now it is done
How can it be over before it’s begun?
My mental illness has ruined my life
Destroyed any chance of finding a wife
I can’t be near people we don’t get along
I wish they would die even though it is wrong
There so many times that I should have died
Attempts always failed but at least I had tried
To go on living is my greatest fear
But I take comfort that my death is near
I’ll kill what’s in me for I know it is right
My death is the cure to what I can’t fight
I’ll die as I live completely alone
From a horrible world where I was unknown
If Deep Underground wants to pay its respects
You’re welcome to take my private effects
What else can I say that hasn’t been said
Just remember my poems when I am dead
An angelic light shines down on this poem
Now is the time for me to go home
At peace I do dwell it’s my turn to die
I submit my last poem and a tearful goodbye
Any comments left will go unread
Who cares if you do I won’t ever know
My heart stopped beating a few days ago
Don’t call the police it won’t do any good
If legally bound then maybe you should
They’ll run up the steps and break down the door
Finding my body face down on the floor
I’ve never been loved no one ever cared
Like the Elephant Man they pointed and starred
My family is gone I’ve never had friends
Only loneliness knows how my journey ends
No parties or dates all the fun I have missed
No social exchanges or girls have I kissed
Never been with a woman not once felt her touch
Always treated them well but they hate me so much
My guardian angel plays games with my head
Says I'm a loser and better off dead
Inside of my brain I hear those voices
Scream kill me or die are your only choices
I can’t take my life when there’s no life to take
Just a worthless nothing of a dreadful mistake
I have nothing to lose and so much to gain
By killing myself to be free from my pain
The Deep Underground was my final hope
To know something more than a chair and a rope
My life hasn’t started and now it is done
How can it be over before it’s begun?
My mental illness has ruined my life
Destroyed any chance of finding a wife
I can’t be near people we don’t get along
I wish they would die even though it is wrong
There so many times that I should have died
Attempts always failed but at least I had tried
To go on living is my greatest fear
But I take comfort that my death is near
I’ll kill what’s in me for I know it is right
My death is the cure to what I can’t fight
I’ll die as I live completely alone
From a horrible world where I was unknown
If Deep Underground wants to pay its respects
You’re welcome to take my private effects
What else can I say that hasn’t been said
Just remember my poems when I am dead
An angelic light shines down on this poem
Now is the time for me to go home
At peace I do dwell it’s my turn to die
I submit my last poem and a tearful goodbye
Published 11th Jan 2013
| Edited 30th Jun 2015
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 29
reading list entries 12
comments 27
reads 1901
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
11th Jan 2013 3:40pm
11th Jan 2013 5:42pm
This is remarkably well written and very well done. Wonderful piece. It's difficult to tell if you are actually going to do it or not, but I certainly hope you don't. This shows a whole lot of talent and it's very nice.
11th Jan 2013 6:00pm
A very profound write and I hope this release helped you because I want to read more from you.
A well written piece. Don't go away.
A well written piece. Don't go away.
Anonymous
12th Jan 2013 00:18am
Please don't leave, you're amazing!
You write very well, and I can't really tell if you are serious or not D:
You write very well, and I can't really tell if you are serious or not D:
Anonymous
15th Jan 2013 2:36am
Oh bah.
Well thank the lord.
I thought you were dead -.-
Well thank the lord.
I thought you were dead -.-
Hey T...should I be obscure and ask how you wrote such a great emotional sublimation so eloquently?
Should I be Socratic and comment that you must be the first living heart donor to write such a masterpiece of rhythm and rhyme. "My heart stopped beating a few days ago"
Should I be a didactic pedagogue and point out any flaw in your very special idiosyncratic musings and the way that you express your superlative sentimentalities so sublimely that you could become the Suzerain of pictographic dialogue that creates a multitude of metaphorical aphorisms in the readers mind?
Or should I just be me and write...no comment 'cause you won't get it anyway.
The real irony of contemplating suicide, as Nietzsche says he did to pass the time, is that the majority of people that think about it haven't experienced death.
Trust me on this, having been revived after a bad fall, everything having stopped. Dying is easy. It is all the shit that you bring back with you that is hard to live with.
But I suppose such a beautiful artist such as yourself may just burn brightly for a short while and then give up at writing a better poem than 'IF'.
That was my threnody to you but really I would prefer to have you around to tease a bit more.
Always a pleasure to read your work.
Terry
Should I be Socratic and comment that you must be the first living heart donor to write such a masterpiece of rhythm and rhyme. "My heart stopped beating a few days ago"
Should I be a didactic pedagogue and point out any flaw in your very special idiosyncratic musings and the way that you express your superlative sentimentalities so sublimely that you could become the Suzerain of pictographic dialogue that creates a multitude of metaphorical aphorisms in the readers mind?
Or should I just be me and write...no comment 'cause you won't get it anyway.
The real irony of contemplating suicide, as Nietzsche says he did to pass the time, is that the majority of people that think about it haven't experienced death.
Trust me on this, having been revived after a bad fall, everything having stopped. Dying is easy. It is all the shit that you bring back with you that is hard to live with.
But I suppose such a beautiful artist such as yourself may just burn brightly for a short while and then give up at writing a better poem than 'IF'.
That was my threnody to you but really I would prefer to have you around to tease a bit more.
Always a pleasure to read your work.
Terry
15th Jan 2013 00:07am
In any order...'IF'... we all need a goal to aim for...a sort of internal competition that only we can be the judge of who the winner is. So that is why I gave you 'IF'
Tease? well maybe test how well you are developing as a person since you have been on the site so I can make comments accordingly.
