I’m a loser baby

I liked myself better
when I hated myself more
misery had a melody
self destruction had rhythm
now I’m fumblin thru life
like a virgin at an orgy
good intentions but awkward as fuck

my hands remember Rachmaninoff
but my brain has set fire
to the keys
sendin up smoke signals
to a god that stopped listenin
somewhere between genesis
and my one man show of self sabotage

they called me gifted
before my fingers learned to tremble
virtuoso playin tag with oblivion
composin chaos from memory
russian roulette
with black and white keys
in another unfinished suicide symphony

I could’ve been somethin
but life left bruises round my throat
so instead I became myself
mosaic of sharp edges
and midnight confessions
held together with safety pins
and disappointment

congratulations asshole
you’ve survived another sunrise
in this concerto of fuck ups
with a crooked smile
and middle finger held high
now take a bow
your audience is waitin…always waitin