For example I think that I can now safely say ... change your profile by deleting all those lines and just put Poet, Poet. Now you will decide for yourself without caring what I think. This is because what I think one way is balanced out by what other people think the other way and you will never please everyone whichever way you go, so please yourself.
I get what you say about people that care about you. If you have one true friend in this world then you are a rich man.
Thought that you might like this link.
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/no-man-is-an-island.html
Terry
Tease? well maybe test how well you are developing as a person since you have been on the site so I can make comments accordingly.
For example I think that I can now safely say ... change your profile by deleting all those lines and just put Poet, Poet. Now you will decide for yourself without caring what I think. This is because what I think one way is balanced out by what other people think the other way and you will never please everyone whichever way you go, so please yourself.
I get what you say about people that care about you. If you have one true friend in this world then you are a rich man.
Thought that you might like this link.
http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/no-man-is-an-island.html
Terry
15th Jan 2013 00:11am
Wow this was amazing. I loved it. If we don't have anybody we have our DU family :)
16th Jan 2013 6:30pm
Wow what a brilliant if tragic poem that is. Like a few others on this site I'm an ex soldier who has seen too much of death and it's not what it's cracked up to be ;-)
I supsect you have a lot of music left in your soul my friend and I also think people care more than you think so please stick around. I for one want you to 'cos I'd like to read more of your poems.
The dead Poets Society is no place for you baby!
Luv & hugz
I supsect you have a lot of music left in your soul my friend and I also think people care more than you think so please stick around. I for one want you to 'cos I'd like to read more of your poems.
The dead Poets Society is no place for you baby!
Luv & hugz
26th Jan 2013 8:26pm
Your poems are always so honest, so revealing, and always touch me. Hope you are well.
27th Jan 2013 6:45am
23rd Feb 2013 4:21pm
"Very few people are fascinated by my work"
MC, sometimes it is quality as opposed to quantity.
You have a powerful voice, and much to give and share so that others can understand what MI is, and how it cripples. The voice of experience can be inspiration to others. Use it.
Lola
MC, sometimes it is quality as opposed to quantity.
You have a powerful voice, and much to give and share so that others can understand what MI is, and how it cripples. The voice of experience can be inspiration to others. Use it.
Lola
24th Feb 2013 00:17am
I am glad that you will continue to write. I find for myself that writing helps to clarify feelings, emotions and thoughts that I have. A bit like therapy without the high price tag.
Lola
Lola
Anonymous
24th Feb 2013 1:21am
:)I love the richness in your dark ink!
Captivating!
Captivating!
7th Apr 2013 3:46am
this is how I've felt and some of my poems I know will tell two especially will and if I write them in a private message to you please do everything you can to stop me. I can and do relate to this all too well.
7th Apr 2013 9:27am
Whispered the night ..Real ..
There are eyes and watch you everywhere ..
And private .. Rear window .. There hammock ..
Tip Do not look there. From now .. Please ..
Will consider you from there .. If you see her
Rat you ..
And I can not help you now.
You are to consider ..
And you do not know the inevitable fate ..
Several degrees and connecting to the room .. Peace close the door ..
Doll know something ..
Stiletto know something ..
We know the secret message in the old and the past
There are at summer camp .. In the past,
Well remember what happened ..
And though
You want it
Whispered the night .. Real ..
Voice inside you says
Beware of me .. You're near me
And I am close to you
Soon
If you want to ...
I'm the real source of fear ..
There are eyes and watch you everywhere ..
And private .. Rear window .. There hammock ..
Tip Do not look there. From now .. Please ..
Will consider you from there .. If you see her
Rat you ..
And I can not help you now.
You are to consider ..
And you do not know the inevitable fate ..
Several degrees and connecting to the room .. Peace close the door ..
Doll know something ..
Stiletto know something ..
We know the secret message in the old and the past
There are at summer camp .. In the past,
Well remember what happened ..
And though
You want it
Whispered the night .. Real ..
Voice inside you says
Beware of me .. You're near me
And I am close to you
Soon
If you want to ...
I'm the real source of fear ..
15th Sep 2013 7:37am
You truly are the master of the dark side of poetry. I love your work. Ihopeyou found release after writing this, irealize i was a little late finding it but just the same, i hope all is well, as well as it can be, anyway.
29th Sep 2013 5:21pm
25th Dec 2013 12:11pm
7th Feb 2014 6:29am
15th Sep 2014 10:31am
18th Dec 2016 2:09pm
This is written sublimely, it feels like a piece of your heart or two truly went into it, well done.
15th Apr 2020 1:32am
5th May 2020 5:40pm
I fell by the wayside like everyone else
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself
Our every moment, I start to replace
'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal, but this won't
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Was never the right time, whenever you called
Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all
Our every moment, I start to replay
But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, some can heal, but this won't
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Would we be better off by now
If I'd have let my walls come down?
Maybe, I guess we'll never know
You know, you know
Before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, but I was just kidding myself
Our every moment, I start to replace
'Cause now that they're gone, all I hear are the words that I needed to say
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, time can heal, but this won't
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Was never the right time, whenever you called
Went little by little by little until there was nothing at all
Our every moment, I start to replay
But all I can think about is seeing that look on your face
When you hurt under the surface
Like troubled water running cold
Well, some can heal, but this won't
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
Would we be better off by now
If I'd have let my walls come down?
Maybe, I guess we'll never know
You know, you know
Before you go
Was there something I could've said to make your heart beat better?
If only I'd have known you had a storm to weather
So, before you go
Was there something I could've said to make it all stop hurting?
It kills me how your mind can make you feel so worthless
So, before you go
